Straightening Out
by TheLuciferPerson
Summary: Sequel/continuation of "What they were, What they are." Goku and Yama have come back to Vongola, but they've changed, and not really for the better. Will the others accept them, and will they be able to accept their own new being? Let there be peace.
1. Fix what's broke

**This story is the sequel to my other story, "Gokudera's Life Story," which has now changed titles to be "What they were, What they are!"**** On the last chapter of the other story, it seems there was some confusion about the Gokudera and Yamamoto relationship with some readers so I've decided to elaborate on that.**

**I think that this story will still make a little bit of sense even if you haven't read what is now "What they were, What they are," but it will be confusing. If you don't feel like reading my other story (although I strongly recommend you do), you should know that Gokudera is a recently traumatized person who has a nervous admirer, Yamamoto. **

**But there is a catch. Gokudera has been traumatized by **_**something**_** that **_**Yamamoto**_** did to him when he was on a high. Yeah….**

**This relationship is friendship with benefits…I guess.**

**And now, without further ado, please enjoy "Straightening Out."**

No matter how much they tried, neither Gokudera nor Yamamoto could control their minds, their feelings, even if their situations were back in the comfortable normal life of before.

Things had changed, after all. They had changed. That was just an unfortunate fact.

When Yamamoto and Gokudera arrived at the Rain living quarters, it sort of was another painful reminder of how everything was different now. Yes, they had agreed to start again, but they had just said that…acting as such was something far more difficult.

But it somehow came as a surprise to the both of them all the same.

Gokudera, usually snarky and sarcastic, didn't comment on the rather disheveled atmosphere in Yamamoto's place (which was a stark contrast to his neat and orderly Storm section condominium) and after receiving permission from Yamamoto with an asking look, settled on the couch and leaned back, staring into nothing.

Yamamoto joined him gingerly, careful not to be too close.

Neither of them spoke. There were no words to say, and although the mood was an awkward one, they didn't feel that way. It was hard to describe how they felt.

Gokudera fidgeted lightly in his seat after a pause. What was he supposed to do now? It was usually always Yamamoto who started anything, not him, but obviously Yamamoto was at an awkward end what after the whole _incident_.

Gokudera didn't know what to do; he just wasn't naturally an affectionate or romantic sort of person.

He wasn't comfortable enough with Yamamoto to joke and push him around as he used to, he wasn't hungry or thirsty, and yet there was all this time to fill in now that it was after work-hours on holiday.

Funny thing was, he wasn't bored either. He felt like he was just existing and nothing more or less. It was a peaceful sort of being.

Yamamoto felt more or less the same way, but in a more simple way. He was simply at a loss for anything to do or say. He just breathed.

They both had done everything they could to set things right and wholesome again. It just took time for their hearts and minds to cooperate with each other. Meanwhile, there was still all this time to kill and still neither of them had made a move.

After a little while of just mooching around, somehow the TV got turned on and they started watching random things on TV, having a light snack on the balcony, talking about and thinking over completely unrelated things, Gokudera cleared his throat a little louder than necessary and got up with finality.

"I'm going to go," he said, glancing at Yamamoto as though he was asking permission to leave. Gathering his things, he headed for the door without saying anything else.

Rushing up to his feet, Yamamoto exclaimed, "Ah, yeah. You're not going to stay for dinner?" Yamamoto wasn't sure, even as he (sort of) invited Gokudera to stay for dinner, if he actually wanted to have dinner with the Storm Guardian.

It would just be….he didn't know. All of the future seemed an unknown and frightening prospect.

Being kind, but starting to get tired, Gokudera just replied, "Nah. I don't think I'll be eating dinner tonight…not hungry. I should go anyways. Gotta have my quality time with me, myself, and I…oh, and Uri, of course. That cat actually missed me, it seems. You should be by yourself for a little while, too. Get back that settled-in feeling."

Smiling despite himself at Gokudera's considerate advice, Yamamoto felt his heart lifting just a little bit. "Is that so? I told you all along that Uri actually likes you a lot! But I do understand your wanting to be alone with your thoughts for a bit. I feel the same way, and I will. Here, I'll take you to your place."

Gokudera shrugged. "If you like," he said, before heading out.

And that was the way it went between the two of them. Not uncomfortable, but not comfortable either. Just…being. A sort of cautious and lethal way of 'being.'

Changes were changes, after all. But whether they were for good or bad, or even nothing, only the two of them could determine that.

They walked down the hallway together, but distant (in a sense) and parted their ways. As he walked back to his own place and slumped down, fully clothed, on his bed, Yamamoto cursed himself, the Mafia, the world, and fate. Why, why, why did this have to happen to him, to Gokudera, to them?

He still loved Gokudera, he knew that much. But who knew, how could anyone know what Gokudera felt? Should he cut the whole relationship off for Gokudera's own good, or should he make a move? He was too uncertain to try, let alone do anything.

For the first week or so, the Rain and Storm Guardians' relationship was held at a standstill in that limbo-like state. It just didn't feel right.

Neither of them liked this new pattern of hanging out in the Rain section instead of the Storm as they had done before. But it went without saying that Gokudera wasn't going to be the one to invite Yamamoto over, and Yamamoto was too scared to try to ask to go to Gokudera'a apartment condominium for dinner. And he had good reason to be.

There was no telling whether Gokudera might suddenly be seized with a panic as the horrid flashbacks came rushing towards him, no telling how Gokudera might react to this unwelcome intruding nightmare in his mind.

Because, even though Gokudera pretended that he was perfectly okay (mostly to spare Yamamoto from suffering extreme guilt and anxiety) with it all, Yamamoto could still see how although Gokudera had stopped physically tensing up whenever he was around (mainly because Gokudera had achieved that forcibly through pure will rather than naturally), he was still closed up emotionally.

Every few times when they spent time together, Yamamoto could see how Gokudera would suddenly be cringed up, scowling in pain, and with his eyes tightly shut. Gokudera, when he had gotten over that unpleasant flashback, always shook himself roughly and acted as though everything was okay, but he didn't speak much, refused to speak about it.

A good few weeks had passed. None of Vongola besides Tsuna knew of the traumatizing happenings between the Rain and Storm Guardian, but they sensed the difference.

Yamamoto pointedly smiled less, and even though he still smiled when Gokudera was around, his smiles were more longing and anxious rather than filled with excitement and affection as they had been before. This unnerved everyone (besides Gokudera and Tsuna), especially the Rain department people, but they tried to laugh it off.

Gokudera didn't even make the few threats that he used to much anymore. It was rare to hear him raise his voice now, and even though he cussed more than before, the way that he quietly did so now made the expletives sound as though they came straight from hell. Of course he still had a quick temper and a short patience, but he clearly was restraining himself by the way that his mouth would set and close his eyes. The Storm department was practically too worried for their leader (and frightened by him) to live.

But they say time heals all wounds. In some time, Vongola felt a bit more comfortable with the Rain and Storm as they used to be. The tenseness had largely gone away.

Although Gokudera had looked at Yamamoto in dislike whenever Yamamoto accidentally touched him before, now he seemed to take it as a matter of course. Yamamoto also seemed to be more relieved and relaxed. Tsuna was positively relieved that they were getting better but he was still worried.

In due time, it was almost like the two of them were back where they used to be (although this was not so in private). They were sent on missions together again, mainly because they both had insisted that they were okay with everything. But this proved to be a not so very good choice.

Vongola needed to 'tame' an ally which had been drifting in a weird direction. It seemed that they were dealing with drugs and using torture against weaker families to get these drugs.

Of course, as a crucial diplomatic mission, Gokudera and Yamamoto were sent.

When they heard that they would be sent on a mission together at a meeting, Gokudera and Yamamoto looked at each other in disbelief, and looked at Tsuna together in even more disbelief. Already they were going to be sent on an extensive mission together? Tsuna squirmed a little, but he pleaded with them.

"Please, Gokudera, Yamamoto. This is crucial. And you both were our best at things like this. Do you know how many of our missions and connections got botched up by other less skilled people when you guys weren't here? I just thank god that the Cavallone family was good enough to pass off the much-improvement-needed manners of our agents. Dino was actually pretty annoyed at me and I had to clear everything up! Lost ten years off my life thinking that we had hurt our allied connection, I tell you. Please. This is a tough and sensitive issue and mission, and only you guys can handle it right."

The other Guardians were astonished that Gokudera and Yamamoto didn't jump at the chance for a mission together as they used to. (or Yamamoto anyway). All of them gaped their mouths open at this extraordinary behavior and shrieked, "What!...Gokudera not being a workaholic and Yamamoto not being a loveaholic? Are you two okay?"

Gokudera and Yamamoto looked at each other again with serious expressions. How were they supposed to find an out of this situation without alerting the other Guardians of what had happened?

Gokudera, after much beating around the bush and coughing uncomfortably, finally said, "It's…well, it's not actually the fact that we're going to be sent on a mission together that's the problem, Juudaime…uhm…"

Gokudera looked at Yamamoto for help in his discomfort. But Yamamoto shook his head and nodded at Gokudera to speak. He knew that whatever it was, Gokudera would say it better. He probably would completely give away something secret.

"…uhm…Tsuna, it's not that I don't want to go on the mission with that Rain idiot, but… did you read the assignment report?" Gokudera finally said.

Tsuna flushed with embarrassment and a sort of pity. "Yeah…it's about drugs and….and torture isn't it?"

Gokudera just stared. Did his boss and long time friend really not know him well enough to know or understand that he wasn't comfortable, at all, with hearing about drugs and torture for god's sake?

But it couldn't be helped.

"I'll do it, Tsuna. I'll be going now," was all that Gokudera said before he whirled out of the room without waiting for a reply, banging the door slightly in his distressed rush.

All the Guardians besides Yamamoto either thought or said, "What's up with him, alla sudden?" but Tsuna frowned at the table top worriedly and Yamamoto fidgeted.

After a minute, Yamamoto stood up and muttered, "I'll go after him," behind his back as he followed in Gokudera's lead.

He found Gokudera in a relatively short time. The Storm Guardian was sitting stiffly in the Storm department lobby, his elbows on his knees. Yamamoto sat opposite him in the couch in front of the Storm Guardian, coughing unnecessarily to announce his presence, as though the muttered greetings of, "Hello, Rain Guardian," by the surrounding Storm agents hadn't already alerted Gokudera of his presence.

But before he could talk, Gokudera beat him to it. "Are you confused about anything? I read the report all the way through and I can review it for you if you like. We'll be leaving early tomorrow, by the way."

Yamamoto shook his head. "No, I'm fine with it. I wanted to know if you were okay. I mean it hasn't been all that long since, you know…and you're still sensitive, of course. You don't have to take it and force yourself more than you should."

"I don't pretend to take any of what you said seriously, _Takeshi_," Gokudera said scathingly. He got up. "Five A.M. sharp at the gates. I'll reserve a car on the train express for us and we'll talk there. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have quite a lot of preparing to do, and if I'm not much mistaken, you do as well."

With that, he left.

Yamamoto was left, stunned by the curtness, but smiled as though nothing had gone wrong to the nosy Storm agents and went to his work.

(the next day) It was four fourty-five when Yamamoto showed up at the gates, waiting and ready for Gokudera. At precisely four fifty-nine, Gokudera showed.

They said nothing as they were transported to the train, said nothing as they boarded the train car, and still remained silent as they settled in for the three hour trip. When they finally got there, Yamamoto being ruthlessly thrashed back into shape by a rather displeased Gokudera for the whole trip, they were ready.

The two of them were greeted kindly enough by the Family, but they could tell that they were not exactly welcome. Obviously this family had been expecting a stern warning to shape up and was resenting being told what to do.

Gokudera and Yamamoto went into the plush conference room where they met with the head of the Family, the seventh Devili (random family name that I just made up, btw.) boss, who smiled at them but whose smile did not reach his eyes. The Devili right hand was sitting next to him looking unpleasant.

After some chit chat unrelated to the Mafia to break the ice, Gokudera gave Yamamoto a little inside subtle sign and got started. The conversation had finally been steered to something related to the issue of drugs and torture.

"So…talking about medications, I've heard that the Devili family has some interaction with drugs." Gokudera leaned back in his chair as though he was merely making small talk casually.

The Seventh Devili boss' face changed a little into a darker shade. "Has there been talk of that? Well, what have you heard, may I ask?"

"It has come to the Vongola Family's attention that less than legal and moral means have been used in the obtaining of these drugs. Neither are the drugs simple medications."

Here, the Devili right hand jumped in. "We were aware that the Vongola does not think highly of drug dealing, but what matter when it does not directly involve or endanger the Vongola? We have been operating strictly underground and none of this matter has ever seen broad daylight and never will."

Gokudera sat up, now annoyed at the man's impudence. "If you will recall the agreement, the alliance, among the Vongola, Cavallone, Devili, and several other families, it clearly states that while underground operations are tolerated, underhanded behavior is not. I assume that it is known that the general Mafia does not attempt to prevent violence, but whether that be or no, _torture_ violates the conditions of the alliance which you are a part of. And if you had not been notified, the other members of the alliance are working to become more integrated into legal society. We request that you terminate the drug-dealing business."

Yamamoto was astonished that Gokudera was speaking so coherently and clearly about torture and drugs even though it hadn't been that long since he had been terribly tortured himself. Gokudera seemed to need no help in his airtight argument.

The seventh Devili boss looked positively ugly at Gokudera's words. "Just because the other members of this alliance mean to work backwards of what the Mafia has always done does not mean that the Devili must! Also, nowhere in the alliance that we are a part of does it state that drug-dealing is not allowed. We are not disturbing the peace by stirring up riots or wars; we may be using force, but we only use the necessary amount and it is not underhanded."

The Devili right hand jumped in. "And they were warned several times before we resorted to force, as well. This can hardly be underhanded."

Gokudera would have snorted in derision if he had not had his manners and sense in public. He gave a subtle sign for Yamamoto to speak his mind.

Yamamoto quietly said, "Our sources have informed us that your so-called 'warnings' were actually threats of potential war and disharmony in this region. As such, this is behavior that is not tolerated in this alliance."

Gokudera shot a approving look at Yamamoto. He was comfortable now with the situation. There was no way that the Devili family could falsely claim that they were not threatening the conditions of the alliance.

Then, the Devili seventh boss spoke.

"Unfortunately, even if the Devili wished to cut off our entire drug trading business now, we are bound by a contract with another drug dealing family. The contract binds the Devili into a partnership in the drug trading business for a minimum of three years, of which only a sixth has been served. This contract, which the Vendicare witnessed and oversaw, will be in effect, whether we want it to be or not, for at least a couple years. _You do know what that means, don't you_?"

[People who have not read the chapter 'Capture and Torture' in my other story, "What they were, What they are," will not get the significance of the last sentence.]

Yamamoto paled. He knew, after watching that horrid video tape of _the incident,_ that Gokudera had been told the same exact thing as the Devili seventh's last sentence…precisely just as he had been thrown into the real nightmare that had caused his trauma. Whirling around hurridly, he looked at Gokudera.

Gokudera looked anything but okay. His green eyes were wide open, but they were frantically flitting as though they were seeing the whole traumatic _incident_ play out again before him. He clearly was not seeing what was actually before him, but something entirely different in his mind. His lithe body was tense all over and his lips were set almost sharply with anger, fear, confusion, and a whole host of other unpleasant emotions.

Then Gokudera shut his eyes and turned his head away, his expression twisting at the horror of the terrible memory still clearly in his mind.

Yamamoto didn't know what to do.

On one hand, he wanted to hug and comfort Gokudera, to tell him that it was just something past and that it wasn't happening anymore, that it wouldn't happen anymore. On the other hand, since he knew that he had been the cause of Gokudera's trauma, he felt like he should get away from Gokudera to avoid causing him more fear and anger and pain.

But he couldn't do either in the presence of the Devili family boss and right-hand.

Randomly making up some excuse that Gokudera had not been feeling particularly well these days, he gripped his partner firmly by the forearm and dragged him out of the conference room to the nearest restroom he could find.

When he had regained just a little control over himself enough to realize what was happening, Gokudera ripped his arm away from Yamamoto's grip and fixed him with a stare storming with a million different feelings while backing away as far as he could to the opposite wall. Yamamoto flushed, unpleasant heat rising in him, and looked down, but he didn't move away from Gokudera and shuffled to where Gokudera was. He was too worried about Gokudera to keep away from him.

There was no knowing what Gokudera might do in a state like this.

He felt Gokudera moving to push him, hard, away, and automatically he acted to protect himself, taking hold of Gokudera's wrists and pinning them down to stop him.

Bad, bad, idea. The worst thing Yamamoto could have done to Gokudera, really.

Gokudera paled at being restrained much the same way by the exact same person who had 'assaulted and attacked' him into his trauma, and he reacted even more violently.

Agilely twisting out of his grip, he slammed Yamamoto so hard in the chest that Yamamoto was sent crashing down to the floor.

Even as he fought to breathe again after having all the wind knocked out of him, Yamamoto knew that he had been stupid to act the way he did and that he should have expected Gokudera to react the way he did. Why couldn't he ever think before he acted? But he didn't have time to regret what he did; he had to deal with the current situation.

"Gokudera, please! This is me, not the distorted, high monster that did _that_ to you. Please get back to your senses! Remember where you are!"

Even as he pleaded with Gokudera, Yamamoto knew that he was asking the impossible. Gokudera was still staring at him with a look full of hurt and hatred just waiting to be released at a moment's notice.

Yamamoto started stuttering something, sighed, and then just said, "I'm sorry, Gokudera. For everything….But can we please talk over this after we settle this business trip? We'll only have to discuss a little more and then we'll be done. We'll talk on the train ride back, I promise."

With that, and praying that Gokudera would come to his senses, Yamamoto started walking slowly out of the bathroom back to the conference room. When he looked behind him off of the reflection of the polished marble walls, he saw that Gokudera, his eyes still ice-cold, was quietly following.

They cleared up the meeting quickly after that. The Devili family head and right hand had been much unnerved at Gokudera's sudden shocking reaction (which they had taken to be an outburst of anger and impatience), and now to be looked upon with Gokudera's now storming and piercing stare and addressed with a huskily stressed but snappy voice was too much for them.

Seeing that they were weakening, Yamamoto just jumped in and finished the conference off with a, "It is much appreciated to the Vongola and the whole alliance that you will close off this drug dealing business. We have considerable influence and connections with the Vindicare and will straighten all of the niceties of the contract for you. We will also contact the other families in the drug contract and explain to them the circumstances. A notice of will be sent to you within the next few weeks. Thank you," and quickly ushered Gokudera out to be taken back to the train.

Yamamoto wondered, as the he boarded the train after Gokudera, what he would say to Gokudera during the train ride. He had promised to talk, but about what exactly? And how?

Seeing Gokudera fairly curled up in distress in the couch provided for them in the Special Premium First Class car on the train, somehow compelled him to enter and settle down on the chair opposite Gokudera.

He took several calming breaths and sternly told himself not to act like a fool/ idiot and not to senselessly and mindlessly run towards Gokudera and shock/ traumatize the Storm Guardian halfway to hell as he did before. This had to be played out right for it to work.

It took Yamamoto a little bit to steel his mind enough to decide that he was going to keep his promise and speak to Gokudera, but when he finally did, his resolve was firm.

He had to try to straighten up what he messed up.


	2. Psycho Problems

**Hey all! Second chapter! Btw, I forgot to ask in the last chapter, but can you please review? **

**Anyways, thank you for reading, at any rate! Let's go! Andiamo!**

**Note: This chapter is not exactly angsty because no one is in pain, but there are some painful topics gonna be discussed. Gokudera is going to go a bit psycho in this one, but you can hardly blame him (or me) if you know what he's been through. Poor guy…**

But even as his (Yamamoto's) resolve was firm, actually carrying out the process properly without causing Gokudera to explode was a completely different story. Yamamoto kept on conjuring words to say in his mind, and then shaking his head to disperse them because they were unsatisfying.

He gingerly looked at Gokudera again and was rather surprised to see Gokudera looking morosely down at the ground instead of almost spitting in anger as he was just a few minutes ago. Yamamoto's resolve changed into concern.

Somehow, he knew that he shouldn't speak just now. Gokudera just wasn't in a speaking mood and if he was pushed in moods like this, he would simply close off and wouldn't likely open up so easily ever again. Gokudera looked like he was okay, in that moment, with just his thoughts.

Yamamoto moved quietly and sat down on the couch next to Gokudera. After a little while, Gokudera leaned back and closed his eyes, and it was only then that Yamamoto saw just how tired Gokudera was. Poor him. He'd been through a lot.

A little later, it was apparent that Gokudera had fallen asleep by the gentle rocking of the train. Feeling at peace at seeing his 'lover-but-not-really' at peace, Yamamoto fell asleep as well. But he was careful not to be touching Gokudera.

When he woke, Gokudera was back in that contemplative mode that he was so often in. Yamamoto looked at Gokudera, looked at the clock, and looked at Gokudera again.

Almost an hour had passed since they had first boarded the train. When had Gokudera gotten up and how long had he been thinking like that? The expression on Gokudera's face spoke of an eternity of secrets, longing, hope, and mystery.

Yamamoto looked down at the floor. Although the atmosphere in the train was totally peaceful and the gentle rocking was soothing, he didn't feel sleepy anymore after seeing Gokudera like that. He looked at the floor and wondered when he would screw up the will to actually talk as he had promised. There was no way Gokudera was going to…

"Takeshi, do you still love me?"

Out of nowhere, Gokudera broke the silence. Yamamoto nearly died of surprise and shock. For a minute, he wasn't sure about anything.

Taking a quick deep breath, his mind thought so fast that he himself was astonished.

He knew that asking Gokudera why he was asking such a question was pointless. Gokudera probably didn't know too well himself, and he being so insensible would make Gokudera back away when he had tentatively taken a tiny step forward.

He knew that if he drew out the silence, then that would discourage Gokudera as well. And god knew that in such a state as this, it wouldn't be surprising if Gokudera tried to commit suicide right then in front of him. He didn't need anything more negative.

Yamamoto decided to stick with the truth and find out the truth at the same time.

"Yes. That hasn't changed. But Gokudera, whatever you are thinking, please stop. I don't think you are thinking straight right in this moment. You haven't been…perfectly okay these days, have you?" Yamamoto's voice trembled ever so slightly at the last bit. Would Gokudera be okay with being asked such a question as that?

Fortunately, Gokudera seemed to be in one of his philosophical moods, which meant that he didn't get ticked or pissed off easily. Gokudera always did have a thing for truth, after all, even if he was a sneaky bastard. (Oh….that was a low blow.) Just like the time before the Mafia Meeting, when Gokudera had just blatantly stated his feelings to him (read the chapter 'Mafia Meeting- adult life' in my other story, "What they were, What they are.")…would that happen again?

Gokudera sighed and scowled simultaneously, but he clearly wasn't in one of his reserved and resentful moods. Almost drawling, he spoke.

"No, I'm not okay. I keep on having these…flashbacks, as you know, and they keep disrupting my attempts to go back to life as it used to be; god knows it's hard enough without them. And…well I've always had this problem, but it's gotten much worse lately…I have memory lapses. It's gotten to the point where I'll be going somewhere, and alla sudden, I'll turn around and stop, and not have the slightest idea of why and how I got there."

Yamamoto felt an incredible pain and sympathy rush through him. He had known that Gokudera, having suffered childhood trauma in the past and having suffered severe trauma again recently, would experience problems such as hysteria, flashbacks, and mental defaults, but it still hurt to have it confirmed directly by Gokudera himself.

Trying to calm himself, he choked out, "I suppose you can't see Shamal or some other doctor, can you?" The silence that followed was electric.

Gokudera spat out a short laugh before saying, "If I were to do that, I'd have to tell why I was having these problems, and if anyone else knew why, pretty soon everyone would know. And it wouldn't be too damn long before you'd start getting mosquito bites everywhere and the very food inside you would turn to poison."

Yamamoto gulped despite himself. Shamal and Bianchi didn't think, and had never thought too cordially of him, and if they knew about this matter, their dislike would turn to downright fury, hatred, and a burning desire to avenge their 'student' and brother.

How would you like to die? Death by disease? Death by poison? Or perhaps both? You choose.

Gokudera glanced at Yamamoto's discomfited expression and hacked out another short laugh. "So in short, I won't be getting professional help unless you're suicidal."

There was a pause. Gokudera almost absentmindedly played with the hard shiny buttons on his blazer jacket as he casually spoke his next words.

"Talking about you being suicidal, that reminds me of that one time when you jumped off the school roof in a fit." Another loaded pause. "Was that the only time you ever thought about committing suicide?"

Yamamoto didn't squirm this time. It wasn't a squirming type of question.

"I don't really think I was _actually_ suicidal at the time…"

"You _actually_ jumped off the roof," Gokudera interrupted, playing with his blazer buttons.

"Yeah, but that was more like, 'Oh, I'm upset so I think I'm going to do something stupid! How convenient, a high place to jump off of! Death's a pretty solid way to end everything. Whatever, here's a go!' moment than anything else. It wasn't serious. Besides, real suicides don't stop trying if they're stopped in their attempt. They try, and try again until they…you know…succeed, I guess."

Yamamoto fell silent here, waiting for Gokudera's reaction.

Gokudera finally let his buttons be with one final flick. "Do you think any of the other people have ever been suicidal?"

Yamamoto smiled sadly and offered his thoughts.

"Well, definitely not Tsuna. Definitely not. And not the girls, you know Kyoko, Haru, Chrome, I-pin, and the others. I don't think any of our teachers or authorities either, like Lal, Reborn, or Shamal. As for the Guardians…well, not that I know Lambo that well, but I can't help thinking of him as a kid still, so no. Definitely not Ryohei. He's too passionate to hide something like that. I mean, I guess, it's possible with Hibari…who knows much about him? But he's the type to be violent to others, not himself, so probably no. Mukuro…"

Here Yamamoto coughed and thought a bit harder. Then he coughed again.

"Mukuro…with him it's definitely possible, considering he's been through quite a bit of trauma as well. Yes, with him probably. But he's always been able to make illusions and he's always had superb control over his mind as well as others,' and it's not like he was in that experimenting place for too long…from what I heard he was only in there for a little bit as a bit of a newcomer before he destroyed everything and found Ken and Chikusa. And you know that that 'Kokuyo Gang' is inseparable. So…uhm…I guess that this all sums up to answer your question that yeah, maybe Mukuro?"

Yamamoto glanced at Gokudera anxiously. Gokudera nodded slowly.

"Mukuro's been through a lot. You can't blame him," he said, before falling silent and immobile again.

Yamamoto waited for a little bit before he quietly said, "No one's blaming you either, Gokudera. I definitely can't and won't judge you. How…how often have you, or do you think of committing suicide?" Yamamoto just knew that Gokudera would have thought about suicide, and seriously at that.

Gokudera got off the couch and moved to the small cot in the corner, laid flat on his back on it with his hands supporting his head, and stared up at the ceiling. He spoke in a robotic voice, the voice of one speaking of a topic that s/he was entirely too familiar with.

"When I found out about my mom, I just wanted to join her down the Cliff for a little while, but I don't count that one.…When I ran away I thought about it almost constantly, thinking about how I could just let myself freeze, just jump in front of a car, just stop fighting…Even after I met Tsuna. When I felt like a failure…just lit a bomb and it's so quick, so easy. The day always broke before I actually did anything during the night. And then I hadn't thought about it too seriously for a time until that Mafia Meeting a couple of years ago. I remember this much, I thought it would be great to be marked off as killed in action. Actually, I think I told you that somewhere along the line, then."

Gokudera glanced at Yamamoto to check if he remembered.

Yamamoto had felt a deep-rooted panic rising in him as he had listened to Gokudera's growing list. How could Gokudera be so calm while speaking about a topic like this? It seemed that he had almost lost Gokudera over a thousand times! Not really knowing what he was doing, Yamamoto just nodded as his mind furiously tried to process this brutal information in.

Gokudera, after receiving affirmation from Yamamoto, continued in that same calm (but seemingly horribly chilly to Yamamoto) voice of before.

"And that one time on New Year's Day when I was feeling like I hadn't achieved anything…actually I think I told you this too…You were with me then. But I don't count that one either. It was just a sudden impulse, an idle thought. Of course these days…"

Yamamoto suddenly cut Gokudera off.

"So for you, thoughts about killing yourself are just…just idle thoughts? Gokudera, how can you…that's not…you can't…and you…"

He stood up violently and proceeded towards Gokudera, who sort of sat up in something like surprise and alarm. Yamamoto sat down in front of Gokudera's cot.

"How much, how seriously, just…just tell me this. Have you been considering suicide recently? I mean _for real_, recently? Even after we settled the whole _incident_?"

Gokudera laid back down, bored. "First of all, do you think that just because it's all settled to you mean that it's actually settled, and second, is my name Gokudera Hayato?"

Yamamoto knew that it would be pointless to ask probing questions, and his mind was too frozen to think of any such questions anyway, so he just asked, "How?"

Gokudera just snorted. "I live right by what is one of the world's largest and most diverse weapons' storage and development centers. My bedroom alone holds enough firearms and explosives to be an arsenal. Even if all of these failed, if I had made up my mind, I could always just mix up the necessary drugs or just make a damn rope out of the curtains. And you're standing there asking me such a dumb question." Gokudera bitterly smirked before continuing. "Besides, it doesn't matter _how_ I do it as long as the result is that I'm _dead_."

Yamamoto flinched at each of the words Gokudera stressed. But he thought that he was beginning to understand just a tiny fraction.

"If you know that…if you think that," Yamamoto almost whispered, "then how is it that you're still alive? You said that you thought about it seriously."

Gokudera stared at the ceiling when he next spoke, but his voice was almost kind.

"People are conditioned beings, Takeshi. Growing up in the Mafia, going through what I did, conditioned me to tolerate pain and put honor over everything. Suicides only commit suicide mainly because of three major reasons, although, of course, there are exceptions - because they wish to achieve a greater purpose, because they were overwhelmed with passion, or because they were selfish."

Gokudera breathed in a breath, and paused. He spoke again.

"My suicide wouldn't achieve anything. It would make me less than nothing. So the first is out. I was conditioned to hide my emotions, and besides, I can never quite reach the turning point for reasons of my own, so the second doesn't work. I am incredibly selfish, more than anyone knows, but that means that I value my honor as well. Me committing suicide would bring the worst dishonor and slander to me, my name, and those connected to me. So the third and last reason is gone."

Gokudera shifted a little on the bed and sighed.

"Don't think I haven't tried. It's just that something always holds me back just enough and just when I'm about to say fuck it, it's the next day and everything starts all over again. I expect that one of these days, when it's least expected, I'll wake up peacefully and know that I've reached that turning point and that I'll finally be able to allow myself to do it."

Gokudera smiled an angelic smile, soft and sweet.

Yamamoto was still in shock. He numbly muttered, almost to himself, "Gokudera…You usually never even tell me the most basic things about yourself…why are you telling me something as deep as this alla sudden…?"

Gokudera laughed joyfully. "Oh this? What, do you wish that you didn't know this part of me now? Does it make see me in a different light, _Takeshi_?"

He laughed again. "It's real simple. I've been thinking about it for so long, it's been in my mind for such a long time, that it's a more comfortable topic to me than anything else. I don't like talking about little things because first, they bore me, and second, because I don't think about them, I'm not used to them. I expect that I think about suicide much the same way you used to think about baseball."

Yamamoto emerged from his stupor long enough to comment. "That's impossible…suicide and baseball are totally different things. It's not like that."

Gokudera shrugged. "I know you pretty well Yamamoto, but I don't know your mind perfectly. I couldn't think of anything else that you would brood about. Now don't ask. I expect you want to know why, if I'm so good with suicide, I didn't talk about it before. Well, do you think this is a topic for a nice dinner talk? I can tell you because I know it doesn't go anywhere after you. I suppose you're pleased at hearing that."

Gokudera laughed again, almost giggling.

After a few minutes, he finally settled down, snickered in disturbing mirth a few more times, and snuggled deeper into the cot he was lying on.

Yamamoto looking down at the floor, whispered, "No…it's like the way I feel about you, Gokudera."

That seemed to perk Gokudera's interest a little bit. "Is that so? Well, that explains something." Goudera sat up, and looking down at Yamamoto, smiled and said, "Takeshi, you can call me Hayato."

Yamamoto shook his head. "It's all right, Gokudera. You'll regret that decision later if I take it now. Besides, you know that that's not what I really want."

Gokudera smiled even more widely. "You're perfectly right."

**So, all that ends it! It's not exactly a cliffhanger, is it? Nah..it isn't.**

**Well, I'm going to keep writing for this story, so don't give up on Yamamoto and Gokudera just yet, people!**

**Thank you so much for reading, and now can you please review and give me some pointers and thoughts on what you think? Grazie! Ciao for now!**


	3. The Answer

**Hello, everyone! **

**I hope that you have liked the previous chapters in this story (and hopefully have reviewed to them). **

**Well, as I always say, thank you very much for reading my work, and if you have any suggestions or points on what I wrote or on how I should change the way that this story is going, please do not hesitate to share them with me. As long as I can see a certain logic behind your thoughts, I will take them into serious account.**

**Now, please enjoy this chapter! It's short (shorter than the other chapters), but it's a killer (or at least I think so). Hopefully you will feel the same once you read it.**

They stayed in silence, Gokudera quietly playing music in his head, Yamamoto numbly trying to jumpstart his heart. After thinking a great deal for a long while, processing everything Gokudera had said and trying hopelessly to figure out what it all meant with his weak mindset, Yamamoto zoned out in concentration as all great philosophers do.

Then, suddenly, he was filled with a desire, a desire which would thrash about him if he did not placate it, to ask Gokudera _the question_. (And no, for those of you who might get the wrong idea, the question is not 'will you marry me (?).')

Yamamoto knew that if he sat around trying to sum up the will to ask _the question_, he would never actually get around to doing it, so he blanked his mind and just did it as though he hadn't a care in the world. He had been waiting for the past several years, he couldn't wait anymore any more.

"Gokudera, do you love me?"

Gokudera sat up and spun around on the cot to look at Yamamoto, smiling the same angelic smile as before. He seemed to be almost delighted with being asked such a question.

That's what I like about being with you, Takeshi. You never bore me, with all your crazy antics. It's all a great challenge that I've grown to love."

With that, Gokudera laid back down as though he thought he had answered the question that had been thrown at him. Yamamoto didn't ask him again. He knew that if he waited, Gokudera would naturally lead him towards the general direction of the answer.

"You _know_ more about me than anyone else, but you don't really _understand_ more of me than the general populace out there," said Gokudera, lazily waving a hand towards the scenery rushing past outside the window. He let out a quick breath in irritation and boredom. The 'challenge' of Yamamoto was starting to get to him.

Huffily, he said, "Do you think that love is one of the topics of thought occupying my mind? I don't think about it much at all. When I asked you if you still loved me, I did that partly as an impulse and partly as an attempt at finding out something. My answer to your question is that I don't know, and I don't care."

After speaking, Gokudera laughed at his own words. "Yes, I know that I'm being incredibly immature and selfish, but that's just the way it is, or should I say, that's just the way I am. It shouldn't come as a surprise to you, and if it does, well, that says something, too."

Yamamoto didn't say anything in reply, but he halfway got up and knelt on the floor next to the cot that Gokudera was on so that their head were almost level. Somehow, that closer physical presence eased the ache in his chest ever so slightly.

Gokudera purposely didn't look at him. Staring at somewhere far, far away, he asked, "Do you… understand what I mean when I say that I don't know or care about love?" Gokudera sounded as though his voice came from the depths of a long-dead star in the shadows of space.

Yamamoto nodded. He had reached a conclusion in his mind with everything he knew about Gokudera, and he now felt like he _knew_. Everything made so much sense now. Or at least more than it used to.

Looking at the side of Gokudera's head, which was turned away from him, he haltingly said in a low voice, pausing lengthily between every sentence, "You don't care if people judge you or not and you don't need their pity, sympathy, jealousy, scorn, or any part of their emotions directed at you. You want empathy. You're the type of person who takes the truth as it is, whether it damns you or saves you. You want people, if nothing else, to understand you, to feel just a miniscule particle of what you might feel. You want to feel that your truth, your being, is known, if not appreciated. You…"

Yamamoto faltered when Gokudera sat up and got off the cot directly in front of him and knelt down. He let his unfinished sentence hang in the air and dropped his gaze downwards. Exactly why, even he couldn't tell for sure. It was something like shame, something like fear, something like wonder.

Through his peripheral vision, Yamamoto saw Gokudera's knees shuffle, inch towards him and felt careful but unwavering hands grip his sides and pull him in. He rose up his head to be looking over Gokudera's shoulder and to have wiry arms wrapped around him.

He closed his eyes again and etched the sensation, the feeling of being held, embraced by Gokudera, into his heart and mind. Somehow, he didn't cry as he would have done only a second before his realization of who Gokudera was. He couldn't bear to do anything to disturb this sacred moment, this impossible moment.

"I really appreciate that you have loved me and still continue to love me. I'm sorry for being selfish and demanding so much from you, even though I do it inadvertently, and also for underestimating you and not seeing what you are truly worth. Maybe for not being _able_ to see you for all the things that you are worth. Anyone would be blessed to have you and you would live a blessed life with anyone but me. You knew that, and you still chose me. That's indescribably brave of you and it's something that I can't even begin to understand. However, I do understand that even through your mixed feelings, it was still an immense sacrifice for you to give up the chance to call me by my first name like you've always wanted to, and I admire you for considering me and what I would feel….And…You should know that when I was being tortured, away from you, I used the memories of you in my mind, the memory of being so… selfless, to get through the worst times and not be broken. You should know that you keep me alive."

Gokudera let go and gently backed away to about a meter off, meting and holding eyes with Yamamoto's. Yamamoto sat there, filled with a certain energy and magic flashing through his system. Gokudera was just…he was…he, everything, was amazing.

Part of Yamamoto wanted to stay like that, feeling like that, forever. But another part of him, a more needy part, caused him to break the peace. Before even five minutes had passed, he asked again.

"Do you love me?"

Yamamoto found that he was able to ask the question shamelessly without breaking eye contact first. He knew that Gokudera would have been thinking, would have thought of love and would have a reply, or at least an idea for him now, although he hadn't only a few minutes ago.

Almost immediately came the answer, that wondrous answer: "Yes."

**Well, well, so Gokudera has gone through some major changes of his own, and Yamamoto has finally achieved something and have it confirmed to boot. Are any of you surprised, or were you expecting that last line? I didn't know that Gokudera was going to say that until the very instant that that last line came to me.**

**(Gokudera still doesn't actually love, love Yammoto, by the way.)**

**Now, I mean what I did when I rated this story as 'friendship and hurt/comfort' so my story will not be warping into yaoi/ boys's love/ whatever-it-is-called, but will still be a 'more-than-friendship,' or a 'friendship-with-benefits' type of story and theme. **

**Now ****that**** hasn't and will not ever change, unlike Gokudera's and Yamamoto's forever fluctuating relationship. But don't worry, everyone is going to turn out alright. I can't bear reading depressing endings so I can't really write them either.**

**HOWEVER, things (the Gokudera and Yamamoto relationship in particular), will be changing quite a bit. But it's definitely not going to get any more angsty and mental from here on. I mean what I wrote in my summary-thing as well. (Remember that the last line in my summary-thing is 'Let there be peace." I mean it, too.) **

**Do you know the campaign to stop homosexual suicide, "It Gets Better"? Well, yeah, **_**it gets better**_** (their relationship, I mean). **

**Please, I'll stop rambling over you and taking up your oh-so-precious time now, so will you review? I do so enjoy reading a nice, helpful review. **

**But if you decide not to just to rile me, well, I won't (because I can't) sue you...**


	4. What You Say?

**Hey, all. Hope that you have liked the previous chapters (and of course, the ****prequel**** to this story, which is "****What they were, What they are****," if you didn't already know.) **

**I was informed in a review that I basically leaned too much on the 'Hurt' side of my 'Hurt/ Comfort' rating of this story, so I will be attempting to change that, as you might have told from the last line on the last chapter. **

**This chapter will definitely be moving upwards, as in positively, for those of you who enjoy such happy things.**

**This story and relationship is still 'friendship-with-benefits,' or 'more-than-friendship-but-still-friendship,' by the way (Although I have already informed you of this previously). **

**However, there will be a lot more of the 'benefit' and 'more-than' parts of friendship here than just boring old friendship, for those of you who like such romantic things. **

**(I seem to be writing a lot of things for a lot of people, don't I?)**

**It's still not exactly love love, though, but it's as close to it as it can be in a situation/ relationship like this with people like this. So…basically what I'm saying is, if you want to consider it love love, I've written it so that it's not hard to do so.**

**(I'm trying to placate and please everyone, you see. It's actually sort of working.)**

**Well, at any rate, hope you like this chapter!**

Yamamoto didn't respond to what Gokudera said right away. He wasn't exactly sure what he felt. Actually, that was a major understatement…He had no freaking clue. At all.

Part of him just didn't believe what Gokudera said because even though he had almost expecting Gokudera's feelings on love to change, he wasn't prepared for the change. Gokudera had never explicitly told him that he _didn't_ like him, but he had never so much as affirmed that he _did_ like him, let alone _love_ him.

Gokudera didn't have the sly and cunning reputation that he had and wasn't known as the 'Master Manipulator of Mafia' for nothing.

Gokudera could make anyone, absolutely anyone he chose, think or do anything, even the seemingly unthinkable, when he wanted to. It was even said (and commonly known to be true.) that Gokudera's natural skills at hiding his true emotions and motives was so impossibly good that even the famed and piercing hyper intuition of the Vongola Tenth, Sawada Tsunayoshi, couldn't see through it at times.

It was indeed, a thankful thing for the Vongola and indeed the whole Mafia, that there was not, and would never be, another such as Gokudera Hayato. If there were, and he or she went in cahoots with Gokudera, not even Reborn, or even god, could have stopped them.

Yamamoto knew from experience how nastily effective Gokudera was at controlling others. (Read chapter 3 "Mafia Meeting: adult life" in my other story and prequel, "What they were, What they are" to learn about this experience.)

But another part of him knew for sure that Gokudera wasn't, and wouldn't ever, deceive him about something like this. A - what seemed to be - an eternity ago, Gokudera had 'confided' in him about his undecided and ambiguous stance on love. The Storm had implied that he wasn't capable of love, but it was clear that he had a deep respect for love. And even besides that, wasn't Gokudera the guy who always idolized truth, even as he kept more secrets than anyone else? He felt ashamed, in a way, for doubting what Gokudera had said. He should trust him if he expected to be trusted.

After having been bold enough once to break the peaceful/ powerful silence that seemed often to be between them, Yamamoto felt like his bravery and recklessness had been depleted, but he also felt that it would be incredible rude, not to mention fantastically awkward, if he remained silent and didn't reply. Only god knew what Gokudera might think and how he would take being 'rejected' (in a sense, but not really).

Also, Yamamoto felt that if he didn't say anything, or didn't reply soon enough, Gokudera would no doubt never so much as look in his direction again for embarrassment and resentment (Gokudera could ignore and be amazingly unobservant of people whom he chose not to associate himself with.) and that that would be the end, the death, of whatever remaining salvaged pieces of relationship that they still had. And god knew that he couldn't, wouldn't, let that happen.

All of these pained and complicated thoughts lightly touched and then flashed through Yamamoto's head faster than the final escaping light emitted from a star exploding at god's ultimate ordering word. But as fast as his head was racing, the thoughts seemed to turn old and wise as they traveled through his mind.

Then, all of a sudden, just as Yamamoto was going to forget everything for a startlingly golden moment and speak his mind, the developing thoughts disappeared down a black hole quicker than quicksilver, leaving Yamamoto's head more empty than a vacuum and more echoic than an undiscovered cave.

(For those of you who did not realize, I use the term 'vacuum' in the scientific sense, not the dust-buster sense. 'Vacuum,' scientifically, means a contained space where there is absolutely nothing, not even air.)

Yamamoto was left speechless, his mouth tightly closed.

Fortunately all this, all these thoughts had taken only a fraction of a single minute, so there were still no worries about Gokudera getting the wrong impression.

Yamamoto looked at Gokudera, really looked and read the face of the person in front of him, and figured out something which he should have known.

Gokudera was looking off and away somewhere, but not into the distance. He looked as though he was staring at the patch of air directly in front of him and was being entertained by something which only he could understand.

Yamamoto knew, then, that Gokudera didn't expect, had never expected, didn't need, and even didn't want an answer or a reply to what he had said. He looked at Gokudera, not in wonder and awe as he usually did, or even in longing and hopefulness, but in trust and camaraderie.

A good ten minutes passed in peace, Gokudera still looking interestedly at that patch of air, and Yamamoto still zoning out in concentration. There was nothing to say, and yet there was also a need for a good, heart-to-heart conversation.

Gokudera was the brave one to initiate what would be the last major turning point in their relationship.

Still dreamily gazing at that patch of air, and smiling the first genuine smile that he had smiled literally in a month (It had been a couple of months since he and Yamamoto had returned to Vongola Headquarters.), he lightly chuckled and said, "So this is another mission successfully completed. You and I are as compatible as ever, it seems."

The thought of having done a good job on his assignment for his boss and friend, Tsuna, perked Gokudera up a little despite everything and through it all.

Yamamoto couldn't help but reciprocate and mirror a smile of hs own on his own face at the such typical Gokudera-like behavior that the silver-haired Storm in front of him was displaying.

Hoping that Gokudera wouldn't think that he was going too far, he sort of happily sighed, "You and I, we are complementary to each other."

(For those of you who do not know what the world 'complementary' means, it means "to come together to make up a satisfactory or balanced whole, or to join together to be perfected". I'm explaining this because I'm playing with words and the meaning matters to fully understand the context and conversation here.)

Gokudera increased his smile just a little bit at Yamamoto's word choice.

"You were good at the Devili conference, what with arguing your point and explaining your stance on things, but when you're not being all official, or I don't know, at least when you're being casual with me, you still say the sappiest things sometimes."

Yamamoto's thoughtful smile turned into his usual automatic grin.

In a clearly joking tone, "I thought you were the type to take the truth whether it damns you or saves you," Yamamoto said.

"Yeah, doesn't mean I like it. Besides, what you're implying isn't true anyways."

"Oh? And why ever not? And just what _was_ I implying, then?"

"You were suggesting that we as a combination, although you would probably think _couple_," (here Gokudera mischievously grinned and rolled his eyes), "are some sort of glorious, impenetrable concentration of perfection."

Yamamoto, purposely acting silly for Gokudera's benefit, childishly pouted and stuck out his bottom lip in an exaggerated gesture, making Gokudera roll his eyes skywards again as if to ask for divine help against idiots.

"I'm not obnoxiously clueless like you," Gokudera said under his breath, almost as an afterthought.

Yamamoto, when he had heard this, paused for a moment, and then without warning, burst into a round of loud, rambunctious laughter, making Gokudera jump.

"What the hell?" he sputtered, looking at Yamamoto with a 'why-is-he-acting-like-that-?-It's-weird' expression on his face.

Seeing Gokudera's reaction only made Yamamoto laugh harder.

"Are you going into hysterics or something?...Don't answer that. I don't even _want_ to know," Gokudera said in a voice that clearly questioned Yamamoto's sanity.

Seeing Gokudera hastily move away from him to crack open a book and bury his face in it made Yamamoto only laugh even harder than before.

* * *

The next day, they went together to report to Tsuna what had happened during the Devili meeting and what the results were. Knocking, and receiving permission, they entered Tsuna's office during Work Period B.

Tsuna had been expecting them, as Gokudera had informed him that he and Yamamoto would be reporting during this Period. "Oh, you came, Gokudera and Yamamoto. So I assume that everything went well?" he said, smiling in confidence at his two best working Guardians.

"Of course, Juudaime. I sort of freaked out at something that the Devili boss said, but fortunately Yamamoto covered for me and they agreed, in the end, to terminate their drug dealing, torturing, and human trafficking alliance with the Chiareve, Alberia, and Tuscini Families." (More Mafia Family names that I just randomly made up.)

Yamamoto nodded his agreement with what Gokudera had said. "Yeah, Tsuna. We told them that we would be dealing with the other families in that alliance to excuse the Devili's sudden out of the deal, and that we would notify the Vindice accordingly for them. So we'll be needing to do that."

Tsuna frowned at hearing that he would have to notify Vindice in the notorious Vindicare Prison, but he had been expecting that he would have to do such a thing, so he didn't comment. He was pleased that everything had gone well, though. He had been worrying that he had made a bad decision in forcing Gokudera and Yamamoto to be working in close quarters together, but it seemed that they were okay.

Gokudera spoke up. "Will you be wanting an official written report from us, Juudaime? There's not that many formalities involved in this mission, but I can still write one up for you if you like."

Tsuna beamed at Gokudera's offer. "Nah, it's okay Gokudera. Besides, even if you are okay with writing one, because you're so good at writing up reports, Yamamoto will have to write a report if you do, and I doubt that he wants to do that."

Yamamoto sheepishly smiled and scratched the back of his head, but it was no secret in the whole of Vongola that he was among the worst of the Guardians at writing up reports, so he couldn't say anything.

"Any more questions, Juudaime?" Gokudera asked, clearly wanting to pull this meeting to a close.

Tsuna shook his head. "Nah, you both did a great job. I knew that I could trust you guys to achieve the seemingly impossible! You guys are awesome, and I have no more words to say about this mission."

Gokudera humbly smiled, and got up, Yamamoto following his lead. They had just opened the door and put one step over the threshold when Tsuna exclaimed, "Ah!"

Turning, they looked quizzically at Tsuna. Tsuna was holding and looking at one of the various papers arranged on his desk. "Ah, Gokudera!" Tsuna called after them.

Gokudera stepped back in the office.

"Gokudera, I almost forgot to ask, can you inform the Varia of this?" asked Tsuna, holding out the paper for Gokudera to see.

Gokudera took and glanced over the paper. "So you want me to tell the Varia to clear up the drug dealers and human traffickers in the Chiareve, Alberia, and Tuscini Families?"

Tsuna grimly nodded. "Yes. What those Families are doing is absolutely despicable and they need to be dealt with, preferably sooner than later. I'm surprised that Vindice hasn't done much yet, actually, although I guess that those Families aren't exactly breaking Mafia law. And you know that Xanxus doesn't take too kindly at hearing from me and as psycho as the whole entire Varia can be, it's always better and safer to tell them of missions in person."

Gokudera nodded. "Duly noted, Tenth. You can send them a text or fax or something that I'll be going over in Period D."

After getting a happy and relieved nod from Tsuna, they both headed out in their different ways; Yamamoto to his Rain office, Gokudera to his Storm office.

While on his way to his office, Gokudera passed by the private Vongola common room (which was strictly reserved for only the Vongola Tenth and his immediate Guardians), only to be detained from his destination by a certain Lightning Guardian.

"Gokudera! Stop for a second! Let's…let's talk!" said Lambo hurriedly, sounding rather harried.

Gokudera wasn't exactly the type of person who liked to stop for idle chit chat, but he had always made little weird exceptions with Lambo, so he stepped in the Vongola common room, closed the door firmly, and walked over to Lambo, who was perched on the edge of a leather couch. All of the Guardians besides Yamamoto were huddled there.

Even Hibari, who hated on crowds, was there. Gokudera knew then, that something was up.

"Yeah, Lambo? Hey all." Gokudera said in a purposefully casual tone, sitting opposite Lambo on the matching ottoman that came with the couch.

Lambo coughed, looking around the room for support nervously and finally said "Since you came back after your absence of almost four months, you still haven't told us and we still don't know exactly how you and Yamamoto were taken or what happened between you two. All we know, and all you're told us, was that you two were captured by this Mafia Family. I'll admit, we tried to get it out of Tsuna, but he refused to tell. We've been patient, and we've tried to understand, but it's going too far and you're seriously pushing it. You can't do something like this, not tell us, and keep us in the dark while expecting us to be quiet about it," he concluded defensively.

Gokudera looked more than just a bit disgruntled at what was being said to him, making Lambo cringe.

"The fact that Tsuna has been true to his word to keep this matter private despite being hassled by you insensitive lot means that you all could learn something from him," he coldly stated, sweeping his chilly look across the room at all the Guardians present.

The sharp intensity of his gaze made everyone feel uncomfortable and somewhat ashamed. Lambo positively looked like he wanted to beg Gokudera for forgiveness.

Bitterly laughing in disgust, Gokudera continued, "Seized the first chance to gossip about me behind my back while I was off the base, did you? I tell you, you all make the absolute _greatest_ use of your time when there's no one supervising you."

Now _that _made everyone look down and avoid eye contact with Gokudera.

Ryohei finally said, gruffly, "Maybe we were wrong and even cowardly for asking Tsuna and doing something like this, practically ganging up on you, but Lambo's sort of right, Gokudera. You're always the one who says that the Guardians should stick together. Well, all this mess is dividing us. None of us know what to think."

Gokudera scoffed. "Don't you dare twist my words to your own advantage. Think about it sensibly and actually use your head. All of you. You know that we were captured. What do you think that means? Why would I keep something as big as this matter quiet if not for some serious reason?"

Chrome spoke up quietly from her spot beside Mukuro. "If it's for a serious reason, all the more reason for us to know about it, Gokudera. We can help you and we are willing to offer you our help and support. Being captured is no small deal, and there are so many factors to something like that."

Hearing Chrome's words, Gokudera sighed. He knew that he shouldn't be so mad at the Guardians. Even if they were going about it the wrong way, they meant well.

"I suppose that I should appreciate how you all were considerate enough to wait this long. I think we all know that if I was in your position, I wouldn't have lasted a day without succumbing to the temptation to drag or coax it all out," Gokudera grudgingly admitted.

Everyone lifted their heads a little in relief, and cracked a small smile at what Gokudera had said. Gokudera wouldn't have waited or even wasted a second, they knew.

"_However_," Gokudera turned serious again. "I think that we also agree that I wouldn't be ganging up on anyone _like this_."

There was another awkward silence. This time, it was Hibari, who was getting frustrated with the lack of results, who stepped in.

"The whole of Mafia knows how _you_ would go about it. You play with people's minds and trick and manipulate them in such a way that you get the information you want without your _victim_ even knowing that he gave anything away. If you ask me, that's even _worse_ than using those fucked-up _illusions_, and certainly worse than what _we're_ doing. At least we're out, straight, and open about it."

Mukuro shot out, "Oi, Kyoya. Watch it with what you're saying about illusions," at Hibari before saying his own piece to Gokudera.

"But Kyoya's partially right, Gokudera Hayato. We're being honest with you in our desire to know what happened. And whereas you go about a rather sly way to find things out, the rest of us do not have that talent, and even if we did, if probably wouldn't work against you anyways. We're not _forcing_ you to do anything. We're _asking_ you to tell us. It's a _choice_."

The other Guardians murmured their assent and unified approval to what Mukuro had so eloquently said, some muttering, "Here, here."

Gokudera was immobile for a second, perhaps shocked at this turn of events, then suddenly, he gritted his teeth and angrily got up to leave in a swift motion. At Gokudera's movement, all the Guardians reacted instantaneously.

Hibari whipped out his tonfas, Mukuro gripped his trident, Ryohei went into his boxing stance, Lambo charged up his electricity, and Chrome, (because Mukuro had the trident) grabbed the nearest object, a table lamp, off a nearby cabinet. They all stood at the ready to stop Gokudera from going anywhere.

Gokudera laughed in disbelief and in a bit of amused amazement. "It's a _choice_, huh? Yeah, _definitely_. I _totally_ see what you mean, Mukuro." He laughed and sat back down.

The Guardians realized that Gokudera, the trickster and manipulator, had tested them, tricked them into acting in the way that they had.

Hibari angrily slammed and broke the nearby cabinet, Mukuro stabbed at the patch of carpet in front of him rather sheepishly, Ryohei slapped his forehead and face-palmed, Lambo flushed in embarrassment and sank to his knees, and Chrome was left with a heavy blush, still standing with her weapon of choice, the table lamp, because Hibari had broken the cabinet from which it came from.

When Gokudera was quite done being amused at the other Guardians' actions, he said, kindly, "Really Chrome? A table lamp?" before prying it out of her hands and setting it on the floor next to him, making Chrome blush an even deeper hue. Then he coughed and spoke again.

"Well, it seems like you all refuse to let me be at peace. I have a mission to Varia coming up in Period D, so I suppose that I could just go over there, but then I also suppose that you guys won't let me leave even if it's for a mission. So, I'll tell you the basic things you ought to know about the capture to understand the changes that Yamamoto and I went through and why we've been acting differently. You say yes?"

The Guardians mutely nodded. They had accepted that this was as much as they were going to get from their secretive Storm Guardian.

"I was out around the city with Yamamoto when snipers got us with these sedative darts when we obviously weren't expecting it. That's how we were captured. After that, we were held in the headquarter prison cells of this Mafia Family, which was underground both literally and figuratively. They wanted to know information about Vongola, specifically where the secret base was located, because they wanted to rise up in the Mafia ranks. Of course, we refused to tell, so that's mainly the reason why we were gone for so long."

There was a pause as the other Guardians chewed and digested this information.

Then Lambo, with a trembling voice, asked, "I don't know if the others know this, or were wondering about this, but why…were you in such a… horrible condition when you came back? I stole the hospital records from Shamal's office and looked at them and while Yamamoto was basically untouched and looked it, you were hurt all over… and you looked so…so… beat. Why…why the difference? You both were captured by the same people and held in the same place, weren't you?"

Gokudera closed his eyes. Then he opened them and said, "I'm not going to lie. I really wish you hadn't asked me that question. I was purposely trying to act like I was okay but I guess you noticed anyway. I suppose I should commend you for being so observant, Lambo. From the expressions on everyone else, it seems that this comes as a surprise to you."

And indeed, all of the other Guardians were staring at Gokudera in a totally new light. They hadn't known that Gokudera had suffered far, far worse than Yamamoto.

Gokudera blinked, hard. "Like I said, they wanted information and we refused to tell them. What do you think why? It doesn't take a genius to figure it out. Torture, of course."

Everyone stared at Gokudera in a _completely_ different light. At various times, in various tones of shock and alarm, they all said, "What! Torture?"

Gokudera continued. "Yeah, what else? And why are you surprised? This is the Mafia, not a preschool picnic. Like you, or at least Mukuro said, most people do not have my sort of ability to trick and pry things out of people, although technically my way could be considered a sort of mental torture. Of course they used physical torture. And if you know anything about torture systems, you would know that they usually keep sticking it with the one person who seems to have more information. They knew that Yamamoto and I were the Rain and Storm Guardians respectively, but they also knew that I was the right-hand as well, you see….Well, that answers your question, Lambo. Of course, there's more to the whole situation as that, like about Yamamoto's and my relationship, but about that, all I will and can tell you is that we almost broke it off completely, but that we're starting all over."

Lambo just stared at the floor, unable to look at Gokudera. "I'm…I'm so sorry. For what happened, and for asking you to tell such…information as this. You were right; I should have known that there was a serious reason for why you didn't tell us before and it was wrong for me, all of us, to make such stupid assumptions about you. I should have realized that your being captured was a sensitive matter."

Lambo looked up, but he still didn't look at Gokudera. He looked at the other Guardians and made a pledge. "This information won't go outside this common room. I promise."

The other Guardians, again, murmured their assent and muttered that they promised to not ever tell anyone else and that the 'information' would not go outside the room.

Gokudera didn't say anything for a while. He was trying to tell if the Guardians were serious this time around. When he noticed that all the Guardians were avoiding his eye-contact and that some were tapping their fingers or wringing their hands like they had suddenly gotten ADHD, he knew that it wasn't over. But he didn't want to, and he couldn't deal with it right then, so he just said "So that's that. If you would all please stop staring at me like I just confessed my deepest secret. I was only stating what happened, and I'm getting past it all anyways. I would like to say that…"

Just then, the door banged open and Yamamoto poked his head in and said loudly and rather cheerfully, "Hey guys, what's up? Wow, everyone's in here! What a coincidence! Hey, just the guy that I was looking for! Gokudera, I want to ask you a favor!"

Everyone, including Gokudera, jumped, but of course, Gokudera recovered quickly. "Oh, it's you. What's the favor?" he said, as though he hadn't just been talking about how he was brutally tortured and held against his will.

"You're going over to the Varia place right? Well, can you tell Squalo that since I've come back, I've been practicing really hard with my sword every day? Empathize 'really hard,' and 'every day.' He almost killed me, actually he tried to kill me, when he found out that I hadn't so much as moved my ass for four months while we were…erm…you know, away…erm…captured," said Yamamoto, glancing at the other Guardians.

Yamamoto, of course, didn't know that Gokudera had just told the other Guardians of the circumstances of their capture. He continued. "Tell him that I'm going over to the Training Center right now to practice in Room #17, and that I still watch his 'Sword Emperor' DVD and Blu-ray series every once in a while, won't you?"

"Why dontcha just tell him yourself? It's not that hard to just ring him up," said Gokudera, who thought that passing messages for other people was a bother.

Yamamoto, predictably, laughed. "I told you! Since he found out that I didn't so much as touch the sword for four months straight, every time I try to so much as call him, he does his very best, and I mean the _very best_, to blow my eardrums out. He doesn't give a shit that I couldn't practice the sword because I was captured. I mean, come on, it's _Squalo_ we're talking about."

Gokudera said, "Yeah, yeah, sure. I'll track him down and make sure he gets it that you're working your ass off." He looked at his watch. "Talking about Varia, it's almost time for me to start heading over there. Anyone else have anything they want me to say to Varia that they're too scared to just say themselves?"

Yamamoto laughed. "C'mon Gokudera! That's mean! I'm not scared to tell him! He won't listen to me! But anyways, I like your suggestion, although you don't really mean it." Looking at the others, he said, "We haven't met with the Varia in quite a while. You guys should all leave a message for Gokudera to carry over to make the Varia feel remembered _and _to annoy Gokudera!"

(The Varia Headquarters were a little bit separate from the Vongola base, because they were the _Independent_ Assassination group and also because they were wacked-up psychos who were a bad influence at times and who liked to cause trouble. Also, since they worked independently, they needed a different base anyways.)

"Fuck you, Takeshi. Why do you enjoy aggravating me so much?" said Gokudera, but inside, he was glad that Yamamoto had made the atmosphere in the room casual and normal again with his presence.

Lambo spoke up and started the chain of 'Messages-to-pass-on-to-Varia,' mostly because he felt like he needed to make the situation feel better for Gokudera.

"Uhm…Tell Leviathan that since I've been trying this new technique, I've managed to up my voltage some, and that I wonder if he has as well."

Gokudera nodded. "Anyone else?" the Storm asked.

Chrome spoke up. "Tell Fran that I hope he's doing okay," she put in.

Mukuro scoffed. "Chrome, you are entirely too soft with that imbecile. No. Tell that useless disciple of mine that he'd better have been practicing his Class V illusions because the last time I saw his 'V' illusions, they were _absolutely_ terrible. And I mean _absolutely terrible_. Also, tell him that he'd better not be slacking off his training practice to be fooling around with that _Bel_."

Gokudera didn't bother to hide his smile at what Mukuro said. Mukuro always insulted his 'disciple' at every chance he got, but everyone could see that the 'teacher-student' relationship between them was strong.

Ryohei gruffly said, "Say to Lussueria that I wouldn't mind training with him as long as he changes his god-awful, eye-sore, colorful hairstyle. It distracts me."

Gokudera didn't comment, but he nodded. Politely, he said, trying not to smile, "Hibari, you got anything to say to the new version of Gola Mosca?"

Hibari looked up and scoffed. "Who talks to a machine? It's fucking useless!"

Yamamoto, who had been listening in to all of the comments, exclaimed, "Hibari! That's not nice! I mean it _is_ a machine, but still!"

Gokudera rolled his eyes and looked at his watch again. "Alright, it's time for me to go. I'll pass on your messages to the best of my ability and memory, but no promises. Ciao."

Gokudera left the common room and walked down the hallway to take the shuttle to Varia. Just as he was about to open the shuttle door, he heard Mukuro fervently shouting at him from the common room.

"I _MEAN_ IT! YOU'D BETTER TELL THAT _USELESS, LAZY __FROG_ THAT IF HE'S BEEN _SLACKING OFF_ BEING WITH _THAT BEL_, I'M GOING TO DRAG HIM THROUGH HELL! _AGAIN_!"

Gokudera rolled his eyes at Mukuro and joyfully listened to the sounds of the purple-haired illusionist being soundly beaten by Hibari for being too loud while being so close to him.

He rolled his eyes again for good measure and opened the shuttle door. He got in, but just before he closed the door, another loud voice belonging to Yamamoto called after him.

"DON'T FORGET TO TELL SQUALO, GOKUDERA! HE _WILL KILL_ ME IF YOU DON'T!"

Gokudera shut the shuttle door irritably at being so ordered around, and was rescued from a batch of loonies (a.k.a. the Vongola Guardians) to be thrown at a batch of psychos (a.k.a. Independent Assassination Group, Varia).

**Well, hope you liked this chapter! **

**Okay, so I sort of lied when I told you that ****this chapter**** was going to be more, erm, romantic than the others. I meant that this ****whole story**** will go on a general upwards curve, not ****this chapter**** in itself****.**

**Anyways, you all can probably guess that Gokudera will be dealing with some Varia. But don't worry. The Varia are all cool and alright. I love them.**

**I'm going to make the whole thing with Varia pretty short, or at the very least, not dragging, and then focus on Gokudera's and Yamamoto's relationship.**

**I've been thinking. I'm going to make this relationship move in a more romantic direction. **

**Please ****Review**** and tell me your thoughts!**


	5. Saving Honor

**Hey, everyone!**

**Like you were already told in my last chapter, there will be Varia showing up here, but I'm also going to put more focus on my pairing, Gokudera and Yamamoto.**

**I'm going to write the Varia just as they actually are (no Out of Character-ness, is what I mean), but a little more realistically. Here is what I mean.**

**My whole story is set in a time period roughly between five to ten years from what the actual manga is set in, so everyone is more mature. Including Varia. However… much of the psycho-ness of Varia still remains. All the way Varia!**

**The first part is a bit boring, but I had to include it to make the story flow smoothly. I have, however, worked harder on the last parts, although they are sort of only a repetition and a continuing of what has already happened. **

**I really would jump on to happy things, but I'm trying to make this story go somewhat realistically (or at least less unbelievable) and things like this just don't go away ever.**

**Now, without further ado, Let's go! Andiamo!**

As Gokudera stepped outside the shuttle after a short ride filled with beautiful (but traps-and-mine-laiden) scenery, he found himself on the other side of the wide and lengthy Vongola base campus at Varia HQ.

The instant he got off, a man standing nearby smoothly came over to offer his assistance. "Would you want to meet with the Varia boss, Xanxus, sir?"

Gokudera gave the assistant an appraising look and then an approving smile. Varia obviously had the best servants with the best manners and sense. Thinking that it was a pity how the Varia people were loyal to Varia over Vongola, he said, "Yes. Can you find out for me where he might be?"

The assistant nodded. "A moment, sir." He smartly pulled out his Varia mobile phone and made a call. "Location of Xanxus….Just came from his office to where? The common room?"

He turned to Gokudera and made a polite nod again. "Boss Xanxus is with the rest of the Varia members in the common room between the weapons' arsenal and the library. Will you need assistance in getting to your desired destination, sir?" he asked, sounding so much like a car navigation device that Gokudera had to suppress a grin.

"No, but thank you," said Gokudera as he strolled over to the main Varia building. It was nice to be at Varia where everything was perfection and violence. So clear and simple.

Going down the long hallway leading to the common room, he could already pick up on some of the more noticeable voices.

"Ushishishi! Someone's coming~ D'you suppose that it's that bomb-brat of Vongola's or some other poor fuck who took the wrong turn in this maze of a headquarters?" snickered Belphegor, who seemed to be excited at the prospect of Gokudera coming over.

"Voooooiii! Shut the hell up, Bel!," yelled Squalo in his typically loud voice. "I've been bored as fuck lately being cooped up here and if it's that Vongola Storm-scum, he's probably here to tell us about a mission that I don't want to miss! You'd better not kill him before we get the mission, hear me?"

Gokudera had a wide smile on his face by the time that he reached the open doorway to the common room. Poking just his head in, he immediately pulled back to dodge the knives that Belphegor hurled at him with relative ease, as he had been expecting them.

Every time he came over to Varia, Belphegor threw knives at him without exception when he first arrived. It was sort of an inside joke between them, although what the punch line was, even Gokudera didn't know. The knives that Belphegor had thrown at him imbedded completely within the hallway wall. Yup, that was some joke right there.

"I'm not coming in until someone deals with that psycho self-proclaimed _prince_ of yours, and until then, I guess that a certain someone, who _only_ happens to be your impatient second-in-command, will have to suffer in boredom!"Gokudera threatened.

Squalo immediately drew his sword and placed Belphegor at the sharp point while fixing Fran with a murderous glare. "Fran, you'd better restrain him or I'll be taking out my blood lust on _you_! And believe me, I get _creative_ when I'm bored…(murderous aura)"

Fran nervously pulled at Bel's sleeve and said, "Bel-sempai, as much as you are bored right now, if you just be patient for a bit, you'll be able to have so much more fun with more people later if you just wait until we get the mission. So just sit tight, alright?"

Bel huffed. He had been about insult Gokudera back by saying that he was just a self-proclaimed right-hand-man, but then he had remembered that Gokudera had actually been the right-hand for the past several years. (No one, not even Varia, dared to use the fact that Gokudera was illegitimate against him, partly because of Xanxus.) He resorted to pouting and slumping down on the couch, trying to keep his pride.

Grinning, Gokudera came in. Trying not to laugh at Xanxus' face, which was growing red from containing his anger thus far, he bowed politely to the Varia boss and smiled at the other Varia members. They were such an interesting and entertaining group.

"Yes indeed, I do have a mission," Gokudera happily told them, while handing a file to Xanxus. "The Vongola has been having trouble with containing the activities of the Chiareve, Alberia, and Tuscini Families, and needs your help in taking 'care' of them."

Xanxus glanced at the file for a whole entire minute. "So we're supposed to do exactly what with who?" he growled impatiently after only staring at the papers.

"It's a bit of a large scale project," said Gokudera, sitting on the arm of Xanxus' armchair (which surprisingly, Xanxus tolerated. Yup, the Varia were _that_ desperate to get some killing going on.). "There are these elite agents of those Families, about five to six hundred people in total, who are engaging in secretive underground activities such as drug-dealing and human trafficking. Tsuna didn't exactly say what he wanted done with them, but he said something like they needed to be 'dealt with,' which is his way of saying that they should be killed off. Any way to go about this is fine, as long as there are no traces left behind, but you know this."

The Varia all sadistically grinned at the news that Gokudera had brought them. They were already imagining the very worst, most painful, and longest time-consuming and torturous way to go about 'dealing with' those hundreds of people. Gokudera was now suddenly their all-time favorite person.

Standing up from his spot on the armchair where Xanxus was now getting very dangerously irritated by his presence, he said, standing and addressing all of them, "I, unfortunately, have been selected as fucking _messenger _by the Vongola people, so I have a few things to say to all of you that the others told me to say."

(to Xanxus) "Tsuna sends you his regards, wonders if there is anything you need at Varia HQ, and says that he hopes that no one will…"

Xanxus growled, "Get hurt in the mission, yeah, yeah, I know, trash. He says that every single fucking time and nothing has ever happened." Gokudera grinned, having expected this sort of hateful appreciation from Xanxus towards Tsuna.

Xanxus still sort of disliked Tsuna for being Vongola boss instead of him, but he also had acknowledged that he was a better Varia boss than he would ever have been Vongola boss. Besides, if he was Vongola boss, then what would Tsuna be? Varia boss? Even the very thought was impossible. Tsuna wouldn't make it past an hour (make that a minute) with the insane fuckers that he _lived_ with day after day. And that was a truth that even Gokudera acknowledged.

(to Squalo) "You've been giving Yamamoto a hard time haven't you? Please keep it up, it's so entertaining to see him trying to deal with you and failing. Anyways, he says that he's been watching your "Sword Emperor" series, although I don't believe him, and that he's been training every day since he came back, although I don't really believe that either. He has a tendency to exaggerate everything, you know…oh yeah, and he wanted you to know that he's at Training Room #17 right now."

"What?" Squalo practically bellowed in Gokudera's face, making the Storm flinch at the sonar assault. "Voooiii! Why didn't you tell me before, you flaming scum?" he screamed as he rushed over to where Yamamoto was so fast than even Xanxus didn't have time to yell at him for being so fucking obnoxiously loud.

Gokudera just stared at the place where Squalo had been a second ago before breaking out into a delighted smile. Were all sword-freaks as one-track minded as the ones he knew? When he was done shaking his head at the cloud of dust that was left behind Squalo, he continued with his messages.

(to Lussuria) "Ryohei says that he would like to fight you or some other thing but only if you change that shitty hairstyle of yours."

Lussuria pouted and whined, "There's nothing wrong with my hairstyle!~" Gokudera just retorted, "Have you looked in a mirror recently?" No additional words were needed.

(to Leviathan) "Apparently that idiot in the cow-suit says that he's upped his electricity level by doing this new technique of his, but unless the technique consists of him sitting on his ass on the couch and gathering static electricity from the TV screen, I can't imagine what it could be as he hasn't so much as stepped foot in the Training Center this past week. Anyway, he wants to know if you've improved." Levi just grunted. Whatever.

(to Fran) Heh. Mukuro…let's put it this way. He simply just doesn't care too much for your love life with your 'Bel-Sempai.' Oh, and he also says that you're a frog or summat and that your 'B' or "T" or class something illusions are awful. And actually, I lied about what Mukuro feels about you and Bel. He really hates it to the point where he said that he was going to take you to hell, again, if you keep fooling around with him."

Fran huffed angrily. "Tell that cracked up, delusional, wannabe, supposed _master_ of mine, that if I'm a frog, then he's a….a…pineapple, which, for your information, is _worse_! Also, that my illusions, regardless of what class, are at about the same level as his, so he can just shut up. And, tell him that he can stay out of my business with Bel-sempai and it's not like he can talk with his _precious_ relationship with that cracked-up Hibari Kyoya."

Gokudera raised an eyebrow and briefly wondered how long Fran had been perverted/ masochistic/ suicidal. "Uhm…(disturbed cough)…sure, I'll do that. Dunno how well Mukuro will take that though," he finished honestly.

Gokudera was just about to say goodbye, when Bel put in, sounding a teensy bit left out, "No message for the prince?" Gokudera was just about to flick him off and make his escape when alla sudden, he remembered Yamamoto saying that the Vongola members should send a message to Varia to make them feel remembered. I mean, even Bel, the insane psycho must have human feelings somewhere deep down the black hole of his soul, right?

"Erm…yeah, there's a message," Gokudera lied, pushing his mind simultaneously to think of a thoughtful message to say. "Hope you don't die this coming mission, cuz I heard that they have explosives and I know how bad you are with those…there are no technical forfeits in real fights, you know, like you so luckily had with mine," he quipped. Okay, maybe he would just leave a message and scratch the thoughtful part.

"Ushishishi!~ The bastard's just asking for it!~" giggled Bel, before fanning his knives out in front of him. Gokudera knew only too well that that meant. He had only seen it, what, every time he and Bel met?

Quickly thinking of a plan that would both enable him to get away back to Vongola without having to deal with certain knife-wielding freaks, Gokudera started dodging the knives while simultaneously heading for a certain destination; Xanxus' armchair.

As he had hoped, Bel was too immersed in killing him than anything else, and it wasn't long before one of Bel's knives buried itself deep within Xanxus' armchair within a few centimeters of Xanxus' left shoulder. Everyone, including Bel, stopped and immediate silence fell as Xanxus looked at the knife, his shoulder, the knife, and then, _Belphegor_. Without speaking a word, Xanxus stood up.

"RUN BEL-SEMPAI! JUST RUN!" shrieked Fran as Bel started sprinting away for his life with Xanxus, with both guns pulled out and flaming with his notorious rage, not far behind him.

Gokudera laughed and sighed at the same time. Even as he had purposely made this situation happen, he had hoped that the Varia members, including the boss would have matured enough to settle matters such as this in a civilized manner that didn't include brute violence. Guess not.

Upon his return to Vongola, he was once again stopped by the people in the Vongola common room, namely, Mukuro. Grinning as usual, Mukuro asked him, "So, what did my apprentice have to tell me in reply to my message?"

Gokudera looked up at the ceiling and thought about a way to pass on Fran's message that wouldn't entice Mukuro to attack him, the innocent messenger. Still looking up, and decidedly away from Mukuro, he said in a low, careful voice, "Well, to cut it short to the main points, Fran says that he's just as good as you are with illusions so you have no right to criticize him, and also that you can't comment on his being with Bel as long as you are with Hibari." Gokudera wisely didn't mention the 'pineapple' part of Fran's message, wanting very much to _not_ be dragged to the seven circles of hell.

Mukuro sighed and got up, trident blazing with purple Mist flames, and said, "So, my disciple's attitude hasn't improved since the last time I saw to him, I see. Thank you, Gokudera Hayato. Come, Kyoya." He whirled out of the room, Kyoya close behind to avenge the person who had insulted him and his.

Gokudera stood there with an open mouth, and turned to his office with a wide grin on his face, making a mental note to activate the soundproof devices in his office once he got there unless he wanted to work with bloodcurdling screams reverberating in his head.

But when he was only about two weeks and a half ahead of his work (yup, only.), he was rudely interrupted by a mad banging on his door, and a muffled voice bawling, "Gokudera! Open the door! Are you deaf?" Gokudera decided to ignore whoever it was. It was probably some Guardian here to rail at him for doing a bad job with the messages to Varia or something and he could care less.

Then, his cell phone rang and he just knew that it was the same person who had just tried to break down his door with physical and sonar assault.

Marveling at how whoever it was could possibly be bold enough to antagonize him this much when he so obviously wanted to be left alone in peace, he turned his phone off and wrenched open the door with his fiercest, most annoyed expression firmly in place. "What?" he snapped, curtly, as he opened the door.

He somehow was not surprised when he found himself staring at a dirty, sweaty, bloody Yamamoto who had obviously just come back from sword practice. Yamamoto, although he had had the persistence to annoy Gokudera this much, had obviously not been prepared to have this sort of murderous expression fixed on him, and just stood there with an open mouth like he was stupid, which Gokudera firmly believed he was.

Gokudera took his chance and spoke in a condescending manner as though Yamamoto was only one of his many, many Storm subordinates. "What do you want, and couldn't it have waited until you cleaned up?"

"No," Yamamoto said, regaining his power of speech, as he poked at Gokudera's right shoulder childishly, wanting entrance into the Storm office. "Let me in."

"Only if that'll make you go away faster," snaped Gokudera, as he let Yamamoto a sparse meter into his office.

Yamamoto took Gokudera by the shoulder and shook him a little playfully. "What in the world did you tell Squalo? He came in the training room, yelling like a maniac that he was going to kill me, and tried his very best not only to blow my ears out but also to cut my head off! It was all I could do to get away alive after placating him!"

Gokudera just snorted. "He kicked your ass more than one time, I see. I didn't tell you to lose. That's your own damn fault."

Yamamoto shook Gokudera again. "That's not the point! I would have been able to be even in skill with him if he hadn't been so crocked up with killing zeal!"

Gokudera snorted again, completely unaffected with being shaken. "Again, not my problem. Besides, in the real world, I believe that most of the people crazy enough to take on Vongola are…what did you say?...'_crocked up with killing zeal_.' You should thank me; I thoughtfully got you some realistic practice in so you'll actually be prepared when fighting in the real world. Take me, for example. Bel's always trying to kill me in the most painful way possible and look how much it's helped me in real fights."

Yamamoto couldn't dispute Gokudera's last sentence, but he didn't give up just yet. "And I don't think you did such a spectacular job with the other people's messages either! Talking about Bel, I think I saw him running and screaming from Xanxus- I don't even _want to know_, by the way, but I just know that you're somehow responsible for that-, Levi's shocked down about half the trees on the base I think, and Fran…dear lord, just what did you tell Mukuro? Do I even want to know that?"

Gokudera shrugged unconcernedly. "Probably not. And I'll have you know that I only said what they told me to say. They should have been more careful with their messages because I certainly didn't tone down anything they said," said Gokudera, ignoring the fact that he had probably lied by omission.

Yamamoto threw his hands up. He lost. Brightening up and deciding to forget about matters which he couldn't change, he cheerfully said, "Hey, once I've taken a shower, can I go over to your place? You're about to finish up with work aren't you?"

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. It's not like you won't call on me if I say no," quipped the Storm, before pushing the Rain out of his office.

* * *

Gokudera was just taking tea in his living room when there was a banging at his door. Opening it, he scoffed, "Oh, it's you," as though he hadn't been expecting Yamamoto's arrival.

Yamamoto smiled and looked at Gokudera in a mixture of several various positive emotions. "Did you think of anything fun to do?" he brightly said, as he unceremoniously pushed in past Gokudera and closed the door behind him.

"Do I look like the sort of person who has a list of fun things to do?" scoffed Gokudera. Evidently he wasn't in one of his better moods. "Really. No, I haven't thought of anything. I assumed that you would have plans since you're the one who wanted to meet up with me. Don't you ever think over things before you set out to do something?"

Yamamoto sat himself on Gokudera's couch and allowed himself to be served coffee by Gokudera, who was ever the good host to everyone when he found his manners, bad mood or not. "Hey, Mr. Mastermind-Strategist, not all of us can be like you, ya know!" said Yamamoto, determined to be cheerful and not for Gokudera unusually nasty sarcasm to get to him. "Uhm…but seriously, I didn't think of anything either. Just thought of playing it as it goes, like you said. Your coffee making skills haven't improved since the last time, by the way."

Gokudera only shook his head in an irritated manner. Since he had been off work, he had thought about the other Guardians confronting him, ganging up on him, about what had happened, and he was furious at them and at the whole situation. He was fighting to prevent himself from taking his anger out on Yamamoto. 'It was only a harmless comment about your coffee, Gokudera. _Don't_ lose your temper over something so trivial,' Gokudera chanted to himself in an effort to keep himself from lashing out.

They both sat down in on the couch, and Yamamoto noticed that by the way that Gokudera was circling his mug of coffee around and around in his hand, he was in a restless mood. So that explained why Gokudera had been so rude to him….he had probably been thinking about something that was upsetting him. He just hoped that whatever was bothering Gokudera wasn't _too_ bad news.

But before he could ask if anything was up, Gokudera beat him to it.

"I dunno if you've noticed, but the other Guardians have gotten pretty worked up about, you know….us and why we were gone so long." Gokudera spat out bitterly. "Apparently while we were gone on the mission, they took that first chance to all gather up and talk shit about us behind our backs, the dirty useless traitors. They told me that they asked Tsuna, _multiple_ times, what was going on."

Gokudera continued. "And well…they knew that there was something funny, you know, something not right between us. I mean, it was hard to miss considering how we were both acting. And Lambo, that sneaky nosy kid went through our medical records and found out that I was a lot worse off than you and wanted to know why."

Yamamoto didn't know where Gokudera was trying to get with this. But then again, he rarely did. At a loss for anything clever or stimulating to say, he simply said, "Yeah?" Then it hit him. Oh. Eyes lighting up with realization he looked at Gokudera frantically. "Well, what did you tell them? Not the truth? I thought I saw some of them looking at me differently! Goddamn it Gokudera don't just sit there! Tell me what you said!"

Gokudera merely peered at him as though ashamed for a moment before speaking, and Yamamoto felt his heart sink. Gokudera quietly muttered, "You really think I'm that dense? Of course I didn't. I just told them that I was tortured for information." Yamamoto felt a bit better, but he was still concerned as hell.

"Is that why the atmosphere in the common room was so awkward when I went in?" the normally calm Rain Guardian demanded impatiently and desperately.

"Oh. You noticed that, did you? Yeah. Can you believe? You would think that after being in the Mafia for, what, the past decade or so since we were teenagers would give them a clue that of course torture is used in situations like that."

"And they didn't suspect anything else?"

"No. The circumstance was such that I was able to use it to my advantage. I willingly told them the basics, so they couldn't exactly ask for the details."

Yamamoto sighed in relief. "Clever of you. Well, so that's covered."

Gokudera shook his head. "Only for the immediate moment. They're bound to realize that just torture wouldn't have affected our relationship, and they noticed the changes between us, too. They'll probably start on you in a little while since they've realized that they won't get much out of me and that you're more open. Funny how when we were captured, _they _never realized that," he couldn't resist adding resentfully.

Yamamoto squirmed. "What should I say when they start on me?"

"Don't sit around and wait for them to come to you. I admit, they really took me off guard, although I didn't show it, and I could've given something away by mistake. They put you under a lot of pressure. They told me that they wouldn't try to find out more info, but that is highly unlikely considering that it was obvious they weren't satisfied with what I gave them. What I'm trying to say is, they'll be sneakier with you and will try to grab you when I'm not around, which will make you doubly vulnerable. And believe me, if they were as determined and united as that in Mafia negotiations as they were in trying to coerce info out of me, there would be nothing the Vongola wouldn't have."

Yamamoto gulped. "Should I…should I go now? Do I…do I have to go alone?"

Gokudera sighed. "See what I mean? You're already nervous. I was hoping to let you deal with this alone, but I guess I'll go with you since you're probably bound to mess something up by yourself. You don't even have a clue on what you'll say to them, do you? Well I do. I'll send a text telling the Guardians to come to the meeting room and inform Tsuna what we're doing and to stay clear. I don't want him in this. I think it's better to do it as soon as possible. I'm getting tired of keeping secrets all the time and it's not good to leave Tsuna in pressure like that when it doesn't even concern him."

Yamamoto was quiet as he watched Gokudera send out messages on his phone. He spoke up when Gokudera snapped his phone shut. "How much are you willing to tell them?"

The question came right back at him. "How much are _you_ willing to tell them?" Rather nastily, Gokudera continued, "It's your honor, not mine that's at stake here."

When he saw Yamamoto's hurt expression, he sighed. "You didn't deserve that. Especially when none of this is your fault. Tell you what, we won't tell them the truth, but a warped story, so they'll understand why we were so weird. I got a plan."

They sat in silence for a minute and then Gokudera phone beeped frantically from the income of the messages from Hibari, Mukuro, Chrome, Ryohei, and Lambo. The Guardians all reported affirmative to the 'meeting.' When he was done reading the messages, Gokudera got a phone call from Tsuna.

Picking up the phone, he put it on speaker. "Tenth. I know you're confused about the meeting and why I asked you not to come. It's not a meeting. It's about Yamamoto and me and dealing with the Guardians who just can't seem to leave us alone. So, we decided that we would get enough of it out so that rumors stop and they'll stop bothering us."

There was nothing on Tsuna's end for a while, until he said, "Wow. You've thought this out haven't you. Is Yamamoto okay with this as well, or are you dragging him into this?"

Yamamoto mumbled, "S'Okay Tsuna. We decided this together. I'm really tired of all this as well. Besides, Gokudera wouldn't want you to know this, but he got basically ganged up by the other Guardians about what happened and he doesn't want to pressure to be on his back for forever, and I feel the same."

Tsuna sighed. "Alright. Best of luck, then."

Hanging up the phone, Gokudera nudged Yamamoto. "Let's go." They walked together to the Meeting room and into uncertainty.

**So… the other Guardians haven't exactly been sitting tight either.**

**Of course they wouldn't be satisfied with what Gokudera gave them. I mean, would you be satisfied with such a general answer as that?**

**The next chapter is obviously going to be this pairing against the others, but it's not an 'us-against-them' situation because the situation sort of changes. Drastically.**

**I still haven't completely decided the direction this story is going to go, (because none of my reviewers give me a call-out on what they want) and the fact that my inspiration for this story has only just resurrected from death is not exactly helping. Especially, no offense, the actual KHR manga these days has been really really awful to the point where I have simply stopped reading it. Akira Amano…. Are you feeling alright?)**

**Next chapter will be about the 'meeting.' (The interaction was supposed to all happen in one chapter, but I didn't want to overload a single chapter so I divided it. The advancement of Yamamoto and Gokudera's relationship will happen in a few chapters, so please be patient.)**

**Yeah. So…..****review****, please. Ciao for now!**


	6. Surpassing All Limits

**So, the 'meeting' will now start!**

**Hope my readers will not be disappointed… if you are, please feel free to offer any sort of constructive criticism, because I'm open to it.**

**Note: There is quite a lot of _cussing_ in here, such as the f-word, and the s-word and other things like that, so juss warning ya!**

**I personally am a great believer in cussing only when there is a very valid reason, cuz that gives the words so much more power. Well, there is definitely a _very_ valid reason for the cussing in here, especially when it's... whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!...**

**What am I doing almost giving away the chapter here? Juss read it, will ya? Hope you'll like it!**

The other Guardians were ready and waiting for them in the meeting room. When Gokudera came in, they all looked down, probably thinking of how just earlier in the day, they had 'met' with the Storm Guardian.

After Yamamoto was in the room, Gokudera closed the door and flamed the lock with a flare of Storm Flame, making it so that no one but someone possessing his top quality pure Storm (or Sky Flame) could get in or out.

The Guardians seemed surprised at this, and Rhohei spoke up, saying, "Gokudera, Tsuna's not in here yet. And why are you locking the door? You've never done that before."

Gokudera just sat down and smoothly said, "He's not coming."

Instantly, the Guardians spewed forth a mess of inquiring garble about why their boss was not coming. Patiently waiting for them to quiet down, Gokudera merely drummed his fingers on the tabletop until there was silence.

"He's not coming because I asked him not to and also because this isn't a meeting. I never said it was. I just said to come to the meeting room. This is, my _dearest_ fellow Guardians," said Gokudera, his voice dripping with venom, "about what happened in the common room today."

Lambo quickly said in a desperate sort of voice, clearly thinking along with all of the other Guardians that Gokudera was after some serious revenge, "That's settled, Gokudera. We told you, we're okay with it now, yeah?"

Gokudera continued in the same poisoned voice. "Really? Oh excuse me. I guess that the eager expression on basically everyone else's faces don't mean anything then. Do you think that I would have believed you when you said that you were okay with it? Wouldn't have waited for the very next mission in which I was gone to jump on Yamamoto or Tsuna again? Seems like your oh-so-prominent and sudden sense of morality that you apparently have now wasn't so intact when I was gone, yeah?"

The Guardians flinched, and by that flinch, it was clear that they had been thinking, if not planning similar things. Gokudera made a disgusted noise.

Yamamoto stepped in before Gokudera could say anything else hurtful or disturbingly accurate. And there was no one quite like Gokudera when it came to saying purposely hurtful and disturbingly accurate things. "Enough, Gokudera. We didn't come here to do this."

Gokudera looked pissed off for a second, but then he relaxed and said, "You're right. You know what to do. Lead the way."

Clearing his throat, Takeshi said "Gokudera told me what you guys did in the common room. Now I'm not holding it against you or anything. I understand that you guys were curious and that you probably have somewhat of a need to figure out what happened. I also understand that while you promised Gokudera that you wouldn't try to figure out more, after being teased with just the basics, you were bound to get more infuriated. Is that right?" Yamamoto looked around at the Guardians for affirmation and at Gokudera for approval.

The Guardians looked mainly shocked at Yamamoto and especially Gokudera, who was notorious for being secretive, was willingly offering them information.

Then Gokudera, getting impatient with how things were going, snapped, "So! Ask away. You'll get an answer. How hard is that to understand?" but he toned down his fierce gaze under Yamamoto's pleading look.

Hibari spat out, "How the hell are we supposed to ask anything when we barely know the basics? So we know that you were captured and that _he_ (he jerked his head toward Gokudera) was tortured. That's barely anything to start with."

Gokudera started retorting, "How the hell would you-" but Yamamoto tactfully stepped in before a fight could happen. "I get you Hibari. The basics basically _are_ really all that happened, but I guess you want details. I understand that."

The Rain took a deep breath to calm himself, and started.

"On my birthday, Gokudera and I were out on the streets, just hanging out. After a while, we got bored and started going through the little alleys off the main street. We got surprise sabotaged - which was carelessness on our part I admit - shot and knocked unconscious with these new sedative bullets, and taken prisoner inside this interrogation holding and torture facility. I don't know for how long we were out, but when we came to, this interrogator, who turned out to the head of the Family who attacked us, came in and told us that this was part of some grand scheme of his destroying the Vongola and rising up in the ranks."

The Guardians burst forth a torrent of questioning and exclaiming words that Yamamoto waved away. When there was silence, he continued. Gokudera was just sitting back in his chair with his eyes closed.

"That's when we knew we were in some deep shit because we knew if a Family was that crazy to try something like that, there would be nothing that they wouldn't do to us. Like Gokudera already told you, he knew that Gokudera was the right-hand as well as the Storm, and also because he sort of (he glanced guiltily at Gokudera here)… shot his mouth off at him. (_EVERYONE _knew about the Vongola right-hand's infamous reputation for being fiery.) _Then_ basically-"

Gokudera cleared his throat loudly, sitting up. "_You_ don't know the next part. _I'll_ say it since it happened to _me_." Turning to the Guardians, but not making eye-contact, he spoke in a low voice. "You already sort of heard from me before. Now I'm not going to get in the details, but you can tell just by looking at me (Gokudera shrugged off his blazer coat and rolled up his dress shirt sleeves, something he _never_ did in public) that it wasn't too much fun."

Gokudera didn't extend and display his arms, but even from a couple feet away, the many prominent welts and white scars were clearly visible on Gokudera's weather and battle-worn, sun-exposed, tanned skin. And since Gokudera, especially these days, never went about without being fully covered, this was the first time that the Guardians had ever seen even a part of the damage that Gokudera had suffered. Quiet intakes of breath went about the room at the nasty sight.

"And those are, obviously, just my arms which they didn't even target. I think they tortured me every…how was it? Every few days or so?" Gokudera asked Yamamoto, who nodded sadly and tried to avoid everyone's gaze. It was so awful knowing that he had almost never been harmed while Gokudera had been mutilated time after countless time.

Yamamoto muttered, "Yeah…about every two or three days when they got started. They were planning to keep us there for a long time, and since we had a lot of information, they couldn't hurt Gokudera to the point of killing him. So after a particularly severe session, they gave Gokudera a sort of grace period to recover a little. We obviously didn't get any medical care, but the place we were kept in had a room with a bed and a bathroom, and in the bathroom were some painkillers, salves, bandages, and the like. Mind you, the Vindice would have been after them if they didn't even have that, so it wasn't like they were exactly offering us any compassion."

Mukuro had a stony expression on his face, as though he was reliving his own experiences when he was with the experimenting Estraneo Family. In a clipped voice he said, "I don't mean to draw attention to myself, but when I was with the Estraneo, what kept _me_ alive was Ken and Chikusa who, as you know, were with me there. The three of us had been experimented on for the longest and we had a sort of survivors' connection. But with you two… it was only one of you."

It was a statement with an unspoken question behind it that was directed at Gokudera.

Gokudera broke out into a devilish smile. "Only you. I was hoping you would notice that. You want to know how it was between us. Well, I got sort of indebted to him, as most of the time when I was brought back from being tortured, I couldn't do anything for myself, so he mostly had to tape me up, which couldn't have been enjoyable. I was grateful for that, and I still am. But I will admit that I did get resentful that it was me and not him."

Yamamoto felt his cheeks burn and stared down, hard, at the table top. He was hurt at Gokudera's last sentence, but he was more affected by what was said before that. He didn't deserve this sort of awful gratitude. Taking care of him had been something he needed to do, not an obligation he was forced to do. He suspected that the other Guardians were as shocked as he was at hearing such words from Gokudera. Gokudera almost _never _verbally expressed what he felt.

Chrome, ever Mukuro's other half, put in, "I understand that connection, but that doesn't fit with how you two behaved when you got back. Gokudera…you sort of acted like you couldn't bear to be within a five meter radius around Yamamoto for a while."

Gokudera and Yamamoto looked at each other. So it had come to this already. Yamamoto felt his heart pounding inside him as he realized that he didn't have any idea of what Gokudera's apparent plan entailed on this matter. What was Gokudera going to say?

The Storm quietly said, "I don't feel like talking that much about this, so I'll make it quick and intense. I'll just show you."

Without another word, he started unbuttoning his shirt. Yamamoto prayed fervently that the bite and finger-marks he had given Gokudera had completely faded or that the Guardians wouldn't notice. But even though as much as he wanted to stop Gokudera, his whole body had turned so weak that it was all he could do to keep breathing normally. Fortunately, the marks that he had left on Gokudera were only barely there so that if you didn't already know where they were, it would have been very hard to find them.

Gokudera reached the last button, sighed, and stood up with his back to the Guardians. Taking the hem of his white shirt, he held it up to show his back.

Gokudera's back was only shown for about three seconds or so, but it was more than enough. Even after a little over half a year of constant medical care, Gokudera's back was still star-crossed with a complex network of ridged dark scar tissue that was as gruesome to look at as a freshly inflicted mutilation wound would have been. That sort of damage didn't ever really heal or go away.

Even Yamamoto, who had had the image of that back imprinted into his mind on the night that Gokudera had nearly gone over the edge, was riveted by the sight over again. Maybe that was why he was tearing up.

The Guardians looked as though they had been shell-shocked, which they were. Even during all the hundreds of battles that they had been in since officially becoming the Vongola's Guardians, they had never seen something like that, let alone on one of their own. Half of them had their mouths so wide open that any wider, people would be able to see past their throats into their stomachs, and the other half had their jaws clenched so tightly that it was a wonder that their teeth weren't shattering under the tremendous pressure.

Meanwhile, Gokudera had lowered and buttoned his shirt securely and put his blazer back on, covering himself up completely. When he had seated himself back in his seat, he broke the heavy silence. Meeting the wide open and glazed eyes of the other Guardians (sans Yamamoto), he said, as though he was only talking about the weather, "That was courtesy of _him_," jerking his head towards Yamamoto.

Gokudera was thinking a lot of things right at that moment. Okay, so maybe he had been harsh and a bit overdramatic, but he also felt that that was needed. Of course Yamamoto had nothing to do with the pitiful state of his whip-lashed back except that he had practically saved him from dying from blood loss and infection, but there were…other things. Besides, at least the other Guardians would understand why he had been so hateful to Yamamoto for a long time, even if they thought that it was because of the wrong reason.

Yamamoto turned to Gokudera, a tear streaking down his face. Gokudera knew what the Rain was thinking. This cover-up story was just...so perfect and yet so wrong. It would settle everything without having to ever expose the truth, and yet…it was both so close to the truth and so far that it was hard to know what to think of it.

Gokudera just shook his head at him for lack of anything to say.

The horrified expressions on the other Guardians had increased in intensity. They were obviously having great difficulty processing all this information. So…not only had their right-hand and Storm been tortured to the extent that it was a marvel how he was even still alive and sane (although obviously traumatized) but it had been their own Rain who had inflicted this damage.

Okay, the Mafia was officially hell on earth.

Yamamoto chanced a look at the other Guardians and nearly choked on own saliva at the looks of incredible disbelief and pity directed at Gokudera and the looks of betrayal and even hatred directed at him.

Lambo, being the one besides Yamamoto who the most attached to Gokudera was the first to react. Hurtling out of his seat, not even bothering to charge up his electricity in his mindless rage, he charged and started plummeting every square centimeter of Yamamoto that he could possibly hit with his fists in crude revenge. Lambo wasn't even saying anything because he was rendered incoherent by what he had just seen and heard. Yamamoto was just taking the blows, cringing deeper and deeper in his seat, not moving to defend himself.

The next moment Gokudera was up and was holding Lambo's arms to restrain the Lightning Guardian. "Lambo. Lambo! Stop," he ordered.

Lambo wasn't exactly listening, but he had stopped struggling somewhat. "So," the Lightning Guardian snarled, addressing Yamamoto, his voice lower than anyone had ever heard it before, "I suppose they threatened you with torture or death if you didn't…didn't do _that_ to him?" Lambo was clearly fighting to keep himself from exploding in a lightning ball of fury and sadness at seeing his mentor, father-figure, and friend in such a state. "If that was it, you should have _fucking died_. Something like that…what Gokudera went through…is worse than death. You fucking low-life, despicable, cowardly-"

Gokudera released Lambo's arms and shook him softly by the shoulder, silencing him. "It wasn't like that Lambo. I'll explain in a little bit if you'll calm down a second. Even if it was like that, I should be the one spitting the insults and beating him up, not you. Besides, I've already done all that," he softly said, with his trademark crooked smile.

"Get up you. What are you all worked-up for?" Gokudera said, kicking Yamamoto's chair on his way back to his own seat. Speaking a little louder and making sure that everybody else could hear him, including Yamamoto who had his face buried in his arms with his head down on the table, he said, "Before anyone gets the same tragically wrong misconception as Lambo got, it really wasn't like that." he said, making Lambo cringe a little.

Gokudera grimaced before continuing. "They got the idea, after countless torture sessions, that not only did I not give them the answers they wanted by being tortured the regular way, but after the torture, I had Yamamoto to help me out. Realizing that they had to break his and my connection, they got…creative and held me at machine-gun point telling Yamamoto that if he didn't inflict as much damage on me as he possibly could, they were going to blast my head apart. Then they tied me to a post, handed him a whip, and cocked their guns."

Lambo snarled, "Anyone could have known that they wouldn't dare to actually kill you. You had all the information. And even if you didn't they wouldn't dare. They wouldn't go that far not when they knew you were Vongola. They would beat you up, electrocute you, whatever, but firearms they wouldn't touch. It's basically a tacit Mafia code."

Gokudera shrugged then sighed out a stale breath of air like he was bored, cheeks puffing out gently. "I have two bullet wounds in my leg, and one in my shoulder that seriously disputes that. They shot me with a handgun when he wouldn't start on me directly, you see. Then they shot me whenever he paused in, well, his _administrations_."

Lambo paled. He couldn't answer to that. He shook his head frantically, as though he just refused to believe it. He glanced at Yamamoto, glanced at Gokudera, and fidgeted in his seat. The other Guardians seemed to have forgotten everything else but Yamamoto, because they were all staring at the Rain Guardian as though they couldn't even believe the sight of him.

Gokudera stepped in. Again.

"There's no need to stare at him like that. If what he did warranted any punishment, he already got it all from me and more. The last few months have been hell for him with his mind being corrupted with this. I mean, just look at him. He's about halfway as messed-up as I am now, which is saying something" he said, trying to make light of the situation.

The other Guardians looked away, reluctantly, from Yamamoto and turned to Gokudera, which was pretty ironic considering what Gokudera had just said. Gokudera just shrugged again and did the cheek-puff sigh before kicking Yamamoto's chair leg again.

"Get up. What are you like this for anyways? You're the one that keeps on telling me that it's done with. Besides, you getting so worked up isn't helping me trying to explain all this so you'd better get your shit together."

_That_ made Yamamoto sit up. Wiping his last tears away and recovering immediately after hearing Gokudera's words, he looked up, but didn't look at anyone.

Gokudera raised an eyebrow at his behavior and then muttered, "It probably was wrong for me to hold something like this against him when he was forced, but the human mind doesn't exactly work very sensibly at times, especially not mine. I…really hated him for what he did for a while. Being so humiliated like that wasn't something that I could take and forgive. But like I said in the previous meeting, we're starting over."

Yamamoto burst out, "But Gokudera… I mean, we say that all the time but…it doesn't turn out like…like it's supposed to," he finished lamely.

Gokudera sighed at the starry-eyed Japanese man in front of him. Yamamoto was trying so hard in so many ways with not many results. He couldn't understand something like that. But he did offer a small smile and grip the other's shoulder gently in a gesture to show that this time, they would make it turn out. Yamamoto bit his lip and stared at the hand on his shoulder. Cautiously, as though afraid that Gokudera was going to pull away, he grasped Gokudera's hand before suddenly reaching out and grabbing the Storm around the shoulders like he wasn't ever going to let go.

Gokudera was uncomfortable at this show of affection, but valiantly didn't show it and awkwardly patted the Rain Guardian's arm a couple of times before gruffly saying, "You alright now?" before reacquiring his private-space bubble.

"Y-yeah." Yammaoto said, showing a small, hopeful twinge of a smile that made Gokudera look at him with a quiet stare of his own.

When the moment broke, Gokudera turned businesslike again. "Well, this settles any questions that you lot had about what happened, I think, since none of you are asking any. I leave it to you to settle the rumors circulating around the Vongola HQ because I sure as hell aren't dealing with more shit than necessary. The rumors had _better_ stop, because I'm at my limit with overhearing all this gossip behind my back. I'm going to leave now so you can talk privately with Yamamoto. I'm sure he feels differently from me on many aspects, and you should know what he feels as well."

He turned to Yamamoto. "Don't take too long, will you?"

The Meeting Room door hung open behind the Storm Guardian as a reminder to Yamamoto that he should make it short.

Yamamoto was left with the last traces of the warmth Gokudera had left in him, flushed cheeks, and dried tear tracks on his face to deal with the Guardians. It wasn't much, but it was everything, and he had just enough courage.

He could do this, he told himself. Trying not to tremble, he met the stares of the other Guardians.

In a small and serious voice he said, "I'm not downplaying what he went through, but it wasn't like... like it was nothing for me. He understands that and takes it into consideration while dealing with his own problems. Then he just leaves me to deal with mine, and it hurts, to be left alone. But…I understand, and he appreciates that, and we've gotten a lot closer. And… I know it's been awkward, cuz I keep chasing after him like there's nothing else, but even if…with the sort of awful luck that he and I have…something even worse happens, this won't change. I know I'm being selfish, but if there's anything I learned from Gokudera, it's that when selfishness is justified, it's alright. And I've decided I can be selfish for once. I've suffered enough, haven't I?"

There was a thick silence in the room that was hard to place. Yamamoto felt nervous, but rather pleased with himself for giving such a speech. He had the distinct feeling that if Gokudera had been there, the Storm would have appreciated it. He sat back in his chair and waited for someone to say something.

When the silence just keep stretching and stretching, he wished, not for the first time, that Gokudera had not left him to deal with this alone. He glanced at the open door. Just leaving seemed to be a pretty good option.

The Guardians had a distinct look of skeptism and rejection on their faces at what he had said. Clearly, they didn't think that he had been through much compared to Gokudera.

Well this was awkward.

Yamamoto was just about to head for the now very welcoming and open door when Chrome spoke up. The normally quiet, shy, and uncertain Guardian seemed to have changed one-eighty degrees into being suddenly determined and outspoken. Apparently today was the day when everyone showed a hidden side of themselves. And it wasn't pleasant.

Chrome said, "Yamamoto, you've…. Definitely changed a lot since you've become infatuated…no. You're _obsessed_ with Gokudera. Even before this whole _incident_ (Chrome waved her hands and crinkled her face in clear distaste.), you were constantly on him. And this isn't even so much as you trying to get him to love you, but you forcing yourself on him because you know that he can't bear disturbing what peace and constancy he has in his life. Yes, we know it wasn't easy. No one's saying that it wasn't. But whereas Gokudera has at least been trying to connect back with us, you've only been focused on trying to get back with him, and it's just been a bother to everyone."

Chrome ruthlessly went on. "We all know that Gokudera is messed-up, he says it himself. (She said the latter part of her sentence defensively, holding her hands up against Yamamoto's protests and denial.) But that's Gokudera. You used to be the one who thought the Mafia was just a game, who dreamt of being a professional baseball player, who always said that he just wanted to be a normal kid with a normal life. But you've turned different ever since you started _leeching_ yourself on Gokudera. You've been blinded, deluded, _brainwashed_, I don't even _know_, into doing what you've been doing, and none of us appreciates it. And with this, it's only gotten worse," she finished.

Yamamoto was pretty much in shock. How could he not be? He couldn't even process just what exactly had happened. _What?_

And that's exactly what Yamamoto said. "_What?_"

Chrome turned to Mukuro, who said impatiently, "What Chrome here is trying to get through your dense head in the most gentle and subtle way possible, is that you've turned too much like Gokudera, and we don't like that."

Yamamoto's mind had gone completely blank. Was it just him, or were the Guardians treating him like he was some sort of pest that needed to be done away with?

Numbly, he said, "_What?_ Well… well first of all, what's wrong with me and Gokudera? And second, what's all this about me being obsessed? Is what all of you think, that I'm forcing him into something that he doesn't want?"

No one answered. Some of them just scoffed or turned away.

Yamamoto kept on, completely shocked and confused, "So…so… you think that what happened when we were in capture, that it was just some sort of extreme continuation of me taking over Gokudera's life or something? And…and that he brought it all on himself and that I've been corrupted by him in some way?"

Again, no one answered, but the silence and the purposely turned-away gazes of the Guardians answered for them.

Yamamoto didn't get angry easily. In fact, he almost never got angry, but right now, he felt such a rush of fury rise up inside him that all he wanted to do was to strangle everyone in the room. "Huh? Is that what you think? Well, what's wrong with Gokudera? Has he done something to you or something?" The volume of his voice escalated. "Huh? What have you got against him? And what do you know anything about what I feel for him!" he yelled, now absolutely livid. Why was every single fucking thing and person in the whole world against him?

Everyone was frozen, flushing in fear at what Yamamoto was turning into. Since no one had any idea how to deal with an angry and out-of-control Yamamoto, no one could do anything for fear of being attacked. Yamamoto had never been angry at them in any way, let alone as angry as this! Yamamoto kept on venting his anger and frustration, which had been pent-up since the Mafia Meeting of several years ago, and letting loose at the other Guardians without restraint.

"_What the flaming fuck, huh? What makes you think that you know everything? What gives you the right? So you think you can tell me what to do? Well _fuck _you!_" he screamed.

Mukuro snarled, "Well, considering what you're doing right now, it's hard to not like what you're becoming. Just look at yourself, all pissed off and acting like a maniac! Think about what you're saying!" Encouraged by Mukuro, the other Guardians all burst out in a torrent of unflattering words and accusations directed at Yamamoto and, partly, Gokudera.

That was it. Yamamoto pushed himself away from the table and violently stood up, knocking his chair over with a loud thump that made everyone shut up and cringe. It was obvious that Yamamoto had surpassed any limit of rationality and reason that he possessed. Yamamoto let loose, voice trembling with the tremendous feelings inside him.

"_What would you know? Yeah, I know your sob-story about getting experimented on and shit, being rejected by your own parents, being sent away from your Mafia Family. But you never had to deal with something like what I went through, did you? You never had to reduce the most important person in your life to a quivering mass of flesh… and then later, watch them skitter away at the slightest move you made because they were so goddamn fucking traumatized by you that they couldn't even bear to be in the same room as you. You never knew what it was like to have them suddenly act like you were at once the lowliest and most despicable creature in existence but still be so terrified of you because you did something to them that you couldn't even remember doing. You never had to watch the fucking tape recording of what you had done, see yourself doing unspeakable things, hear them crying out for help that would never come in a way that not even the sewer rats should have to resort to. You _never_ had to choke on your own vomit, and know that there was nothing you could do, _nothing_, to _ever_ make things the same again."_

Everyone was silent, petrified at experiencing first hand, this terrifying side of Yamamoto. They had never ever seen anyone as angry as he was, let alone Yamamoto. The Rain Guardian's words, full of spitting fire and hatred so unlike his element, revealed a whole new world in new dimensions of the incredible despair that a person could feel.

Yamamoto whirled on Lambo.

_"And you. What was it that you said? That I should have fucking died? Just what was your opinion of me that you could have thought that there was even the slightest scrap of willingness in me in doing _that_ to him? You think I didn't want to die thousands of times over? Knowing that it was my carelessness that got him into this mess with me, knowing that he was suffering the consequences for that, knowing that every time he got dragged from our cell he experienced yet another side of hell on Earth, you think I didn't? And watching his internal struggle between his fear and hatred for me and his memories of our previous relationship, hearing him scream in his dreams as he relived it all at night and doing his best to tolerate my very presence during the day, you think that didn't break me? And even months after we escaped, his eyes glazing over and him tensing with flashbacks at random intervals, rejecting the world, rejecting me… What would any of you know about how that feels?"_

He turned to all the Guardians, and his voice suddenly went deep and quiet, a complete change from the on-the-top-of-his-lungs yelling that he had been doing.

"_And with all of you thinking that I'm obsessed with him. What do any of you know about being so taken in by someone who doesn't even know what love is? And about trying months, years, with that person only just barely getting used to the idea of being close to someone, what would you know about the sort of courage that takes? And then finally, finally achieving something, finally gaining his trust and cautious willingness to try a relationship, finally earning the glorious impossible, and then having all those years crash down to less than nothing all because of a single night, all because your body physically reacted to a drug they shot in you, do you know how miserable and completely worthless that makes you feel? And then later, being tortured with the thought that maybe, if you had had a stronger will, you might have been able to overcome the drugs, and that just maybe you weren't able to stop yourself from fucking molesting him because a hidden secret part of you wanted to, have you ever thought something like that? Well, have you?"_

No one answered. The Guardians were all wide-eyed. They had never known what Yamamoto was feeling all of this. How could they have? Even Gokudera barely knew. This incredible pain that was clearly destroying Yamamoto from the inside out… Most of the Guardians, ashamed of themselves for not seeing past the surface, for not considering what Yamamoto might have felt, for not realizing the despair that the Rain was living with, had tears sliding down their cheeks, especially Chrome.

Of course Yamamoto, completely overcome with passion, had come dangerously close to revealing the truth, but he didn't notice, and none of the Guardians did. He went right back to yelling when there was no answer from the Guardians besides muffled sobs.

"_Well,"_ he screamed out,_ "Answer me! Have you? Have you _ever_ felt _any_ of that? Don't you fucking judge me when you don't even know anything! Oh he's messed up, is he? I'm deluded, am I? Well, why the hell do you think we are? And just what's so cracked-up about us, huh? What is it about him that you hate so much? What has he ever done except work himself to death trying to keep everyone safe, volunteering for all the uncomfortable missions and the difficult paperwork that no one else wants to do? Why do you think that he was so obviously eager to get along with everyone and yet be so emotionally detached when he first joined Vongola? Do you know anything of his past? He was rejected, kicked out onto the ground, spat on, and ground into the dirt by thirty-fucking-eight Families all because he was what they called a bastard. But he had to keep on trying because the Mafia was all he knew. Would any of you, any of us, know he felt countless times over when we were practically snapped up and recruited in on the first shot? I'm not stupid. I know he's messed up, and he knows that he's messed-up. And he's only gotten worse with that over the years. Everybody knows that. But do you have to shove it in his face? And it's not just you who was tired of chasing after him and getting little results. I hate the fact that he wouldn't just accept me straight off, and I hate him for that, even though I know it was because he couldn't!"_

Yamamoto's face was flushed with unbelievable anger. He was breathing heavily, piercing everyone in the room with such a knife-like sharp glare that it put a whole new different meaning to the phrase, 'if looks could kill.' This was more like, 'if looks could damn people straight to hell.' The Guardians were all shaking in shame and fear at the awful pain and fury that was radiating from Yamamoto. They were white, all the blood drained from their faces as they were washed over by Yamamoto's white-hot rage.

But Yamamoto wasn't done yet. His bellow intensifying into a shriek, he continued, _"And just when he and I were getting back on track, you butt in and try to ruin everything! Putting him and me under more pressure and stress than we already have while expecting us to carry on with our jobs and lives just like we used to, gawking at his scars without even bothering to understand the implications behind them, accusing me of things I didn't even do, and all the other shit you get up to whenever he and I aren't around! You think he and I never noticed that? You think we don't know who's behind most of the ridiculous rumors flying around here that this is all an act, that we were actually on some top secret mission, even that we're imposters or spies? You fucking backstabbers! And you point your filthy fingers at us for being dirty, insensitive traitors? Has it ever crossed your mind that we might have been feeling more than any of you and just didn't know how to deal with it? That we just didn't trust you with these sort of things? Well turns out we had good reason!"_

There was a lengthy silence, only filled with hysterical sobs from some of the Guardians and ragged breathing from Yamamoto.

His voice overflowing with poison, he said, "I'll leave you to freely talk shit about me now, shall I? Have a good rest of your day, because I sure won't be. Thanks to all of you," before walking out the Meeting Room door which had been open all throughout his rant.

The hallways were stiflingly quiet, noticeably so, as Yamamoto walked through the office corridors to go to his office and lock himself in to cool down and think things through again by himself. It was obvious that all the Vongola workers had heard him screaming at the other Guardians and were purposely trying to stay out of his way. Hell, the people from Varia HQ all the way across the campus might have heard him.

The idea that people were avoiding him, of all people, to avoid getting yelled at was so ludicrous to him that he actually laughed as he reached his office door.

He went in, still weakly laughing, closed the door behind him, and locked it. When he felt the door securely closed behind his back, he leaned against it, still shaking with laughter. Did he really just get that angry? He hadn't even thought that it was possible for him to reach that level of fury. This realization made him up the volume of his laughter by a few decibels. He had just vented at the other Guardians! What was the world coming to?

Yamamoto was now laughing so hard that he doubled over, clutching his stomach. Bitter tears streamed down his face as he laughed and laughed.

When he was done laughing and crying simultaneously, Yamamoto collapsed in his office chair, worn out and drained, and thought about everything he had said. He couldn't even really remember what he had said because it had all been in the heat of the moment. How long had he been yelling? Twenty minutes? Thirty minutes? More? So much for finishing up quickly as Gokudera had asked him to do. He tried to remember as much as he could on what he had said, but there was only this red blank in his memory in which his adrenaline had taken over.

He didn't feel a whit bad or guilty for yelling at the Guardians. In fact, he felt incredibly happy and satisfied with himself. That would show them. Well, if he getting so angry at them didn't make them change their stuck-up attitude, nothing would, and he was pretty sure that other Guardians wouldn't ever mistreat or disrespect him or Gokudera anymore. He felt marvelously light now, now that his anger had all blown out of him, now that he had vented all the frustration that had pent-up within him for the past few years. He felt like if anyone somehow popped in his office right now, he would cheerily greet them with a smile.

Now that he had somewhat calmed down, he was able to remember some of what he had said, especially the important parts.

Oh. He had accidentally said something about drugs and him molesting Gokudera. Thank god he didn't reveal more. The Guardians were too preoccupied at being yelled at to really listen to the words being yelled at them anyways, so it was probably all right. Whoops. He had also told them some info on Gokudera's past that was confidential. He felt bad about that, but again, he was sure that the Guardians had been more focused on being screamed at by him rather than what was being screamed at them, and he was right. What else had he said? Oh yeah… about him hating Gokudera for being hard-to-get. Well, that had certainly been true, but now that he had vented, he realized, not anymore. Not anymore since he and Gokudera had started up their new relationship which Gokudera, actually, had started. Yup, that was it. Life was good when you let yourself go for once.

Yamamoto suddenly was filled with a desire to find and talk to Gokudera, tell him everything that he had said to the Guardians, and ask him what he thought of it and what he thought of him getting so angry at them. Bounding out of his office excitedly, with an expectant grin on his face, he popped in the nearest office of one of the Rain subordinates and said, "Hey! Anyone know where the Storm Guardian went?"

The subordinates looked absolutely terrified, but one of them stuttered out, "I think I saw him go to the Tenth's office, sir!"

"Thanks!~" Yamamoto called behind his back as he fairly skipped towards Tsuna's office.

When he got to Tsuna's office, he knocked twice, only for ceremonial purposes, before barging in, singing out, "D'you know where Gokudera is, Tsuna?"

Tsuna stared at him without saying anything. Then, he said, "Are you quite alright, Yamamoto? I heard you…yelling at the other Guardians. You've obviously been feeling a lot of very negative things but haven't asked for help or told anyone how you feel before."

Yamamoto chirped, "Yup! I bet everyone in Vongola heard me, it was pretty hard to miss especially when the door was open the whole time! I'm alright now though. Where's Gokudera? I wanna tell him everything!"

Tsuna looked decidedly worried. "He was in my office, just talking to me, when he heard you yelling from the Meeting Room. We could hear every word you said. He sort of froze up while you were ranting, and when it got quiet again, he left."

Yamamoto, after hearing this, came down from his post-rant high like he had dropped off a cliff. He felt a cold feeling in his stomach at how Gokudera would have taken what he had said.

He slowly said, "So…did he react in any way?"

Tsuna grimaced. "He just got this really shocked look at the beginning, and I don't blame him. By the middle part his expression sort of fell and he looked really…really… I don't even know exactly what. He was just…. He wasn't depressed, but he looked like the epitome of downcast times two-thousand. But he didn't seem to be feeling that down. It's hard to explain. And then…this part was weird. Near the end he looked like he had come to this sort of realization, and then he seemed to relax after that, like something, some feeling he had been looking for a long time had finally come to him. Like he'd figured something out. He sort of looked, I dunno, grimly pleased? Do you know what I mean? Then when it got quiet, he just said something like "Well, that's that Tsuna. Thanks for everything and for putting up with me," and left. Weird. He's never said anything like that before. And I dunno… ever since then my hyper intuition's been telling me that something's up. Do you know anything?"

Yamamoto wrinkled his brow in worry tinged with desperation. Gokudera wasn't doing something stupid, was he? Well, he didn't hear any explosions, so at the very least he knew that Gokudera wasn't trying to kill someone or destroy something, but…. Wait. For some reason all this was sounding vaguely familiar.

This was sounding like what Gokudera had told him yesterday. And if this was what he thought he was… His mind flashed to what Gokudera had told him on the train ride back to Vongola after the diplomatic mission at the Devili Family that they had had yesterday. (In Chapter 2: Psycho Problems of "Straightening Out") What was it that Gokudera had said? About just waking up one day and know that he would finally be able to allow himself to… A thought suddenly jumped into Yamamoto's head. Didn't Gokudera's parting words to Tsuna sound suspiciously like…like it was more than just a regular goodbye? And didn't Tsuna say that…Oh. Oh no. Oh fuck no. Gokudera wasn't…he wasn't….he couldn't be…!

Tsuna saw the expression of growing terror on Yamamoto's face and his hyper intuition was screaming at him that something was very very wrong. "Yamamoto? Yamamoto? Are you-"

Yamamoto suddenly shrieked, "Tsuna! Do you know where he went? It's crucial!"

Tsuna jumped at the sudden outburst. "W-well, no. He just left without saying where he was going, but I can look up the Flame Tracker if you want."

"Do it!" Yamamoto screamed, looking as deranged as he sounded. "Fast!"

"O-okay," Tsuna said, very confused but doing as asked. "Uhm…he's in his Storm condominium. Why do you want to know so badly?"

But Yamamoto had already started running off towards the Storm Section, yelling Gokudera's name desperately.

**So! Now you know what Yamamoto feels and also how nastily scary he is when he is angry. **

**Personally, I'm a Gokudera temperament type of person who gets annoyed very easily, but I do think about what I'm saying and I sometimes say some very purposely hurtful things when I get angry, which is sort of what Yamamoto is like in this chapter, I guess. I encourage you **_**not**_** to be like this, though.**

**Can you all guess why Yamamoto is in such a rush to get to Gokudera?**

**If you don't know, I'm not going to tell you, but I think that the reason is obvious to the point where I might as well be saying it. I even put a note about the 2nd chapter in this story, Psycho Problems, which is all about it. Besides, if you are so innocent that you don't know that I am referring to, you probably should not be reading this.**

_**ANYWAY**_**, assuming that everyone knows what I am talking about (cuz I can't imagine anyone not knowing considering that I've been dropping hints left, right, and center), what do you think of it? I already sort of know what's going to happen, but I'm still up for suggestions and I'm definitely open to putting in some real shockers.**

**I am very sorry for not making them be all lovey-dovey as some of my readers want me to write them. I don't think the lovey-dovey will ever happen, especially when I dislike sappy things. Besides, lovey-dovey does not fit in with this story context in _any_ way, and I am determined to keep this as realistic as possible.**

**HOWEVER, my promise to you that at least one major character ends up happy even if the world ends remains, and it shall (it really is this time!) happen in the next chapter.**

**For sure.**

**How do I know this for sure? It's because I've already planned out and started writing the next chapter, of course! But like I said, I am open to suggestions and changes!**

**So! Wanna ****review****? At your leisure! Ciao!**


	7. Breaking the Barrier

**Hey one, hey all!**

**Thank you for all those who have been following me, even if many people don't review. Some people did review though, and to those people, I offer you my sincere thanks.**

**I must admit, I think that this chapter is the most… It's hard to explain.**

**Well, I won't keep you any longer. Please read (and enjoy)!**

* * *

Yamamoto went, still screaming out for Gokudera, straight for the Storm Section in such a panic that his heart was fairly strumming in his chest.

And yet the panic was so acute and sharp, so unlike anything he had ever felt before, that his heartbeat, even as it was only performing its simple and humble services, seemed to be a sinister stopwatch ticking off the precious time before….before…

Yamamoto wasn't filled with a purpose as he dashed through the hallways. He felt like he had _become_ a purpose, that his life, his existence was solely based on the purpose of saving Gokudera from the worst kind of self-inflicted injury.

He got to Gokudera's Storm condominium door and slammed into it while trying to turn the handle and burst in. It was firmly locked against him. Yamamoto furiously and irrationally tried to open the door just by pulling on the handle, crying out, "Gokudera! Stop! Don't do it! _Please_!" as he pounded on the specially reinforced door to no avail.

Screaming in mad desperation and frustration that the door wasn't opening, Yamamoto hurtled to the Weapons' Room a hallway away, hurriedly shot in his flame to be identified in the scan lock, and rummaged through the various artillery weapons with shaking hands until he found one that had explosive Storm Element bullets that would work against the heavily fortified Storm door.

He sprinted back to Gokudera's door and unleashed a barrage of shots aimed at the hinges and protected lock of Gokudera's door in quick succession, charging at the door between the bullet chambers that he emptied, still bawling at Gokudera, "Don't you _dare_ do it, you hear me? We can make it together! Don't give up on me, _dammit_!"

And still there was the ever remaining silence on the other side of the door.

But Gokudera's condominium wasn't the Vongola Right-hand's condominium for nothing. It was meant to withstand attacks, whether the attacks were being made by friends or foes, and the door still remained firmly between the screaming Yamamoto and Gokudera.

By this point, about a third of the entire Vongola, (including Tsuna and the other Guardians) had crowded around, wanting to know what the hell was going on. By listening to the words Yamamoto was screaming, they could deduce that perhaps their Storm Guardian had…... the Storm Section workers threw themselves at the task of breaking into their leader's blockade, sweating bullets of fear and anxiety that they would be leaderless and mentor-less without the shining role model that they both feared and loved.

It was only until a full six chambers of artillery shots had all been completely emptied in the crucial points in the door, along with the various flames and firearms, that it gave way with a crash.

No one dared to follow after Yamamoto when he dashed in Gokudera's apartment, though.

Yamamoto expected to see Gokudera's corpse lying, crumpled, on the floor, or hanging from the living room chandelier. But the living room and foyer were completely isolated. The little tidbits and odds-and-ends of Gokudera's life were neatly arranged, sectioned off in the cubicles that were the condominium rooms.

Gokudera's bedroom door, unlike the other room doors in the place, was noticeably closed.

Yamamoto's voice was so hoarse from all the strain he had put on it on the past few hours that he wasn't calling out anymore. His breath was catching in his throat so much that even if he had tried, he wouldn't have been able to get anything out. Besides, what was the use of calling after Gokudera when he knew that the Storm Guardian wouldn't answer?

Or…... _couldn't _answer?

Yamamoto flung open the door and saw Gokudera. The terribly fragile-seeming body was lying in an introverted, curled-up form on the bed, the unmoving form turned away from him in a fragile, collapsed heap on top of the smooth bed-sheets.

* * *

(Two and a half hours later)

Yamamoto stepped out of Gokudera's bedroom, and slowly through the hallways without looking back. He was empty. He slowly walked towards the exit main-doorway, and slowly walked past the threshold. Slowly, carefully. Trying not to shatter.

After the first hour, Tsuna had told the other Vongola members, besides the Guardians who wanted to stay, to leave. When no one left, he sternly ordered all the members besides the Guardians to leave, and it was only then that they grudgingly went, chancing sharp, worried glances at the hollow Storm doorway.

So now, Yamamoto stepped out into a semi-circle of the Guardians and Tsuna who were sitting or crouching on the floor. They looked up at him with confused, blank stares, fearing for the worst so much and desiring the best so much that their souls were torn up with the stress and pressure. Yamamoto stared back at them with a similar stare, only his stare was filled with pain, resentment, and even hatred, only his stare _knew_.

The Guardians were burning up inside at being in front of Yamamoto again. They were overtaken by guilt. They knew that they had been the source of most of the direct and indirect pressure, and therefore misery, that the Rain Guardian had been through. They knew that even though Gokudera had been the reason for most of Yamamoto's self-racked agony, Gokudera was what forced Yamamoto to see what was good in the world, all that was beautiful, all that was worth living for, even as he opened up a whole new dangerous and corrupt universe to him. If Gokudera was gone, then it wouldn't be long before Yamamoto would be gone as well. Life would be meaningless and too incredibly banal to be worth living. The Guardians stared at the floor and stayed silent.

Tsuna willed up all the will he had, and even then only had just barely enough to stutter out a few words. "I'm…I'm so sorry about…about…," he whispered in a ragged scrape of his vocal chords.

Yamamoto staggered at hearing those words. He was exhausted, mentally, emotionally, and physically, from everything he had experienced today, all the new and terrible things which had been opened up to him. If his negative feelings towards the world were turned into a force, it would have been enough to overpower the universe. He groped behind him for a wall and gratefully leaned on one before he spoke dazedly. "Sorry? Sorry about what, Tsuna?" His voice was hard.

Tsuna dropped his head and didn't answer. He couldn't answer.

"Sorry? Why would you be sorry? There's nothing to be sorry about. I'm not sorry about it. _He's_ certainly not sorry about it," said Yamamoto, eyes glinting and lips twitching.

Tsuna shuddered. Yamamoto had gone mad with bitter grief and was in some sort of insane denial against Gokudera's suicide, unable and not wanting to believe it. Even he could barely get his head around the idea that there was now a huge gap in his world at the absence of his Storm Guardian and Right-hand man, and a huge gap in his heart at losing his best friend and most loyal companion and advisor.

So this was how Yamamoto was taking it. Pure, insane, disbelief and denial.

"No, seriously," Yamamoto continued. "Don't you believe me? I mean it." Time skipped a beat. "Do you want to see him?" His voice was like splintering flint.

No one answered, and Tsuna dropped his head, shuddering and shaking. What had the world come to? What else was the world going to come to when things like this happened?

Yamamoto, taking the silence for a tacit yes, jumped up and said "I'll get him!" He dashed back towards the bedroom like a kid skipping to a playground.

Tsuna and the Guardians were hyperventilating. They knew that none of them were prepared to see Gokudera's corpse and that it was unlikely that they would ever even begin to get prepared. And yet, Yamamoto, in his crazed state, was basically going to shove the cold facts right in their faces with a happy smile.

There was no right way to deal with this. It was all they could do to try to calm their hacked breathing. They looked skywards and begged for divine mercy.

Yamamoto came back, dragging Gokudera with him, supporting the pale body by holding an arm over his own shoulder.

"See? He's right here!" he said, propping Gokudera's body up roughly on the part of wall next to him.

Tsuna and Guardians couldn't look. They didn't trust themselves to look and remain sane and whole.

But when Yamamoto let go, almost in a sort of throwing-away gesture, the collapsed body folded and started to slide to the floor like thick syrup sliding off a wall. Tsuna and the other Guardians, even though they couldn't bear to look at the remains of their late Storm Guardian, also couldn't bear to see the body so demeaned by being sprawled over the floor. They started to shakily rise to help keep what honor and dignity Gokudera's remaining shell would have left.

But they weren't fast enough to catch him. Just before Gokudera's body, buckling to the floor, hit ground, Gokudera weakly reached out an arm to break his fall himself.

Then, Gokudera lowered himself down and sat in the deafening silence broken only by the dry shuffling of his clothes against the wallpaper. He crouched on the floor, his bangs covering his eyes and shrouding about half of his face. Putting his arms protectively around his knees, he huddled into himself in a small bundle.

"Wha…Gokudera, you're still alive!" shouted Tsuna, followed by the various exclamations of the other Guardians behind him. Tsuna hurried forward and gripped Gokudera under the arms, trying to pull him up. "Come, we've got to get you to a medic and get you treated fast! You can make it through this, hear me? Don't give up on me now, and _that's an order_!" Tsuna yelled desperately.

Gokudera, drained as he was, shook away from Tsuna's grip and went back to being curled-up. "I'm alright, Tenth. Just worn out. I haven't cut myself or taken any drugs. I'm just tired, is all," said Gokudera quietly without moving from his spot. "I didn't respond before because I just wanted to be left alone a while."

Tsuna stood with his mouth open. He threw his hands up. "Okay. Okay," he said.

The Vongola Decimo took a deep breath through his clenched teeth. "Just what the_ hell _has been going on here?_ I want answers, right now!_" he furiously ordered, having had enough of all the disunity and internal strife that had been going on in his Family.

"_You two!_" he yelled, addressing Gokudera and Yamamoto, "_What sort of outrageous behavior is this? Breaking through doors, just ignoring the world, all this fighting, all these stupid secrets that are eating you out!"_

"_And you!"_ he turned to the Guardians. _"What did you do to get them both so worked up? Just what did you do to push them this far out?"_

Tsuna was going to make this all end, _right now_. "_No one is going to leave from here until this is all settled! So someone had better start talking!"_

Yamamoto remained standing stiffly, and Gokudera remained curled-up. The rest of the Guardians were trembling. No one dared to be the first to speak.

Then Gokudera stood up, his hunched form shaking like a leaf in a hurricane in as much as he was upset as he was exhausted. His voice shook just as badly. He seemed to be responding in a numb state of shock as much as an obligation to obey orders that had been driven into him as a young child.

"It's…it's all my fault. All my fault. I'm sorry…. I'm so sorry. I… had the feeling that this situation was going to come down to something like this, but… I didn't do anything because I was so _damn selfish_ that I couldn't be bothered. And look where it's landed all of us." He gasped for breath like a drowning man. "I couldn't figure this mess out before, so I just gave up like the coward I am and tried to forget about it…and I knew from the beginning that it wasn't going to work. I'm the one who pushed everything to this far, these limits that none of us should have had to reach. And…and…I never… I never wanted any of us, any of this to come down to this. You have to understand that… Please…"

"Gokudera," sighed Tsuna through tight lips. "You are, as you say, responsible for a good deal of this, but right now, you need to _be quiet_. You are not the _cause_ of this, but the _center-point_ around which everything else has been building up around. I don't need you to complicate any more things that you already have. So _please_, just…alright?"

Gokudera immediately shut up, crouched up, and huddled up in a tight bundle of misery and guilt, staring at the floor with his head down. In a similar position a few meters from Gokudera, Yamamoto quietly stared straight on in front of him with his head held up.

Tsuna turned to the Guardians. He didn't say anything, just looked at them and demanded, with a cold, extracting stare, explanations from them.

The Guardians met Tsuna's gaze fearfully. Tsuna's calculating, piercing glare was harsher and sharper than a laser blade, but still they met his gaze, too ashamed to do otherwise. Then Tsuna turned away from them. He saw by the look in their eyes that the Guardians knew themselves to be completely unworthy of putting in any input on this matter which they had accidentally sparked due to their foolishness.

Tsuna slowly, almost unwillingly, turned to Yamamoto, who immediately looked away. But Yamamoto didn't stare out into space like he had been doing, or stare at the floor like Gokudera was doing. He immediately looked at Gokudera, for reasons unknown. Gokudera, still engulfed in his shame and distress, did not notice, but Tsuna did.

"Yamamoto. Look at me. _Right_ at me," Tsuna ordered in a voice that gave Yamamoto no leeway to disobey. Yamamoto looked, rather resentfully, towards Tsuna.

Tsuna feverishly ordered, in the same frenzied tone that he had had when he had first demanded that he get answers, "Don't leave out anything. Tell me everything. Recreate the whole situation, the atmosphere, whatever it was that happened. I know you're still upset and worked-up right now, but I can't care less anymore. You're talking. _Now!_"

Yamamoto didn't break his resentful stare, but even under Tsuna's blazing gaze, he kept his mouth shut partly out of pride, partly out of loyalty to Gokudera, and partly out of his inability to even start to explain everything that had happened. He settled for standing there and seething with frustration. Finally, after summoning up the last of his will, he gritted his teeth and shook his head in jerky motions.

Tsuna took in a slow breath. Now, Tsuna was as well known throughout the Mafia for his good-nature and his patience as his right-hand man, Gokudera, was known for his fiery temper and manipulative ways. But if there was one thing he simply could not tolerate, it was disunity in his Family. Tsuna didn't ask for much. He almost never ordered the Vongola members to do anything. So when he did order, he wanted to be obeyed. And Yamamoto so blatantly disobeying him was _not_ pleasing him at all. _At all_.

"_Yamamoto,"_ Tsuna growled as a last warning, _"You will tell me what happened. I have the right to know."_

Yamamoto scoffed. His previous hard voice was now like jagged pieces of broken glass. "What _right_?" He jerked a foot towards the cowering Guardians rudely. "_They_ thought they had the right to know as well. Well, let me clear something out for all of you. _No one_ has the right to know the full story except the ones directly involved. And no one is directly involved in this besides _him_ (he jerked a foot towards Gokudera) and _me_."

Tsuna shook in fury, struggling to keep himself from slamming Yamamoto on a hard surface to knock some sense into him. Gritting his teeth, he managed to get out, "_It's an order. Now tell me."_

Yamamoto didn't dare say no. But he didn't dare say yes. So he just didn't respond.

Tsuna slammed his right palm into the wall directly next to Yamamoto's head, effectively pinning the other Guardian down, and with his left hand, seized the Rain Guardian's collar aiming to imprison the other with pressure and force information out. Yamamoto, having been provoked, did likewise, seizing the other's shirt without the slightest hesitation. And Yamamoto's grip was there to really inflict some lasting damage. Unlike Tsuna, Yamamoto knew, firsthand, how to deal with situations as these.

This situation was positively easy, absolutely nothing in means of 'pressure' compared to the time when he and Gokudera had been held captive. He had never told Gokudera, and never planned on ever telling, but Gokudera had been right when he had warned him that their captivators might start probing him, trying to coerce crucial information out of him with the offer that they would stop torturing Gokudera if he only told them a few facts. (Chapter 4: "Capture and Torture" in my other prequel story, "What they were, What they are")

Just a few facts in exchange for keeping whole what little was left of Gokudera after each torture session.

And when they really started getting into the torture that they inflicted on Gokudera, the little visits that the devilish, smiling sweet spitfire talkers made to Yamamoto cell became more and more frequent as the torture grew worse and worse. Yamamoto would be restrained to a metal chair so that he couldn't even turn his head and a screen would be placed in front of his face at eye level.

The screen showed videos of Gokudera being tortured. _Live _videos.

Yamamoto would do his best not to shout and lunge at the screen against his restraints, knowing that it would only weaken his will and that it would do nothing to help the tortured Gokudera, and do his best not to cave in to his desire that was screaming at him to give away the name of the city that the Vongola HQ was at in return for what very much looked like the possibility of saving Gokudera from irreparable maiming of his limbs at the very least, and death at most.

They would whisper to him, _simply _a name of a city, _just_ a general description, _only_ the basic location, and he wouldn't have to live with the fact that _he_ had caused (however indirectly) Gokudera to writhe like _that_, to shriek like _that_.

Yamamoto never forgot what Gokudera had said to him, about how all his enduring torture would be put to nothing even at a single word Yamamoto gave away, how he would never forgive him, how he would hate his being, loathe his very existence for betraying what he lived for.

But in those moments, when his every moment of silence meant that the intensity of Gokudera's pain would increase, when his every minute shake of the head meant a whispered command to the earpiece of the torturer to do something that would make Gokudera's body bend and twist in unnatural ways, he thought that living with his soul-mate detesting him would be better than living with his soul-mate dead.

But whenever he was about to choke out what they wanted to hear, he thought that he could still see the fierce pride that gleamed in the Storm Guardian's green eyes even as they rolled back in his head from delirious pain, still hear the fighting resistant spirit in the Vongola Right-hand's snappy voice even as they wrenched bestial screams from his strangled throat, still feel that the other wasn't going to be broken just yet. It was a very faint sensation, but Yamamoto couldn't bear the thought of disappointing Gokudera, of failing him when Gokudera was determined not to fail, so whatever he started choking out ended up choked off.

Those weeks, months of practice had steeled Yamamoto to the point where he was now one of the best in the Mafia at keeping secrets. Tsuna, of all people, who didn't even believe in inflicting lasting damage and was still squemish at the thought of torture, attempting to get such an important secret as this out of him by such simple means as threats was completely laughable.

What utter irony. He had sold Gokudera's soul to help keep safe such worthless, ingrateful scum as these? They were all the same, Tsuna and the other Guardians, understanding nothing.

Flaming amber eyes full of Sky Element met cold, chiseled Rain element black eyes. The tension was so absolutely tremendous with the flame elements and killing intent leeching from their bodies that the very air cracked with static.

"_No!_ Please stop!" cried out an anguished voice. "_Please!_" it begged. Gokudera was pleading for them to stop, shaking in what could only be described as a combination of pure guilt and sorrow. "_If anyone has to suffer because of this, let it be me. It's my fault….all my fault. Whatever you're feeling, don't take it out on each other. Please…take it out on me."_

Yamamoto and Tsuna turned to Gokudera, eyes wide. They loosened the grip that they had had on each other. They whispered, "…Gokudera?..." After swaying back and forth uncertainly, they each took a small step towards the Storm Guardian, forcing aside their disagreements for the moment because Gokudera, the center-point of everything that had happened, was the priority.

But their priority certainly didn't think that he himself was the priority. Gokudera was kneeling towards them with his head bowed, something that his pride would usually have him die a thousand times over before he did, something that he had _never_ done even under the _worst_ torture, and was incoherently sobbing, "Please…No… Please stop!…"

Yamamoto had a flashback to when he had been forced to watch the video of Gokudera being completely and utterly violated by him, and how the tied-up and drugged silverette had yelled profanities at first, then had simply screamed, and then, when he was about to be broken, had just pleaded for it all to stop, simply for it to stop. Yamamoto let go of Tsuna without another thought in his head except that traumatic memory and broke away to skitter towards about a meter from Gokudera, crouching worriedly but hesitantly over that same silverette.

Gokudera kneeled down completely on his hands and knees, still crying thick warm tears that dripped off his face onto the hallway carpet. Barely intelligibly over his heaving breaths, he said, "Yamamoto, I knew that you were taking all this hard, but I never…never knew it was that bad. I…heard you, what you said, how upset you were, and…I _never_ knew you were feeling _anything_ like that. I've been so stupid and selfish, thinking that if we just ignored things, it would be okay, but I was so, so wrong. I should have known that there would have been…_horrendous_ things that happened to you that you didn't tell me about. And I'm so…so sorry for being such a jerk and a hypocrite. I…I can't make it out of this alone. And you're the only one that connects with me and I don't ever want you to leave. Don't…don't ever leave me. I need you."

Yamamoto froze. His mind went blank.

* * *

(Flashback: Three hours ago)

The Rain Guardian wasted no time. He didn't even think. All he wanted to do was to somehow get Gokudera up, resurrect him by giving up his own life if that was what it came to. He strode forward, yanked the limp form of Gokudera up, and started shaking the Storm Guardian, the hard, tanned skin of his gripping hands and flashing silver hair blurring together in the hectic movement. He shook Gokudera so hard that he himself was shaking. Crying out in frustration and racked with dry sobs, he let go and threw Gokudera back on to the bed, clenching his quivering fists in the bedsheets.

Then, Gokudera stirred weakly and opened his eyes, but with his gaze averted.

Yamamoto looked up and stared. Gokudera was alive. That was all that mattered right at that moment.

But before he could say anything, Gokudera whispered, "Why are you here, Yamamoto?"

Yamamoto just stared. When he had stopped working his mouth silently and finally managed to get some words out, he urgently asked, quietly not to startle the other into shock, "Did you do anything to yourself, Gokudera? It'll be okay. Just tell me. Did you cut yourself anywhere? Or shoot yourself? Did you take any drugs?"

Gokudera shook his head and whispered, "Nothing. I didn't do anything. I was just lying here, thinking."

Yamamoto stared. "Nothing? You didn't do anything? You were just…ignoring me?" His hoarse voice straggled up a notch. "You must have heard me from outside, heard your place being broken into and you did nothing? Do you have any idea what was going through my head? Do you? Did you ever even think about what I might be feeling? How I might have been taking all of this?" Yamamoto was almost pleading at the end, hoping that Gokudera might have given a damn about him.

Gokudera just kept on looking away in silence.

Yamamoto tried to gather himself. Quietly, very quietly, he whispered, "Do you not care about me at all? Do I mean nothing significant, nothing important to you? What did you mean, what were you trying to tell me in the train back from that mission? Did you ever ask me or even wonder what I felt?"

There was a beat of complete silence.

Then, even more quietly, "Did you hear me with the other Guardians?"

Gokudera remained silent, but he looked at Yamamoto with heavily lidded eyes. Slowly, he nodded. Then after being still for a moment, he nodded again, jerkily.

Yamamoto held his breath. Was this how Gokudera was reacting to what he had screamed at the Guardians? He bit his lip. There was no telling what Gokudera had felt and what he was feeling. By the way that the Storm Guardian's eyes were shimmering with intensity and his whole body was vibrating softly in fervor of some sort, it was clear that Gokudera had been impacted very strongly. But in what way?

Gokudera just repeated what he had first said when Yamamoto came in. "Why are you here, Yamamoto?" The Storm Guardian's voice seemed weary and monotone, as though he was tired of Yamamoto's company.

Yamamoto got off the bed like an old man rising up from his death bed. "If you don't want me here, I'll just go, shall I?" He walked out, and Gokudera watched him leave.

* * *

(Present time: (three hours after breaking in))

"But…but…then why didn't you…why didn't you say anything? When…when I asked you? You just asked me why I was here, and…I left because you didn't say anything else," said Yamamoto, his face twisted with confusion and a lot of other conflicting emotions. "Why… I thought you wanted me gone. Why?..."

Gokudera started bawling even harder, but managed to answer by using his desperation-driven willpower. "I…I was in shock. No, I was…too proud. Too proud to admit that I needed someone. And…after hearing you honestly pour out everything that you felt, everything that I've inflicted on you, I didn't think that you really wanted to hear what I had to say. No one… no one is that understanding or forgiving."

Yamamoto darkly thought about what had been said to him. After thinking, he slowly said, "You're right. No one is that understanding. And no one _can_ be that forgiving. That means I'm not either. I meant what I said when I was angry at the other Guardians. _I hate you for everything you've done to me._"

Gokudera, even though he had said himself that no one was that virtuous, still took what Yamamoto said hard. But the other Guardians and Tsuna were shocked. There was complete silence around the room except for the sound of Gokudera's frantic crying.

Yamamoto continued ruthlessly. "_But you hate me as well, don't you?_"

Gokudera didn't answer.

Yamamoto knelt down in front of Gokudera so their heads were level. "_You do_. You hate me for reasons of your own, and I hate you for reasons of my own. It's only fair. But even though it hurts to know this, at least we're on equal standing. This is our connection."

Gokudera calmed down immediately. He was no longer breathing fast or dripping wet tears down his face. Hearing the truth seemed to have brought him back to the real world. He nodded, and then hoarsely whispered, "So…Since you're calling the shots now, what's going to happen?" He was giving up any control over this that he had had.

Yamamoto shrugged. "No connection is led by a single person. You already know what it is that I want to happen. It all depends on what _you_ want now, if you even know what it is that you want."

Gokudera shook his head. "I thought I knew what you wanted. Now I realize that I never did. But I think I know what I want. I'll tell you, and you can decide."

Yamamoto nodded once.

Gokudera said, in a clear, slightly ringing tone, looking into a world which only he could see, "I've never wanted anything much that was too complicated. Appreciation, that's what I mainly wanted. I got that. Then I wanted respect. I got that too. I never really thought about love before, but I try to think about it now. But I keep getting frustrated because it's something that I can't exactly define." Gokudera's voice strained a little, but then softened into a sort of reminiscent flow.

"But I know that even though I was confused and uncertain a lot of the time, I liked it when you came into my life and offered me both appreciation and respect that I didn't have to work to earn. I didn't understand it then, and I still don't completely understand now how that happened. But if appreciation and respect that is just freely and unconditionally given to you is love, then I want that. And…I'm willing to give back to the people who give that to me. But since I've screwed up everything, I'll understand if you don't want that. So… thank you for everything you've done for me. That's all." Gokudera dropped his head.

Yamamoto took in a breath at what Gokudera had just confessed to him. He couldn't think of anything else that Gokudera could have said that would have impacted him more. Gokudera could have announced that he loved him and wanted to stay with him forever and it wouldn't have had half the impact as what Gokudera had just said. It was incredible to know that he, the humble and much overlooked Yamamoto Takeshi, had succeeded in making the great Gokudera Hayato understand and accept love. This was his reward for remaining faithful to Gokudera, for keeping hope.

He took in a breath to reply.

Then, he thought better of it, and just reached out a trembling hand to wipe the lingering wetness on the cheeks of the person in front of him away. He pushed the silver strands away from Gokudera's face and lifted the other's head up to look at him, taking gentle hold of the other's hand at the same time. "You do know what I want. You've figured it out," he said. "And now that I know that you really mean what you said, that you really are sorry, that you really are willing to try it, I've gotten what I want."

Gokudera looked at him, and for once, the Storm Guardian's look wasn't a scrutinizing, calculating, examining, or deciphering look but a simple, quietly thoughtful one. Yamamoto returned the look, but with passion.

Yamamoto spoke to Tsuna, still holding Gokudera hand in his hands tenderly and not breaking his locked gaze with the other. "I'm sorry Tsuna. I shouldn't have lost my temper with you. And to the Guadians, I'll forget everything, so you forget everything as well. Is that okay with all of you?" Yamamoto felt like he could overcome anything, felt like a god, with Gokudera with him, truly _with_ him for real.

Now that he and Gokudera were alright, and for sure alright, everything was alright.

Tsuna and the Guardians stood numbly at this change of events.

Tsuna was burning in embarrassment for acting the way he had done a moment ago. "I'm…I'm sorry too. I...I can't even properly apologize to what I did. I... I should have known that it was stupid to try to force anything. But…you've done it," he said in awe and thunderstruck respect. "You and Gokudera fixed everything. You two, together, achieved…achieved…"

Tsuna could find no words to describe just exactly what incredible connection his Storm and Rain Guardian had forged, earned with their flesh, blood, and sweat.

He turned and left quietly, and the other Guardians followed.

Yamamoto and Gokudera were left, kneeling before each other in the empty hallway.

* * *

**Yup! So our dear Storm Guardian/ Right-hand, who goes by the name of Gokudera Hayato, most certainly did **_**not**_** commit suicide or even tried to (in which particular chapter of this story and of his life anyways).**

**You know how they say that people who are in a bad state have to hit rock bottom before they can recover? Well that was the purpose of this chapter. To make them hit rock bottom so they can make it back up. **

**I hope that it wasn't very unrealistic and also that it wasn't sappy. I tried to make the recovery-process really beautiful and true, not cute or sweet.**

**Next chapter will definitely be Gokudera and Yamamoto within a very deep and trusting connection, so Yay! The 'hurt' part of my 'hurt/comfort' rating is finally completely over and done with and now, 'comfort' part will take over! Yeah!**

**Please, **_**review**_** and tell me your thoughts!**

**Thank you so much for reading! Grazie!**


	8. Experiment Start

Gokudera looked at Yamamoto, sighed, and shifted positions so that he was rolled into a ball with his arms wrapped around his bent legs. He put his silver head down so that his forehead was resting on his knees. Yamamoto crouched up tentatively next to him.

"Mio dio, mio dio, mio dio, they'll never take me seriously again. And what was I thinking, now my condo is completely crashed and I have important stuff in there…!" Gokudera muttered in various degrees of intensity and slammed the back of his head against the wall he was closest to. When he leaned against the wall, Yamamoto saw his face, streaked dirty and wet and scrunched up in anguish that was barely masked in trivial concern for his reputation and possessions.

Yamamoto knew that all of Gokudera's most important belongings (in short, the ones he actually cared about) were kept in a safe in the Storm Office and that the other guardians sincerely believed that Gokudera could be the right-hand man of Vindice if he so wished and that they were most likely more terrified of him, not less, after witnessing his sudden breakdown. However, he also knew that Gokudera wasn't really concerned about those things; he was trying to distract himself like always.

While Yamamoto didn't want to increase Gokudera's pain, he didn't want to suppress it and have it explode out again later. He took a minute breath and crouched up a little closer.

"This isn't a public street, Gokudera. A very limited amount of personnel have access to here and none of them would dream of stepping in your space, door or no door, without your permission. And even if you just had a bit of breakdown, this just humanizes you. No one thinks any the worse of you for it."

Yamamoto spoke as quietly as he could without rendering himself inaudible. He knew that Gokudera, after years of having bombs explode next to his ears, didn't have very good hearing if he wasn't concentrating on listening, so he spoke in low tones but still with as crisp a pronunciation as he could muster. Taking in a silent breath that nevertheless seemed to whistle through his lungs, Yamamoto continued.

"But we've, not just us but everything, has all gone so crazy these days that I scarcely know how anything's working anymore. So let's talk. So _you_ talk."

"I just…in case you have this misconception, it's not just about _that_ anymore. I've gotten over that incident, but oh hell!" Gokudera shook his head roughly, sending flashes of silver everywhere. "It's fucking stupid to not call it by what it is even now. I think that's where all of this mess started; from trying to repress it, from not acknowledging reality."

Gokudera sank his head back down again as though he had plans to grind his kneecaps into his forehead.

Yamamoto found himself wringing the ends of his shirt in his desperation to understand. "From not acknowledging…but it's not like we didn't discuss it. We did. Or at least we tried to – "

"–Yes, but what use was that when we were both trying to pretend that it wasn't as bad as it was while we were discussing it? It's the meaning behind the word that matters and you know that." Gokudera huffed, and continued speaking with a slightly lower tone.

"You still want to call me by my first name because traditionally that is a symbol of closeness, because it's something that you've habitually sought after ever since we were kids. But then why'd you turn down the offer when I tossed it to you on the train? You weren't just being selfless. It's because even though the label you would be using on me would change, our relationship, the feelings, wouldn't, so what would be the difference? We've been doing the opposite thing with what's happened to us, trying to make it into something else by calling it by a different name. That's why none of it has worked."

Yamamoto nodded slowly, but cold cautiousness was beginning to creep over him and freeze his responses for fear of getting something wrong. Everything that Gokudera had said was true, but there was something still not quite right. "But…Gokudera. We've still not directly referred to anything. And I get your point, but–"

"–The _rape_, then, damn it!" Gokudera said harshly, but not with intention to hurt. He slammed his palm down on the floor. "The fucking rape, you hear me?" Yamamoto flinched a little.

Gokudera slapped his palm on his knee, in a slightly less violent gesture than before. "Oh don't even. It's not like you've never heard the term before. But think about it. When you flinched just now, didn't you do it out of some duty to react? But if you consider it more carefully, there's no particular internal twinge or pain, is there? It's what we've been thinking all along. Except now, it's out in the open; it's fresher."

Yamamoto felt a tiny bit frightened. Again, it was true – his fear of calling the incident by what it was, "rape," was unfounded. He had been subconsciously calling it by its true name all along. But yet there _was_ something fresher about the feeling, like how a newspaper boy walking back to the station in an autumn shower feels a little colder and a bit wetter when he thinks the word "rain."

Nothing in the physical realm had changed, but it felt like he had given up telling a lie that everybody else had long since known to be false.

Gokudera kept on, not ruthlessly but patiently and steadily. He was struggling, putting in a violently valiant effort like that of a baby who takes his first step. "But it's not just the, the rape that I'm talking about. That wasn't, after all, done by free will. It's about us, too. We've relied too much on our intuition, on our ability to read each other's subtle signs, on our tact, on our sense, that we've stopped altogether just telling each other what it is that we're trying to convey."

The exhausted man ran his fingers through his silver hair, and in the glimpse of green eyes that a momentary sweep of his bangs had revealed, Yamamoto thought that he had seen a revival of the Vongola's pride, the power and authority of the second-in-command.

"We're both good at this game, this mindreading game, because we're Mafiosos through and through. You and me, we're the Vongola's top negotiators for that very reason. And that's good, useful, even excellent, but only in the workplace. When we use the same tactics at home, things get way too tricky to figure out and there's nowhere to turn. Even now I'm rambling. I'm talking about _how_ the problem is, not _wha_t it is because I don't know where to start."

Yamamoto was quiet. Gokudera was completely right – he felt that deep inside, but he still didn't see the solution and he wasn't sure if there even was a solution that could be cleanly carried out.

"Don't you see that it all just keeps on going around and around in circles? Just when we think we're over this, the cycle turns again and we get slapped down dead as a rabbit squashed under a car wheel and we send the whole vehicle, the Vongola, off its course. This can't continue. It _must_ not."

Yamamoto chewed on his bottom lip. "But…it's all very well that, it's even wonderful that you're saying this, but you said it before, a long long time ago, what the problem is. You're smart, you think things out logically, and intellectually you've known this all along, but your emotions aren't following. I mean, this would be simple if we could both move on emotionally, but emotions don't work like that."

A pause, then the Rain Guardian sighed from deep down his through with the sound of a waterfall. He wearily continued in an unexpected burst of honesty.

"I can't go to sleep without taking pills anymore to stop the nightmares. You know, those really strong dreamless sleep sleeping pills. I haven't told anyone about them…until just now."

"Same with me. But I've quit taking them now. If I can't sleep, I just go for a walk outside. Sometimes I go to fight with the Varia because then I don't have to think anything. Bel knows the situation and he's always more than willing to try me out anyways."

Another beat of silence.

"I've noticed that you fight with Squalo more, too, these days." Yamamoto nodded in confirmation. Gokudera sighed and nodded his head a couple of times, his eyes shifting everywhere.

"God, what are we doing? Over a year since we've got back, and what the hell are we _doing_? What the fuck are _we_ doing? What in the fuck am _I _doing? I _know_ that I'm acting pathetic, I _know_ that I'm severely testing everyone's patience, so why can't I stop?" Gokudera stretched himself out on his stomach in a sort of prostration of exhaustion.

Yamamoto, almost without thinking, just wanting comfort and blindly reaching out for it, took the hand of the man next to him. Gokudera let him grasp his hand, but didn't respond.

The silver-haired man looked down at his grasped hand as though there was something about it that he had never quite noticed before but that gave him a vague sense of déjà vu. His long bangs hung over his eyes. As though he was levitating his hand, Gokudera raised it up as though he was pushing his hand through clear, viscous, plasma. He drew the hand, which was still clasped to Yamamoto's up to his face as though he wanted to inspect it, holding it up to his eyes and breathing softly down on it.

Then he slowly but firmly kissed the back of his own hand and closed his fingers around Yamamoto's fingers.

"I just…I need support. I want it. I want you. But now it's too awkward, isn't it?" Gokudera laughed quietly, sadly, and then shook his hand free.

"No. _No_. It's not awkward. What you just did right now, that's it. That type of wordless communication is all I want. I don't need to be a mind reader to interpret that, and you don't need to do anything but just feel to do that."

Gokudera leaned on the wall again, closed his eyes, and let out a breath. "Is that so? Well, maybe we both just need to take what we want instead of waiting for it to come to us."

And with that, the fearsome right hand man of Vongola and the fiery Storm guardian Gokudera Hayato, reached out and took hold of what he wanted, and kissed the Rain guardian Yamamoto Takeshi, and started an experiment.


	9. Going All Out

**This chapter is sort of like a buffer. **

**You know, something that helps change and leads things on to a turning point?**

**Hope you like.**

* * *

The next day was a very awkward day for everyone.

Hardly anyone wanted to go to work or could even work properly because of the unsettling embarrassed feeling in the air, but this was the Mafia and no one could just choose not to show up. The resulting forced atmosphere made the whole situation feel even more awkward.

No department had it worse than, of course, the Storm Department.

It was clear, to the outside viewer, that all the work was getting done and that the Storm Department main office was most definitely occupied, but it was also clear that there was a great deal of gossip going around. And it was not at all clear exactly what the office occupant was doing inside the confines of the office.

The only way that the common workers of Storm knew that their section leader must be in the office was because the lock panel on the wall that operated the sliding door showed the burning presence of complex flames that were characteristic of one Gokudera Hayato.

When even the earliest member of the Storm Department, the Chief Secretary of Storm, had arrived on the scene at dawn, he had found on his desk a neat stack of formalized printed instructions and assignments for the day as well as a digital copy to be sent to all the individual workers. The seal on the top of the documents had been lit with Gokudera's signature flames and when the Secretary had checked the main office, he had found the wall panel showing the bright proponents of a familiar flame combination inside but had also found the door slid shut.

The Rain Department was a second follow-up to the Storm, but while the level of awkwardness was nothing compared to the latter, it was still considerable considering that the Department was meant to be one of tranquility.

In that Department, too, instructions, albeit hastily hand-written ones in note form, had been found on the desk of the chief secretary and the Rain main office had been locked but apparently occupied since before the start of the working day.

So the rumors started and spread, each one of them less believable and more fantastic than the last. During the first break after Period A, it had become somewhat of a game among some of the nosier common workers to see who could think of the most imaginative theory that still held semblance with reality and the contest had spread to the other Department workers who were equally eager to use their creativity on useless theories.

By the second break after Period B, the rumors had grown so large and blatant that anyone who cared to walk casually along the Department hallways or the series of mini-restaurants that littered the refectory dining area could catch snippets if they kept an ear up.

The other flame element Guardians had been and looked quite a bit subdued when they turned up for work as usual. Glancing rather sheepishly and apologetically, but also a little irritably and curiously, in the direction of the Rain and especially Storm Departments, they had signed in into their respective Lightning, Sun, Mist, and Cloud offices after the majority of the workers had already arrived. They were clearly refraining from gossiping, but they couldn't help but overhear the workers' rumors and wonder inside their own heads if any of them were true.

However, the Guardians remembered Tsuna's words from the night previous and minded their own business.

Except for Lambo.

Out of the Guardians, it was only Lambo who was reckless enough to try to communicate with the people behind the locked doors.

In all sincere concern for the welfare of his fellow Guardians, however unwelcome or annoying this concern might be, he made his way to Gokudera's office.

Just as he was about to knock on the door, the Chief Secretary of Storm emerged from his own office next to the closed main office and spoke. Although he spoke in a friendly tone, his voice was also unmistakably serious.

"Please don't. He made a specific request that he wouldn't like to take visitors into his office."

Lambo, not too surprised by this information, nodded and turned back to the door, trying for the other means of communication, which was the calling-system on the wall panel so he could speak to Gokudera without going into the office. He had just put up his hand to press the call-button when the Chief Secretary spoke up once more, making Lambo turn around again.

When the Lightning Guardian turned and looked a little beyond the man, he saw that a few in the near vicinity had paused their work and was attempting to watch them surreptitiously. The chief secretary noticed where Lambo was looking and turned his head minutely to look behind him, which was enough of a warning to put all the common workers back hard at work.

Having sent out his tacit threat, the Secretary turned back to the matter at hand, which was Lambo, and looked him directly in the face.

"He left a message that it was preferable _not_ to call on him in any form unless it was necessary. And it hasn't been. His instructions cover everything," said the Secretary firmly, indirectly but clearly telling Lambo to stop trying to contact Gokudera. The Secretary was letting out a very subtle hint of Storm flame element as a warning.

Lambo hesitated. On the one hand, he desperately wanted to talk to Gokudera, the man whom he had come to view as an older brother/ mentor, but on the other hand, it was quite likely that Gokudera wouldn't want to talk to him and the Secretary obviously did not want his section leader to be disturbed.

The Lightning Guardian's hand hovered over the call-button on the panel. Lambo deliberated his choices for a second more, and then stepped back, putting his hand down.

The Chief Secretary of Storm nodded approvingly. In terms of rank, he was not the same as a Guardian, but he was a crucial figure in the Vongola system and his position was treated as equal to the Guardian position. After all, the Storm Department was _his_ domain and he was essentially the right-hand man to the right-hand man of Vongola. It was only right that any and all visitors to the Storm Department act according to his requests.

Now that Lambo didn't appear to be about to bother Gokudera, the Chief Secretary had relaxed. He offered a polite smile and gestured towards his own office nearby.

"Is there anything I can do for you? Perhaps you would like to leave a message for him to receive when he comes out from his office?"

Lambo hung his head in defeat and followed the Secretary into the secondary office. "Yes, that would be nice, thank you."

The Secretary started to pull out a piece of stationary.

"No, nothing that official, please. I'll just be writing a small note."

Lambo took a sheet of scrap paper and a pen and tried to think of what to write. His mind had suddenly gone blank.

While he was thinking, he talked to the secretary. "And from what I've heard, the Rain Office is on lock-down too? No direct contact?"

The Chief Secretary shrugged. Matters outside the Storm Department neither pertained to nor were of much interest to him. "It's what I've heard, but I don't know anything for certain."

Clicking the ball-point pen open and put it to the scrap paper, Lambo started writing from the opposite side of the office desk.

_Gokudera,_ he wrote. _What's going on? You can't just refuse to coexist with other people like this! We need to talk. And you should consider yourself lucky that I didn't just–_

Lambo shook his head and clicked the pen in agitation. He tapped the pen restlessly on the paper, not satisfied with what he had written, but not knowing what to say. He addressed the chief secretary, who had now seated himself in his desk and who was directly in front of him, while he thought of what to write.

Lambo bit his lip. After hesitating, he blurted out, "If the rumors are true, then is it true that…that–"

"–If the rumors are even halfway true," interrupted the Chief Secretary, "then neither the Storm nor the Rain Guardian are in their respective offices, they have tampered with the wall panels to trick us, and they are both outside the Vongola base on a date. Or a secret mission. Or in Antarctica because it's the weapon-free zone and they're tired of violence."

The Secretary looked piercingly at Lambo, who was quite a bit shell-shocked. The Lightning Guardian had his mouth open, amazed at how the Secretary had seemed to read his mind, so much like Gokudera seemed to be able to do, about the panel being overridden. The Chief Secretary continued speaking, this time with the purr of professionalism in his voice.

"All the rumors are absurd. The fact is, the door panel is _impossible_ to meddle with. As you well know, it was collaboratively designed by Spanner and Shoichi and the design was overseen by Giannini. I remember when the first version was installed a year ago and Gokudera said to me that it had machinery that he wouldn't be able to figure out in a decade. Now, not only are there still a minimum of nine years to go, but also I doubt that Gokudera, 'Master Manipulator of the Mafia' though he may be called, threw me that comment then because he had some sort of plan to go on a date now.

Regaining his abilities of speech, Lambo stammered out, "So there's _no_ way that he could have tricked the panel? He's _definitely_ in there?" He pointed in the direction of the main Storm office.

The Secretary of Storm smiled. "Gokudera is _damn_ good," he said, "but he's not _that_ good. He is definitely in there."

Lambo felt even more defeated than before. "But then _why_ has he locked himself away from everyone like that? _Why_'d he cut off all communication?"

The Secretary shrugged. "He _hasn't_ technically cut off communication. He just _requested_ that he be left alone, and so far, no one has been rude enough, or desperate enough, or even just bold enough to challenge his request," he said, matching Lambo stress for stress, emphasis for emphasis. "And I've just been protecting his request. For all I know, his door may not even be locked."

When Lambo got a glint in his eye and started to turn for the door, the Secretary stood up, holding out a stern hand and stopping Lambo. His Storm flames had risen in intensity.

"But don't try it. If you don't even know what you're going to say to him on an unofficial note, you're not going to know what to say to him if he agrees to talk to you. Just write the note. I'll pass it on."

Lambo hung his head again. He crumpled up the note that he had ranted on and asked for a second piece of paper. Before he put pen to his new sheet of paper, he thought of what to write and then once he carefully wrote it, he gave the note to the Secretary before going out of the Storm Department.

The Chief Secretary of Storm folded the note in half and put it in his desk top drawer. He made a brief call to the Rain Department and resumed his work.

Inside the drawer, the note sat in the dark of the desk with its inked message: _Gokudera. I would like to have a talk with you. Please let me know when you're available. –Lambo–_

* * *

Although Lambo had received a brief lesson on respecting other people's privacy and business from the Secretary of Storm, his curiosity had won over by the time Period C had ended. He simply needed to know.

He couldn't go to Tsuna: The Sky would probably just tell him to let the Storm and the Rain do their own thing. Shamal, if he was in one of his good moods, might give him some information about Gokudera.

When Period D started, Lambo decided to try his luck and go see the Doctor.

Now he stood in front of the Doctor's office, trying to get up the nerve to knock. After a full minute, it was only by blocking out all thought in his head that he become reckless enough to actually rap his knuckles against the door.

"Who is it?" called Shamal from inside.

"Lambo," shouted the Lightning Guardian through the door. "It's about Gokudera!" he added before Shamal could ask if there was a feminine presence nearby.

After a couple moments of silence, the door wrenched open.

"What's that fool gone and done now?" Shamal snarled, assuming the worst and using his favorite phrase when it came to talking about his previous mentee. His mosquitoes were swirling all around the doorway. "And why the hell do you keep on bothering me about him?"

"He hasn't done anything!" cried Lambo, putting his hands up defensively. His hair was starting to stand up and frizz, partly because of fear, but also partly because of his own Lightning element. Lambo tried to get a grip on his resolve. "I just want to talk about him!"

"Huh!" snorted Shamal derisively. With a whirl of his doctor's coat, he went back into his office but left the door open.

Taking the open door to mean that Shamal was allowing him entrance, Lambo tentatively went in and sat down on the chair in front of the doctor's desk where Shamal had reseated himself.

"So what are you here for, then? And whatever it is, make it fast. You're using up my flirting time!" Shamal snapped.

Lambo, having gotten somewhat of a grip, replied, "No I'm not. All your nurses and assistants are male because you sexually assaulted all the female ones. And anyways, this won't take long if you cooperate with me!"

Shamal snorted again, but didn't say anything.

"Okay. So," said Lambo. "What's wrong with Gokudera?"

"How the hell should I know?" Shamal burst out, exasperated. "You think that he and I have friendly fire-side chats every night? The last time we talked was months ago!"

"But you _know _him," continued Lambo. "Haven't you heard what Gokudera's been up to?"

"You said that he didn't do anything!" exclaimed Shamal, throwing his hands up and making his mosquitoes buzz like crazy. "And now you're –"

"–He hasn't done anything that requires medical attention," interrupted Lambo impatiently. Then his face took on a worried expression. "Or at least I don't think so."

"What do you mean you don't _think_ so?" growled Shamal suspiciously.

Lambo felt a tickling on his arm and looked down. One of Shamal's mosquitoes was marching along his arm with its stinger out. Shamal was glaring at him. Lambo gulped. The mosquito on his arm had now stopped with its stinger still held out, apparently at the ready to input its incurable disease at Shamal's order.

"Uhm!" Lambo's voice had gone up on a high pitch and his hair was frizzing more than ever. "Well, he's locked himself up in his office all day and isn't coming out! Same with Yamamoto!"

Shamal snorted again. He shook his head and the mosquito that was on Lambo flew away, allowing the Lightning Guardian to breath comfortably again.

"So he's locked himself up," Shamal shrugged. "What else is new?"

"What?" Lambo sputtered. "What do you mean what else is new! The last time he locked himself up was when he was trying to commit suicide!"

This news did not seem to alarm Shamal.

"No, that was a misunderstanding," the Doctor said coolly, completely unaffected. "And besides, that kid's been suicidal for a while. But he won't ever actually kill himself."

"How…How do you know that?"

Shamal shrugged. "You said it yourself that I 'know' him. I just do, okay? Now if that's all that you came here to talk about, go away!"

"Wait, but then… What do you think he's doing, just shut up in his office? He's all by himself. We know that for sure. And Yamamoto's all alone with his office on lock-down too. What are they trying to pull?"

"Most likely _nothing_!" said Shamal scornfully. "And why are we talking about Yamamoto? I don't know shit about him! Don't care about him either!"

"But you care about Gokudera, right?" beseeched Lambo, trying to get a helpful answer from the Doctor.

Shamal dodged the question. "Look, _kid_. I don't know what the hell that idiot's doing in his office. But I do know that he won't thank you for nosing around. Now get out!"

Lambo refused to budge. "Look, _Doctor_," he said, with as strong as a resolve as he could muster. "I'll get out once you actually try to use that perverted mind of yours to give me a decent answer! I promise you that I'll get out of here as soon as you tell me what you think!"

"I already told you what I think! They're idiots, the lot of them!" exclaimed Shamal. "What do you want me to say? That they're taking coffee in a café somewhere?"

"No, they're both on lock-down in their offices!" yelled Lambo. "And I want you to tell me what you think is going on inside their minds and how to get them out!"

"I told you I don't know anything about Yamamoto!" shouted Shamal.

"About Gokudera, then!" Lambo yelled right back.

"He's probably just doing his work like people usually do in their work offices!" shouted Shamal. Although the Doctor had yelled to try to shut Lambo up, he was surprised when Lambo actually shut up.

Lambo's mouth was open again. He gaped for a couple of seconds before he regained his words.

"You…you think that he's just doing work? Just work? But he's been there since the crack of dawn and hasn't come out!"

"Maybe he's catching up on missed work or wanted to get ahead. Have you thought of that?" said Shamal contemptuously.

"But he hasn't even come out to go to the restroom!"

"I haven't gone to the restroom since the start of the work day either. In fact, ever since I got here I've been in this office all day," snarled Shamal. "I don't see anyone banging down my door because I'm on "lock-down." Stop reading so much out of nothing!"

"But _you_'re _supposed_ to be in your office!" Lambo cried.

"And _Gokudera's_ _not_?" Shamal shot back.

Lambo clutched at his hair. "Look, just accept that his behavior is weird and just tell me what you think Gokudera's thinking."

"He's thinking the same thing as me: that he wants to have some peace and quiet away from meddling people like _you_!" said Shamal. He had gotten up from his desk and was now pushing Lambo forcibly out of his office. "If you want to know what he's thinking so badly, stop bothering me and go ask him!"

"I tried!" yelled Lambo at the closed office door.

After banging at the locked office door and fuming, Lambo considered the options that were left him. Going to see Gokudera: fail. Checking up with Shamal: fail. Tsuna was still not an option.

Lambo decided to take the only option that was viable: Go to see Yamamoto.

* * *

Lambo wasn't even within ten meters of the main Rain office when the Chief Secretary of Rain smoothly stepped out of nowhere into his path, blocking his way.

"What is up with all the Secretaries?" Lambo cried. "Let me guess, Yamamoto left you a message saying that he didn't want to be disturbed?"

"Well, yes," said the Rain Secretary with the classic calm characteristic of his flame element. "But I also got a call from the Storm Department warning me that you might come."

Lambo cursed under his breath. He felt like the entire Vongola was in some sort of conspiracy plot to keep Gokudera and Yamamoto tucked away from him. And what was up with the Secretary of Storm? He'd probably spent too much time with Gokudera and learned how to read minds or something. Lambo tried to calm down and bargain with the Secretary of Rain.

"Look, yeah, I was at the Storm Department to try to talk with Gokudera. And yeah, I didn't get to talk with him. But I didn't talk with him not because the door was locked, but because I thought that Gokudera might explode or something if I bothered him when he didn't want to be bothered."

Lambo held up a hand to silence the Rain Secretary when he saw that the Secretary was about to interrupt him. He continued speaking to the Rain Secretary, who was looking at him with an expression that indicated forced patience. Lambo did not allow this to deter him.

"Now, you and I and everyone knows that Yamamoto won't blow up on me or blow me up if I just try to see him, so can you please just let me try?"

The Rain Secretary sighed but didn't move from his position.

"It doesn't matter who's more likely to get annoyed with you," he said wisely. "If you've shown Gokudera enough respect to leave him alone, it seems only fair that you show Yamamoto the same respect as well."

"Look, if we're going to be talking about respect, then what do you call what they're doing? Locking themselves away like this? _They're_ disrespecting _us_!" Lambo insisted.

"Period D is going to end in a couple of minutes," said the Secretary of Rain, looking at his watch. "And then it'll be lunchtime. I wager that they might come out of their offices then. Why don't you wait a few minutes and see what happens?"

The few minutes that Lambo had to wait seemed like forever to the frantic Lightning Guardian. Lambo spent the entirety of that time impatiently pacing the floor in front of the main Rain office's door. He could see the wall-panel on the side showing the burning presence of a strong and pure Rain flame inside the office. The Secretary of Rain patiently but firmly stood guard in front of the office door.

The bell for lunchtime rang. Usually, the workers would immediately jump up from their seats, eager to go on break, but this time, nobody moved. Even when the Chief Secretary cast a warning glance over the room, nobody budged. Even Lambo had stopped pacing.

After a moment, the Rain Secretary sighed and gave up implying that people should go out of the room. Lambo resumed pacing and watching the office door restlessly. From outside, the sounds of people talking and bustling around seemed louder and more enthusiastic than usual, but everyone in the Department resisted the temptation to mingle and stayed where they were.

Then something happened that completely shattered all the rumors that had been building-up since the morning.

Gokudera strolled into the Rain Department.

A hush, and then a clamor rose up.

The Chief Secretary of Rain looked mildly surprised, but regained his composure quickly and greeted the Storm Guardian with a smile. Lambo merely gaped for the third time that day.

"Lambo," Gokudera said casually, as though he didn't know that everyone in the room was staring at him. "Should have known that you'd be here and not at work. I got your note. Funny story that my Secretary told me about you. He did a great job. I picked out an excellent Secretary, that's for sure," he said proudly.

Lambo was still speechless.

The Storm Guardian shot a smile at the Rain Secretary. "And so did Yamamoto, I see. I guess he did _something_ right," he continued with an affectionate tone.

The Secretary smiled back proudly at a job well done and stepped away from the door, clearing the way for Gokudera.

"What the!" protested Lambo, regaining his powers of speech. "You block _me_ from the door but let _him_ through? What sort of double standard is this? And Gokudera–"

"–Don't freak out. I'm not going to barge in on him or even touch his door," said Gokudera, pulling out his phone. "You do know that we all have phones, right? You could have just called."

"I thought it'd be more polite and fitting to speak face-to-face," said Lambo stiffly, trying to keep from freaking out.

"And right you are! I see that you _have_ matured these past couple of years!" Gokudera said approvingly, glancing at Lambo as he texted Yamamoto. "By the way, if you want to talk, we can meet tonight sometime after office hours."

Right then, the Rain office doors slid open and out stepped Yamamoto.

Yamamoto glanced around the still-packed Department with slightly widened eyes but didn't say anything. He put his phone in his back pocket and smiled at Gokudera and his Secretary in turn. The Rain Department burst out into a renewed wave of clamor and even some cheers were heard.

Yamamoto tossed a file of documents to Gokudera, who caught it deftly.

"All the day's work done! Just like I said I'd be able to do if I really focused! Hah, now you have to take me out to somewhere nice!"

Gokudera looked at the file in his hands and grinned. "I didn't think you had the concentration enough to do it, but I guess you did. Right, I'll think of something. Come on."

"W-wait," stammered Lambo, starting to lose his cool. "So what exactly's going on here?"

"I bet Gokudera that if we both got all our work done by lunchtime, he had to take me somewhere fun so we could hang out. Of course, Gokudera has all his work done, so it was up to me to see what I could do, and I did it!" said Yamamoto excitedly and happily. "So now we're going to take the rest of the day off to have fun and relax, cuz we haven't done that in a while."

Gokudera rolled his eyes and tugged at Yamamoto's sleeve. "Just come on. People are staring."

"W-wait," stammered Lambo again. "So you guys had a bet that one of you had the buy the other one lunch and _that's_ why you've locked yourselves away for the whole day?"

"What about actually working on the morning shift screams suspicious to you? And, might I add, the morning shift is hardly the whole day." said Gokudera, tilting his head. "And talking about bets, I bet that _you_ haven't got hardly _any_ of your work done."

"I was worried about you! I wanted to check-up on you and make sure that you were alright!"

"Thank you for your concern, although we didn't need it, but if you were so concerned, why _didn't_ you just check-up?"

"Your Secretary stopped me!" exclaimed Lambo, waving his hands. "That's why I wrote the note cuz your Secretary told me to!"

"Ah yes," said Gokudera, starting to laugh. "He was a bit more intense about that than I intended. I think he's a bit irritated because the workers aren't doing as well as they used to. Of course, that was my fault, but I'm fixing that now," he concluded, sobering up.

"And your secretary stopped me, too!" continued Lambo, directing towards the Rain Secretary. "He literally blocked the door!"

Gokudera started laughing again. "My Secretary called you, didn't he?" he asked the Rain Secretary.

The Secretary of Rain smiled widely. "With explicit instructions not to let Lambo in the Rain office," he affirmed.

"As much as I'm sure that Lambo was frustrated, I'm rather glad that he didn't come into the office," spoke up Yamamoto. "I only just got done with my work so if he'd come in, I wouldn't have been done by lunchtime and I would have lost the bet!"

"And what a tragedy that would have been," said Gokudera sarcastically, grinning. "Now come on. Let's get out of Vongola."

The Storm and Rain Guardian walked out of the Department together, leaving everyone else behind.

"So we're going off the base?" asked Yamamoto as they made their way to the exit, a little hushed with surprise. He fingered his blazer lapels in slight nerves. It would be the first time that he and Gokudera were going on a non-work related outing outside the Vongola base since they'd been captured.

"Off the base," nodded Gokudera. "We need to have some time to ourselves away from the Mafia, even if it's only for one afternoon." Then, as though he knew what Yamamoto was feeling, he reached out and squeezed the other man's hand in a gesture of reassurance and comfort.

As they put in their flames on the final reinforced door that would lead them outside the base, Yamamoto suddenly grinned at Gokudera as wide as he ever had.

Gokudera couldn't help smiling back. "What is it?"

"You know," said Yamamoto in infinite contentment as he slung an arm around Gokudera's shoulders. "This is the first time that you were the one to initiate a date,"

Smiling, the two of them, Yamamoto with his head high and Gokudera shaking his head, walked off to spend a glorious afternoon together.

* * *

**Right, so things are definitely looking up, and if things go as I plan, they'll keep on looking up.**

**Tell me your thoughts!**

**Review, please.**


	10. Keeping with the Code

**This chapter was _so_ hard to write.**

**I tried to mix a bit of frustration and connection together, but I don't know how well it worked.**

**Hope you like.**

* * *

"Wow, it's… been quite a while, hasn't it?"

Yamamoto marveled at the sights in the city as he walked. He and Gokudera were walking along the sidewalk of the wide main street, admiring the shops and looking at the cars rushing past them. To blend in, they had changed out of their formal business suits and were wearing casual clothes. Yamamoto almost felt like he and Gokudera were normal civilians going on an outing.

The Rain Guardian stretched out an arm and swept it out in an arc in front of him in a grand gesture. He took in a deep breath, and although the air was inevitably polluted metropolitan air, it felt clean and fresh.

"I mean, look at all this! It's like I've never seen anything like this before!"

Gokudera rolled his eyes. It was casual enough to be walking an agreeably public place where no one would dare attack them, but Gokudera hadn't forgotten the ambush from a few years ago and he checked the gun that he had hidden under his jacket. The Mafia code that the Vindice enforced to the utmost precision stated that Mafia activities, particularly violent or militaristic ones, were to be kept away and secret from ordinary civilians, but code or no code, he had come prepared.

"Don't be so loud," he said a little sternly, but then smiled. "People will think that you're a tourist and they'll try to rip us off."

"No, they won't. And I don't look like a tourist! But anyways, if they do, I'll flash them this," Yamamoto said confidently, characteristically joking but not being so happy-go-lucky as he usually might be. "Look."

He unzipped his hoodie and lifted his shirt a little to give Gokudera a glimpse of several throwing daggers and a small katana strapped to his chest. Although Yamamoto kept a smile on his face, his expression turned halfway serious and he put a hand on Gokudera's shoulder.

"Don't worry. I won't let anything happen to us this time," he said, looking Gokudera straight in the face.

The silver-haired man was touched by Yamamoto's powerful promise, but didn't show it on his face. He turned his head away and looked down the street.

"If we stay on the main street, within the public view, no one will dare try anything. And anyways, I think it's me that does the better job of keeping things from going to shit," he said, but he reached up to his shoulder and squeezed the Rain Guardian's hand in a gesture of appreciation.

The two went down the street slowly, Gokudera enjoying the sights and strange sense of security that Yamamoto had given him, and Yamamoto enjoying the sights, the sense of trust that Gokudera had given him, and the feeling of the other man under his arm.

Suddenly the right-hand man of Vongola laughed, doubling over and slapping his knee.

"Well, I'm _impressed_!" he exclaimed, referring to Yamamoto's hidden weapons. "I _never _thought you would have had it in you!"

"What, the knives?" asked Yamamoto, feeling very pleased with himself.

"_Shh!_" Gokudera hushed him, still laughing but holding a finger to his smiling lips. "But yes. You came prepared!"

"Did _you_?" the Rain Guardian teased. Everybody in the Mafia knew that Gokudera wouldn't dream of going anywhere without enough explosives to take out a small army.

Gokudera, having been at the top level for so long, wasn't even proud about being well-prepared anymore. To him, it was just something that obviously had to be done.

"Don't be ridiculous. Of course I did. But _you_!" he laughed again. "You've been hanging around with me for too long!"

Even though Gokudera's words were virtually the same as the fighting words that the other Guardians had said when they had had that disastrous meeting (Chapter 6: Surpassing All Limits), coming from the man himself they felt like nothing other but the highest praise to Yamamoto.

"It's what everyone keeps telling me," he said cheerfully, putting his chin up. He poked Gokudera affectionately. "And also, I knew you would let me have it if I didn't bring anything to defend myself."

The other man shook his silver head, smiling. "At any rate… I like it," he said, making the recipient of his words feel like he was on the top of the world.

They went into a random café, bought drinks, and sat themselves away from the window as was the basic rule to prevent attacks by possible hidden snipers. They sipped their drinks, feeling like free men.

"It's funny, isn't it?" remarked Yamamoto, feeling awed at being in the city again. "The base is so huge and varied that it's almost its own little world, and yet there was this real world all along."

If Gokudera had been feeling sarcastic, he might have asked what Yamamoto meant by implying that the Vongola wasn't 'real,' but at that moment, he though he understood perfectly what the other man had meant.

"I know," he said, looking across the café and outside the window at the blue sky. "It's almost like we were in prison and now we're free. Or at least on parole."

Yamamoto chocked on his drink in startled laughter.

"I _never _thought you would compare the _Vongola_ to _prison_!" he exclaimed while coughing.

"_Shh!_" Gokudera hushed again, automatically putting his hand to where his gun was. "Do you want everyone to know that we're Vongola?" he whisper yelled. "At least _try_ to act like you're a proper Mafioso, will you?"

"Ah, they don't even know what the Vongola is," Yamamoto said dismissively, waving a hand at the rest of the people in the café, but he, too, put his other hand to his knives just in case.

Gokudera, eyes sharp and mind astute as always, noticed Yamamoto subtle gesture.

'Oh wow… he really has become a lot like me. Always halfway on guard.' The Storm Guardian felt partly proud and partly sad at the same time at this realization. 'Does this mean that we've become too indoctrinated? I mean, I've been like this for as long as I can remember, but he didn't use to be like this before….'

Gokudera tried to push back his slight feeling of uneasiness at Yamamoto's change.

"Probably they don't know… but still." He couldn't resist adding the last two words. It was part of his nature to be a little overtly cautious, but when had it also become Yamamoto's? He again tried to shake away his slight worry.

"D'you… ever regret going into the Mafia?" asked Yamamoto quietly but suddenly.

"Ah, stop reading so much into my comparison with the Vongola and prison!" Gokudera said, showing his characteristic irritableness but keeping his voice down. "And you already know the answer to that question."

"Uhm… so you don't regret it?" Yamamoto cracked a small smile. "Well, of course you wouldn't. I mean, you're only like the right-hand man of the top Mafia Family."

"No, listen," replied Gokudera firmly. He lowered his voice. "It's great being in Vongola and all, now that I'm in it, but you know that I was born into the Mafia in general. So I technically never went into the Mafia. I've always been in it."

"Oh, don't be so literal," replied the Rain Guardian. "You know what I mean. I mean whether you ever wish that you weren't in the Mafia."

"You're beginning to remind me of the rumors the common workers have made up," Gokudera complained, running his fingers through his hair. "You know, the one that they made up recently about how we're planning to run away to Antarctica because we're tired of the Mafia or whatever?"

Yamamoto continued looking at him, clearly not buying his attempt at to change the subject and get out of answering the question.

"No, if you really insist on me answering," growled Gokudera. "I _haven't_ ever wanted to leave, although I do admit to having thought about that possibility. Actually, no, what am I even talking about? It's not even a possibility."

Yamamoto was strangely comforted at knowing, or at least being told, that Gokudera hadn't ever considered leaving the Mafia. He knew that the other man literally had nowhere to go if he left the Mafia and he didn't want to think of Gokudera wanting to leave but being unable to and feeling miserable. But when he had gotten over his relief, he was curious about one aspect of what Gokudera had said.

"Why not even a possibility?"

The right-hand man of Vongola stared at him with a disbelieving look. He had his mouth slightly open in an expression that made Yamamoto get a flashback to when they had been teenagers and Gokudera used to give him the same look when he thought that he was being slow or stupid.

"Do you _not know_ the Mafia code?" The adult Gokudera asked incredulously in the same tone that his teenage version would have used. "Really? You didn't learn it? Not even when you became a Guardian? Not even after I practically _begged_ everyone to read the code book at least once? Not even to prepare for the Mafia Meeting? Not even after we got captured? It's only, like, one of the _oldest_ rules of Mafia! And you _don't know_ it?"

Yamamoto was feeling slightly guilty. It was true that Gokudera had very nearly pleaded with everyone to familiarize themselves with the code, and Yamamoto had studied it diligently in the past, but unfortunately he had forgotten a lot of the propositions since then.

"I'm sorry!" he cried, putting his hands up in a half-apologetic, half-defensive gesture. "I _did_ study the code, but I just forgot some of it, that's all! You can coach me on it and help me learn it to your heart's content when we get back to the base, deal?"

"Oh, don't worry. I'll make _sure_ you memorize _every single one_ of the premises in the code when we get back," Gokudera vowed rather forebodingly. "I can't _believe_ you don't know that rule. You do at least have the basic code book, right?"

Yamamoto nodded. "It should be in one of my office desk drawers somewhere."

Even though Gokudera had basically promised to drill him on the code until he dropped, Yamamoto couldn't help starting to laugh. The type of Gokudera who fixed his collar and fiercely whipped everyone into line was the type of Gokudera that he was the most familiar with, the one that he had fell in love with.

Gokudera laughed along with Yamamoto, although he wasn't entirely sure why the other man was laughing, and then muttered, "I would have thought that even if you didn't remember anything else, you would at least know _that_ one."

This was even more mystifying to Yamamoto than his previous statement.

"Wait…Why particularly this one?"

"Because well…" Gokudera smiled shortly, tilting his head a little embarrassedly. "It's one that you wouldn't find very… pleasant. That's why I thought you'd remember it. The Vongola actually doesn't follow it because Tsuna doesn't like it."

"Uhm… okay. So if the Vongola doesn't follow it, it's not exactly a rule, is it? Otherwise the Vindice would be after us by now, right?"

"Well… the Vongola has never actually had to go one way or the other with this rule because the occasion hadn't come up so far. I just know what Tsuna's stance on this matter is because I ran it past him after I was inducted in as the right-hand man," the right-hand man replied. "But no, strictly speaking, it's not an _official_ rule. It's mostly tradition, but it's strong enough to almost be considered a _tacit_ rule."

Gokudera paused and quickly looked around. "Look, do you want me to explain it right now, or…?"

Yamamoto nodded, his curiosity having been piqued. Besides, he loved it whenever Gokudera talked about the workings of the Mafia. Knowing that the human encyclopedia and human weapon in front of him was on his side and was the right-hand man of his Family always made him feel proud and secure.

"Okay, but I'm not comfortable talking about it in this café. Let's go to a more isolated place so we won't get overheard and dragged off to an asylum." Gokudera said, getting up.

'This is getting more and more mysterious. Just what _is_ this rule if Gokudera is worried that we'll be thought of as mentally insane if someone hears us?" Yamamoto wondered as he followed the other man outside the café to a more secluded location.

* * *

After a little bit of walking, during which Gokudera scoped out the street for a safe, secure, and secluded location in which they could discuss the code, they arrived at a bookstore.

"This'll do," Gokudera announced, as he went in.

The two Mafiosos went up the third floor of the bookstore, where there was hardly anyone, and went further back to the far corner where the sections for textbooks on greatly advanced engineering and for tomes on high-level philosophy met. They sat, glanced around and checked one more time to make sure that no one was within earshot, and leaned back the bookshelves. Yamamoto looked at Gokudera expectantly.

"So, the rule?" the Rain Guardian asked.

"Okay, the rule. Like I said, it's not officially a rule. In fact, it may not even be written in the code book, now that I think about it, except maybe as a footnote," Gokudera said. "The Vindice won't destroy a Mafia Family if it doesn't follow this 'rule,' like they do with the more severe transgressions, but they'll send an agent or a document to ask why the 'rule' wasn't followed."

"Okay, that's great and all, Gokudera," said Yamamoto. "But _what's the rule_?"

Gokudera sighed. "Alright, alright. Calm down. I'm just trying to walk you through it."

"Well, how complicated is it?" asked Yamamoto impatiently.

"It's a bit extensive," the right-hand man said seriously, "But what it basically says at its core is that if anyone commits apostasy against the Mafia or against a Mafia Family, they're to be killed. And usually, their relatives and friends are killed as well. There's a specific type of ceremony that goes with this."

"'Commits apostasy'… " Yamamoto frowned. "What's that mean?"

"It means deserting. Leaving the Mafia. Cutting your allegiances."

"And you're supposed to be _killed_ for that?" yelped Yamamoto. "And also your friends and family? Can't a person be allowed to change their goddamn mind? And why their friends and family?"

"I told you that you wouldn't find it very pleasant!" said Gokudera, as though he thought his earlier statement had been a suitable warning. "I'm just telling you what the code traditionally is! But, at any rate, why are you so surprised? If you think about it, it makes a lot of sense."

"You think everything that has to do with the Mafia makes a lot of sense! To kill someone for changing their mind? Really? How does that make sense?" Yamamoto cried.

"Look, don't get so carried away with the killing part. Think of it as a way to make sure that your secrets don't get out. And it's not as simple as just changing your mind. That's the logical fallacy of a faulty comparison," Gokudera said didactically. "These traditions and rules were all made for a reason."

"Yes, to be broken!"

"Don't be childish," said Gokudera brusquely. "_Think_ about it. If a common minor worker working off base for Vongola left us, then that might be fine, but what if _I_ left? If _I_ go and join another Family, then I take _all_ the Vongola's secrets with me. I know where the all the secret headquarters are; I know all the hidden passageways; I know where we keep all our weapons, and even if I didn't, I could recreate the designs for most of them; I can unlock all the doors except for Tsuna's office; I know _all_ our plans and _everything_ about us. If I committed apostasy and joined another Family, the Vongola would fall just like _that_," he said, snapping his fingers for emphasis.

"Okay, maybe it would," Yamamoto conceded, "But that's not a problem because you're _not_ going to desert!"

"It's not _maybe_ it would; It _would_," said Gokudera firmly. "And you know that I'm not just saying that out of pride. And no, I'll never desert, but that's _not_ the _point_! Do you understand that if I deserted, you'd _have_ to kill me?"

"You say that like you have plans to desert," sniffed Yamamoto, still feeling unhappy about the rule.

Gokudera rolled his eyes. "Look, if you so badly want to believe that I'm going to leave the Mafia, you can believe that if you want. But it'll never happen."

After a moment of stiffly staring at the bookshelf in front of him, Yamamoto suddenly whirled around to stare at Gokudera.

"But… if, like you say, people who desert are killed, how come _you're_ still alive? Not that I'm not glad that you're alive, but… And what about Shoichi and Spanner?"

"Finally, a decent question," the right-hand man said approvingly, nodding his silver head.

"Okay, so here's how it goes," he began to explain. "For me, I was never officially inducted into my family's Mafia Family, and since I was just a kid, I didn't know anything about how the Family worked. I knew the basic general Mafia code and such, but that was it. So there was no particular reason to kill me. Well, dishonor might be a reason, but I'm a bastard so I was never really associated with my family's Family anyways. You follow what I'm saying so far?"

Yamamoto nodded slowly, then asked, "But what about the Families that you were in for short periods of time?"

"I'm getting to that. For the various other Families that I was in for short periods of time, I was similarly not part of them officially, and besides, it's not considered desertion if you don't leave willingly. I was kicked out, so it would have been sort of hypocritical for them to kill me for desertion."

"And Shoichi and Spanner?"

"Now, _their_ situation comes much closer to apostasy. But their situation was unique in that their Family, the Millefiore, was getting invaded at the time that they switched allegiances, so it wasn't like they gave us any secrets that we didn't have a basic idea about before. The Millefiore sort of fell apart into a disorganized group of different sub-sections after we attacked, so there really wasn't any sort of Family to carry out the code on them after they joined us anyways."

The Rain Guardian was very quiet when the Storm had finished speaking. He nodded again and closed his eyes. Gokudera was beginning to think that maybe Yamamoto had fallen asleep when he suddenly opened his eyes and asked another question.

"You mentioned some sort of ceremony. What is it?"

Gokudera frowned. "There… are different versions. Since killing the person who committed apostasy is essentially a type of punishment or revenge, if you like, it varies depending on how the particular Family wants to go about it."

"The usual way that it's done, then."

"Alright." Gokudera was feeling a little uneasy about how Yamamoto was being inquisitive about the killing ceremony, but decided to tell him anyway. "The usual way that it's done is like this. See, since people usually don't just desert a Family without having plans to or already having had betrayed their current Family to another one, the deserter is captured and then dressed in the clothes that he was wearing when the betrayed Family first finds out that it was being betrayed. Of course, since the deserter is sometimes away at that time, the clothing is sometimes just an approximation, but most everyone tries to recreate it as accurately as possible."

Gokudera coughed a little before resuming his description.

"And then the person is tied to a pole, hands behind their back. They're nearly always tied to a pole at the main headquarter gates, because it's symbolic that way. Then they're starved for about a month, and given only water during that period. Of course they get, you know, messy, after a month or so of being tied up at a pole without being let down, so after being starved, they're let off the pole, someone strips them and hoses them down and the clothes are washed, and then they get their clothes put back on them and get taken back to the gates. Then they're hung, usually in front of an assembled crowd. And that's the ceremony," he ended.

There was a silence.

"The ceremonial killing is really extensive because it's supposed to deter people from deserting or betraying the Family. It's a fear thing," Gokudera said, wondering if Yamamoto had been shocked speechless.

After another moment of silence, Yamamoto finally spoke.

"What's going to happen if someone says that they want to desert or just deserts from Vongola?" The Rain Guardian turned to the right-hand man.

"Or, rather, what will you do to them?"

Gokudera shrugged. "Most likely, if they come to us and say that they want to leave, Tsuna will probably let them go and trust that they won't betray us. We'd probably keep tabs on them for a good long while, though, depending on how much information they have about us."

"And if they desert without warning? If they betray us?"

"Well, if they desert without warning, that's basically proof that they have plans to betray us. If we're betrayed, we may be in no position to do anything about it because we may have already been attacked and have different problems to focus on."

"But if they betray us and we catch on before any serious damage is done, what will you do?" Yamamoto persisted.

"Shoot them," Gokudera said. "We won't go through the ceremony: Even if we wanted to, we don't need it because the Vongola's powerful enough that we don't need an additional fear factor. I'll just send a sniper or a bomber. It'll be quick," he said, moving his flat hand through the air in a cutting motion.

Yamamoto was quiet again.

"For God's sake!" exclaimed Gokudera, exasperated. "If you were going to be this disturbed by the code, then you shouldn't have asked me what the ceremony was!"

"It's just that… when we were captured," Yamamoto began hesitantly, "and… you were tortured, I thought that this type of brutality was only with individual Families. I didn't know that there was this universal code overstretching Mafia that was this cruel. When…when I put myself through the induction to officially join Vongola, I did it because, well, partly because _you_ did, but partly because I thought that it was my best bet to protect the people I care about. I mean, isn't that Tsuna's resolution? To protect the people he cares about?"

"The Mafia's violent as a part of its structure," said Gokudera, feeling more exasperated. "It's inherently violent. What's protection about? It's about doing whatever it takes to keep your things, your friends, your family, safe. And if defense isn't enough, you have to counter-attack."

"I didn't sign up for all this violence."

Gokudera clutched his hair, wild-eyed.

"Look," he said fiercely. "You're feeling all shitty because you think you're doing more bad than good in the Mafia, but think about what the Vongola's doing. We're stopping the illegal flow of hard drugs, we're preventing human trafficking, and we're encouraging the other Families to move aboveground and pay their taxes by setting a good example. What's to feel bad about that?"

Yamamoto snapped his head towards Gokudera and looked him straight in the face again.

"If I left Vongola, or if I betrayed Vongola, what would you do?"

"Would you stop with the hypothetical situations?" snapped Gokudera.

"This is the last. Just answer this last one."

"I already told you! If you told us that you wanted to leave, and that you were absolutely determined to go, we'd let you go but we'd keep tabs on you. Probably for years and years, maybe even for the rest of your life, because you know so much."

"And if I betrayed you?"

"_Stop_ it, will you? You _know_ how I have to answer to that question."

"So you'd have me shot?"

"Takeshi!" Gokudera yelled, losing his temper, "I _want_ to say 'no,' okay? But I _can't_! So don't take it _personally_, okay? You're very… _important_ to me, but if you betrayed me, we'd be over, and I'd be completely fucking hurt and angry at you, and I'd probably want to shoot you then. But don't fucking worry. If you sold us out, I'd probably be dead before you anyway."

Yamamoto stared at the bookshelf in front of him for a good long while after Gokudera's outburst. Then he suddenly hugged Gokudera. When he pulled away, Gokudera saw that he was beaming.

"What the hell?" he asked, entirely caught off guard.

Yamamoto took Gokudera's hand and held it as he leaned back happily against the engineering books that were at his back.

"I'll never leave Vongola," he said. "Vongola's what brought us together."

Gokudera started smiling, but quickly repressed it.

"I've never heard such absolute rubbish," he said, but he relaxed against the philosophy books and tightened his hold on Yamamoto's hand.

* * *

**I think it's terribly ironic that Gokudera and Yamamoto went out of the base to get away from Mafia, but then ended up talking a whole load about the Mafia code. (The 'code' was inspired by real-life incidences in which gang members leave their gangs, btw.)**

**But what do you expect? The Mafia's their life and it's all they know.**

**For the next chapter, I'm thinking of another gathering for the Mafia Families. Like, a big party or some other casual event. What do you think?**

**Review, please.**


	11. Time to get Friendly

**This chapter is mostly just to lay down some facts. **

**Hope it's not too confusing or boring.**

* * *

For a whole eight months, the Vongola was calm. There was no fighting (except for training) inside or outside the Vongola, and things were so calm to the point of almost being boring.

Although Gokudera and Yamamoto now had a pretty much established relationship, they hadn't moved in with each other. The Storm absolutely refused to move out of his apartment and refused to let Yamamoto move in, but had finally consented to having a passageway built to connect his Storm apartment with Yamamoto's Rain apartment. Shoichi had scrambled the apartments with his impressive building rearrangement device so that the Rain and Storm were put next to each other. Then, all that needed to be done was for a wall to be removed and the two apartments were connected via a cut-out doorway.

Both the Rain and Storm mostly kept to their own side of the connected apartments, needing to have at least a small sense of autonomy, but it was not unusual for one to occasionally hang-out and relax at the other person's side. They even sometimes invited the other Guardians or various different workers for dinner when they had both the time and the inclination.

All in all there was no drama and all was at peace. Sadly, it couldn't last.

Gokudera went to his office one day, thinking that everything would be as usual. When he checked his work inbox as the first thing he routinely did after he turned on his computer, there was nothing unusual, but when he rechecked it during Period D, he saw that he had a new message. It was from the Tiagaro Family, which the Vongola was on good but not exceptionally friendly terms with.

Gokudera read the message from the Tiagaro. Then read it again. Then hit speed-dial for Tsuna.

"Hello? Gokudera?" Tsuna picked up the phone from his office.

Gokudera got straight to the point.

"Have you seen the message? From the Tiagaro Family?"

"Err… no." There was sound of ruffling papers and the knock of a cup of pens falling over on Tsuna's side. "Give me a minute."

On the other side of the phone line, Gokudera could hear the clicking of a computer mouse then a quiet intake of breath.

"_Again?_" Tsuna's voice sounded dismayed. "_Another _Mafia Meeting?"

"Well, it's not formal like the last time was. It's supposed to just be a socialization event, but…" Gokudera shrugged even though Tsuna couldn't see him. "You know that no one's going to go there to actually just socialize. It's an information-hunting event under the thin disguise of a socialization event."

Tsuna let out a stressed breath that rattled with static.

"Don't worry too much about it," Gokudera assured. "Look, I'll come over to your office so we can talk properly."

The Sky of Vongola didn't look any less stressed than he had sounded when the Storm entered his office.

"And just how much do we have to prepare for this?" Tsuna asked.

Gokudera sat himself down, tilted his head, and thought. "We don't," he finally said. "Not when it's with the Tiagaro."

"Why not because of the Tiagaro?"

"What, you don't know? Oh… it's because there haven't been any Mafia wars recently," Gokudera half-exclaimed and half-muttered to himself. Having spent his early childhood learning the history of Mafia, he was sometimes quite astonished at how much Tsuna still lacked in what he had known to be basic knowledge. It was like a regular civilian not knowing the First World War from the Second World War.

"You know basic World History, right, Tsuna?" Gokudera began. Tsuna nodded. "Right, then you'll understand what I mean when I say that the Tiagaro is the Mafia's Switzerland."

"The Mafia's Switzerland? They're a _neutral_ Family? But… I don't quite understand. Mafia Families take sides?"

"They do during wars. During the Mafia Wars, the Tiagaro was noted for staying out of everyone's conflict. I mean, it was partly luck that they managed to be the only Family to stay neutral, but they also have a good deal of force. Their resources are impressive, and their strongholds are among the best-fortified. We don't have to arm ourselves when they're hosting, because they won't allow weapons in the first place. No one has ever managed to sneak anything into one of their events. And only one incident has ever happened in which one of their invites started a fight and that whole Family was immediately kicked out. The Tiagaro wouldn't host an event like this if they weren't sure that they could keep it secure."

"Oh," said Tsuna, relaxing a bit. "So there's nothing to worry about, then?"

"I wouldn't say that," said Gokudera. "If we don't fight physically, we'll be doing all that and more verbally. The other thing with the Tiagaro is that their events are like golfing events for regular businessmen. They don't host an event unless there's something that they're trying to get out of it."

"So what do you think they're trying to get out of this one? I mean…" Tsuna looked back at the message and reread the list of Mafia Family names that were listed at the end. "Look at all the Families that they invited! How do they even have enough money to host this sort of outrageously huge event all by themselves?"

"They made a lot of money during the Wars," Gokudera said. "They basically sold firearms to everyone and anyone who had money. And they're traditionally just a very old Family with old money. But anyways, with the Vongola, they'll be curious about two things. One, they'll want to know why we're moving aboveground into the legal realm, so we'll have to think of a better answer than just 'It's the right thing to do.' Second, everyone's curious as to why Yamamoto and I destroyed _that_ Family a few years back. They didn't dare ask us then because they were being cautious, but now people are talking again."

Tsuna's face darkened. "And what are you going to tell them about the second one?"

"I'll say that they stepped out of line one too many times," Gokudera said coolly, but he was starting to wish that he had brought Yamamoto with him so that the Rain could calm him down.

Tsuna thankfully dropped the subject and moved on. "Anything else?"

"In general terms, they'll want to know where all the Families stand with one another. If this wasn't a socialization event but a business event, they might try to market their weapons, but they won't do that this time."

"So how should we behave if this isn't a business event?"

"Extremely polite. Very mannered. The rudest that it'll get is that people will act a little cold, but no one will dare do anything to cause anyone serious offense. Everything is nuance. In outward appearance, we must appear to be nothing but the friendliest people, but we have to keep our minds sharp and use our wits every moment. We can't slip up. Ever."

Tsuna grabbed his head. He was very friendly with those he already knew, but he never quite knew how to conduct himself around strangers. And now he had to act friendly with people who he knew would very well stab him in the back at the first chance they got.

"Can we take the Varia?" Tsuna asked. "I know that they're not the most polite people around, but… they'll make me feel better."

Gokudera frowned. "How do you suggest that we get Squalo into their event when his weapon is part of his body? No, we can't take him."

Tsuna groaned. "You know, weapons or no weapons, I'd actually like to feel a little secure! How many people can we take? Can we take all the Guardians at least?"

"No." said Gokudera firmly. He had already formulated a plan. "The message says that we can take ten people and we're going to take only those who know when and how to talk and who know when and how to keep silent. Not all of the Guardians can do that. We're going to pick and choose out of anyone in Vongola who is high position and who can keep their wits up in a social event."

"So who can we take?" cried Tsuna, feeling a bit overwhelmed.

The right-hand man held out a hand. "Give me a piece of paper, please, so I can think."

The Sky handed the Storm a sheet of paper and a pen and waited while Gokudera scribbled down names. Then, with a final nod, he copied the same ten names for himself and handed Tsuna the other copy.

"You, of course, me, my Chief Secretary Damien, Yamamoto, Mukuro, Chrome, Xanxus, Belphegor, Shoichi, and Bianchi," he said, feeling very satisfied with his list.

"What?" Tsuna yelped. "You leave out the majority of the Guardians but you want to take Xanxus and Belphegor? Are you out of your mind?"

"You'll see," said Gokudera, still smiling with satisfaction. "I'm going to call a meeting directly after lunch with the ten I just mentioned. I'll explain then." With that, the Storm swept out the door.

* * *

"Oh, I'm so bored. I wish Gokudera was here," thought Yamamoto as he rifled through his desk, desperate for something to do. Then he heard a knock on his door.

"Come in!" he called, delighted at having company even though he didn't know who the company was. After a moment, he realized that his office door had automatically locked itself on default mode after he had entered his office that morning, and got up from his desk to open the door.

He was five steps from the door when the doors opened. It was Gokudera.

"You know," the Storm said casually, as though barging into someone else's office was something he did every day. He closed the door behind him. "You should really get your lock updated so I can't just walk in here."

"What brings you here?" Yamamoto nearly shouted out of excitement, ignoring the comment about his door lock. "I was just thinking about you!"

"Instead of doing your work?" retorted Gokudera, but he smiled.

"I'll have you know that I'm done with my work! Anyways, speak for yourself? What are you doing here instead of doing _your _work?"

"I am doing my work! I came to tell you that we're going to have a meeting after lunch today."

Yamamoto suddenly smirked, knowing that he could get the upper hand. "Ah, but that's just an excuse," he said triumphantly. "You could have called or just sent a text like you usually do when you call meetings! You came to my office because you just wanted to see me."

Gokudera knew he had been caught and started to put on a nonchalant act but then couldn't help laughing. "Alright, so you caught me. Congratulations. But we really are going to have a meeting and I'm just telling you."

"What's the meeting about? Oh, and please sit!" Yamamoto led Gokudera to the couch that he kept on one side of his huge office. They both sat down.

"So, the meeting?"

"The meeting is going to be about this Mafia socialization event that's coming up in the next couple weeks," said Gokudera. "We don't need to train, but we do need to whip up our manners. There's a certain… way that you have to behave at these gatherings."

"Who's coming besides the Vongola?" Yamamoto asked, thinking about the awkwardness of the last Mafia Meeting ("What they were, What they are"- Chapter 2: Mafia Meeting).

"Basically… everyone," Gokudera admitted. "All the big Families, at least."

Yamamoto looked Gokudera up and down. "You seem awfully calm about it. You're not worried at all?"

"The last time was… bad, because that was official and I didn't know what to expect, but now that I've faced it once, I can face it again. Besides, there won't be any craziness at a Tiagaro event."

"Ah, the Tiagaro," said Yamamoto, understanding the Family name's significance and immediately relaxing. While they had been living together, Yamamoto had learned quite a lot about Mafia history and, of course, the code, from his housemate. "Well, nothing to worry about, then."

"Why does everybody keep saying that?" the Storm said, a little annoyed, but he was proud that Yamamoto knew about the Tiagaro without him having to explain. "We do have to put in quite a bit of effort in preparing. But anyways, I'll explain it better at the meeting, so I'll say it all at once then."

He pulled out his phone and texted his chosen members about the closed meeting that he was calling. Yamamoto waited until all of them had replied affirmative before speaking with a grin.

"See? I _told_ ya that you don't generally see people face to face to tell them about meetings!"

Gokudera sighed and shook his head in mock ruefulness. "You know me too well. I'm beginning to think that it was the worst idea I ever had to move in with you."

"You _didn't_ move in with me, technically," said Yamamoto, being literal. "We combined our apartments."

"Same difference!"

The bell rang. They both got up from the couch and headed for lunch. Picking up their plates and heading for the roof, they sat in the sunlight and ate. After they had finished eating, they just looked up into the sky and over the base. Gokudera was thinking.

"The reason why I first refused to move in together," he said slowly, saying his words as he thought them, "is because it just sounded like such a big deal. Putting our apartments together didn't, for some reason. It felt like I still had my own space, you know?"

Yamamoto didn't know where this was going, but he nodded to show that he had heard.

"But now that we've put our apartments together, it really is practically the same thing. I mean, we used to hang around each other so much even when we had completely separate apartments that putting our apartments together didn't change anything about our routine except that now we sleep together."

Yamamoto considered this, and nodded again.

"I think," the Rain Guardian said, "that I always had this idea that moving together was a milestone in a relationship, but I don't think it is. Or at least, it shouldn't be. It's just… what some people do out of convenience. I don't feel like we got any closer after we moved in together, but we didn't need to be. Just being in this relationship has made me realize when to step in and when to give you your space."

"You know, this is _exactly_ why I'm in a relationship with you. And it's _exactly_ why I'm taking you with me to the Tiagaro event," said Gokudera with some astonishment. "You know when to step in and when not. That's a really important social rule!"

The bell rang.

"Come on," the right hand man said, getting up and patting his colleague-turned-housemate on the back. "You can show the other people at the meeting how to behave."

* * *

Yamamoto and the other people who had been called were already seated on one side of the table when Gokudera arrived, having taken a detour to stop by his office and pick up some papers. Tsuna was the last to come in, and he closed the door behind him before he sat down.

The closed meeting room was rectangular shaped. A long table was in the middle of the room with the ten called members on one of the long sides and Tsuna and Gokudera on the other. The ten members, unused to being part of such a motley group as the one assembled, were giving each other strange looks.

Gokudera set his documents down on the table and slid each of the files over to the people he had chosen before speaking. The ten read the papers that they had received and then looked up at the two on the other side with questioning eyes.

"Okay," started Tsuna, eyeing the ten, especially Xanxus, nervously. "As you now know, the Tiagaro is hosting a social event in which each Mafia Family can take ten members. Gokudera has chosen you ten, for reasons which I'm not entirely sure about, but I'm sure he'll explain." He looked at the Storm.

"You all know who the Tiagaro is," the Storm Guardian said. "We can't take any weapons, of any kind, and we have to stay calm but cutting at all times. We've all been to Mafia social gatherings in the past, so we know how ruthless they can get. They're an entirely different kind of ruthlessness than with official meetings."

Next to him, Tsuna slightly winced, having no particular confidence in his speaking or socialization abilities. Gokudera figured that maybe he should reassure his boss of his chosen members' qualifications before he told the ten what their tasks were.

"Look Tsuna, I know you're thinking that I'm flying by the seat of my pants, but I'm really not."

He put a hand on Tsuna's shoulder.

"You – well, since you're the boss you _have_ to go, but anyways – you can do this because you have your hyper intuition. I know you're not feeling particularly confident right now, but when you get to the actual event, you'll get serious and your intuition will kick in. And I'll re-brief you on manners and things like that so you'll have the least trouble out of any of us."

Gokudera put the hand on his own chest.

"Me, well I also _have_ to go because of my position, but as you all know, I grew up in the Mafia so… I know basically everything about the way it runs. I had a separate class and tutor for correct decorum, for fuck's sake!"

Yamamoto cracked a smile at his last words.

"Yes, I _know_ I cuss," the right-hand man scowled, "But that's just because I'm disregarding the manners I learned, okay? And besides, cussing isn't a big deal in the Mafia. You just have to be careful with the way that you cuss."

He started going down the table to explain each of his choices to the Vongola boss and gestured towards his Chief Secretary, Damien, while still addressing Tsuna.

"Damien's the same as me that he grew up in a Mafia background, and he's just cool-headed in general. I mean, that's why he's basically my right-hand man. Best of all, he's a smooth talker; He thinks on his feet and can twist anyone's words and spit them back at the speaker and then make it all sound perfectly logical, which is exactly the sort of skill that we need."

Gokudera waved at hand at Yamamoto.

"Him, he's so immersed in Asian traditional culture that he already has the entire nuance thing down. Also, he's picked up a sense of wit somewhere along these years. I can't imagine where."

'From you,' Yamamoto mouthed, grinning. Gokudera scowled at him, thinking that the Rain Guardian's behavior was cute, but wanting to keep the meeting serious.

He tilted his head at Mukuro. Tsuna didn't look very confident in Mukuro's social skills, and Gokudera frankly couldn't blame him, but he felt sure that Mukuro was a good choice.

"Mukuro's …. There's no other way to put it: He's a silky son-of-a-bitch. I admit, although I'm sure I'll live to regret it, that he's suave. That'll carry him through. But he'll have to resist using his illusions when we're with the Tiagaro."

Chrome was sitting quietly in her chair.

"Chrome is very sweet-tempered. She'll be able to tease out a lot of information for us if she plays her cards right. And you know she can. She's done it before."

Xanxus, striking quite a contrast with Chrome, was completely lounging in his chair, balancing it on the back legs with his own legs up on the table. Gokudera cocked on eyebrow at him, but he didn't feel one iota of regret at his choice.

He almost did, though, when Xanxus interrupted the explanation that he was making to Tsuna, flicked a spark of his Flame of Wrath his way, and majestically barked, "Trash, why am I even included in your pansy-ass social gathering convention? I'm the boss of Varia!"

Gokudera resisted from rolling his eyes and put out the spark of Wrath that had set his lapels on fire. Tsuna tried not to burst into his own Dying Will Flames.

"Yes, yes, you're the almighty boss of Varia, the best killing squad in the world, but you were brought up in Vongola so you must have known proper manners in the past before you got all crazy. So please, just play along with us, and I'll get you your tender venison sirloin whatever-the-fuck-it-is-that-you-eat and send you on all the bloody missions that you want. Just give me a call and I'll make it happen. I owe you one."

Xanxus, having been appeased by a combination of flattery and bribes, snorted just one more time before he quieted down and leaned back further in his chair.

Belphegor snickered at his boss and asked, sounding quite deranged, "Bomb-brat, what about me? I'm not leaving my knives behind. Just think of all those people defenseless! I'll have the time of my life! Everyone slashed to pieces! Ushishishishi!"

"And if you tried to do that, you'd get dragged away by the Vindice," said Gokudera, ignoring the creepy laugher. "And you know that. You're just trying to annoy me."

Belphegor laughed harder.

"Shut up!" yelled Xanxus, throwing his file of documents at Bel, who shredded the file with his knives before the papers could hit him on the forehead.

Gokudera activated his Systema C.A.I. and prevented them from fighting any further.

"_Anyways_," he continued, quite irritated, "Bel, _listen_. You say all the time that you're a prince. Well, if you're really a prince, you would have gotten coached on correct decorum. I'll make you the same promise I made Xanxus. You can go on all the missions you want if you just do this one thing. That image you just got in your head with people slashed to pieces? Think that times one thousand. I can make it happen."

Bel could not refuse this offer, and he had on a menacing smile on his face at the mental vision he had just gotten as Gokudera turned to Shoichi. Shoichi was edged as far away from Belphegor as he possibly could be and his eyes were wide.

"Tsuna, you know how Shoichi is," said Gokudera. "He's an absolute strategist and he can carry that into the social arena as well as he does on the battlefield."

The last of the ten was Bianchi.

Gokudera said simply, "She shares my blood." There was nothing else that he needed to say.

The rest of the meeting went smoothly, with all of them agreeing, in one way or another, to recall and utilize the social skills that they had excelled in the past. Even the most blood-thirsty of them gave their word that they could tolerate acting like civilized people for half a day and do their fighting with their words. All of them had the same basic mission to tease out as much information as possible without giving anything away and to scope out the other Families.

Gokudera hesitated before saying the very last part of what was due to happen at the Tiagero event.

"There's… going to be a dance," he finally said.

"What?" Tsuna yelped. "A dance? Do we have to go?"

"It's considered terrible manners to stay for dinner and leave before the actual event ends," said Gokudera. "Believe me, I'm not thrilled at the idea of a dance either, but we need this chance to scope out the Mafia and exert our own influence. And it just so happens that dancing is on the list of activities!"

"Do all of us have to dance?" asked about five of the ten at the same time.

"Yes. Even if you don't actively search out dance partners, we're the Vongola and everybody knows us, so people will come searching for you. And the safe way to go is to just not refuse for the sake of politeness."

Yamamoto asked, "Can we just dance with the same person the whole time?"

Gokudera gave him a look that said, 'I know what you're thinking. And no, you're not dancing with me for the whole night,' but addressed the group as a whole with his answer.

"You're supposed to switch dance partners every once in a while. But at any rate, we're not going to the dance to enjoy ourselves; we're going to get information, so I encourage all of you to choose the important people so you can pick their minds while you dance."

The right-hand man got up from his seat. The rest of the people in the room also got ready to leave the conference room.

"That's all for now. Thank you very much, and I'll be updating you over the next few weeks," Gokudera shot over his shoulder as he walked out the door.

* * *

**The next chapter: the social gathering at the Tiagaro base and the dance!**

**If you have any suggestions, message me. If Gokudera's not flying by the seat of his pants, I certainly am.**

**Review, please.**


	12. Social Manoeuvring

**Sorry that I took so long with this chapter. **

**This chapter is mostly just to set the background for the more exciting drama of the next chapter.**

**But I hope you like it anyway.**

* * *

Gokudera was in his apartment study. He was ready to rip out his hair. Of course he had known that dealing with Bianchi would be emotionally stressful and dealing with the Varia members physically so, but it was still a lot to deal with and it was frustrating him to seemingly no end.

Yamamoto strolled in from his side of their dual-apartment and sat down in the chair on the other side of the desk. He didn't say anything, knowing that Gokudera, in his current agitated state, would only snap at him no matter what he said.

After a few minutes in which Gokudera displayed his awesome Storm energy in the form of dealing with documents, Yamamoto figured that he'd better step in before Gokudera had another breakdown.

He got up and took the chair with him as he circled around the desk and sat behind Gokudera, who had followed his moments with his eyes but not his head. Yamamoto summoned his Rain element to his hands and started massaging the shoulders of the stressed man in front of him. Although he was only one position lower than Gokudera in ranking and Gokudera wasn't the boss, he somewhat felt like he was a page privileged enough to serve the king of the land. It was a humbling and powerful feeling and it was sort of nice.

Gokudera, after a moment of stillness, let out a contented sigh and relaxed under Yamamoto's hands. Considering how he had reacted violently under those same hands only a short time ago – although it had been years, to Yamamoto, Gokudera freezing under his touch seemed like only yesterday – it was magical how he was calming now.

Gokudera murmured something under his breath that Yamamoto couldn't quite catch, but he knew that it was some sort of mewl of contentment.

"Oh yeah," said Yamamoto, grinning in satisfaction at his own abilities, "It's awesome having me as your housemate, isn't it? And you said that I'd just be a big nuisance! Feeling different about it now, aren't ya?"

"Don't get cocky, now," Gokudera said, but he sighed in relaxation again. "But seriously, when did you get your massage therapist license?"

"Oh, I used to massage my grandpa's shoulders all the time when I was a kid! He said that I was good too, and he was really hard to please, just like you, really."

"Great," Gokudera groaned sarcastically. "Now I'm being compared to some old sushi master guy whom I've never met. Just what I wanted. Get off me, you idiot," he insulted Yamamoto affectionately.

"Not a chance." Yamamoto put him in a headlock. "Stop working and take a break." He looked over the papers on the desk. "You're done working now anyways. Now you're just stressing and that's not good."

"I am too working!"

"You _were_ working. _Now_ you're going to take a break. The Tiagaro meeting is still a good two weeks away!" Yamamoto took hold of the back of the rolling office chair and dragged the other man, who had given up struggling and was just sitting limply, out of the study, through the apartment-connecting doorway, and into the kitchen of his Rain apartment. Gokudera looked up at him through his reading glasses owlishly when Yamamoto handed him a cup of tea, and sipped it congenially without saying anything.

Yamamoto sat down on the table. "So! How's everyone coming along with the preparations?"

"Where do I start? There are eight people plus you and me!" Gokudera took off his glasses and rubbed at his tired eyes.

"Well, minus you and me. Start with Tsuna."

"Thinking of our boss first, I see. He's doing okay. Still got nerves, stutters some, but he always gets nerves before the event and shapes up when he's actually at it, so no worries there. He's recalled the manners that he learned before the Mafia Island gathering, so he's got that down. And… yeah. I've been putting him through simulations like you've been doing, and he seems to be getting through it pretty well, seeing through lies and things like that."

"Simulations with Damien?" Yamamoto asked. He had done his practice simulations with Damien, who had proved to be scarily good at acting.

Gokudera smiled proudly. "With Damien. That guy's something, isn't he? I'm so lucky to have found him. He's _damn _good."

Yamamoto got off the table and sat in the chair in front of Gokudera. "Hush, or I'll start to get jealous," he joked. "But yeah, he's really amazing. Works really well with you. He always says that you're damn good too."

"It's why I keep him around. He doesn't need to prepare at all; everything comes naturally to him. You know, if I die suddenly, you have to promise me that you'll make sure that he ends up in my current position. He can do everything that I can do and more, I bet."

"No, you're better," said Yamamoto, pressing a quick kiss to Gokudera's forehead. "And don't talk about dying, will ya? Now, about the others. How's… Bianchi?"

Gokudera sighed, a frustrated one this time, and put his feet up on the table after he had kicked his shoes off. "You know how she works with me. We're oil and water; we just don't mix. But I know that she can do everything when she's not purposely acting all snooty. Even when we were kids, father showed her all the time because she was the poster child for Mafia behavior. And… well, this is sort of awkward for me to say as her brother, but she's good looking and she can flirt like nobody's business."

"You'll have to stay away from her at the dance, then," Yamamoto laughed. "If I remember you correctly, didn't you tell her that she had to seduce people to wheedle out information?"

"It's not like I _enjoyed_ telling her that. It's just business. And she knows that," Gokudera snapped, slightly flushing. "And it's _you_ who'd better watch out at the dance or you'll be seduced by her. She's got mad skills but _I'm_ immune to them."

"Nah, I'm immune too. I'd rather be seduced by her brother, anyway." Yamamoto grinned cheekily at flicked at a strand of Gokudera's hair.

"Oh gods, you'd _better_ not say anything like that when we're at the Tiagaro," Gokudera said, groaning at the cheesy line. "Just shut up and get back to massaging my shoulders, would you?"

Yamamoto laughed and did as he was told except for shutting up. "And how's the Varia getting along?"

Gokudera banged his head down on the table. "_Don't_ talk to me about the Varia. They _refuse_ to do anything right whenever I'm around, just to bug the ever-living shit out of me, but as soon as they think I'm not watching, they do things perfectly. From the way that they act, they'll be capital at the 'bad cop' side of the 'good cop, bad cop' interrogation technique, but they're sure to fuck up things halfway to hell whenever I turn up, so I'll have to stay clear of them for fear that they'll do something stupid just to annoy me."

Yamamoto snickered. "Well, what'd you expect? It's Xanxus and Belphegor, for god's sake. They think that their purpose in life, now that they've largely given up killing us, is to make us regret ever hearing of the Varia. But it's good, at any rate, that they do well when you're not around. It's a pride problem. You have the same problem, you know."

"First I get compared to your grandfather and now the Varia?" Gokudera asked indignantly. "How does that even make sense? But whatever, I've given up understanding the strange ways that your mind works. And I do _not_ have a pride problem."

"Oh, I forgot to mention," said Yamamoto, still teasing his boyfriend, "Besides your pride problem, you also have a denial problem."

"Oh yeah?" Gokudera shot back, "Well, you want to see how in denial I can get when I shut off my apartment from yours?"

"Or… you _don't_ have a denial problem! Ha ha, what am I saying?" hastily added Yamamoto, sounding like the way he used to when he was a teenager.

"Yeah. That's what I _thought_." Then the silver-haired man spun around in his seat with a wide grin. "You're _so_ whipped, you know that? It's sort of funny and sort of sad. You don't have to still be so careful with me, you know." He looked to the doorway connecting their apartments and gestured at it. His tone was getting serious and quiet. "I mean, once we got _that_ installed, there was no turning back."

"Oh, I know," said Yamamoto, looking at the doorway rather fondly. He winked at Gokudera. "You like my shoulder massages too much. I just like letting you win. It's fun!"

"That makes absolutely no sense," said Gokudera. Then he yawned. "Goddamn, I'm tired. And it's getting pretty late."

"Let's go, then. I'm tired too."

The two of them got up and went to bed together.

* * *

It was the night before the ten Vongola members took a private jet to the Tiagaro base. The Storm and the Rain Guardians were taking evening tea on Yamamoto's side of their dual-apartment.

"So, you're absolutely _sure_ you have everything down? I know that table manners don't seem like much, but you get _judged_ at these types of meetings based on stuff like that!"

"Yes, I _know_," replied Yamamoto. "Will you have a bit more faith in me and stop being so paranoid?"

Gokudera tapped his fingers restlessly on the table. "You're right, but I can't help it, okay? You know how edgy I get about these sorts of things."

"Well, we're all as prepared as we're ever going to get, and now I can see an topic evasion coming from half a mile away, as can everyone else. Don't _worry_," comforted Yamamoto. "I'm actually surprised that you're more worried about us than you are about yourself. Even though this Tiagaro event is far smaller than the last time, a few of the, you know, Families that gave you a bit of trouble last time are gonna be there again."

"I told you. They won't try anything. We scared them bad when their bosses committed suicide after we got our revenge on them. They'll stay clear of us. For sure. But anyways, so you're sure you got everything?"

"_Yes._ Do you want me to tranquilize you with my Rain flame? You should really calm down."

But Gokudera was clearly not listening as he kept on stringing off nervously. "And look, I'm sorry that we have to keep _us_ secret, but it's not my choice, okay? It's just the –"

"–Just the way that the Mafia is, yes, I understand completely," said Yamamoto. "You've apologized about that for about the fifteenth time now. Seriously, I'm not offended and I never was. Stop worrying so much!"

"It's just…," Gokudera said, sighing, "I know how much us being together means to you – and it means a lot to me too – and I can't help thinking it's unfair for me to make either of us pretend that this isn't happening. But what can I do? The Mafia's just like any other really old traditional community; it'll take time for them to get used to a less-than-conventional idea like the idea of two guys in a relationship together, and this event is just not the time."

"Just chillax," said Yamamoto, taking the initiative and shooting his Rain Flame into boyfriend. He put his arm around the slowly relaxing man. "Besides, no one's going to ask or care if we're taken or not. You said it yourself that everyone just flirts with everyone else at these meetings."

"That's true," Gokudera said, sitting up a bit straighter and regaining his usual professionalism. "These socialization events _are_ also largely to try to get marriage partners. It's just like the royal families in history used to do: a person in a high position marrying outside the Family is a guarantee peace treaty between those two Families. Everyone who thinks that they have even half of a chance will be all over us because they'll want their Families to get into the good books of Vongola."

Yamamoto laughed. "I'll be so funny! And since you're officially known as being a bachelor, the women will be all over you!"

Gokudera laughed as well. "Don't forget, you're known as a bachelor too, so you'll be getting your fair share of women. It'd call it a nuisance, except that it gives me an assurance of security that I'm pretty glad about. We're certain not to slip up or do anything stupid when a woman comes along to try to seduce us because we won't, as they say, think with our dicks and not our heads. I feel sorry for the women that will be going to work on us, in a way. They'd actually have a shot with other guys, but since we're so famous in the Mafia, they'll be futilely trying their luck on us."

"Well, at least they won't get aggressive about it until we get to the dance. But the dance!" Yamamoto shuddered. "Were you really being serious about it being just like being at a nightclub?"

"Yup. _Just_ like that. It doesn't start out that way, of course, but…" He shrugged. "You'll see."

"Yeah. I guess I will."

* * *

As soon as they arrived at the Tiagaro base, all ten were thoroughly shocked at the size and level of security that the base had. The entire base was a steel dome that looked impenetrable and the process to enter the base was hundreds of times worse than the most stringent airport security ever invented. Nobody had to suffer the indignity of being patted down, but they were all put through a series of full body scans that even Shoichi admitted was very high standard.

When they had finally got through the security system, they were led to the lobby area and thrown to the wolves. It was up to each of them to prove themselves.

The ten had all cleaned up impressively, with expensive suits and perfect posture. Yamamoto had honestly been nervous about their condition as they flew to the Tiagaro on the jet. On the jet, Xanxus and Belphegor had still been their usual bickering, foul-mouthed selves; Shoichi had still been muttering various complex strategies to himself under his breath; Bianchi and Gokudera had looked at each other challengingly in what appeared to be a staring-contest; Tsuna had fidgeted restlessly in his seat; Mukuro and Chrome had still been playing around with the illusions that they weren't supposed to use on the Tiagaro base; and even Damien had stared out the window absentmindedly. It hadn't looked too good.

But the second that their jet had set down smoothly on the Tiagaro's runway, everyone had undergone a transformation and their preparations had kicked in. And now they were making their way to the lobby as though they had known nothing else but the correct decorum of social events all their lives.

The verbal bombardment started as soon as they stepped foot in the lobby.

Although Yamamoto had memorized the faces and names of all the important members, his head spun when he tried to take in the sheer amount of people that were trying to talk to him and the other Vongola members all at once. He arranged his face into the expression of polite interest that he had practiced back at his own home base and told himself that he couldn't glance at Gokudera for help on any circumstances.

Fortunately, in another minute, the thousands of people in the auditorium of a lobby room were ushered into a series of dining rooms. Yamamoto couldn't help noticing how the people who didn't manage to get into their room were taking subtle but nasty glances at those who did and felt like so many kilograms of meat that hyenas were leering at.

Gokudera was right behind him, and his mouth glanced by his ear as they walked to their own dining room. His voice was extremely low and just barely audible. "You alright? You look a bit scared; try to look calmer."

Yamamoto nodded. He was the Rain Guardian of Vongola, for god's sake. He was supposed to be the epitome of tranquility. He was determined to be the calmest one on the whole entire Tiagaro base.

It was still early in the afternoon, but everybody was being treated to dinner all the same to get it over and done with as an ice-breaker before the socialization could really start and the dance could commence. The true test had hardly even started yet.

The dining room was huge, just like all the rest of the Tiagaro base, and the Vongola obligingly staggered their seats so that all of them had a stranger on either side of them. Bianchi, Xanxus, and Shoichi were the only ones that Yamamoto could see properly from where he was, and Damien could just be seen when the angle was right. The others were clear across at the other side of the room and weren't in his range.

The man to the left of him was turned to away from him and talking with some other person, but the man to his right was looking directly at him, obviously wanting to speak. Yamamoto gave him a controlled smile, slightly hoping that he had some sort of pocket mirror or reflective surface so he could see how his expression was.

"You're Yamamoto Takeshi, Rain Guardian of the Vongola," the man said with a thick American accent, putting out his hand. "It's an honor to meet you."

"Please, the honor is mine, Chief Executive Talony. The Trenters must have had a fairly long journey here," Yamamoto replied, making small talk. The Vongola had never had direct official contact with the Trenters, but Yamamoto remembered that the Talony were a rather small but intense group that was based in the American state of New Jersey.

"Not as long as yours must have been," said Talony, looking pleased at being recognized. "I saw the Vongola jet as it landed. It's quite an impressive aircraft; original design, if I'm not much mistaken."

"Yes it is. One of our private engineers designed it."

It had been Shoichi, in fact, who had designed the jet, and under the ruse of taking a sip of wine, Yamamoto quickly glanced at the master engineer and strategist to see how he was doing. Shoichi, with his red hair, was easy to spot. He was participating in a group conversation, efficiently giving his attention to about five people all at once. Shoichi was a lot like Gokudera in the way that both of them generally preferred to focus deeply on one thing at a time, but, also like Gokudera, he seemed to be capable of doing excellently in widening his attention span if he put effort into it.

All this flashed by Yamamoto's head in the space of a single second as he took his sip of wine. Then he put his drink down and returned his attention to Talony. Talony, with his broad chest, was purposely taking up a lot of space so that he would have Yamamoto's full attention.

"It seems that the Vongola relies entirely upon its own industry. Of course, I perfectly understand the reasons behind making unique firearms and other types of weapons, although even that is not common among Families, but surely your engineers do not need to take time and energy on such huge projects involving transportation? Unless your engineers are so brilliant that designing an aircraft engine is not a project but a hobby that they do in their spare time," Talony softly chuckled with an edge.

"It's not so much that we prefer to have unique transportation than that we like having the security of being self-sufficient. The jet, for example, is about on the same level as other jets made elsewhere."

This was true, but Yamamoto hadn't told the whole truth.

The Vongola jet did go at about the same speed and run at the same quality as other regularly-made top notch jets, but instead of being powered by crude fuel, it was powered entirely by Element Flames and was not only completely good for the environment but also had almost instant velocity. The other reason that the Vongola focused a good portion of their industry on transportation was because they could afford to focus less on weapons now that they were moving away from mass-scale warfare. However, Yamamoto did not mention any of this because he wanted to keep away from the topic of weaponry to avoid inadvertently prompting Talony into questioning him about the time when Gokudera and he had destroyed _that_ Family ("What they were, What they are": Chapter 6: Back to Living).

The first course arrived. It was a type of seafood soup that, while delicious to Yamamoto, wouldn't be very appealing to Xanxus, who was addicted to red meat. Yamamoto took another quick glance up from his guise of eating at the usually wrathful Varia boss. Amazing, Xanxus wasn't throwing a fit but was even using the correct spoon out of the many different dining utensils in front of him to take his soup with impeccable table manners.

"Still," said Talony, also taking his soup but not losing the sharp look in his eyes, "One can't help noticing how the Vongola is strikingly independent from the rest of the Mafia."

'Ah, here we go. He's going to ask the first of the two big questions that Gokudera warned us about," thought Yamamoto. "The one about why we're moving aboveground."

"When the position of boss passed to the current Tenth boss," continued Talony, "It became almost immediately clear that the Vongola was being taken in a new direction. Most notably, it has strayed from, shall we say, the _conventional_ methods of business. Would you mind elaborating on this?"

Yamamoto knew that going for pathos and saying that it was good to try to move into the legal realm because "it was the right thing to do" would have zero effect on the man next to him. He had to go for ethos and logos. The Rain Guardian straightened in his seat and made his smile take on a tinge of seriousness, trusting his position in the Vongola to give him all the aura of authority that he needed. Now all he needed to do was say his words right.

"Of course we don't question our boss," he said, giving his voice just that tone that suggested that Talony had better not either. "But when his decisions are considered, it does make a lot of sense. The underground is being marginalized. Not a day goes by in which some sort of Mafia Family does not run into trouble with the government or with the Vindice. In contrast, legal government power is increasing. When the right strings are pulled, the government views us as a type of huge corporation and allows us political power."

Again, Yamamoto had not told the whole truth.

It was true that nobody, except maybe Gokudera and Xanxus when they felt extremely strongly about something, questioned Tsuna's final decisions, but it was rare that Tsuna made any sort of suggestion without raising up some sort of holy controversy in the conference room. He was also slightly stretching the truth about government power increasing, but it was true that legality could be flexed to do more and more fantastic things.

"This type of transaction might be viewed as a limitation of freedoms by some, but since we are not working in the legal realm as the Vongola, we have no technical bond that restrains us," continued Yamamoto. "And in the meantime, we work directly behind the scenes instead of under the trapdoor as we used to and our influence grows as we become more accessible to the people."

Talony slowly nodded and seemed to be thinking. It wasn't until the waiters had taken away the plates from the first course and laid down the dishes for the second course that he spoke again.

"I see," he said finally. "It is not an unreasonable strategy that you speak of, and, perhaps, worth looking into for the Trenters."

Then he suddenly smiled, wider than he had ever done so before.

"But come!" he said, his tone resounding with a brightness that let Yamamoto know that he was trying to get something. "Let us stop talking business at the table. I have heard that while the Tenth boss is lenient, the right-hand man is something quite intense. You must be quite tired of talking about the Mafia when you work with the Storm all the time."

"He is not quite so bad as the rumors say," said Yamamoto, referring to Gokudera. "He and I are diplomatic partners and we get along very well."

'We get along better than you'll ever know, in fact," he thought to himself, hiding a private smile.

"He doesn't seem to be getting along quite as well as with the women on your base, though, does he?" asked Talony. "He is an unmarried man yet, is he not? As are you." He smiled wider than ever.

'Oh gods, he's trying to play matchmaker!' Yamamoto groaned to himself. He had known that this moment would come sooner or later, but he had not expected to happen before the final course even started!

"Usually, it is expected that an equal number of men and women are taken to these types of socialization events," said Talony. "May I take it from the Vongola's interesting disproportion of their ten members today that you have a shortage of women on your base?"

Yamamoto was feeling quite awkward. Despite himself, he glanced to somewhere on the other side of the room where he assumed Gokudera would be but only got an eyeful of his sister Bianchi. All of the men around Bianchi were fixated on her every word, captivated by her good looks and witty conversation. If she hadn't been keeping her poison cooking on tight control, she probably would have murdered them all without even trying.

Talony saw where he was looking.

"She really is quite lovely," he said. "But my sister, I think, matches her in beauty. I will introduce her to you at the dance, if you so wish," he offered.

"Thanks, but no thanks," Yamamoto wanted to say, but didn't.

Instead, he merely raised an eyebrow in what he hoped was an interested manner, and said, "Is that so? Well, I will look forward to meeting her, then."

Before the conversation could get any more awkward for Yamamoto, he was distracted by a chorus of laughter that came a little way down the table. A number of people were laughing, behind their hands or napkins as was custom at these sort of events, at something particularly clever that Damien had said. The sudden distraction must have proven an outlet for the woman on Yamamoto's left, because she quickly turned away from the man whom she had been talking to and smiled at Yamamoto.

'Here I go again,' Yamamoto thought as he carefully arranged his facial expression and smiled back at the woman.

* * *

**The next chapter really is going to be the dance. I promise. I would have written it in this chapter if it wasn't already so long.**

**Also, there will be a (or a couple of) flashbacks.**

**Until the next update...**

**Review, please.**


	13. Human Contact

**Let it be known: I tried. (I haven't updated in a while - sorry- because I had surgery and was sick with the flu)**

**I wrote in the flashback for you (you know who you are)! And some other things.**

**Hope you like.**

* * *

Dinner was finally over and now everyone was freely moving around the available rooms of the Tiagaro base. The Vongola members had dispersed in their appropriate pairings.

Xanxus and Bianchi were going around together to speak with the Families that weren't on good terms with the Vongola, Bel and Chrome were similarly making their rounds with the less important but still significantly hostile Families, and Gokudera was sticking with Tsuna to have talks with their allies. Mukuro, Yamamoto, and Demian were flitting through the crown just to make the Vongola influence visible while Shoichi stayed a little off to the side and made mental notes about the architectural and technological aspects of the base.

Gokudera and Tsuna were in a separate room with several other Family members. Although the room décor was casual, with expensive hard couches lining the walls with a decorative coffee table in the center, the atmosphere in the room was anything but. False, but excellently disguised smiles were exchanged all around.

"The Vongola was one of the first names that we put on the invitation roster, of course," said the boss of the Tiagaro Family. "But considering the Vongola's err… penchant, shall we say, for keeping to itself, we did not know whether to expect you. Is the current administration planning to continue making itself visible?"

Gokudera picked up his champagne flute from the center table to cue Tsuna to answer the question.

The Vongola Tenth said, "Well, I would hardly say that the Vongola was _in_visible before. We have always taken great pains to maintain good relations within the Mafia."

"Businesswise, and perhaps even politically yes, but _socially_ it has kept mostly to itself, I think," commented the right-hand man of the Tiagaro, backing his boss.

"Perhaps that is why, with the notable exception of the boss and a select few, the Vongola Guardians are bachelors," smiled the Tiagaro boss, obviously directing the comment at Gokudera. "Housework must be one of the biggest problems that your base has."

Gokudera laughed politely. "The Vongola doesn't cater much to traditional gender roles, I'm afraid," he said. "We like our men to hold their own in the house and our woman to hold their own in the battlefield and everyone else to be just as balanced."

"But still. Companionship is important, is it not? And the Vongola is hardly militaristic in a large-scale to require women-warriors. It appears that it mostly relies on a small intense squad: the Varia."

"Yes, the Varia does seem to be the Vongola's sole method of using force," put in the boss of the Chiavere Family. The Chiavere were close business allies with the Vongola, but were not personally friendly. "Not that the Vongola uses force frequently or even gets into any kind of trouble. Except for… the notable exception of a few years ago," he finished maliciously.

"Ah, yes," Gokudera responded without missing a beat, acting as though he was just recalling the fresh memory of destroying _that_ Family, "that _was_ an exception for us. Hardly anything new in the Mafia as a whole, however, The Vindice didn't even send word."

"Still," continued the Chiavere boss. He was being careful now, knowing that he was treading on sensitive matters, but letting his curiosity get the better of him. "May we ask what antagonized the Vongola so much as to take such drastic action? So as that we do not make the same mistakes," he added as a precaution.

Before Gokudera could speak, Tsuna stepped in. "We were… _concerned_, about some of their activities regarding human rights. It was a one-time incident, it is true, but it was clearly meant provocatively, and the Vongola does not stand for being insulted."

The Tiagaro boss also joined in the inquisition. "That is all very well and good, but it still does not clarify the circumstances of the matter," he pressed.

"I would hardly say that it matters what exact violation they committed," said Gokudera coolly. He was getting irritated but was hiding it and was taking control of his own situation. "If I was married to one of yours and physically abused her, it wouldn't matter very much what I specifically did, would it? Just that it was a form of domestic abuse. But I wouldn't want to imply that I am irrationally violent, when I am _certainly_ not." The last statement was said with a slight edge.

Gokudera's comment had the intended effect of changing the subject, especially with his last words and his mention of marriage. The non-Vongola members of the room who had sisters or daughters of marriageable age focused on the one shining spark of possible marriage and close ties with the Vongola right-hand. The thing was, that even if Gokudera knew his own faults and didn't think of himself as a particularly good relationship model, he knew that the rest of the Mafia regarded him as an asset and he was using every bit of that outside regard to shift the topic of discussion.

"Of course none of us would think that you were or are unreasonable. And even you had that sort of reputation, I would hardly think that that would be a problem for you and your charms," said the Tiagaro boss. "Like you said, it is good for women to hold their own in a fight, and the Tiagaro women could be a match for you, I think. There are those who like pretty little housewives, but I say that fiery women are always the most fun to have."

Gokudera shrugged, but was careful to keep an expression of barely perceptible interest on his face. "Fiery is fine in itself, but what is most important in my opinion is an overall compatibility in personality. Of course, in my case, that might well translate to being fiery," he said dryly, then shrugged again. "But every man has his own preference."

"That is so," agreed the Tiagaro boss unexpectedly. Gokudera was a little surprised by his readily accepting comment, but before he could respond, there was a knock on the door.

"Come in!" called the host of the social event with a grin that looked to be a little wider than necessary. The door slid open and in stepped in a woman in her mid twenties: Adelina, the younger sister of the Tiagaro boss. Gokudera had on a mask of perfect friendliness as he smiled at her, but inside he was rolling his eyes. The Tiagaro had planned all this and was setting him up, he knew.

"This is Adelina, my sister and also the hostess of this event" introduced the host-boss, directing the introduction mostly to Gokudera. He turned back to the sister. "So glad you came, Adelina. Why don't you join us?"

There were no empty seats in the room. After a short pause, some of the other Family members started scooting closer in to make space, but the Tiagaro boss quickly put up his hand to stop them. "No need, no need!" he said, sounding positively exhilarated, "I was just about to get another bottle of champagne. Adelina can take my seat."

The boss' seat had been directly on the other side of the narrow coffee table from Gokudera. Adelina sat down gracefully. Looked at from any point of view, it had to be admitted that she was beautiful, in body as well as her mannerisms. Everyone in the room made some sort of friendly or welcoming gesture towards her, even Gokudera, who, while annoyed at the Tiagaro boss, had no cause to be annoyed at Adelina who was most likely just innocently looking for someone decent to have a relationship with.

"Adelina is our base's number one diplomat and representative, as I am sure all of you know," the host-boss said, still grinning, "I will be back in just a moment." With that, he left the floor to his sister.

She was looking at him, so Gokudera cleared his throat and said, "Good to meet you, Adelina. Your base is very impressive."

Adelina nodded with a smile. The curve of her lips was perfectly even and accepting of the compliment while still looking reserved – she wasn't showing her teeth the way she would with a proper wide smile. Gokudera could easily see why she was the Tiagaro's top diplomat with her elegant and controlled appearance.

"Not as impressive as I'm sure the Vongola main base is," she said. "I shall be glad to see it if the Vongola ever chooses to open its headquarters."

Tsuna and Gokudera looked to each other and grinned. The Vongola had many bases, most of them in full view although disguised, but the headquarters where the Guardians and all other important associate workers lived was shrouded in artificially produced real illusions so that no one who wasn't already aware of its existence could find it.

Just then, the Tiagaro base burst back in, noticeably without the wine, as he clapped his hands together excitedly. "It clear escaped my mind, but the dance will be starting in just a minute or so!" he exclaimed. "I must go and make the announcements, so Adelina, if you would be so kind?" He burst out the door the way he came, leaving the floor to his sister once again.

Adelina rose to her feet as graciously as she had sat down. "The dance will be taking place in the top part of the building," she said, leading everyone out of the conference room to the elevator.

They all went up. As they got off the elevator and walked through the hallways to the dance-Hall, Gokudera noted that there was a tiny, rather drab lobby area pushed to the side to provide for a straight path to the restrooms. Just as they reached the dance-Hall, a whirr sounded as all the lights were turned off except for some dim ones in the walkways. The Hall itself was appropriately lit, with lights around the edges for a well-stocked bar and other foodstuffs. A couple of parts in the Hall were partially sectioned off and stocked with armchairs and other couches for those who wanted to sit and talk. Quite a few others were already in the room, standing and talking near the sides. The group of the conference room dispersed.

Gokudera had started moving towards the bar to see if he could get a simple coffee or a coke when he felt a delicate touch on his shoulder. He turned halfway around.

"You're the munitions expert at the Vongola, is that right?" asked Adelina, smiling with her hand still on his shoulder.

"Yes, that's right."

"I deal with munitions as well: missiles, to be specific. I know you specialize in bombs, but you've also used rockets in the past, yes?"

"I'm a little bit more into projectiles, now," said Gokudera, who was, despite himself, getting genuinely interested now that the conversation topic had turned into his main field of expertise. "But rockets are still a staple for me. I'm most comfortable with smart rockets, which is pretty close to missiles."

Adelina smiled a proper smile. Her teeth were small and white against her tanned olive skin. "If you're interested, would you like to come to my section of the base and take a look at my missiles? We can talk technology."

It was an offer, that even if Adelina had been completely obnoxious and hostile, Gokudera could not possibly refuse. "That sounds _great_!" he said, grinning and letting Adelina take his arm as she led him to her armory.

* * *

Meanwhile, Yamamoto was getting introduced to Talony's sister, Joanne.

They were on the top floor in the Hall, sitting at the end of the long bar counter. Yamamoto was holding a Sprite, she a martini. She was giggling at something he had said and saying something through her laughter that Yamamoto couldn't quite catch through the loud mixes that the DJ was churning out. Quite bored, he wondered where Gokudera was and what he would think of the DJ mixes.

"I thought that was only a rumor that Dr. Shamal only took women as patients! That's awful!" She laughed louder and Yamamoto wondered if she was tipsy as he smiled back politely. Considering that she hadn't nearly had enough alcohol to get anywhere close to being drunk, he wondered, with a sense of slight horror, if the incessant giggling was just part of her personality.

"Well, he doesn't _refuse_ male patients," Yamamoto patiently corrected. "He takes male patients if certain people ask him nicely. Otherwise there'd be no point in having him around."

Joanne pulled her long wavy light brown hair, which had fallen into her face, out of the way. "Who do you take when you need to see the doctor?"

"Gokudera," he answered honestly. "He's one of Shamal's exceptions."

"Oh, _Gokudera_," she said, flipping her hair. "The right-hand man of your Family, isn't he? He's absolutely notorious for being something of a slave-driver."

"He's really not that bad," defended Yamamoto, starting to get quite a bit irritated. "You just have to get to know him."

"Well, anyway," Joanne said, changing the subject, "What's living on your base like? My base is so cramped that I get out as much as I can."

"My base is fairly accommodable," Yamamoto said modestly. "It's modern and it was bade to be lived and worked in twenty-four seven so we have our own apartments."

"That sounds wonderful," she gushed. "So it's not cramped at all in your apartment? You don't have to share?"

Yamamoto took a sip of his Sprite and thought about his Storm-Rain dual-apartment. "No," he smoothly lied. "I don't live with anyone else."

* * *

[Flashback: Nine months ago]

"Uhm, I was thinking about something," said Yamamoto nervously, sitting on a couch in the Storm condominium. Gokudera was lounging on a different couch, reading a magazine.

"About what?" he asked, then yawned. It was late in the afternoon and they had both just eaten dinner.

"About us living together. You know, moving in." The Rain Guardian held his breath, waiting for some sort of extreme refusal.

The Storm didn't disappoint.

"Okay, I think that's my cue for me to kick you out of my apartment!" Gokudera said, getting up and tugging Yamamoto up as well. He was clearly joking about kicking Yamamoto out, but was just as clearly expressing his dislike about the idea of living together.

"Aww, don't be so silly." Yamamoto pulled out of Gokudera's loose hold and sat back down next to Gokudera. "Let's at least talk about this. What logical reason can you state for why it would be bad for us to live together?"

"If it ain't broke, don't fix it," Gokudera retorted immediately with his quick mind and even quicker mouth. "Things are fine the way they are. Why change it?"

"Well, yeah, things are fine, but they could be better, if we moved in, couldn't they? We're not trying to _fix_ things, we're just trying to… _improve_ things. And besides, you're just stating an old idiom, so I'm not going to count that as a reason."

"Space, then," said the silver-haired man, throwing his magazine into the recycling bin. "I need my space. It'll be cramped and they'll be nowhere to put all the stuff if one of us moves into the other one's apartment. And besides, what'll happen to the empty place that's left over? It'll just sit around gathering dust!"

"Come on, that's just an excuse. We spend so much time in each other's places anyway that it would hardly make a difference. So why not just actually move in?"

"Exactly," said Gokudera, not in the least persuaded. "We already spend that much time together. So why do we have to actually have to live together?"

"Convenience. We can split the household chores and won't have to move back and forth so much. You can't argue against that. Ha!" said Yamamoto victoriously.

"Wrong!" retorted Gokudera just as confidently. "It's inconvenient to move our stuff and rearrange things."

Yamamoto leaned back on the couch and thought. It was true that it would be rather a bother for either of them to move their things. He got out his laptop to look up tips on how to move in easily with a partner. When his screen lit up, he saw, next to the online clock, the half-finished sliding puzzle that he had been working on. When he saw the sliding puzzle, he suddenly got an idea.

"I know!" he said excitedly. "You're right that it's hard to move our stuff and that we both need our space, so why can't we just move our apartments together instead of our stuff?"

This was an idea that caught Gokudera off guard. "Wait, what?"

"You know, like Shoichi did at the Millefiore with moving the rooms around! I think this building can do that too. Shoichi designed it, didn't he? We can ask him to move our apartments together and all that's left for us to do is just make a doorway in-between to make a passageway! Since there are loads of random storage rooms on this floor, we won't even have to disturb anyone else! It's a _great_ idea!" Yamamoto said excitedly.

"I…don't know, Takeshi," said Gokudera uncertainly. He couldn't argue about the technical aspects anymore, but there were still the emotional aspects that he was concerned about but were not willing to voice out loud. "Don't you think that it could be risky? It's going to cause a lot of complications, what with different schedules and missions and things like that as well as… other things."

"It's all up to you," Yamamoto said immediately, knowing that things were getting serious if Gokudera addressed him by his first name. "We don't have to if you're not ready."

"If I'm not ready?" Gokudera scowled a little. "I'm not a twelve year old kid."

There was a pause.

Then Gokudera suddenly said, "So you were talking just moving our apartments next to each other, right? So we can still have our own place, and it'll just be like a connected thing?"

"Yeah. It's completely your call as to how much we share and how much we don't. Do… you want to try it? If it doesn't work, we can always just move our apartments back." Yamamoto was trying hard not to get his hopes just in case he was let down.

Gokudera thought about it for a good while in silence, tapping his foot restlessly on the floor in a quiet staccato. He took a breath, and heavily let it out.

"We'll try it, then," he said.

/

First thing the next morning, Yamamoto contacted Shoichi before Gokudera could change his mind. Shoichi easily mapped out a course to move a couple of the storage rooms and bring the Storm and Rain apartments together without disrupting or moving any of the other apartments. Some minor construction workers were called to set up a simple doorway through the apartment walls.

And it was done before lunchtime. Gokudera and Yamamoto were now officially living together.

During the day, it made no difference. Both of them had gone to work immediately after setting out their new living arrangements. Even after the work day was done and up to dinnertime, there was hardly any difference because it was part of their routine to spend the afternoon in one or the other's apartment. But the difference became acute _after_ dinner when they were drinking their cooling tea in the Rain living room. It was getting quite late.

Just as Yamamoto was about to say something, anything, to break the silence, Gokudera got up. "Thanks for dinner. I'll do the dishes," he abruptly offered.

"Oh, uh, no problem. And thanks about the, the dishes. You don't have to, you know," Yamamoto said very fast. He was honestly astonished at both his level of nervousness and Gokudera's level of calmness.

The Storm shrugged and went into the kitchen. A moment later, the sound of running water in the sink could be heard. "You go to bed," Gokudera called from where he was. He couldn't be seen from the living room and his voice was a little hard to make out over the splashing water. "I'll finish the dishes and go when I'm done."

"Oh, okay," Yamamoto said, before he realized that Gokudera probably couldn't hear him.

It was only until he was halfway through brushing his teeth that he realized that his inaudible "oh, okay" and leaving was the worst version of goodnight that he had said in probably all of the past year. He finished washing up quickly and changed out as fast as he could so he could amend things. If living together had made things awkward, at least it also gave him the opportunity to re-do things.

Gokudera was still in the kitchen, although he was wiping his hands dry on a paper towel and getting ready to go. Yamamoto walked up to him and tapped him on the shoulder.

"I'm glad we're housemates now," he said, laughing a little in slight embarrassment. "Good night, sweet dreams." He kissed Gokudera on the cheek and left back the way he came, letting out the breath that he hadn't realized he'd been holding and feeling rather lame for only kissing him on the cheek when they'd been doing far more for months.

'What's the matter with you?' Yamamoto fretted as he turned off his bedroom light and got into bed. 'You've slept over a few times at his place; he's slept over a few times at your place; what's the big deal? _He_'s the one who was wary about the idea of moving in and _you_'re the one who's freaking out now that you actually did? This makes no sense.' Closing his eyes and trying to get comfortable, he wondered nervously, for the first time, if he had ever sleepwalked.

Twenty minutes later, at the sound of a noise, he opened his eyes.

In the doorway stood Gokudera, wearing a loose white t-shirt, grey boxers, and a half-smile. "I don't suppose that I have to ask if I can come in?"

Yamamoto just gaped at the man who had just walked into his bedroom like he had done it every night of his life. "Uh, n-not that I'm complaining," he stuttered, full of surprise, "but are you sleeping over?"

"I guess I am," Gokudera stood at the side of the bed and made a shooing motion with his hands to get Yamamoto to move over, which he did.

"I'm _so_ glad you came," said Yamamoto gratefully from his side of the bed, beaming. "What made you decide to come over?"

"I saw you eying me all night," said Gokudera, making Yamamoto face-palm in embarrassment, "and I knew that you wanted us to sleep together but was just too scared to ask. I figured that we were probably going to come to this at some point in the future now that we got a hole punched through the wall, so…" he shrugged again. "Oh, and also, your good night kiss was shit."

Yamamoto poked him. "I was a little nervous, okay? And I suppose you could do better?"

"Of course," Gokudera said, and then leaned over and proved it.

* * *

[Present: real-time]

"Wow, it must be so great to have an apartment all to yourself and have all that space," Joanne said. "I have to share my place with my brother."

"Well, sharing with someone else can work out," said Yamamoto, speaking from experience. "As long as both the people have a good relationship and a decent arrangement, it can be really nice."

"Have you ever lived with anyone? Like with someone you were in a romantic relationship with?"

"No," Yamamoto lied again. "I haven't ever really gotten that serious. With all the work, actually, it's hard to even date," he added, making up things to say.

"I know what you mean," said Joanne, who had now finished her martini. "Being in the Mafia means that you hardly ever have time off. That's why I was so glad that the Tiagaro was opening this event. It gives me a chance to get out and meet nice new people, like you," she said, obviously flirting. "Aren't you going to ask me to dance?"

"Oh, I'm sorry, where are my manners?" said Yamamoto, sliding his half-finished Sprite down the counter and holding out his hand to Joanne with a small bow and a smile, using his best acting skills.

Giggling again, Joanne took his hand and they went to join the other dancers on the floor.

* * *

"These are _very_ impressive," said Gokudera, admiring the various types of missiles that Adelina was showing him in her armory. "Did you design all of these?"

"No," Adelina laughed. "That would have taken me years and years to try to do. I've designed a couple of the newer models, but the rest were produced by our base's technicians."

"These are absolutely huge. I can only imagine how destructive these could be. I can only say that the Vongola wouldn't want to cross the Tiagaro, that's for sure."

"Oh, thank you so much for the compliment!" she said, her face lighting up in delight. "But the Tiagaro would never be foolish or reckless enough to try to take on the Vongola. We have these for mainly offensive-defensive purposes or to put them on the market for sale. Does the Vongola have any interest in missiles?"

"We have some," Gokudera nodded. "A very small percentage of our weapons come from outside sources, but we make most of our technology within the Family." He turned back to the warheads. "Are these nuclear?"

Adelina shook her head. "We try to stay away from nuclear. As a rule, because we're the neutral Family, we don't generally use these at all," she said, gesturing towards the lines and lines of missiles in the stadium of an armory, "But since the groups to whom we sell them to do, we try to make sure that innocent and unrelated civilian people around the world don't get harmed by the radiation."

Gokudera beamed. "That is _excellent_!" he exclaimed. "That's what the Vongola does as well! Almost all of our technology is powered by Element Flames to be good for the environment and not use up resources. Not that many people on our base use this type of technology, though, so it's really just our technicians and me who do any designing. I wish that all of the Guardians knew this much about rockets and missiles as you do, but it's hopeless!"

Adelina laughed. Everything about her, from the way she held herself, to her words, to her voice, to her laugh, was gorgeous. Gokudera thought that either she had inherited nothing but the best genes or had received only the best classes in comportment. He felt a little bad that he was leading her on because she didn't know that he wasn't on the market, unlike the missiles all around him.

"Well, this is a very specialized field," she said, still smiling. She put a hand on one the missiles. "It's probably an acquired interest as well. I know that it took me years to learn how to even operate one of these."

Adelina started leading Gokudera out of the armory. They continued their conversation as they walked back to the dance-Hall.

"Tell me about it," Gokudera said. "When I first started bombs as a kid, I got my hair singed so many times that I wondered if it was just me that was floundering about like an idiot. It was hard to learn how to time it right as well."

"Thank the gods that missiles are done with computer programming," Adelina said. "I don't know how I would ever manage to get the hand-eye coordination right to ever physically detonate these things at the right moment."

"It'd be impossible to pick up those missiles anyways, so good luck with that," Gokudera mildly joked. "Since you're a missile-expert, you probably work from the base because you don't need to get up close, but do you ever go into the actual battlefield? I know that the Tiagaro hasn't ever entered a war, but it has had its neutrality threatened a couple of times."

Adelina nodded. "The Tiagaro doesn't resort to missiles unless the threat is very high. In normal battles, I go as a sniper. My fighting position is still a little bit away from the ground fighting, but close enough that I can see for myself how the battle is going."

They were now in the elevator and going back up to the top floor.

"You're versatile," said Gokudera, impressed once again. "I never knew before today that the Tiagaro's top representative and diplomat was such a formidable fighter!"

"Ah, but you are versatile as well," said Adelina, giving him a knowing smile and clearly having done her research. "You fight with bombs, rockets, your box animal, and knives, I have heard. And you're the Vongola's top negotiator. You are quite a bit formidable yourself."

"Well, comes with the job description of being the Storm Guardian," said Gokudera modestly, bowing his head. "But you and yours are truly impressive. It cannot be easy to maintain neutrality in such an aggressive and belligerent atmosphere as in the Mafia. I also had not known before how closely the Tiagaro's interests coincide with the Vongola's."

"That is good to hear," said Adelina as they got off the elevator and started walking through the hallway to the dance-Hall. "Perhaps we can work out some sort of arrangement in the near future. The Vongola also makes a point of avoiding wars, does it not?"

Gokudera nodded. "We use our private force, the Varia, for certain occasions, but the Tenth boss is taking the Family into a state of virtual neutrality. We are, however, in a number of business organizations."

"The Tiagaro welcomes business partnerships or organizations as long as they are not inherently militaristic or too binding," Adelina stated. She smiled up at Gokudera when he opened and held the Hall door for her. "I think that we could get along very nicely."

"I do so as well," Gokudera replied charmingly, speaking a little louder to be heard over the music mixes. He gestured towards the now large group of dancers. "Do you want to dance?"

"I'd love to," she said, and they went deep into the Hall together.

* * *

Yamamoto was now mentally drained.

Dancing with Joanne and the couple of other women that he had met hadn't been very physically demanding – the Hall was full of people in their twenties and the dancing was mostly the same as the simplistic type to be found in any other regular nightclub, which wasn't much besides grinding and a bit of jumping, depending on the mood – but the constant conversation about his personal and professional activities was quite stressful.

He couldn't even sit at the bar to take a break because someone was sure to ask him out on the floor almost straight away. It was better to stay within the huge mass of dancing people and hope that he wouldn't be noticed for a couple of minutes under the flashing colored lights.

Yamamoto looked around for the other Vongola members, and especially for Gokudera.

Chrome was at the bar, speaking with someone, and Mukuro was nearby, casually chatting with someone else as a type of ruse to keep an eye on Chrome. He could just make out Tsuna in the far corner, sitting in an armchair next to where the foodstuffs were kept and surrounded by a multitude of women who all looked like they could be models if they decided to leave the Mafia. He looked like he was holding a rather serious conversation with a couple of other people who were also in armchairs. Bianchi was flirting madly with a couple of men all at once on the dance-floor. From her smug expression and the way that the men were all babbling, Yamamoto guessed that she was getting a great deal of useful information. The rest of the Vongola, along with Gokudera, weren't in sight, but he guessed that they were all doing their jobs with a close precision.

He checked his watch. It was about half past midnight. Gokudera had told all of the ten Vongola members that while there was no set date for the guests to leave, the dance usually lasted for hours and that people usually left after the dance at around two.

He felt a hand on his arm and looked to see who it was. If he remembered correctly, the woman who was now on his arm was Cecania, the female boss of the Streuen Family, a German group.

After going through the basic formalities and greetings as he had now done countless times, he started dancing with Cecania and teasing out some technical facts about how the Streuen Family's Element, sand, worked. He only got vague answers about gathering and forcing out, but it was enough for him to figure out that the method involved a type of compression using pressure and then suddenly releasing with a spin to cause an explosive rotating scatter.

'Gokudera'll be pleased that I figured out so much important and interesting stuff,' he thought, trying to multitask by holding a limited conversation with Cecania while dancing on beat and thinking of something else at the same time. 'Where _is_ he? I haven't seen him _anywhere_!'

Then he caught a flash of silver to his right. Gokudera was only meters away. The silver-haired man parted from some random woman and stopped by the bar to get a drink. Almost as soon as he got to the bar, several other women went up to him and asked him to dance. Although it was a little bit hard to tell amidst all of the other people in the way, from reading Gokudera's lips, it looked like he was saying something about going to the bathroom. In the next moment, he was out the Hall doors.

Yamamoto couldn't afford to miss this chance to meet Gokudera. Now that he had gotten the information he wanted from Cecania, he didn't need to stay with her any longer. "I'm so sorry, but I need to use the restroom," he told her as politely as he could at the first reasonable chance he got before making his getaway.

It was killing him to walk slowly to the door of the Hall and not run and wait for Gokudera outside the restroom, but he kept his movements casual. He would have to wait a minute or so for Gokudera outside the restroom anyway, so there was no point in rushing.

Outside the Hall, there was only a rather dim bar of light glowing above the path to the restrooms. The floor was vibrating with the beat of the DJ music and the music mixes could be heard in only a slightly muted version, but there were no other people and the hallways were empty.

When Yamamoto turned the corner to where the hallway path to the restrooms would be a short straight stretch, he was surprised to see Gokudera leaning on the wall in the middle of the hallway, smiling expectantly at him.

"You were waiting for me?" Yamamoto said in considerable surprise. "How'd you know I was coming?"

"I figured out that you were watching me for the past couple of minutes so I snuck out, knowing you'd come. You know I'm observant. How do you like this so far? The dance, I mean." Gokudera glanced around sharply to see if there was anyone and then took Yamamoto's sleeve to affectionately tug him towards the lobby area in the dark far corner.

Yamamoto shrugged dismissively at the thought of the various people who he had danced with and grinned at Gokudera. "It's okay. A bit tiring. It's just like you said, like a nightclub. The DJ's pretty good, I think."

"There are several DJs, actually, but yeah they're alright. It's just straight dance music, pop songs and beat electronic and such."

"They turn on slow songs every once in a while." Yamamoto paused and then added, a little hopefully, "Can we wait for one? We can stay out here and stick to the wall." Feeling a bit bolder, he took Gokudera's hand.

Gokudera shook his head, although he let the other man take his hand. "They hardly turn on any slow songs. Even if I consented to waiting for one, we'd have to wait too long and that'd be wasting time."

"Come on. Whatever we miss, the others will get. Besides, why'd you bring me here for if it wasn't for a chance like this?"

"To talk. To check up on you," said Gokudera, not missing a beat. "I told you before we got here that we weren't going to do this. We can't. This is still in a public area, you know. And we can do all this stuff back at the base, so what's the big deal?"

"It won't be the same," said Yamamoto, gesturing around them. "There's no one else out here and even if some random person shows up, they won't find us. If we can't wait for a slow song, then can we at least just ignore the DJ mixes and mess around? Come on. _Please_."

Gokudera looked around again warily. He lowered his voice so that he was just barely audible. "I don't know… if we get caught, it's not gonna look too good." He pulled his hand out from Yamamoto's grasp and shook his head. "It's too risky."

"God, you're so paranoid," Yamamoto whispered, taking Gokudera hand and gently pulling him up close into the darkest part of the corner. "If anyone sees us, which they won't, we can just say that we're joking around." He put his hands on Gokudera's shoulder and smiled.

"I'm not exactly known as a jokester," Gokudera protested weakly, but he put his hands on Yamamoto's hips and swayed to the music.

It was almost completely dark where they were, but Gokudera's clean silver hair let off a barely perceptible sheen from what dim glow that still reached them. His vigilant dark green eyes flickered back and forth, his cheekbones and jawline looked set and sharper than ever, and his expression was serious but quiet. Yamamoto looked at him with a similarly earnest expression, his black hair and black eyes glinting with stray rays of light.

Then suddenly green eyes met black and they had both tilted their heads and leaned in and their lips met and they were no longer swaying loosely to the music but pressing against each other and against the wall. Although it wasn't anything that they hadn't done in the privacy of their houses, their desperate clutching for contact now seemed more real and passionate than ever after a whole day of denying the very existence of their relationship.

When they broke apart, breathing hard, they both stood for a moment in shock before Gokudera regained his mind first and shoved Yamamoto away at arm's length, his sense of professionalism kicking back in.

He ran his fingers through his silver hair and shook his head ruefully. "Damn, that was…" He caught his breath, looked around quickly, and shifted where he stood. "… We shouldn't have done that. We could have gotten caught and there would've been no excuse. We lost control."

"But we _weren't_ caught," breathed Yamamoto, stepping forward and taking Gokudera gently by the waist. Testosterone and endorphins were still pumping through his veins. "That was _amazing_. That made my night. _Thank you_."

Gokudera struggled with his face a little, looked around one more time, and put his arms back around Yamamoto, letting out a heavy breath. They loosely held each other for a moment longer, giving and taking warmth, and trying to get their sudden spike in arousal to decrease.

When they had both calmed enough, Gokudera sighed and pulled away slowly. After patting Yamamoto a little awkwardly on the shoulder, he left, walking in long strides back to the Hall. Still in the shadows of the corner, Yamamoto watched Gokudera go as though in a dream, savoring the aftermath of what had happened and burning the memory of the incident into his mind.

When he was sure that he had stored every last detail into a special compartment of his mind, it was only then that Yamamoto went back into the Hall and threw himself back to the masses.

* * *

**That was the sappiest thing I've written in a long time. Not quite my style (if you've read my other works/stories, you'd know that I focus far more on sexuality), but I know some of my readers like it, so this was for you.**

**I'm thinking about writing some more of Adelina in. Like the idea or not? Tell me down below.**

**Review, please.**


	14. The Greater Good?

**Sorry for not updating in a while.**

**This chapter will hopefully make up for the break. It's quite a dramatic one.**

**Hope you enjoy!**

* * *

After saying their farewells and collecting their things, it was half past two when the ten boarded the Vongola jet. Almost everyone collapsed in their seats the moment that they got on the jet, exhausted from their night's excursion.

Tsuna checked up with all the members who had come before they fell asleep, being especially careful and gracious with Xanxus and, interestingly enough, with Gokudera, both of whom had gotten fairly tense and snappy after several tiring hours at a stretch of being nice and polite to people they didn't like.

Gokudera had seated himself at the very back of the jet in a sectioned-off space, wanting to have some space away from anyone else, even Yamamoto and Tsuna, and have a moment of peace. He might have been the right-hand man and the Storm Guardian of Vongola, but the rest could take care of themselves for once and he couldn't always be expected to be a whirlwind of energy. His blazer had been thrown over the back of the seat next to him and the seat that he was on was tilted as far as it could go so that it was horizontal. Gokudera was lying quite still on it with his eyes closed, though he was having trouble falling asleep.

Bianchi, on the other side from Gokudera, was doing much the same thing, except that she had taken the trouble to change out of her well-fitting formal cocktail dress into looser, more casual clothing before retreating into a solitary partitioned area.

Damien, while he wasn't occupying a single section, had seated himself in a quiet place with a glass of water and a sedative pill. He swallowed the pill and sat back in his seat as he waited for it to work, secure, like the two other Storm Element Flame possessors on the jet, that his memory would not fail him when he later tried to recall the information he had gathered at the Tiagaro social event to write his report.

Xanxus was also trying to sedate himself, although in a cruder manner. He was at the bar of the jet, seemingly trying to go through all the liquor, some straight and some mixed, that he had restrained himself from drinking at the social event. The Varia boss had always had a high alcohol tolerance to begin with, but perhaps because he was so wired with stress and irritability, he wasn't even close to getting drunk though he was throwing down shot after shot in rapid succession.

Mukuro and Chrome were also tranquilizing themselves, shrouding the few square meters that they were in with heavy Mist Element Flames. It seemed that even those two, who were well-known for always keeping cool, had had their limits pushed with the constant questioning that they had been subject to and that they had been instructed to do.

Belphegor, the last time he had been seen, had been at the small armory of the jet, collecting his precious knives and wires. Seeing as how he hadn't been seen since, the rest of the people who were still conscious assumed that he was either sharpening his knives in a frenzied mental zone or had simply fallen contentedly asleep on the floor of the arsenal among his weapons.

Shoichi had immediately gotten out his laptop to type down all the factual things that he had noticed on the Tiagaro base when he had gotten in his seat. Since he hadn't been instructed to socialize much but had been assigned the task of figuring out the designs of the machinery that were in sight, he had acquired a much more specialized and detailed knowledge than the others that had best be put in and saved on more reliably retaining material than brain neurons.

Yamamoto, fitting to his nature as a Rain Element Flame wielder, was the calmest one in the group. He was exhausted as well, but just to be sure, he jotted down a few reminder bullet points on a small notepad before he settled back into his seat. His mind was comfortably blank and his predominant feeling was that of relief.

/

The next thing that anybody knew, they jet pilot was making the announcement that they would be landing in approximately thirty minutes and the stewards and stewardesses were going around and checking-up on the passengers that were scattered all over the jet, waking up the people who were asleep, which was all of them by that point.

The jet slowed, circling down in huge circles over the Vongola base like a hawk around its prey except that instead of preparing for an attack, the jet was preparing to land and communicating with the base to receive confirmation that they could lower their altitude. The air traffic controllers on the base located the jet and activated the artificial real-illusion technology. This made the aircraft, which was still high enough that common people on ground level only saw an extremely miniature version of it, appear to be a regular pigeon. Successfully masked in illusion, the jet landed safely on the airport strip of the secret main headquarters of Vongola.

Having been told by Gokudera before going to the Tiagaro event that their written reports were due in the next 72 hours, everyone's first and main thought was to just immediately go home, all of them still exhausted from their night's work and concerned about their own well-being over anyone else's.

Besides Xanxus and Belphegor, who had their own servants from Varia ready at the airport to escort them and their things back home, the others independently took up the small things that they had taken along for the trip and then made themselves scarce.

When Yamamoto, who had been a little slower than the rest to collect his things and get off the jet, arrived at his dual-apartment and went in, he found Gokudera already fast asleep.

/

* * *

Several hours later on that same day, Gokudera had recuperated enough to naturally wake up a quarter of an hour before lunchtime.

As per standard after a mission in which the information procured wasn't immediately needed, the people who had gone on the mission had the privilege of having the next day off. Although the Tiagaro event, as social gathering event, wasn't strictly a mission, it was close enough that the ten, except for Tsuna, were officially on a 24 hour period leave. The decision to go to work or visit the Department or office or not was up to the individual's own discretion, but officially, the Secondary Secretary of Storm was in charge of the Storm Department, the Chief Secretary of Rain was in the charge of the Rain Department, Squalo was in the charge of the Varia, and so on and so forth.

Gokudera wasn't either a coffee or a tea person, but that particular morning he thought it might be nice to have a hot drink so he brewed a pot of coffee. He kept himself company in the Storm living room with his mug, enjoying the breathy silence and the familiar lookout of his apartment.

After a bit more mulling around, he went back into the bedroom, washed up, and got dressed, debating all the while on whether or not he should wake Yamamoto up. The Rain Guardian was curled up on his side of the shared bed, facing away from him and to the wall, and was breathing deeply in hard sleep. He looked at the sleeping man for a long while, wondering, and hazily remembering the events from the last night.

Then Gokudera turned around and quietly left the bedroom and the dual-apartment and headed for his office.

As he walked through the hallways, he texted the other nine at the Tiagaro's a general reminder of the report due date and, after a little hesitation, sent Yamamoto a quick message of his whereabouts.

The first thing he did when he got to his office was what he always did at the start of the day: check his phone and his electronic inbox. Because the Vongola internet mailing system had strong firewalls that never let in spam mail and most outside contacts, even the important ones, went to Damien before they came up to him, he was surprised, even considering the last night's Tiagaro event, at the amount of new mail that he had.

Most of it was, to his relief, business related. Short messages about possible partnerships or economic transactions filled up his screen one after the other as he scanned through all of his mail and categorized them in his mind from most to least important in order of needing to be replied to. Almost all of the messages were written generically, he could tell, probably only edited slightly for the names and different business topics, but they were reasonably serious, nonetheless.

There were a few letters from diplomats. Although these were still business-related, they were not official in tone but more casual, asking for possible meeting dates to discuss anything from unions, construction, department franchises, and pollution control and sometimes with added little tidbits of how they had interacted at the Tiagaro. One of these messages was, unsurprisingly, from Adelina.

/

_Vongola Right-Hand Gokudera,_

_It was a pleasure to meet you at my Family's social gathering yesterday night. If you will recall, we spoke about missiles and a little on environmentalism._

_Considering that the Vongola and the Tiagaro have these interests in common, I feel that it would be in our mutual benefit to work together and come to a cooperative understanding with weapons control that we can spread to the other Families._

_If you are open to this idea, please contact me through this email. Nothing need be serious just yet, but a casual discussion of common goals would be well appreciated. The Vongola may set the time and place._

_I look forward to hearing from you._

_-Tiagaro Chief Diplomat Adelina-_

/

Gokudera read through the message twice and sat back in his office swivel chair, thinking hard about its implications. There was no doubt that while this was a tempting business offer that couldn't be refused – it would give both Families a chance to exert positive influence and the Tiagaro were a good Family, no matter what the circumstances, to work with – the personal implications were less enthusiastic for him.

When they met, it would be expected that Adelina be able to meet with him and him only, especially since it was stressed that the meeting be casual. They would, undoubtedly, talk business, but it was a foregone conclusion that other, more personal matters would be spoken about and that the matter of relationships would inevitably come up. It wouldn't even be a stretch to say that Adelina had most likely only used this potential opportunity as a chance to communicate with him one more time and further get together with him. Her offer was, in so many different ways, powerfully dangerous.

Gokudera didn't know what he should do. On the one hand, it would hugely benefit the Vongola for him to flirt or more with Adelina because that would put her, and thus the Tiagaro, in a good mood and make it more likely for them to work in ways that the Vongola might prefer. But on the other hand, skirting around a possible relationship or even marriage with one of the most powerful people in the Tiagaro would be stressful to him and his and he didn't know how to play out such a situation.

Head buzzing and still largely concerned about what might result, Gokudera nevertheless wrote her a reply, editing it multiple times before he finally sent it with his best hopes.

/

_Tiagaro Chief Diplomat Adelina,_

_It was also a great pleasure on my part to meet you and I cannot emphasize enough how well put-together your Family's gathering was._

_You make a good point about our Families' common interest in weapons control and environmentalism. I also feel that the project you suggest could be well worth undertaking. _

_I am open exactly five days from today on the 17__th__ and meet you at the Vongola's Sicilian base at 3:00 p.m. _

_-Vongola Right-Hand Gokudera-_

_/_

He stared at the sent confirmation notification that popped up after he had thrown his reply message on the Internet freeway to teleport to Adelina's inbox.

In some strange, desperate way, he felt that he should tell Yamamoto that he was going to be meeting her although this was, officially, only a small business meeting. Shaking his head to try to clear it of any distraught thoughts, he determinedly clicked into some other emails on his inbox and started mechanically replying to the other, less personally frightening, messages.

He was almost through going over the new messages of the day when there was an alert beep from his wall panel, letting him know that he had a visitor. A connected screen panel on the inside of the office showed that it was Yamamoto.

Feeling relieved and tense at the same time, Gokudera let him in.

"I got your text," Yamamoto said, patting the pants pocket where his phone was and smiling. "When'd ya get up?"

"About twenty minutes before I sent that text, I think. Did you only just get up now?" Gokudera stood up and walked around his desk to where his partner was, to the middle of his office, but kept a few yards' distance away.

"Well, I got up about thirty minutes ago, but basically yeah," Yamamoto replied, grinning wider in embarrassment. "Anyways, what are you doing work already for? It's our day off for god's sake! That reminds me – did you have lunch yet? I haven't. D'you want to go get something to eat?"

"Ah … Okay then. C'mon."

/

* * *

Ten minutes later, they were up on the roof of the Vongola office building, leaning on the terrace and eating sandwiches. They stood side by side in silence as they ate, just breathing the fresh air and trying to relax. When they were both almost finished with their lunch, Gokudera was the first to break the comfortable silence.

"So, uh," he said, feeling a little awkward. "How'd you like being at the Tiagaro?"

Yamamoto shrugged. "Well, it was like you said, really. All really stiff. It wasn't intellectually difficult, exactly, but I just had to be on my guard all the time and know what was what with all the Families. Besides sneaking out of the dance with you, it was all pretty boring, actually. For a social event, it wasn't really all that friendly except the being propositioned, of course."

"Yeah?" Gokudera cleared his throat unnecessarily. "And how was being propositioned?"

"It was hilarious!" Yamamoto replied, waving his arms around and laughing a little. "Man, you wouldn't believe how desperate some of these women are! Like, they're gold-diggers, the lot of them! Except for a few, who were sort of quiet-like, you know, they were all just … wow. What about you? I bet you had your fair share, hey?"

"A couple. Uhm, I actually got an email from one of them already," Gokudera's previous sense of awkwardness seemed to dissipate a little as he spoke the words but he also felt himself entering a dark room.

Yamamoto laughed, oblivious as of yet. "What did it say?"

"It was actually sort of business-related. But the casual, non-obligatory type. You know Adelina, the top diplomat of the Tiagaro? She wants to meet me. Uhm, actually, we're gonna meet in a few days." The Storm Guardian shifted his feet and looked out across the expanse of the Vongola campus, not looking at the man next to him.

"Oh. Okay. That's fast! How're you gonna do this?"

"Well, here's how it goes," said Gokudera, suddenly whirling around to look at Yamamoto and spouting everything that had been on his mind since the morning in one quick rush. "I'm going to have to meet Adelina in this tentative business discussion on weapons and environmentalism and that sort of thing on our Sicilian base. Of course the real issue here's not only the discussion, although that's pretty damned related. The issue is that I'm not sure how to deal with the outside-business aspects. How far can, or should, I take this if I don't have plans to marry her?" He put his sandwich down and gripped the edge of the roof terrace with both hands.

Yamamoto widened his eyes and took a half-step back before stepping forward again and putting a comforting hand on Gokudera's shoulder.

"Whoa, I think you're taking all this a bit too intensely," he said. "Look, I don't really get what the big issue is here. I don't mind you flirting with her if that helps business, if that's what you're worried about."

Gokudera shrugged out of Yamamoto's touch and shook his head roughly, making his silver hair whirl about. The sunlight glinting off his hair was like a haphazard distress signal.

"No, you're not getting the significance of all this. Here, this is the message she sent me." He pulled up Adelina's email on his phone and handed it to Yamamoto.

Yamamoto read it quickly and shrugged.

"So? I mean, this is cute, but what's the big deal? You can just be friendly with her and that'll do it, won't it?"

Gokudera slapped his open palm on the concrete terrace and shook his head again.

"_No._ You _have_ to read between the lines. You think that message is just cute? Well, I'll tell you what it actually means," he burst out, making no attempt to hide his frustration. "Adelina's the virtually the second-in-command in the Tiagaro and she's basically offered to go into a partnership with the Vongola. That's _unheard_ of for the Tiagaro and it's not an offer that we can turn down. But – this is important – she's holding out this offer with the condition that she and I have at least a shot at a relationship. No relationship, no deal. And Adelina's not stupid. I'll bet anything that she won't seal the deal and won't even think about signing any business contracts unless I sign a marriage contract with her first. _Now_, do you get what the big deal is? _What am I supposed to do?_"

"Look," said Yamamoto, holding his hands up a little. "I think you're really going over the top with this. I mean, I know you're better at this kind of stuff than I am, but how did you even get all of that from, like, five sentences?"

"Just try to bring up your freshman year critical thinking skills, will you?" Gokudera snapped sarcastically. "Or perhaps she'll have to present me with an engagement ring before you'll start to see the light?"

Yamamoto looked at him sharply and put down his sandwich.

"There's no need to be rude," he said, his tone a little hard. "If you want my help, then can you at least stop freaking out?"

"Alright, alright! _Sorry_. But now do you get the sort of trouble I'm in?"

The Rain Guardian sighed and looked up at the sky. "It hasn't even been half a day since we left the Tiagaro and they're already giving us trouble?" He sighed again. "When'd you say that you were going to meet her?"

"The 17th," Gokudera replied immediately. "On the Sicilian base. Can you come?"

"I suppose I must." Yamamoto looked away from the sky and to Gokudera. "But what am I supposed to say to her? I suppose she'll want to meet with you alone and won't want anyone, let alone me, around. But then again, it's not like she knows about us so it won't matter if it's me or any other random person." He sighed for the third time. "Do you want me to go with you into the meeting room, or wherever it is that you're meeting her in, or … ?"

"Not with," the Storm said firmly. "Definitely not with."

"Then what do you need me for?"

"Just … I don't know. For … backup. If she starts getting too close, I'll make some sort of signal and you can come in and be a distraction so that she has to vie for my attention."

Yamamoto let out a weak laugh.

"Wow. I never thought that I'd one day have to distract you from being too romantically interested in someone else. Like, _never_, in _all_ the time that I was chasing after you, did I think that someone else would be a threat. And now this now that we've been together for what, almost five years?" He laughed again. "What the hell is this?"

"Look, I'm real sorry, but it's just acting," said Gokudera apologetically, looking away from Yamamoto and out across the Vongola grounds again. "And it's just business, right? Nothing we haven't done before. You didn't have a problem with the flirting."

"Yeah, but flirting isn't the same as marriage, Hayato. And it's not the same as getting into a relationship even without the marriage. Is all that really necessary?"

"I wouldn't do this normally, not with some small Family, but the Tiagaro …," Gokudera struggled with his words. "They've got real power. Not in the same way that we do, that the Vongola does, of course, not on the battlefield and not in the courtrooms, but socially, they're the top. We have an intense, jabbing sort of influence; they have a wide one that reaches every corner. Together, in a business agreement, and in something as significant as weapons control … it'll open up so many doorways for us. The potential is almost limitless." Near the end, his tone was one that sounded very much like awe.

Yamamoto nodded slowly and crossed his arms. He looked out across the base in the same direction as Gokudera. "Uhm, before I say anything else, have you talked to Tsuna about this?"

"No, not yet. I need to think of some definite plans that I'll say to Adelina before I go to him. And besides, I sort of wanted to put this through you first."

"… I see." The black-haired man ruffled his hair in the afternoon breeze and smiled shortly. "Well, you hardly need my permission since you seem so set on going through this, aren't you? Or do you want my blessing for you to get in a relationship with Adelina?"

Gokudera didn't miss the sarcasm. He went right up to Yamamoto and looked him in the face with a serious sincere expression.

"Takeshi. I want you," he said, not breaking eye-contact, "to think about the last night, and us 'sneaking out of the dance,' as you put it, and ask yourself if you would still say what you just said to me again." The request was half challenge and half appeal.

Yamamoto blinked at him but then did as requested and closed his eyes, brining up the recent memory of the last night. He had spent hundreds of minutes on the Tiagaro base, the vast majority of those minutes spent in flirting with random women or disavowing his relationship with the man currently in front of him. Out of those hundreds of minutes, he could count the minutes he had spent with Gokudera with only his two hands and still have one or two fingers left over. And yet, that sparse amount of time, he instinctively felt and knew, held more personal significance to him than all the rest of the time put together, and somehow, he knew that Gokudera would feel the same way. He opened his eyes. Gokudera was giving him a small smile.

"Nothing's going to happen to us," Gokudera said, still tentatively smiling. He picked up his sandwich from the terrace and started eating it again. "And even if Adelina turns out to be more serious than I thought, it'll be months and months before marriage is brought to the table. You're okay with all this, then, yeah?"

Yamamoto paused for a moment then grinned back, his brief sense of slight discontent banished. He resumed eating his sandwich as well.

"Yeah, it's cool," he replied. "But do you think you'll be able to pull off the deal without getting together with her? Like you said, Adelina's not stupid."

Gokudera shrugged. "Who knows? She'll be a tough one to crack. Most likely we'll just tease around the borders for a while before anything comes up. If you want, I'll keep you updated as things progress."

"That'd be nice, but you don't have to do that. I mean, I trust you."

Gokudera crumpled up the sandwich paper foil and threw it in a nearby trashcan.

"I'll keep you updated," he promised.

/

* * *

After lunch, the pair went to their respective offices and typed up their reports on the Tiagaro social gathering event.

It was hard work, but purely intellectual work, work that didn't involve feelings to complicate things. Yamamoto got through it faster than he had expected, but it still took him the rest of the day to complete. He went through his final draft edit and sent it to Gokudera just before the office work-hours ended.

He went home and did the usual, reading the news, updating himself on any new technology or changes in real estate, and taking a shower. It wasn't unusual for Gokudera to not make himself available until dinnertime, so Yamamoto hopped into the showers without much concern. When he got out of the shower, however, Gokudera still wasn't anywhere around as far as he could tell. Yamamoto surfed the Internet and read part of a novel, checking for the time every fifteen minutes, before he heard movements coming from the Storm apartment of their dual complex. Considering that he hadn't heard Gokudera come in, he realized that Gokudera must have come while he had still been in the shower and just hadn't made his presence known.

Yamamoto walked over to the Storm apartment slowly, wondering why the other man had been avoiding him.

"Hey," he said, walking into the bedroom where Gokudera was. "I'm guessing you wrote the report on the Tiagaro? I sent you mine. Didja get it?"

"Yeah and yeah." Gokudera was sitting on his bed, reading a book. "I'm really tired. Did you eat dinner already?"

"No I haven't," replied Yamamoto. He moved towards the bed and sat on the edge of it. "I'm not too hungry right now, though. But do you want to eat?"

Gokudera shook his head.

"You're stressing out, aren't you. Want me to give you a shot of Rain?"

Gokudera put his book down and shook his head more firmly. "You know that I don't resort to that unless I'm about to go berserk. I don't want to be dependent on it."

"You might as well say that you don't want to be given Sun Flames when you're wounded," the Rain Guardian quipped. "Now tell me what's on your mind."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Yeah, sure you don't. Please don't insult my intelligence. Is this still about Adelina?"

Gokudera sighed and put his book away. His face was strained. "Order dinner and I'll tell you."

Accepting this answer for the moment, Yamamoto called the Vongola refectory and, after asking Gokudera what he wanted, ordered dinner for both of them. The dinner was delivered to their door before long and when they had both been seated at the dining room, Yamamoto looked pointedly at Gokudera.

Gokudera ignored the look and just kept eating. Knowing that Gokudera was purposely stalling and playing with him, Yamamoto didn't directly ask him until they were both halfway through their dinner. Then, having come to the end of his patience, he took a big breath to ask, only to be stopped by Gokudera putting his hand up.

"It's not about Adelina," were the first words that the Storm said. Then he followed that statement with, "At least, not in the way that you think."

"Alright then." Yamamoto let out his breath. "Please explain."

"I don't know how I'm going to explain all this to Tsuna. Not to put him down, but I don't think he'll really get the significance of this situation," Gokudera said, putting his utensils down and running his fingers through his hair. "You have to remember that he isn't as versed or as steeped in Mafia history and culture as I am. I was actually surprised that you were so okay with it, even given our relationship."

"Don't you mean even _despite_ our relationship? I had to, after all, give you the okay to date someone else, even if it's only technical."

"You're thinking about Adelina more than her implied offer of partnership. I'm talking about her offer. I don't think Tsuna's going to realize how big this is. I mean, this is mind-bogglingly huge. We'll basically be making history."

"Well, be that as it may," said Yamamoto, unimpressed. "Why is Tsuna possibly not realizing the magnitude of this offer something that's got you so worked up?" he asked, not allowing himself to be deterred from his original task of finding out why the man next to him was upset. "As long as the business deal doesn't involve killing civilian's or something, it's not like he'll tell you no. In fact, if it has to do with environmentalism and keeping nuclear radiation levels down, he'll probably love you for it."

"He'll like that bit, yeah, but what about the socio-political implications? I'm not just talking about us or me and Adelina, I mean the Vongola role and interaction with Mafia Families. With this, we'll be making ourselves more connected and open than ever. Tsuna usually steers away from expansion because he thinks that it'll up the potential of corruption, and that's true enough, but if he realizes how huge a possible partnership could be, he might make an exception. Do you see where I'm getting at?"

Yamamoto tapped his chin with one finger as he chewed thoughtfully. He spoke when he had swallowed.

"You think that there's a chance that he might refuse the partnership unless he realizes what the partnership can do, then? Is that really a problem?"

The right-hand man nodded fervently. "For him, it might be. But even for all the rest of us, it should be a factor in considering the partnership. Besides corruption, raising the number of Families that we closely work with means raising the chances of possible disagreement, which means that the chances of making enemies and going to war will also go up. You know how strained and sensitive anything that has to do with nuclear weaponry is. The Families who want to keep using nuclear, and they're usually the maverick groups, will certainly hate and be threatened by this type of partnership. That means possible outbreak of war."

"Holy hell!" Yamamoto exclaimed, almost chocking. "And here I was, thinking that our relationship was the highest cost that we had to pay! When did all this escalate to worldwide nuclear war and why didn't you tell me this before?!"

"I wasn't really sure of all this before! Why do you think I got home a bit later than usual? I was rifling through the Mafia database and going through all the related news, trying to figure out what the potential backlash would be!"

"For gods' sake! With all this risk, why are you so set on the partnership with the Tiagaro? Please tell me that it's not just for reputation or power or something. It's not worth it."

"I would actually disagree with that, but yes, there are additional reasons. Even when there's no war and no warheads being exploded, a lot of the Mafia uses nuclear energy for a whole lot of things. The radiation leaks out constantly from Mafia factories and generators and is, I would guess, almost forty percent or so of the modern radiation pollution, and considering our current increasing leak patterns and how radiation lingers, the Mafia will be responsible for almost eighty percent of all radiation in just thirty years. If we spread word and enforce the Flame technology, we won't have this problem and lots of people won't be getting cancer or having birth defects!"

Yamamoto groaned. "So it's either save the world by preventing nuclear pollution or destroy the world by starting nuclear war, is that what you're saying?" He slapped his hand on his forehead. "What are the chances of a possible world war starting?"

"Well, that's the thing, isn't it? The chances aren't all that high, actually," Gokudera told him honestly. "I haven't officially calculated them yet, but even a ten percent chance is high when we're talking nuclear world war."

The Rain Guardian pushed away from the kitchen table and shook his head ruefully. Then he stared wildly at Gokudera.

"How _are_ you going to explain all of this to Tsuna?! The stakes that argue against the partnership are so tremendous! The exposure, the war, our relationship?!"

"Well," said Gokudera, also pushing his chair away from the table, "I _was_ going to tell him how my key method of getting the partnership is to try to hit it off with Adelina, but … I think that I won't mention that now. So … try to keep that quiet, will you?"

Yamamoto picked up his plate and put it in the sink.

"I don't know Gokudera," he said, ending their discussion. "I just hope you know what you're doing."

* * *

**Ooh la la. A strain on their relationship? Nuclear war? Keeping secrets?**

**I found this chapter extremely amusing to write. This chapter alone is enough material for me to work on for at least five chapters after this. I love it. I hope you (my readers) do too.**

**Please review and tell me what you think!**


	15. And So It Began

**Alright, the fifteenth chapter is up!**

**I'll leave you to it.**

* * *

"Well, at least Tsuna's given us the okay for the Sicily meeting," said Yamamoto to Gokudera as the pair left the Sky Office.

"Of course he did. That was a given," the other man responded, sorting and flipping through the files that he held as he walked through the gridded hallways. "It's what comes _after_ that counts. And he's feeling a bit cautious about it, to say the least."

He restlessly thumbed the hard files in the folder as he walked, his stride never slowing even in his stressed absentmindedness. Yamamoto kept pace with him, watching his characteristically unsettled behavior.

"Don't you reckon we should trust him and trash this whole thing, then?" he offered cautiously. "I mean, he's got the hyper intuition and all so if he feels off about it, shouldn't we steer clear?"

"Yes, he has the hyper intuition," Gokudera replied, "Not fortune-telling skills. He gets like this every time we send out a force, even if it's the Varia, and everyone's always turned out more or less alright before. You know that. Anyways, there's no cause for anyone to panic just yet. There's plenty of time for that after Sicily."

"Let me see then," Yamamoto said, looking at his watch and only half joking. "So … that gives me about 27 hours to chill before I can start panicking?"

"You? Don't you mean me?" quipped the Storm. "And aren't you supposed to be the Rain Guardian, as in the person who always keeps cool?"

Yamamoto sighed. "Yes, and that I'm the Rain Guardian and feeling worried about this should be a sign to you that this is some serious shit to play around with. You know, I sometimes think that you've gotten so used to risk that you don't really consider the risk that you're heading into. You _know_ what the consequences might be, but you don't really _feel_ it."

"And have I ever, with anything? Emotions are unreliable."

"They're not as useless as you claim to think," Yamamoto responded patiently but firmly. "Sometimes they're so that you have to follow them. You're the science whiz between us; haven't you ever heard of psychodynamics and how repressed feelings live in your subconscious and cause psychological problems?"

"Wow, you're such a sweet talker. _Such_ a sweet talker. I mean, everyone knows that that's why I fell for you," Gokudera said sarcastically. "Who can resist being told that they have psychological problems?"

Yamamoto sighed again, but then he had to laugh. "Come on, you know what I mean. And hey, how _did_ you fall for me then?"

"I didn't," said Gokudera seriously. "I chose and I choose to be with you. It's based on cognition. And you should be right thankful that that's the case."

"What do you mean?" The Rain tried not to show his surprise. "I mean, I'm glad we're together and all, but …"

"I mean that whatever affection I feel for you is intellectually driven," Gokudera said, managing to make even love sound didactic. "I'm not crazy about you but I'm committed, see? So I'm saying that you should be happy about this because, to use the clique analogy of love being like chemistry, my feelings for you aren't reactive. They're stable."

Yamamoto was even more unsure as to how to respond to this. "Uhm," he said. "And stable is good?"

"Of _course_ stable is good! Medicine being stable is good. Bombs being stable is good," said the Storm, waving his files around. Then he tilted his head on second thought. "Well, actually, I guess that depends on what you want the bombs to do, but interpreting stable as controlled, that's good for explosives. And for emotions."

"Ah, I see!" Yamamoto did feel quite happy by what he had just heard. This description of feelings wasn't his ideal, but he understood that this was just Gokudera's academic way of saying things. He grinned and playfully snatched one of the file folders from his partner. "No worries about Adelina stealing you away, then?"

"I can't believe this. You think I'm that easy?"

Yamamoto had to laugh. "Oh gods no. Believe me, _I know_ you're not easy."

/

* * *

Despite the confidence that he had felt in the Vongola secret main headquarters, Yamamoto couldn't help feeling that slightest bit of worry when the announcement rang through the foyer that the Tiagaro Chief Diplomat Adelina had come onto the base grounds.

Gokudera got up from beside him and started heading for the door. "Come on, let's go meet them."

Yamamoto followed, his eyebrow lifted a little quizzically. "I thought that this wasn't an official meeting."

"It's not." The Vongola right-hand threw open the double doors and stepped out into the bright Sicilian sunlight. Far off, the Tiagaro escort cars were coming down the neatly paved main road.

"Then why are we here to take them in? We don't follow polite procedure if the visiting isn't on official business meeting or a friendly visit. Even if this is casual, this is hardly friendly when the Tiagaro aren't our allies, or at least not yet."

"Ah, but we're here to make them our allies," Gokudera pointed out, not taking his eyes off the assembly of cars that was approaching. "So it doesn't hurt to extend this gesture to encourage them to work with us. But politics isn't the only reason for this."

"So the other reason is… ?"

"What do you think it is? I'm showing interest. In Adelina, I mean," said Gokudera, still watching the cars sweeping down the long front road. "Waiting out for her implies that I've been looking forward to her arrival."

"Well, alright. I guess this is clever and all, but is this–"

"–Shh. Quiet, now," interrupted Gokudera, cutting off Yamamoto's question as to whether this was really necessary. "They're about to pull in."

The silver limousine, led, flanked, and followed by four smaller escort and security cars, pulled into the driveway in the next five seconds. When they came to a stop, an accompanying Tiagaro service worker stepped quickly out of one of the escort cars and stepped smartly to the end of the limousine. He reached out to the handle and in the next moment, the butterfly door slid up and open.

Adelina stepped out of the limousine.

She looked as beautiful as ever. Instead of wearing a suit as she would on hard official meetings, she wore a simple but tasteful dress that looked well-fitting to this semi-formal occasion and a matching blazer on top. She had barely put on any cosmetics because she didn't need it and her only visible jewelry was a platinum chain necklace. She looked the epitome of classiness and everybody in the vicinity knew it.

Gokudera walked up to her, holding out his hand. "Adelina," he said smiling. "It's good to see you again."

"And I, you," she responded, taking his hand and shaking it. Her grip was gentle and firm at once in a good balance, a clear sign of being experienced at dealing with people. "I experienced the most enjoyable drive-through just now as we came through your base."

"Ah yes. I fear, however, that the view is more attributed to the natural scenery of Sicily than the Vongola." The Storm smoothly led his guest to the front platform where Yamamoto was and gestured to him. "Our Rain Guardian Yamamoto," he introduced. "I think you may have met him on your base a few days ago? Yamamoto, Adelina."

"We briefly met, though we were never properly introduced," Adelina said, shaking hands with Yamamoto and then putting her hand on a slim but solid-looking suited man who had come to stand a little behind her. "Gokudera, Yamamoto, this is Raphael, my secondary and secretary. I hope you don't mind him coming with us for at least a short while?"

"Of course not. Yamamoto will be joining us briefly as well," replied Gokudera, shaking hands with Raphael and then opening the door for the rest of the company to let them in. "Please, come in."

The four filed into the cool foyer.

Adelina took in a quiet breath of admiration as she looked up at the high domed ceiling. Yamamoto, though he had done little but look around the building ever since he himself had arrived some several hours ago, did the same. The building looked as impressive as ever.

The Sicilian base of Vongola, being one of the earliest and oldest bases of the Family, had been built in a mix of the Romanesque-Gothic style and the Roman architectural style with many arabesque decorations painstakingly carved into the stone pillars and epic tapestries covering the walls. This being the Mafia, it didn't seem quite right to say that the structure looked like a Roman Catholic cathedral, but as the Storm strode into the center of the marble floor, a little bit ahead of the others, Yamamoto couldn't help being reminded of the Parthenon and thinking that Gokudera looked like a Greek god. He glanced at Adelina and wondered if she was thinking the same thing.

"I am so embarrassed," she said, laughing a little. "Your base is far more beautiful than mine, I fear. You must have thought the Tiagaro base quite drab."

Gokudera smiled at the compliment. "Ours is pretty perhaps," he said modestly, going up a curved staircase. "But vulnerable as a result." He slid his hand, almost affectionately, across the smooth buffed-stone inside surface of a hallway as he led the others into it. He flashed a grin. "Why do you suppose we are so concerned about weapons control?"

He turned a little and looked at Adelina. "Whereas your base could survive even an apocalyptic nuclear bombardment, I wager," he said, throwing her a compliment of his own.

"No, that would be the Vongola main base," she replied, "If any Family foolish enough to try to attack it could even find it to begin with."

Gokudera laughed at the reference to the absolute secrecy of the Vongola secret main base that no one had ever managed to crack and thanked her with a wider smile and a nod. Then he stopped at one of the doors in the hallway and opened it. "Here we are."

The room beyond the opened door wasn't so much as a conference room as a parlor. One wall was all windows, made out of two huge panes of crystal glass, and had a door that opened onto a balcony that overlooked the back of the Vongola base mansion. A couple of chandeliers hung sedately from the ceiling, but they were hardly needed as the entirety of the room was flooded with clean white natural light. There were two moderately-large black granite tables in the room, both surrounded by smart tan suede chairs that, while formal-looking, turned out to be comfortable when sat on.

Yamamoto didn't really have an opportunity to say much, the subject not being in his main interest or forte, and the conversation was held by Adelina and Gokudera primarily, but he did sit next to Gokudera on one side of the table and observe Adelina, who was on the other side.

She was indeed supremely put-together and as beautiful in her mannerisms as she was in appearance. Yamamoto, never having really spoken with her before, had been curious as to how she might be based off of Gokudera's comments about her. When the right-hand man had spoken about her, there had been a definite tone of respect in his voice and it had been clear that Adelina was perceived as an equal, unlike most of the Mafia, which Gokudera did not find up to his standards. It was apparent that Adelina, as could be told even in the first ten minute of small talk, met all those standards. If her curve of her lips was perfect, her enunciation and oratory was even better.

Yamamoto, even though no one knew better than him how impenetrable Gokudera really was, couldn't help feeling a little miffed as he saw how Gokudera was tempering his stark professionalism with friendliness when he was talking to her. Seeing him laugh so easily and agreeably to her words, he had to keep on reminding himself that it was just an act.

The conversation topic started turning towards the reason why this casual meeting had been called in the first place. Gokudera was talking about how all the ancient paintings around the world, including some of the tapestries inside the Vongola mansion, were at risk of being severely damaged because of pollution and radiation. Adelina responded admirably and helped to shift the tone of the conversation to a slightly more business-like angle. Before long, a plasma screen had been brought and she and Gokudera were discussing the statistics that they were pulling up from the online Mafia database.

"This trend is particularly puzzling considering the consistent spread that radiation has," Adelina was saying. "Of course it depends on the element and the particle, but it's to my understanding that most of the warheads produced today use gamma rays that run at a constant acceleration. Since this is the case, this graph should not be curving up like this and this data chart should not be spiking here," she said, pointing out the irregularities on the screen.

"It's partly because of the leaks from warheads as they travel to their destination." Gokudera said. "You were correct in saying that the initial force of the explosion has more or less been the same over the past half century, but the reach parameters have shifted and the travel courses have gotten shakier as the density of the reaction has increased. It's the small but significant changes. Most missile producers aren't using the available technology to stop the leaks because economically, it's counterproductive."

"You're speaking of the opportunity cost? But even putting aside the inevitable opportunity cost that hurting the environment causes for the long-term, using raw nuclear is still more expensive than Flames. Not to mention that Flames are more powerful."

"Yes, but getting started with Flames needs an incredible boost because of the installation technology. It's marketed, of course, but at its current price, it can be called virtually unobtainable. Not to mention that it needs to be kick-started with a level of charge that can knock out a small force. Flames are more powerful, it's true, but the Families that are constantly scuffling around the Levant are like how the German states used to be before Bismarck centralized them. They're reluctant to weaken themselves even for a moment, even if the end-result is that they strengthen and improve themselves, because they're too scared of being taken over in that one moment."

"Ah. So you're saying that they won't stop the leak that happens during travel, even if it weakens the actual explosion, because of the politics surrounding the initial capital?" She sighed. "Yes, I suppose I can't fault them for that. I admit that the Tiagaro, even with its social security, hesitated for months before it contracted with Verde. But how effective can we be as their Bismarck?"

Gokudera noted how Adelina used the term 'social security' instead of the expected term 'neutrality' and felt a spike of excitement. It was just as he had thought: Adelina was nearing the brink of bringing up the idea of a partnership. He had to be the tipping point to push her over the edge.

"The Vongola contracted with Verde as well," he said, "Although we made a few modifications with the technology." He folded his arms loosely on top of the table for closer distance and looked at the woman in front of him, willing his face to look less serious and his voice more soft. "But before we switched to Flames, we started off with simply dealing with the leaks. And that's what most Families will be comfortable with starting with. Not everyone will want to, or even can, take the leap directly," he continued. "We may have to start off small, just with helping to cut down the radiation leak at first." The latter 'we' that he used denoted the collaboration of the Tiagaro and the Vongola or, more personally, Adelina and himself.

"Will that cause any significant change?" Adelina asked, tilting her head slightly in a charming way. "Do you, perchance, have any statistics that show the before and after of your missiles' leaks?"

Gokudera eased back in his seat and rifled through the Mafia database though he well knew that such information about personalized Vongolan technology would never be found on any public arena.

"Ah. It seems that that particular data is not available here," he said, as though this were a mild surprise to him. "I do know that it is on the specialized Vongola database, but this monitor doesn't connect to that, I'm afraid. Unless…?" He looked at Yamamoto, giving him the cue to leave by directing his screen pointer towards him on the table.

"There's a supercomputer here that links to the Vongola database and it can send the data here," Yamamoto said, picking up the cue. "It's at a different building, but I can go and send it. All this talk of world-encompassing matters is making my head spin anyway," he joked, pushing back his chair and standing up.

"Oh, I would hate to inconvenience you in such a way," Adelina genially protested.

"No, it's really quite alright. It's important data, isn't it? I'll go and send it to you." Yamamoto pushed in his chair and started walking around the table.

"Well, if the Vongola insists on showing us its data, the Tiagaro must as well," Raphael suddenly put in even before Yamamoto had gotten fully around the table. "Our database can be picked up from our limousine, correct?" he asked Adelina.

Adelina nodded. "Yes, part of it."

"Then I'll go as well. It's only fair, and besides," Raphael glanced at his watch. "I just remembered that I'm due for a meeting with the boss. I'm terribly sorry for suddenly leaving you like this," he said, reaching out his hand and shaking hands with Gokudera in farewell. He turned back to Adelina. "I'll send the cars back when I get off at the airport. Also, since you'll probably want more than just that specific data for comparison, I'll send you a complete packet file. If you need anything else, just message me and I'll send them your way as I can find them."

"Same with me," said Yamamoto from where he was standing by the door, addressing mostly Gokudera. "And I'll escort Raphael outside on my way to the other building. If you want me, call me."

He opened the door and held it for Raphael as the other man walked out. Then he stepped out as well through the open doorway, holding onto the door handle.

"Good luck with the data analysis. I'll leave you two to it," Yamamoto said, and shut the door.

/

* * *

It was only at around five, two hours after the Tiagaro had first arrived at three, that Yamamoto got a call from Gokudera.

"Yeah?" he said, answering his phone, and feeling weirdly relieved. "Are you done?"

"Yes. Come to the main building."

"Alright, meet you there."

Yamamoto immediately stopped reading the online news that was on his screen and clicked out of all open tabs. Picking up his blazer that he had thrown over the back of the swivel chair, he hurried out of the computer room to meet Gokudera.

When he got to the front door of the main building, he saw Gokudera standing next to Adelina on the top of the platform steps. From ten meters away, the pair looked almost unbelievably impressive. Perhaps it was the mutual professionalism and cutting intelligence that they both possessed, which showed on both of their faces and body language, or the strong Italian facial settings, but the two of them looked like female and male counterparts of each other. Besides that their skin-tones were a few shades apart and that they had different hair-colors, they looked like they matched in every way. Yamamoto fought the creeping sense of awe and insecurity as he walked up to them.

"How did the rest of the meeting go?" he asked, stopping at the end of the platform and letting the two step forward a little.

"It was very nice, thank you," Adelina replied, smiling radiantly. "After we talked over the data, Gokudera even went to the trouble of showing me around the building. It's quite the private museum that you have in there."

"It was no trouble," said Gokudera, bowing his head graciously. "I was only returning the favor that you extended to me on your base."

Not too far away, the Tiagaro limousine and escort cars were coming off a side driveway to pick up Adelina. Yamamoto, feeling a little bit like an outsider, quietly watched the automobile troop approach with the pleasantly mellow voices of both Gokudera and Adelina in the background mixing with the soft whisper of the Sicilian breeze and the rush of the ocean waves just beyond the buildings. Every once in a while, the two laughed together, seemingly in harmony, their uniquely toned chimes riding on the wind like music notes.

The silver limousine smartly pulled up directly in front of them and stopped. The butterfly door that Adelina had stepped out of before again sleekly rose up.

Adelina turned to Gokudera and held out her hand to shake his in farewell.

Instead of simply shaking her hand, however, Gokudera took her hand in a different hold and started personally escorting her to the limousine.

Adelina smiled in surprise and looked quite pleased. She walked with Gokudera to the door, Yamamoto following a few steps behind. Then she smoothly let go of Gokudera's hand and seated herself on the cured leather passenger seat.

"It was an immense pleasure meeting you again," she said, looking up from her seat and making eye-contact with first Gokudera and then Yamamoto. "I look forward to our next meeting date."

"And I as well," Gokudera responded, bowing a little. Standing a little behind him, Yamamoto did the same, wondering when and how their next date was going to be.

Adelina smiled and nodded and then the butterfly door slid down and the limousine, along with the rest of the escort and security cars, pulled out of the driveway and started back down the main road. The two Vongola Guardians watched the cars silently for a couple of seconds and then looked at each other.

"Well, how was it?" asked Yamamoto.

"It went well. Very well." Despite these happy words, Gokudera's voice sounded curiously flat and a bit uninterested. "I'm very happy with the way that things went. We only casually talked about possible strategies, nothing's set, but our interests obviously coincide." He took in a deep breath of the cool afternoon air and stretched, rolling his shoulders back. Then he turned to Yamamoto with a faint smile. "Do you want to go for a walk before we head back to the main base? The weather's nice."

"Oh." Yamamoto was pleasantly surprised. "Sure! Yeah, I'd like that. But can I change first?"

Gokudera nodded. "Let's both go change."

/

When they both had changed and stepped back out into the outside air, the sky seemed a little less bright but the atmosphere was still optimal. The two decided to walk on the stone-laid pathway that went through the base's personal park.

Neither of them spoke. For one, they didn't need to: they were comfortable enough in each other's presence that they could keep a casual silence. For two, Yamamoto knew better than to ask again how the meeting with Adelina had went and press him for details. He had said that he trusted him and he was going to hold to it. If Gokudera found anything personally significant enough to tell him, he would in due time.

They both just tried to enjoy the scenery. The grass was dark green, the path just rough enough to feel through the soles of their shoes and just sandy enough to mold to the curves of their feet. The narrow road stretched ahead, winding only a little bit as it descended down the hill, and the end curved out of sight behind a cliff of whipped craggy rocks on its route to the ocean.

Twenty meters away from the cliff, Gokudera wordlessly went off the path. Yamamoto didn't follow immediately, thinking at first that he had just seen something that had marginally caught his eye and would return in a moment. It was only after a half-minute or so of watching the other man walk slowly and purposelessly across the flinty grass that he realized that Gokudera had gone off the path simply because he wanted to leave the path and for no other reason.

The Storm ran his fingers through his thick hair once, letting the wind catch at the silver strands. He was wearing a thin navy t-shirt that flowed close to his body and loose khaki pants. He had been wearing worn leather loafers, but he had kicked them off a couple of steps off the path and was now ambling along barefooted, hands deep in his pockets, head held high, and eyes closed. Yamamoto quickly closed the distance between them and put his hand on Gokudera's shoulder.

"Doesn't that hurt?" he asked, glancing meaningfully down at Gokudera's feet and then partially back up. Gokudera's t-shirt sleeves were short and only covered his shoulders, leaving the rest of his arms exposed to the hale but dimming sunlight. The scars he had accumulated over the years shone white but not searingly so. They had healed well enough by this point that the residue ridges were only barely perceptible. Yamamoto thought about how Gokudera always had full-length sleeves on when he was with most everyone else besides him and wondered what Adelina would think of Gokudera's arms if she ever saw them. Her arms, as he had seen them, had looked practically untouched.

Gokudera smiled that faint smile again, looking vaguely at a point next to Yamamoto's head. "I'm alright," he said. "It doesn't hurt at all." His low soft voice was a little hard to make out over the sound of the sea. He turned a few degrees away to look beyond the rocks. "Were you bored while you were waiting for my meeting with Adelina to end?"

"Nah. I wasn't bored." Yamamoto slid his fingers up and down Gokudera's upper arm. Like Gokudera, he spoke slowly. "I entertained myself by surfing the net and such. You didn't miss me? We usually work together on meetings, after all."

"The atmosphere felt a bit different. A little bit odd. But nothing too bad." A pause. "Do you think she likes me?"

"Mhm." The Rain shrugged and then nodded. "Yeah. I thought so. She seemed at least a tad bit friendlier with you than with me, at least. And then there was Raphael. That was definitely scripted. Well-acted, but still scripted." He slipped off his own loafers and kicked them over to the road where the other pair was and kicked one foot through the dusty grass, one arm around Gokudera and using him for support as he leisurely swung his leg in the salty breeze. "You're as good as ever, Gokudera, don't worry. You did very well." Yamamoto could hardly believe that he'd just complimented the main subject of his heart on occupying the heart of another, but he had said it, and sincerely no less.

The addressed man let out a tiny sigh, his brow furrowing at something only he saw coming in the distance. "Yeah. I suppose I did. She asked to meet again here on the first of the next month."

"The first? That's two weeks from today! Are you really up for it?"

"I have to be, don't I? We're close, very close, to really getting somewhere with this." It was uncertain as to whether Gokudera meant the 'we' as in the Vongola or as the pair currently standing together before the craggy sea rocks. "I'll have to start going on a lot more meetings and other social gatherings before long, not just with the Tiagaro but with the other Families to start introducing this denuclearization idea to them. So I apologize in advance." He sighed and then leaned back in Yamamoto, feeling a little tired already. "But it'll all be worth it and more if this works."

"Well, I certainly call saving civilians, innocents, and the world in general something worthwhile," said Yamamoto, "But … try not to neglect yourself too much in the process, will you? We both know how you sometimes overload and stress-out. Frankly, I'm a bit more concerned with a you fallout than a nuclear fallout right in the moment."

Gokudera pulled gently out of Yamamoto's hold and ruffled his hair in the wind again. He walked up to the edge of the cliff and looked out into the shimmering sea. The silver strands of his hair flashed and glinted brighter than Yamamoto could ever recall Adelina's platinum necklace doing.

"I'm concerned that pretty soon, I won't be able to tell the difference between the two." He turned partially around. His voice could barely be heard over the wind, which was now picking up its windspeed. "I feel like the course of the world is tied to me, if that makes any sense. If I crash-and-burn, we all crash-and-burn." He turned his gaze back to over the cliff.

"Come on now, you're getting melodramatic," said the Rain firmly, stepping forward and taking the Storm around the chest. He tugged the frayed man away from the cliff and led him back to the path. "You feel like you need crash into bed, that's what it is. What you need to do right now is stop worrying after the rest of the universe and maybe just focus on yourself and us for once." He held Gokudera by the wrist as they both put on their shoes. "Come on, let's get you home."

* * *

_**! BIG ANNOUNCEMENT !**_

**Since this story is getting so damned long (I call fifteen chapters fairly long) and it's also taken a little bit of a shift in plot, I'm thinking of continuing this on another story as sort of a sequel-but-not-really-a-sequel-because-it's-a-continuation story.**

**What do you think of the possibility of continuing this on a different story and if you agree, what do you think the title should be?**

**At any rate, as always, please review.**


	16. Dealing with the Deal

**I've finally uploaded again, as you can see. Please excuse the delay.**

**If you ask me, this chapter is a little chaotic, but I suppose the plot material in itself is chaotic so perhaps this is not unusual.**

**Hope you like!**

* * *

Gokudera tried to relax on the plane ride back to the Vongola secret main base. The private mini-jet could seat twenty people extremely comfortably in separate sections of four, but Yamamoto pointedly sat in the same section as Gokudera though he knew the Storm's habit of secluding himself during transport, especially if it was after missions or meetings.

The Storm looked at him tiredly when he sat down on the seat opposite, but didn't comment. Instead, he turned his face away and to the window, looking outside to the crushing atmospheric pressure and restlessly fingering the hems of his blazer jacket, letting his body language speak for itself.

Yamamoto picked up on the silent message of wanting to be left alone that Gokudera was sending him and ignored it, just like he had done so many innumerable times before when he knew what was better for Gokudera than the actual man himself did. He leaned back and tried to just take in Gokudera's stressed movements, but it wasn't long before he felt that he had to say something.

"So," he said, feeling a little awkward and keeping his voice down so that it was barely audible over the constant buzz in the plane. "What are you gonna do when we get back?"

Gokudera shrugged without looking at him. "Talk to Tsuna, maybe. This upcoming deal's starting to get serious now."

"Oh, so do you think that this is all going to work out, then? I thought, since you didn't, you know, seem that happy after we got off the meeting," said Yamamoto, trying to sound casual but choosing his words carefully, "that you were still feeling iffy about your chances."

"Nothing's certain, but considering how Adelina hardly talked about politics at all – and politics is both the sweetener and the main deterrent factor in this deal – it can be assumed that the Tiagaro are too economically focused on this deal to back out at this point." Gokudera turned his face towards Yamamoto as he spoke but didn't move his eyes away from looking outside. His reply, though it had been a true enough answer, felt brutally curt and to the point, a direct contrast and a far stretch from the artistically elaborate arrangement of words that he had exchanged with Adelina.

However, Yamamoto wasn't bothered by this difference just yet. "Economically focused? You didn't tell me before that financial gain was a significant factor in this deal."

"It's not for the Vongola because we don't distribute our weaponry." The Storm still sounded neither interested nor disinterested in what he was saying. "The Tiagaro makes their trade selling their manufactured weapons and they can make a fortune if this deal works."

"Okay, so, are you saying that Adelina's more motivated by the money than by–"

"–Takeshi, sorry for interrupting, but…" The tone of his voice still hadn't changed, but it was precisely that slow tonelessness that made the interruption that much more poignant. "… Can you hold off the interrogation until later and let me have a bit of time to myself here?"

Yamamoto thought about letting the other man alone, but then started wondering if he could possibly shoot him with some Rain Flame to relax him and get him to keep talking. Without making a reply, he took one of the hands that Gokudera was still using to worry his jacket hems and decided to take a chance. He stroked the back of Gokudera's hand, slowly and invisibly seeping in his Flame Element with every touch. The Storm blinked at what he was doing for a moment and then sat a little looser in his seat with his eyes half-closed.

"You know," he drawled almost sleepily after a few minutes of this treatment, "I may be resistant to most drugs, but I can still tell if something's been put in my system." He opened his eyes fully but didn't pull his hand away. "Did you think I wouldn't notice?"

Yamamoto had to sigh and smile a little in embarrassment. He didn't know whether he should cuss out everything in this world or just give up. "I should have known that you'd pick up on me, but I was giving it a shot anyway," he finally said. "Did you feel the Flames going in?"

"No, but I know something's up when I suddenly start relaxing for no reason at the same time that you're in physical contact with me. Now tell me why."

"You know why. I want you to stop stressing so much. I want to know what happened. With Adelina."

"Didn't you tell me before that I didn't need to report everything to you? I offered and you passed it by."

Not to be shot down, Yamamoto retorted, "Aren't you the one who always talks about how communication is so important? Well, communicate with me."

"Touché. Okay, I'll let you win. What do you want to know?"

"I want to know what I was asking you before you cut me off. Is Adelina or the Tiagaro or whatever more motivated by the money than by you?"

"Honest answer? Maybe half and half. But even if I were only one-tenth of the deal, the deal would be endangered if I backed out now. So to answer your _real_ question, yes, I have to still take the gamble with Adelina."

Although he had been aware of the so-called "gamble" that Gokudera was playing with Adelina for about a week now, for some reason hearing it now still felt as fresh as it did when he had first heard of it. Yamamoto nodded and continued stroking Gokudera's hand in the same worried frenzy that the owner of the hand had done to his jacket hems not ten minutes ago.

"You know that all this is pretty much just a game to me," Gokudera said indifferently. "There's no need for you to be so bothered about Adelina. She's not even my focus point, after all. Politics is."

"Be that as it may, but… don't you feel the tiniest bit bad for pulling the wool over her eyes like this? I mean, forgetting about the politics and environmentalism and all that, that's still deceit and it's messing around with some deeply personal stuff. It might be just a game to you, but… to Adelina?" Yamamoto didn't add, "Not to mention to me," though he wanted to.

"Look, let's not you and me pretend that Adelina's feelings matter more to us than our own." Gokudera said, irritation creeping into his voice at all this indirect questioning. "Forget about her. I won't leave her heartbroken if that's what you're so damned worried about. And talking about deceit, you're sure the shining star in that region, aren't you?"

"What? I don't know what you're talking about."

"Yeah, of course you don't, but I seem to recall you stroking my hand two minutes ago just so you could zap me with your Rain. Using a deceptively affectionate gesture to try to get someone to do something? You're not so different from me."

Yamamoto froze and then pulled his hand away from Gokudera's. "That's different. I had positive motives behind what I did."

"Well, so does mine. And I'm going to be harsh here, but to look at this objectively, it's one life, yours, against hundreds of thousands of civilian lives. You've seen me flirt with countless others, as I have with you, and not even blinked an eye. You can do it one more time for, if nothing else, the good of the common world."

"Hayato, the good of the common world does _not_ rest on you. And even if it does, not on what you're trying with Adelina! You know that you could probably still pull this off without all this, and there are so many cons against it! What if you get caught? What if it goes too fast and you end up officially engaged to her or something? What if you accidently make the deal hitch on you and Adelina hitching up? Why are you so set on getting together with her?"

"Jesus, shoot your_self_ with your Rain Flame, why don't you? Calm _down_," Gokudera said, part-stern, part-alarmed, and part-appeasing. "I don't think you get that the fake relationship with Adelina means as much to me as an unloaded gun. It means nothing, it's not charged with any emotional substance, and it will not hurt us, okay? I'm just using it as an additional sweetener in this deal."

"If it really means nothing, then why are you so stressed out about it, huh?" Yamamoto asked, calming down a tiny bit. "You're not telling me something."

"There are too many factors for me to tell you all at once. I'm telling them to you in the order that they come to me, and if you're not satisfied with that, then too bad. I don't know what else to say to you."

"You didn't have that problem with Adelina," Yamamoto muttered, thinking of how easygoing Gokudera had been with the Tiagaro co-boss and feeling a bit bitter despite himself.

"See, _this_ is why I'm stressed out. Because it's been less than a week since I started this and we're already falling apart. Can I get some goddamn _trust_ for once?"

The jet was very quiet when Gokudera stopped speaking. The only sound in their immediate region was their breathing and the incessant drone of the powerful engines. In the incomplete silence, Yamamoto realized that it was as quiet as it was because the stewards and stewardesses had made themselves scarce, trying to get away from the impending fight that seemed about to break out between the two Guardians. Suddenly it struck him how ridiculous and impossible this entire situation was.

Yamamoto opened his mouth and then shut it. He couldn't think of anything to say, so he looked out the window. He wondered if this was what Gokudera had felt when he had been looking out the window at the boiling clouds before their unfortunate conversation.

"Look, I don't mean to make you feel neglected, but–"

"–No, it's fine," the Rain cut him off as he got off his seat to sit somewhere else. His head felt full of invisible thoughts. "I think I need some time to myself too. Let's just stop talking for right now."

/

* * *

When the jet returned safely to the Vongola base, which was more than could be said for either its two passengers, both Gokudera and Yamamoto got off on their own and went on their own way, determined to keep away from each other until nightfall. Gokudera, after a bit of hesitation, made an appointment with Tsuna, and Yamamoto issued an immediate challenge to Squalo.

Within fifteen minutes, Yamamoto and Squalo were in Training Room #57, which was one of the largest Rooms available, and getting ready to train/ fight.

The Rain of the Varia looked at the Rain of the Vongola and wondered what was going on his head. The Japanese swordfighter didn't even look ready to get out of bed, let alone fight one of the core members of the hard-core killing group, he thought.

"Didn't ya just get back from a mission?" he barked. "What's this all about, then? You look pathetic!"

"I'll be okay," Yamamoto replied quietly. "Just give me a minute or so to stretch and then we'll start."

"You're going to go down in five milliseconds, brat! I don't fight weaklings that are all tired out from a recent mission! This is going to be a waste of my time!"

"I went on a diplomatic mission, not a field one. And if I'm really that out of shape, at least I won't take that much of your time. I'm sure you can spare five milliseconds," came the level answer.

Something about Yamamoto's tone told Squalo that maybe it would be good to shut up for the moment, so he huffed and made a wordless show of being impatient as he let Yamamoto take his time to get ready. Finally, the Vongola Rain, after checking one last time to see if his weapons were securely in place, nodded.

"Same rules as always," he said, moving to stand in the middle of his end of the Room as Squalo did the same on his end. "First person to get at the throat or heart wins and blunt the swords with soft Rain. Got it?"

"Yeah, yeah. Let's just get this done and over with! Voii!" Squalo yelled his characteristic battle cry as he hurtled towards the other sword expert in the Room.

Yamamoto's reaction-time was a little slow at first, but once he had gotten through the first minute, his adrenaline had kicked in properly and his body's muscle memory had come back to him. The fight, more physical than technical, was just what he wanted. Because both the fighters used Rain, using Rain Flame as either an attack or defense was a little pointless because both were immune, so the fight was based more on swordplay and strength than anything else.

Squalo eventually won at a little over seven minutes, having finally pinned Yamamoto against a wall of hard Rain that he had set up with his left sword point firmly over the chest.

"Hah, what did I tell you?" he shouted, though he was still panting. "I told you that you would go down!"

"It took you a bit more time than five milliseconds, though, didn't it? Can we count this as a warm up and fight again?"

"Well…" Squalo would normally have told him no in a heartbeat, but he had really noticed a steady increase in Yamamoto's skill that made him curious to know how much better Yamamoto would fight the second time around. "Fine, but you'd better fight properly this time!"

The two went back to their original fighting positions and started round two.

Yamamoto, before they had started fighting, as he had stretched and gotten ready, had told himself that he wasn't going to let out his frustration at Squalo. After all, his current predicament with Gokudera's newest project wasn't the fault of Squalo, or even Gokudera, as he struggled to tell himself. But as the adrenaline started coursing again in round two and his cognitive sense went creeping under the door as his instinct and reflexes took over, it was hard to keep his emotions from getting the better of him.

Just as he thought that he was definitely getting the upper hand, somehow he found Squalo's sword-tip over his throat.

"What's the matter with you, scum!" Squalo yelled, sounding frustrated himself. "You were doing so well and then you just shut down or some shit! Why'd you ask me to fight if you're so obviously not focused on it!"

"I'm sorry; I just had a moment. Can we–"

"No!" came the very loud reply. Squalo yanked Yamamoto's sword out of his hand and threw it across the room, leaving him quite defenseless. "What the fuck is up with you?! One minute you're fighting like you're going for the title of Sword Emperor and then the next minute, I can't tell you from a little girl with a stick! I haven't seen you fight so weird since that one time when you were deciding between fucking baseball and sword-fighting!"

"Well, it's none of your business," Yamamoto said, pushing the sword-point off his throat and shaking his head to get his bearings.

"Actually, I think it _is_ my business if whatever that's on your mind is affecting your sword-fighting! Now, what the _fuck_ is up?!"

"It's really none of your–"

"–Oh yeah, it is! What, are there too many papers for you to rifle through? Got sick of the Vongola? Don't like the katana? Or is it that stupid bomb-brat of yours? What?!"

"Gokudera's not _mine_," Yamamoto said harshly, cracking a little at the mention of the indirect cause of his problems. "He does his _own_ thing."

"Oh, so it _is_ about him, then!" Squalo crowed. "What, he cheat on you or something?"

"He wouldn't _cheat_! He doesn't have it in him to even consider cheating," Yamamoto said, getting more defensive now that his sense of security was shaking. "We just had a minor disagreement, but it's _nothing_. I can _handle_ it."

"Well, you're not fucking acting or even talking like you can handle it! Anyway, what'd you expect from a relationship from the most psychotic freak in the entire Mafia? And that's saying something considering that I'm from the Varia, bitch!"

"Don't _talk_ about him like that! He just doesn't get the finer niceties of people sometimes, that's all, but he doesn't mean things badly. Besides, I'm not upset about him anymore so just _stop_, will you?"

Squalo didn't buy a word of what Yamamoto said, but after years of living with the Varia psychos, particularly Xanxus, he knew when not to push things. "Chill out, scum," he said, tossing his head dramatically and sweeping out of the Training Room as grandly as he could. "Quit being so whiny and challenge me again when you're not so messed up!"

The quasi- Sword Emperor left the Training Center and banged back into the Varia Headquarters as though he hadn't a care in the world, but he was actually very annoyed by what he had just witnessed while fighting with Yamamoto. Since there were no servants around to torment and the other Varia members were currently in a meeting with Xanxus, meaning that it wouldn't be such a good idea to barge in while their quickly infuriated boss was talking, he decided that he would call up Gokudera to yell at him.

Gokudera, who had been sitting in his office, picked up his phone after the first ring.

Without even giving the Storm space to say "Yes?," Squalo bellowed "Voiii!" into the speaker with all that his vocal chords could muster.

"Hey! You stupid bomb-brat scum!" he yelled. "What the fuck did you do to get Yamamoto so fucked up?"

"Lower your volume," Gokudera calmly answered. "I couldn't make out any words in that one long scream that you just directed my way."

"I said, that I want to know what the fuck you did to Yamamoto!" Squalo yelled right back, not lowering his volume at all.

"I didn't do anything, and even if I did, it's really not your concern, is it?"

"It is when it's making him sword-fight like shit! You know what he just did? He almost had me but then must have zoned out or something because he simply stopped fighting for a second! The fuck is that?! And he says it's something that went down with you that's got him distracted, so spill!"

"Even if I told you, you wouldn't be able to do anything about it. Go yell at your own boss and get blasted into the next century, why don't you? Now, if you'll excuse me, I have an appointment with Tsuna." With that curt statement, Gokudera cut the call, turned off his phone, and left his office to speak to the Vongola boss about his arrangement with Adelina.

As the Storm walked along the hallways towards Tsuna's office, he mused over what Squalo had told him about Yamamoto.

'Jesus Christ, he's more affected by my fling with Adelina than I thought he was,' he thought. 'It must be really bothering him, but what can I do about it? It's just business, after all, at least for me, but it's clear that he's not viewing it in the same way…

Gokudera originally hadn't planned on telling Tsuna about Adelina, but now he wondered if he should. 'It's going to take some doing to explain the how's and why's of this, but even if that's a bit of a hassle, perhaps it would be better than risking a bigger fallout than the one on the plane? After all, the last time that I kept entirely quiet about a relationship problem, everything went to shit, so should I be actively looking for some help this time?'

He had now reached the door of the main office: Tsuna's office.

The Storm knocked politely and entered when a rather cheerful "Come in" was sounded from the inside. As he entered and was led to the side-room where Tsuna asked him if he wanted anything to drink, he was still thinking about whether or not he should tell his boss about his impending faked relationship with the female co-boss of the Tiagaro. And when he started talking about what had been discussed at his latest meeting, he still hadn't decided.

/

* * *

Gokudera's ultimate moment of confession came after he had exhaustively talked about just about everything else.

"Whoa… The pros and cons of this deal are really just tremendous, aren't they?" said Tsuna, quite awed at the massive scale of such a project. "Can we really risk it, though?"

"We'll have to offer some very heavy incentives, sure, to keep things from exploding all around the Levant. Give them at least maybe three decades to switch their weapons and give them a whole lot of help doing it. But it's all possible, _just_ possible, if we team up well with the Tiagaro. Like I said, the Tiagaro has the furthest reach out of any Family in the Mafia, and we have the most power, so together… Wow. We could be something," the Vongola Right Hand said in a tone that definitely showed his awe.

Tsuna laughed. "You sound like you're already in love with this deal," he said. "I mean, I gotta say, to me it sounds like you're hitting it off pretty well with the Tiagaro co-boss so far and it all sounds like it could be fantastic if it's pulled off right! But have you seriously talked to anyone else about this deal except me? It might be good to get a fresh outlook on things."

"… Yes. Damien knows, but I haven't so much talked to him about this than handed him a stack of documents explaining the plan. I'll talk to him later today. The only person I've really talked to about this besides you is, as you might guess, Yamamoto."

"And what'd he say?"

"He said almost the same thing as you. He trusts me to deal with the economical and political aspects of things and he doesn't think it's a bad idea." Gokudera was conscious that he was purposely avoiding the topic of his fling with Adelina, but he was simply reluctant to talk about it after the incident in the jet and he couldn't think of a way to bring up the topic without making it awkward.

The Vongola boss curved his eyebrows up slightly. "Why almost?"

Gokudera took a small breath. Apparently, even if he didn't want to talk about it, the opportunity to do so was going to present itself to him right up in his face. He could either lie directly and make up something about how Yamamoto was more focused on the politics and possible nuclear fallout, or he could lie indirectly by omission and say that it wasn't anything significant, or he could just state the facts and admit to playing relationship gamble with Adelina.

"Well, how should I say this… You know how you just said that I'm hitting it off pretty well with the Tiagaro co-boss Adelina? That. That's where Yamamoto has an issue."

"An _issue_? I must be misunderstanding something you said – Yamamoto is the last person on this earth to discourage ally-ship or friendship!"

"No, you didn't misunderstand. You're right about Yamamoto being the last person to discourage friendship, but see, that's where he wants it to stop," Gokudera said, trying to see if there was a way to ease Tsuna into what he had now decided that he was going to say. After a moment, he decided that he couldn't be bothered. "I'm going to say this bluntly: I'm trying to get in a romantic relationship with Adelina."

"… Wait," Tsuna said uncertainly, still thinking that he must be hearing something wrong. "Can you repeat that?"

"Tsuna, you didn't hear me wrong," Gokudera said firmly. "Part of my plan to get the Tiagaro to stick with this deal is to hook up with Adelina. Sort of like how an arranged marriage used to work in the old days, but not up to marriage, of course."

"Wait, wait, wait. What? So let me get this straight… You're going to get a relationship with Adelina?! In the name of all that's good and beautiful, _why_?"

"Tsuna, I don't think you or Yamamoto really get the significance of this, since you weren't born in the Mafia," Gokudera explained, trying to keep his patience, "But marriage or any romantic relationship between Families is traditionally a huge factor in clinching deals. You heard just now how the political impact of this deal is very precarious, and even economically it's risky to some extent because if one major Family goes down because of the new restrictions, we all go down because we're interconnected. I'm throwing this in to keep them from swaying out. Besides, we have a higher chance of success if we work more closely together like this."

"Gokudera, whether or not a possible relationship with Adelina is going to help us, isn't there any way that we can do without? Can't you think of a way to seal the deal without getting together with–"

"Does _everyone_ think that I'm just dying for the first chance to cheat on him?" Gokudera burst out, throwing his hands up. "It's. Just. Business! I don't particularly enjoy this either, but it'll help the deal! It that really that hard to understand?"

"_Listen_ to me! It's not just business when you might be hurting people in the process, do _you_ understand _that?_"

"It's _not meant personally_," Gokudera growled, emphasizing each word and putting his voice deep into his lower registers. "He told me at the beginning of this that he would be okay with it when I explained it to him. He's just freaking out now because he saw me acting a bit nice towards her, that's it! It's nothing, he'll get over it!"

"Oh, goodness…" Tsuna dropped his head on his palm, a gesture that he only used when he already knew that it was no use talking to his obstinate Right-Hand. "So, I take it that you already had at least one fight over this?"

"Well… on the flight back home. It wasn't anything drastic and he'll have calmed down by now. Look, Tsuna, I only told you about this because I'm already set on doing it, so don't try to change my mind now. It's going to happen; it is happening. I just thought that I'd tell you so you can get him some help or support or something if his jealousy complex starts up again."

The Vongola boss had been through a lot of stressful situations over the years, some including gunfights and others including political struggles, but it always seemed that the problems that hit him closest to home always had some sort of association with Gokudera. He sighed heavily. "Why do you always create these sorts of… _situations_ for yourself?" he moaned. "What are you going to tell everyone?"

"It's not a _situation_. And it's not anyone's concern, really, except Yamamoto's and mine. At any rate, even if people find out, they know that I've used my charm on other people before, so this won't be much different." Gokudera shrugged and then got up to leave. "Well, that's it. Now you know. I'll be seeing you, Tsuna."

Just as Gokudera was about to open the door, Tsuna spoke. "Gokudera, but you'll try not to neglect him, won't you? I mean, whatever your motives, he can't help but think that you're picking business over love, do you know what I mean?"

It was Gokudera's turn to sigh. "I don't know about love, but I'm committed to him, alright? Unless something totally insane happens, I'll stick by him as long as he sticks by me. And he knows that. He just needs some time to process it."

And then he swung out the door, leaving Tsuna no choice but to sit and fervently hope for the best.

/

* * *

While the people on the Vongola base were discussing the implications of Gokudera's latest steps towards Adelina, the members of the Tiagaro had their own viewpoint on the matter. Adelina, Raphael, and the other co-boss were all seated in the attached room off the main office, drinking iced tea while sitting on the couch. The former two, like Gokudera, had chosen to report first on the more official side of the most recent meeting, but now the conversation was turning towards the rather more personally interesting matter of a relationship with the man who was called the Master Manipulator of the Mafia: The all-powerful but ever-elusive Right Hand of the Vongola, Gokudera Hayato.

"So… I garner that this mission was one of your rather more pleasurable ones?" said the co-boss and brother of Adelina.

"It is truly amazing how he manages to make even the driest topics into fascinating material. This is only the second time that I've properly met him, but he has already lived up to his reputation and more," Adelina said sincerely but still seriously.

"I would also add that the Right Hand showed at least some interest in her beyond the deal," Raphael put in, gesturing towards Adelina with a polite hand.

"Oh, is that so? Well, it is just as we hoped, then, isn't it?"

"It is certainly good news, but we must not forget that showing interest of this sort is hardly anything too unusual for Gokudera Hayato. He is well known for using his charms."

"Well, what you say is certainly a well-attested fact," said Raphael, cocking his head slightly. "But he's also well known for establishing quite strict physical boundaries – likes his space, he does, and especially dislikes physical contact. And from what I saw, he certainly didn't seem to mind you being quite close to him."

"There is that," Adelina replied, lips curving up into a small smile. "He showed me around the base on a friendly type of tour, though he didn't need to. And ah… he did do something just as I was about to leave that caught my notice."

"Something good, I hope? What was it?"

"Almost nothing, just a mild flirtation, but he personally escorted me to the cars by my hand, which is obviously something that surpasses mere common etiquette. But who knows? We must not over-interpret anything at this stage. It is too early to read much into anything just yet. Perhaps he is like this with all women."

"Raphael," the co-boss said excitedly, "Have you managed to dig up anything on Gokudera Hayato's past romantic relationships? Some background knowledge would be well appreciated."

Raphael shook his head. "Nothing. There are rumors abounding about all sorts of things from him visiting whorehouses to him being asexual, but the fact is that no one knows hardly _anything_ about his personal life. The rumors, obviously, can all be set aside as untruths for now. Besides his track record in battles and obvious prowess in politics, there are no concrete facts about him to be found."

"But _surely_ he must have dated at some point in the past? He's in his late twenties and probably one of the hottest commodities, if not _the_ hottest, on the dating market and you're telling me that _nothing_ comes up about his past relationship history? _Mio dio_, we live in the communication era where even a civilian grade C celebrity can't date without it all going on the news!"

"What can I say? He's a secretive man. If he has clandestinely dated, I warrant that it hasn't been outside of the Vongola."

The co-boss turned to his sister. "You're going to have to be doubly careful, Adelina. Obviously, whether Gokudera is seriously interested in you or not as of yet, you'll have to move him in the direction of a relationship. Even if he personally wishes to remain a bachelor for a while longer, he can't turn down the chance for an easy alliance between Families."

"Yes, that would be wise," Adelina agreed. "But as I said before, we cannot be too hasty. Gokudera, as we discussed before, may only be treating me to this mild flirtation as a way to keep us interested and hooked on this deal. Of course it would be beyond our dreams if he is sincere, but still we must not get our hopes up. And also, I would doubt as to whether he would jump at the chance to increase his power when he already has as much as he does."

"As long as the Vongola is set on being more integrated with the rest of Mafia, he basically can't turn this down," the co-boss disagreed. "Besides, whether your chances are high or not, he is good relationship material in any case, no? Give it all you can and we'll see what turns out."

"Of course. As I mentioned before, the next meeting date is set five days from today at our base and it is still informal. We can continue watching for his personal interests on that date."

"We will certainly do that," said the co-boss, his head still brimming with thoughts about his sister dating the Vongola Storm. "Hah. The Gokudera Hayato as my brother-in-law. The very thought is unbelievable!"

"But possible," Raphael said seriously. "If we play this right, maybe even probable."

Adelina nodded firmly once. "And I will play this right," she said.

* * *

**Damn, I almost made Adelina sound like a predator here! Well, she is Gokudera's counterpart, so...**

**Gokudera's being himself, pretty much, except a bit more testy than usual. Hell, I'd be too if I were him.**

**What I'm really worried about is how Yamamoto turned out in this chapter. Hope it's still believable.**

**As always, please review!**


	17. The Choice(s)

**Alright, so after a millenium and a half, I have finally uploaded.**

**For some reason, all of the characters in my stories recently have emotional problems (Or is this not a recent development?). I guess my own personality is inadvertently bleeding out on them.**

**Anyway, hopefully you find this entertaining.**

* * *

/

As he walked out of the main office, Gokudera was feeling distinctly annoyed.

It wasn't that it was unusual in the slightest that Tsuna disapproved of an idea of his or that Yamamoto disliked a part of his behavior, but these usually did not happen at the same time and never about the same thing. In the past, even with his riskier operations, one of them had always softened soon enough, either out of faith or affection or both, after he had argued for his position.

But this time he knew, even without waiting a few days, that neither of them were going to change their minds or back down. He could sense it in the ways that Yamamoto had just shut down and Tsuna had immediately protested.

Any brief overviews or notes that he had taken to the office, he had left with Tsuna, so Gokudera had no papers to irritably look through as he strode through the hallways. It was perhaps better, walking with a straight face and even straighter posture, that he wasn't rechecking his plans as he walked. It helped him to view the big picture rather than strangle himself over the niceties.

When he got to his own office, he unlocked the door handily and slipped in, feeling quite a bit calmer than before. The official work day was almost done, and since the next meeting with Adelina wasn't until five days later, he could just let the deal with the Tiagaro settle in his mind for the afternoon and do other work in the last Period.

No sooner had he sat down at his desk, however, than was there a knock at the door. Before he could feel annoyed, he looked at his computer screen, which was connected to the outside wall panel, to see who it was. It was his Chief Secretary, Damien.

Not unwillingly, Gokudera let him in.

"Hello," Damien said pleasantly when he had stepped in. "Are you busy right now?"

"No, come in. Is this a business visit or a casual visit?"

Damien closed the door behind him. "Mhm, half and half," he said. "I filed all the documents you sent me and I'd like to glance over that, but first, how was the meeting with the Tiagaro?"

"It went well. Next meeting, still quasi-casual, is set two weeks from today on the 1st of the next month at the Sicily base again. It's going to be on mostly politics because we briefed the economics today so no real need to prep." Since this visit was partly casual and the visitor was his Chief Secretary, Gokudera got up from his desk and moved towards the coffee table in the side room. "What about the documents?"

"Well, I understand that this is all just barely starting the beginning stage, but do you want me to make at least a preliminary computer program to run the situation through? Since obviously this project is so complex, if you're going to want it later, we'll probably have to start now." Damien followed Gokudera into the side room and sat down opposite him at the table.

"You mean a game-theory program?" Gokudera frowned a little. "It's what we've done in the past, but this time it's so subjective and there are so many rogue elements that I'm wondering if there's any substantial merit in doing it. At least one element is totally unquantifiable."

"Technically everything except the finances involved is unquantifiable. Politics is unquantifiable, but people still use percentages to accurately predict election results. Admittedly this project is extreme, but why not try to slap numbers on things and run it through? It's sometimes nice just to look at." The Chief Secretary smiled and shrugged, entirely at ease in the presence of his boss.

Gokudera tilted his head slightly. "If you think it will help. We're already making up success and failure percentages in our heads, so why not make it official? It sounds like you already have a rough outline drawn out anyway."

"Just a very rough one," Damien replied, his smile taking on a tinge of satisfaction. "I was waiting for the most recent results to see what I might need to tweak."

"There's nothing new worth adding," Gokudera replied, pleased that Damien had taken the initiative but too aware of the gaping chunks that currently existed in the deal in question to encourage the game-theory program. "At least half the time was spent in small talk and the other half was just review of what both of us already knew – we're still in the stage where we're testing each other."

"And how did she fare against you?" Damien grinned.

"She lived up to her reputation," Gokudera said simply. "There's a reason that the Tiagaro has been and is the second most notable Family in the Mafia, after all."

"And you lived up to yours?"

"I can't assess myself. But she and I got along well, so I would imagine so."

"Well good! I've no doubt you did well. Do you think you'll be able to hit it off at least by the time we start the international conferences?"

"Who knows? This game is now double-sided and there's trouble on both fronts. On Adelina's side, it seems that they're starting to mirror us; and on my side…" Gokudera shrugged again.

"Tsuna doesn't like it. Well, we all saw that one coming. He's always loath to touch anything related to any other Families." Damien leaned back in his seat, letting out a slow breath as he looked up to the ceiling. Then he suddenly stopped and sat up. He looked to Gokudera, eyes sharp. "Wait. You _told_ him."

"Ah, so you picked it up. Yes, I told him."

Damien laughed like a little boy who had successfully pranked someone. "Now you've done it. But why? I thought you were going to wait until it became near self-evident to tell?"

"Change in plans. I figured getting a little help wouldn't hurt."

"Mhm, I see. Yamamoto's not taking it well?"

Gokudera shook his head once. "He and Tsuna keep telling me the same thing – that I should find some other way to do it, that I can pull this off without doing this. It's like they've suddenly lost their minds. Why would I go about this differently if this is the easiest way?"

"It's the emotional factors, I suppose. I think we can all agree that you are not the most emotionally stable person in the world?"

"I'll admit that when I lose it, I lose it bad, but when I'm stable, I run a flat line. I think that we can all agree on _that_ as well."

"Sure enough. But you know," Damien started leaning back in his seat again. "I'm with you on this, of course, but I understand where they're coming from too. You can't not have realized how much you'd be upping your power as well as the Vongola's power if you really got married to Adelina?"

Gokudera nodded in reply but didn't say anything.

"And Adelina is hardly a person that you would find hard to get along with. You're… indifferent about love at best, so you can just disregard emotions. Since you share a lot of the same interests, you could talk forever and still have the type of intellectually stimulating conversation that you prefer. Her job description is virtually the same as yours and you even use similar weapons. There's a reason why she's sometimes called your female counterpart." Damien sat up. "If I was given the task of finding a partner for you, she would be one of the top contenders."

"So… What is your point? This sounds like you're trying to persuade me to ditch Yamamoto and really go for this."

Damien drummed his fingers on the table once smartly. "Exactly. My point is that you can't discredit their insecurities. They have basis to them."

"Basis or not, I'm not interested in acknowledging their insecurities. I'm interested in getting rid of them," Gokudera said, starting to get a little annoyed again. "It isn't as though I've ever not done something because they complained about it."

"Have you tried talking to them?"

"You think I haven't tried? I'm honestly so stunned that they're being so stubborn this time that I don't know if I'll even try again."

"Well," Damien laughed again. "You know what they always said in etiquette class: Never talk about religion, politics, money, or sex if you can help it. Let me see… your religion is work, politics is politics, money is the trade, and sex is…with Adelina, I guess!" He subdued himself slightly, perhaps having gotten in a better awareness of how serious the situation was due to his jesting about it. "But in all seriousness, you should at least keep trying to talk about it with Yamamoto all the same – otherwise things will only get worse."

"Yes yes," Gokudera said impatiently. He wasn't hearing anything he hadn't already thought of before and wasn't sure if he quite liked being laughed at. "I suppose by "worse" you mean that he'll keep on pestering me."

"Well… I wouldn't quite put it that way. But at any rate, better for you to lead the charge than have to go on the defense." Damien smiled again. "It's Yamamoto. How hard can it be?"

"Harder than you'd think," Gokudera replied glibly, already dreading the prospect of having to talk to the put-out Rain Guardian. "But I'll talk to him at least one more time," he promised.

* * *

/

For the first time in at least a month, Gokudera didn't stay behind in his office or seclude himself in his side of the dual-apartments after work hours. More or less immediately after the last Period was over, he made his way home, determined to have the promised talk with Yamamoto.

Neither he nor Yamamoto bothered with any stereotypical couple-greetings such as "Honey, I'm home!" or anything of the kind, so he was met with silence when he slipped in through the Storm apartment door, but he knew that Yamamoto would be somewhere in the Rain apartment. As he changed out of his business clothes and put on a loose t-shirt and sweatpants, hearing the tinny noise from the TV from the Rain apartment side, he thought of what he might say, but unfortunately couldn't think of anything particularly clever in his retained state of annoyance.

However, he had nothing but the absolute façade of humility and openness when he strode over to the Rain apartment.

Yamamoto was, as he had thought, in front of the TV and watching some movie with an inane plotline.

"Hey," Gokudera said as he sat down next to him. "How was work?"

"It was fine," came the standard answer. "This movie's boring."

"Well, why're you watching it then?"

"Nothing better to watch." Yamamoto picked up the remote and listlessly flipped through the channels. "And nothing better to do." He let the remote drop from his hand to smack down on the couch.

Gokudera watched the remote drop from his apparently still sulky partner's hand, bounce off the couch, and then deftly caught it before it could fall to the floor. "In that case," he said, checking himself to keep his voice soft, "You wouldn't mind if we eat dinner now?"

Yamamoto looked at his watch and shrugged. "Bit early, isn't it?"

The Storm Guardian got off the couch with a flash of silver hair. "Well, if there isn't anything better to do, why not?"

/ /

/

And thus, after some thirty minutes, they both found themselves seated at the dining table with dinner in front of them.

"You had a match with Squalo after we got back, didn't you?" asked Gokudera a little after they had begun eating.

"Yeah." Yamamoto looked up from his plate. "How'd you know?"

"Oh, just got a little call, that's how."

"From the Training Center?"

"No, of course not. From Squalo. He wasn't happy about you and decided to blame it on me. Sounded more crazed than usual. You're not hurt, are you?"

"I'm fine. Besides, I would have gotten myself fixed up if I had gotten hurt. Uhm. What did he say to you?"

"About all that I could pick up out of the rush of static was something about what did I do to you to get you so upset," Gokudera said levelly. "And I told him that it wasn't any of his business."

"Good. It isn't. I didn't talk either," Yamamoto replied, his dissatisfaction with Gokudera's project briefly set aside due to his instinct to keep private things private and away from the Vongola rumor mill. "This doesn't really concern anyone except us."

"Well." Gokudera made a little half-shrug. "With a few exceptions. Such as the boss."

"You're going to tell Tsuna?"

"No, I already did."

Yamamoto sighed, though he also felt a slight tinge of surprise. "Should have known. And… I suppose he freaked out?"

"As always, with these types of matters," Gokudera replied coolly, still eating as though he wasn't at all talking about something that could potentially ruin him. "He seems to think that I'm picking work over you."

"Huh. Have you ever not?"

Gokudera didn't flinch. "You knew what it was going to be like when you got together with me."

"So I did. What was I thinking," said Yamamoto sarcastically. "Still, I rather thought that you had the decency not to go this far."

"Just say that you thought I wouldn't cheat, why don't you? That's virtually what both you and Tsuna are thinking, I know."

"No it's not. And why'd you tell _him_ anyway?"

"If it's not, then why're both of you giving me hell for this?

"I don't know about Tsuna, but I'm not giving you hell for anything!"

"What's all this, then?"

"Huh. You're the one who brought up the topic."

"…Yes," Gokudera said, subduing himself. "I apologize; I meant to start this in a more diplomatic manner." He let out a short breath and took a few more bites as he thought of what to say. "I told Tsuna because I didn't want me to implode on myself again, alright?" He glanced at the other man and looked away again. "You know what I'm talking about."

Yamamoto nodded. "Go on," he assented. He ate a few more bites as well.

"And I figured that Tsuna would be on your side on this, so I went and told him."

"…So you told Tsuna so you could get teamed up on?"

"No, I told him so that we'd both get through this together in some semblance of sanity. I have my support group; you can have yours. I rather thought that Tsuna might some more faith in me, but–"

"–You thought Tsuna would have more faith in you than me? I'm the guy who's in a relationship with you, in case you've forgotten! …Do you really think that little of me?"

"I could ask the same of you."

Yamamoto sighed. He had to admit that Gokudera had a point, but was wounded all the same at his cold tone. "Look, I know what my reaction must look like to you, and…and I know you probably won't be convinced by what I'm going to say, but it's true all the same." It was hard to get the sincerity into his voice when it was already so full of frustration. "I'm not afraid that you're going to cheat on me, I just think that…you're going to not care. About me. Or really anything. That you're going to sort of loose yourself into work and not ever emerge. But every person, even you, needs a place to start from in the morning and go back to at night, figuratively speaking, you know what I'm saying?"

"That was about the longest and most roundabout way of saying 'I don't want you to neglect me' that I've ever heard," replied Gokudera, unimpressed and unconvinced. "And please. I may not be the most emotionally attuned person in the world, but my intellect isn't so low that I can't figure out that there's something about this that's personally bothering you."

"Alright, so there _is_ something about all this that gets me personally. How could it _not?_ But it's what you just inadvertently said that bothers me, and you don't even know it! You remember when you told me earlier that you don't love me; you just have this, this intellectually driven commitment towards me? (Chapter 15) Well, you know what? That _doesn't _make me feel that this relationship is stable, actually."

"I said that hours ago. It's been eating away at you all this time?" Gokudera asked incredulously and also somewhat curiously. "You didn't seem to be bothered by it then."

"Yes, because that was _before_ I met Adelina," Yamamoto said rather bitterly. "I stand with what I said before: I really _am_ worried about your emotional failings, and I really _don't _think that you're going to cheat, in the sense that cheating means that you start to care for someone else while you're technically with me. But it _does _scare me that if your affections are cognitively-based, you're going to… you're going to have no choice but to leave me for her."

Gokudera was starting to be reminded of what Damien had said, and that brought up his annoyance. He clicked his tongue in irritation and said briskly, "I have no idea what you're–"

"–Don't pretend that you don't see it." Yamamoto was almost pleading, which made Gokudera feel both awkward and confused as to exactly what he'd done to merit such a reaction. "I think I half died of this mixture of embarrassment and despair while I was with you and Adelina while we were all waiting for the cars to arrive. I've never felt more like a third wheel in my _life_. I'm telling you, it was a _miserable_ experience."

He really did sound so miserable as he said this, that Gokudera actually couldn't think of anything to say in response. So he just put another spoonful into his mouth as his excuse to not say anything and chewed exceedingly slowly. Yamamoto followed suit, but after a few minutes of eating, he began speaking again.

"You really can't have missed how, how, I _hate_ to say it, but how _perfect_ Adelina is for you. I can't think of anyone who'd match you better except Damien, and talking about Damien, he's also–"

"–Please let's not be _ridiculous_," Gokudera snapped, feeling that he'd had just about enough of this nonsense. "Dating Damien would be like dating myself, and that would be incredibly dreary."

"But why? If I'm to take you at your word that you think out your emotions, there's no reason why he wouldn't be good for you. And you can't give me a reason as to why you're with me besides that we somehow ended up together and you can't be bothered to leave at the moment!"

"That I'm still sitting here listening to your _tripe_ at all should be enough indication to you that I must be committed," Gokudera shot back with a rather nasty wit. "And since when were you so concerned about having valid reasons for things? Why do you care for me when I've done practically nothing to encourage your advances? Why am I so loyal to the Vongola when no one knows its faults better than me?"

"That all just amounts to you saying that you don't know why you're with me, though!"

"Of _course!_ What do you want me to say, that I have some fetish for Asians and that I admire swordfighters because they're good close-range fighters? Wouldn't that make you feel less assured to think that my commitment is conditional?"

"It's not exactly _un_conditional, though."

"But I don't think that _anything_ is unconditional. You believe that some things are unconditional because you're a romantic, but–"

"–I'm not a romantic, I'm just a human being."

Gokudera sighed. This talk was not in any way going as he had hoped it would, and he was getting tired of talking about a topic that he neither understood nor enjoyed talking about. "Yes, you're a human being, and while I'm also one, I perhaps…have a tendency to perceive things a little differently from the majority," he tried, slowing down his speech. "But do you know what a regular, average human being would do in your situation?"

The question wasn't entirely rhetorical, and Yamamoto shook his head uncertainly.

"They'd probably give me hell for a while, and then just give up and leave me and this messed-up relationship. I just want to make it clear to you that I don't take this relationship for granted. I don't expect you to hang around forever no matter what sort of shit I pull. If I were in a relationship with Damien and did what I'm doing now, I'd fully expect there to be no problem, but I realize that you're different. And I'll try to keep that in mind and respect that, okay?"

Yamamoto, chewing thoughtfully, nodded slowly.

"So I'll tell you what. As long as you somehow continue to think that I'm worth sticking around for, I'll do the same for you. And while you're still around, if some germ of a thought enters my mind that Adelina's better suited for me than you, I'll fight it, okay? You know I have enough self-control to do this."

Yamamoto held his fork in midair. "So is this a promise?"

Gokudera nodded. "It's my promise to you," he said seriously.

"…Okay. I guess that's alright, then." Yamamoto wasn't quite sure if he felt comfortable with the idea of even their relationship being put in the boundaries of a bargain, but the terms made him feel at least a little relieved that no one would be ditching the relationship for a while.

They silently, and rather awkwardly, resumed eating their dinner.

After a few bites, Gokudera sighed. "Great, now my dinner's cold."

"So's mine. Here, I'll microwave them," Yamamoto said, holding out a hand for Gokudera's plate, which was handed over to him easily.

While Gokudera remained at the table, slightly wondering whether Yamamoto had simply used this as an excuse to get away from him for a moment or was actually sincere about it, Yamamoto put the plates into the microwave side-by-side and watched them orbit around each other as they warmed-up together in the bombardment of radiation.

* * *

/

The next week passed pleasantly enough. Both carefully steering clear of any topics about either politics or work, the two Guardians chatted about relatively unimportant things when they had time to talk at all and kept the tentative peace.

But though Gokudera obviously had been working on the Tiagaro deal all throughout this time, Yamamoto was having a pretty satisfactory time of ignoring that it was happening, kept busy with his own work within the Vongola.

That is, until Period C at the end of the working week when he got a message from Tsuna asking him for a brief talk.

The message read that it wasn't urgent, that it was an unofficial talk, and that Yamamoto could come whenever he liked as long as it was sometime during the current workday, but Yamamoto went immediately, remembering what Gokudera had told him the week before about going to talk with Tsuna and instinctively feeling that Tsuna's request for a talk would be related to this.

"This is about Gokudera and his deal with the Tiagaro, isn't it?" were the first words that came out of his mouth when he had been admitted into Tsuna's Office.

Tsuna sighed. "Yes. Please sit down."

Yamamoto did so on a comfy seat on the direct opposite side of Tsuna's desk and added, "If this is about him and Adelina, I know all about that too."

"Yes, I know. He mentioned that he spoke about it to you. And, uh, are you okay now?"

"Yeah, he and I are all cool now. He didn't tell you?"

"Gokudera doesn't share any aspects about his relationship with you unless he feels that it's necessary to do so. As he should," said Tsuna softly but also firmly. "But I didn't call you in here to talk about what happened before. I called you to talk about the upcoming meeting. You know that the next one is a week from today, right?"

"Yes. What of it?"

"Well, are you planning to go on it or not? Gokudera hasn't come to talk to me about it yet, and I'm starting to wonder if he's going to at all. After all, he doesn't strictly need to when he can just fly this by himself at this stage."

"He hasn't come to talk to me about it either. I guess I sort of …assumed that I would be going with him because I've almost always done on these sort of missions," said Yamamoto, worrying the cuffs of his sleeves. "But considering this matter, and especially the last circumstance, I suppose I understand why this would be in question."

"So… Are you coming or not? If going with him is going to cause you any unnecessary stress or _dis_tress, I think it'd be better for you to not go. From what I understand, Gokudera didn't need you to contribute much to the discussion except offer the presence of a second person, and someone like Damien could fill in that position just as well."

Yamamoto stiffened a little at the mention of Damien taking his place, but spoke as though nothing was bothering him. "I suppose that's true," he conceded. "And I have to admit that seeing Gokudera with Adelina …caught me a bit off guard, but give me a couple of moments to think about it all the same."

But after a minute or two, he still hadn't come to a decision.

Tsuna cleared his throat. "Maybe it'd be better for you not to go. God knows it would unnerve me to watch him with Adelina, and I'm not even the guy in a relationship with him!" he said, laughing weakly.

Yamamoto didn't seem to have heard Tsuna's words. "I'll ask _him_," he said suddenly. "I'll ask him what he thinks would be better."

"What, Gokudera?" Tsuna asked, a bit startled. "Are you sure that's a good idea? He may decide to go with whatever would help the deal more and that might not be the best option for you."

"He may not be very empathetic, but he's not a rock," Yamamoto told him, defending his partner out of instinct despite their recent difficulties as he got out his phone. He started to call the Storm Guardian, but then at the last instant changed his mind and texted him instead.

_About the next Tiagaro meeting_, he typed. _Am I going with you or not?_

In less than half a minute, punctual as usual, Gokudera sent his reply text. It was two words.

_Your choice._

Yamamoto looked hard at the reply text and said to Tsuna, "He says that it's up to me."

"Well, excellent," responded Tsuna, smiling in relief. "So now you can stop worrying about either the deal or about him and just focus on what suits you best!"

"Mhm, I guess," murmured Yamamoto, though he felt the exact opposite about the curt and open-ended reply he had received. He wanted to text Gokudera again and ask him if he was still going to take someone with him if he didn't go, but felt that doing so would be being petty, jealous, and controlling all at once, so didn't. He looked at the two word text until the screen went black.

"I'll…" he started uncertainly, wondering how he was going to finish his statement. "…need some more time to think about it," he concluded rather lamely.

Tsuna shook his head, surprising Yamamoto.

"Don't you remember when we were in school and the teachers told us to go for what felt right and not agonize over the answers?" Tsuna asked. "So do it now. Just go for what feels right. This is juvenile, but I'm going to count to ten, and at the end of those ten seconds, I want you to either say 'Yes' for 'Yes, I'm going,' or 'No' for 'No, I'm not going,' okay?"

And with that, the Vongola Boss promptly started counting to ten, leaving no choice but for the Rain Guardian to furiously think in what extremely limited time slot he had.

"...Nine…Ten. Alright, time's up!" said Tsuna. "What's your answer?"

Yamamoto took in the slowest breath he had ever taken, making the wind whistle through his pipes. "…Yes," he then said, dropping his tensed shoulders. "My answer's 'Yes.'"

* * *

/

**I just want to say, I think Yamamoto's an idiot at the same time that I can't blame him for his decision.**

**Gokudera's conflict on his stance on relationships and how to approach them are pretty much my conflicts, as usual. In a nutshell, it's this: I believe in commitment so, so strongly, but why in hell shouldn't I take something better if it comes my way and catches my attention?**

**Anyway.**

**Please _Review_.**


	18. Tacit Rivalry

**The 18th chapter up.**

**There are lots of cut sections in this one - hope it doesn't read too chaotic.**

**Hope you like.**

/

* * *

Yamamoto glanced at his watch again. Ten minutes, give or take, before she arrived.

He and Gokudera were on the second floor, at a window on the façade facing the driveway. It was a different room from the last time, a smaller room with a modernist edge to its interior design, but equally as covered with clean wide windows. While he stood at the window, looking out every once in a while, Gokudera sat on a chair a few meters away, sipping mild green tea to relax his throat so he would be in the most optimal condition possible to meet Adelina. Yamamoto looked at him, sitting so casual with his ankles crossed, tracing the geometric wallpaper pattern in the hallway with half-lidded eyes, and didn't know what to think. So he went back to staring out the window.

A moment later, there was a beep. Gokudera's hand immediately went to his back pocket for his phone. "Eight minutes," he said.

Yamamoto glanced at his watch and out at the driveway. In a few minutes, the Tiagaro cars would come into view onto the extensive driveway.

"Yeah. Okay."

Gokudera downed the rest of his tea. "So, just making sure, you want to stay with us this time?"

"Yes," Yamamoto told him. He hadn't missed that Gokudera had automatically paired himself up with Adelina, rather than him, but he had to stop stressing over semantics. "Unless, of course, some demonstrated reason for me to leave presents itself. You know, what's best for the mission and all that," he said, not without a little bravery.

"Well." Gokudera put his mug down on a nearby small table with a muted clunk. His tone was subdued but not apologetic. "This will most likely be the last unofficial meeting, so that reason may present itself. You remember the signal we agreed on?"

_When he puts his left hand on top of his right, leave sometime in the next five minutes._

"Yeah. I remember."

Gokudera got up from his seat and went to the window to stand next to him. It was afternoon and the outside atmosphere was starting to become dusky, but the Tiagaro cars could still be seen clearly as they made the turn onto the visible long stretch of road. Gokudera absentmindedly caressed the smooth stone of the windowsill while watching the sleek procession and then suddenly turned to Yamamoto.

"You sure you're ready for this?" A pause. "I'm going to do what I came here for, as you well know. If you're going to be bothered, then…" He not quite pointedly glanced at the door.

"I know. I'll be okay." Yamamoto was too tired at this point to be offended. "Last time I was a bit, uh…caught off guard. This time, I won't be."

A single curt nod in response. Gokudera touched Yamamoto's arm on his way out to greet Adelina. "Wait here."

Yamamoto watched the door shut behind him, and then went straight back to looking out the window. A minute later, he could see the Storm standing on the front platform, just beyond the overhead canopy, slightly leaning against a column, one hand raised to shade his eyes from the setting Italian sun. Another minute, and the silver limousine had pulled up into the driveway and the butterfly doors were sliding up once more.

|/

/

Gokudera stepped down the platform steps and walked towards the opening car-door with his face lit with a genuine smile.

"Adelina," he said, with warmth in his voice. "Thank you for taking the trouble to come down here again."

"No, thank you for inviting me back here," the Tiagaro diplomat replied, equally as warmly, touching Gokudera's hand as she stepped out of the limousine. She was wearing an olive green dress with a light cover and a gold and black belt as an accessory, very minimal makeup, and looked as though she hadn't gotten the memo that looking naturally beautiful was out in the modern world. She swept her eyes around the scenery before making eye-contact. "It's even more beautiful here now than it was before."

"Well, perhaps it's just the change in lighting," Gokudera offered, shrugging a little and tilting his head in a charmingly boyish manner. Then he glanced at the cars, which were now moving away. "Hmm. Raphael didn't come?"

"No, he said that he thought I could hold the fort on my own," she said, smiling.

"Unfortunately, my babysitter didn't quite feel the same way," Gokudera told her, grinning also to show that he was joking as he led her inside the building towards the elevator. "Yamamoto's upstairs on the top floor. Come on, we'll take the lift."

"You and Yamamoto are diplomatic partners, aren't you?" Adelina asked as they stepped into the elevator. "And, if I'm not mistaken, back to back on the battlefield as well."

"Actually, I'm usually not back to back to anyone when I'm fighting," Gokudera corrected her. "But he and I work together a lot, yes. I'm not sure how it really happened, but somehow or other we got assigned a lot of missions together and now he thinks that I can't do anything without him and accompanies me to everything," he joked again.

"Ah, don't even pretend to be modest," Adelina told him, laughing. "Besides, most diplomatic efforts are done in pairs now. Once the official meetings start, you'll find it fairly hard to see me anywhere without Raphael."

"Raphael's a lucky man. But Yamamoto has to put up with me," Gokudera said, flashing a grin as the lift came to a stop. "Here we are."

They got off the elevator and walked to the end of the hallway to the new room, where Yamamoto was waiting.

"Hello, it's good to see you again," Yamamoto told Adelina, honestly enough despite it all, when she had come in. But he felt a little drab all the same, looking at her immaculate outfit as he walked up to her to shake hands.

"It's wonderful seeing you again too," she replied, smiling playfully. "How's watching after Gokudera going?"

"Oh, it's going well…wait, excuse me?" Yamamoto asked, now confused.

"No, it's just something I was telling her," Gokudera said, flashing a smile at Adelina. "It's nothing; Let's sit down."

They sat down on a coffee table by the window, Yamamoto and Gokudera on one side with Yamamoto closest to the window and Adelina on the other side, directly opposite Gokudera.

Adelina looked around the contemporary designed room with interest and a hint of amusement. "What a change from the hallway décor," she said. "I skipped several centuries of architecture just walking over the threshold."

"Yes, we just had to change all that stuffy history. So, by destroying some thousands and thousands of dollars worth of art, we made this!" Gokudera said flippantly. "I rather thought that you'd feel more at home here."

"It is more what I'm used to, yes, but this is both familiar and… different. And the outside walls seem to be mostly made out of glass, here, which seems vulnerable. Don't the Vongola get worried that they could suffer an attack to turn all this to beautifully fragmented rubble? Speaking from a purely hypothetical standpoint, just one or two of the Tiagaro's missiles could bring all of this down to the ground."

Gokudera laughed. "No, we don't worry. There's no way that even a super long-range sniper could get at us from outside the boundaries, and as for missiles, we trust that no one's crazy enough to pick a serious fight with the Vongola. Just look at you. We could kill you right now, but we're not. Why? Well, partly because you're an extremely charming woman, but mostly because we're not crazy enough to try to take on the Tiagaro either."

"Ah, don't be so quick to think that you could kill me," Adelina shot back, playing his game. "I told you before that Raphael didn't come today because he trusted that I could take care of myself. And do you forget that women in the Mafia include such notables such as your sister Bianchi and Lal?"

"Touché. My back still hurts sometimes when I remember my training under Lal, and don't even talk to me about Bianchi. But it is still two against one here. Although, if it were every person for themselves," he said, glancing at Yamamoto, "we might both struggle against him as two mid-to-long range fighters against a short-range one in this small room."

"Well," Yamamoto interjected, not entirely pleased with this topic of conversation, "Considering that no one's going to try to kill anyone else in this room, I don't think it really matters who would win in a situation that's never going to happen."

"So speaks the only sane person out of us three," Adelina said, grinning at him. "It's good to hear a voice from a person who's actually experienced normal civilian life. I know that pure Mafiasos can get carried away sometimes."

"Well, it's a different perspective," said Gokudera. "Less mind games, but more idealism and dreaming, which are equally as dangerous."

"Hmm. I think I see your point there. I've noticed that Mafia converts have a curious innocence about them… Not to suggest that converts are clueless, of course," she added to Yamamoto, "But their focus of attention is almost always a few degrees off. It's a different perspective, like you said," she concluded, turning back to Gokudera and grinning again. "Do you figure that that's why you are always paired with Yamamoto?"

"You know, I've wondered long and hard why I was always stuck with him, but I think you got it right on," Gokudera told her, grinning back. "He's here to reign me in, that's what it is."

"No, even with my 'idealism and dreaming,' I've learned long ago that it's impossible to reign in the Storm," Yamamoto said drily, smiling only a little. "I think my job here is to just try to smooth out whatever damage happens."

"Whatever damage 'happens,' not whatever damage _we inflict_," Adelina teased, quite amused. "He's already learned to play with his words. You've taught him well."

"Yes, because everyone knows that I never say what I mean," Gokudera responded with an attractive kind of flippancy. "Who knows? Maybe even this is some elaborate scam for me to try to take over the Tiagaro under the ruse of saving the world."

"No, call me an innocent, but this idea, to minimize nuclear weapons use, is one of your better ones," Yamamoto said firmly, tired with the constant snappy wordplay that the two reincarnations of the Mafia were exchanging. They reminded him of adolescent lions, just coming into their full, terrible strength but still playfully snapping away at each other on the verge of actually fighting, not being sincere and perhaps, not knowing how to be. "How else would you have managed to rope me into this?"

"I call that a stamp of approval, don't you?" Adelina said, smiling so unexpectedly delightfully that Yamamoto's mind went blank with something like shock. "The Mafia being a medium for good, who would have thought?"

"Who would have thought, indeed?" Gokudera agreed, with a touch of disbelief in his voice. "And here I thought that everything was ruled by money and power."

"Well, if all this works as planned, we'll get ample returns in both," Adelina said, without losing the brilliance of her smile. Yamamoto looked at her, trying to figure out who or what this woman was, who seemed to be trying to do right but who operated the same way that Gokudera did, but only succeeded in thinking that she had the sort of face that plastic surgeons showed their prospective clients to encourage them to go under the knife.

"Ah yes, I knew that I was in this for some reason," Gokudera said, glancing out the window to the now rapidly darkening sky. Ten minutes of small talk with Adelina and he still had no discernable idea of what was going on in Adelina's head, which both excited and slightly frightened him. He smiled at her, as brightly as he had done when he had first seen her. "Though this is also good as an excuse to get out and about and meet new people."

"Tell me about it," Adelina said, beaming back at him. "And with the Vongola's finest, no less."

"Oh, I'm not all that compared to you," Gokudera brushed off modestly. "But we're all still young, despite some of the things we've done. It's not visible, but most of the rooms on this floor are decked with stereo like you wouldn't believe and we don't play much classical music here. There's a room two doors to the left that's full of Hollywood chick flicks. I mean, just look at the chess set right over there. It's not there just for show, like chess sets usually are now – we actually do use it, as silly as that sounds."

"It's not silly at all. There are quite a few rooms in the Tiagaro that are dedicated to the latest video and computer games, so we're on equal footing," Adelina said, looking at the chess set with fascination. "Is that original Bauhaus?"

"I never said that our toys were cheap," Gokudera said, slowly grinning. "Want to play against me?"

"You're on."

And with that, both of them got up and moved to the other side of the room where the chess set was, leaving Yamamoto to hurry after them, wondering what sort of mischief they were getting up to now. When he uneasily sat down next to Gokudera again, he already thought that this was a horrible idea.

"This will probably take both of us a while. Provided that we both play seriously, of course," Adelina said, making the first move as the white side.

"Of course," Gokudera replied, also making his move. "I was going to ask you to dinner anyway. You will stay for dinner, won't you?"

"Thank you for the offer. Yes, I'd very much like to stay for dinner. Anything to stay on this beautiful base a little longer." Adelina spoke as casually and charmingly as ever, but she took a little more time with her next move, thinking carefully.

"Wonderful." Gokudera said, already wondering if he should win or lose. If he won, it would 'prove' in some ways that he was competent, but perhaps it would be better to flatter Adelina by losing? But then, it was entirely possible that Adelina would know that he lost on purpose, which would be embarrassing. He concentrated on the chessboard and made his move. "Is there anything in particular that you'd like?"

"No, anything is perfectly fine." She stared at the board for a few moments and then made her move. "Surprise me."

Yamamoto just sat and watched the two of them go at it, wondering what the hell he was supposed to do. Gokudera hadn't given him the sign to leave, yet, but the two of them had such strong personalities that he didn't have to go to be pretty much ignored under their combined force. If he was as intense as they were about chess, perhaps this would be more interesting, but not only was he quite unfamiliar with chess, he thought it quite stupid that they were practically staking their senses of worth on a board game that should be fun, not fun and ruthless.

"Is a tie possible in chess?" he asked, rather hoping that it would happen if it were possible.

"Yes. It happens about a third of the time in professional tournaments," Gokudera told him, looking at the board and thinking that it was entirely possible that he could lose even if he gave his best shot at winning. He moved his piece. "Not that this is professional. Why? Do you think we'll tie?"

"Well… yeah, sure." Yamamoto laughed a little awkwardly. "Are you guys about on par in skill, do you think?"

"We'll find out, I suppose," Adelina said, pausing in the middle of deciding her move and looking up at him with a bit of a curious look, "But there's always the element of luck. I'm sorry; you must be terribly bored just watching us. Do you want to play against me when this is over?"

"Oh, no, I'll pass. I actually don't know how to play."

"You must be joking! Nobody ever taught you? Here, I'll tell you how you can move the pieces and the rules of the game."

"No, I know how it works, I just… I meant that I don't know how to play _well_."

"Oh. Well, no worries. I don't know how to play well either," Adelina told him, making a half-shrug and moving her piece.

"Your tricks to put me off my guard won't work on me, Miss," Gokudera told her, smirking. "Don't think for a minute I don't know what you're doing."

Adelina laughed and winked at him in response, then smiling and shaking her head slightly. Gokudera, pleased, took the chance to study the board, ponder his choices, and make his move. His left hand was pretty close to his right, but not quite there, as though he was debating on whether or not he should make Yamamoto leave just yet. Yamamoto just sat and watched them and decided on his own that he'd better leave, and soon, before it got any worse.

"…Hey," he said, pushing his chair back a little. "I was actually going to take a look around the grounds before, and it's getting sort of dark right now, so since I'm not doing anything much, you mind if go take a walk?"

"You sure that you don't want to wait a bit longer so we can go with you? This'll be over in but a minute or so," Gokudera said, speaking with no urgency in his tone but with a certain curious look as he turned to him.

"Nah, I want to let you guys concentrate. Besides, I'll be back in a little bit too," Yamamoto responded, smiling at him and then at Adelina, out of politeness, as he got up and moved towards the door. "I'll pick some flowers or something for you, okay?"

"Alright, come back soon!" Adelina said, rotating in her seat to look at him and smiling.

"Yeah, I'll do that," Yamamoto said, opening the door, already knowing that he was going to stall as much as possible.

And as he walked out of the building to go on the path to the ocean, the same walk that he'd gone on with Gokudera the last time he'd come to this base, a path where there was a distinct lack of flowers, he wondered what sort of beautifully mannered magic Adelina would work on the man that they were now both apparently chasing after.

|/

/

But though he was loathe to return and see the damage, he had to return at some point, so he reluctantly did and sat through some more chitchat that he minimally participated in, and sat through dinner in which he participated even less in the more serious The Deal-related talk, and then found himself walking behind them as Gokudera walked Adelina out.

"I was afraid that you might have used up all your conversational brilliance the last time I met you, but I was pleasantly surprised," Gokudera told her, grinning gently as he stood next to her while waiting for the Tiagaro cars to pull up. "I hope I didn't embarrass myself or bore you either?"

"You couldn't bore me if you tried," Adelina told him, accepting the compliment with a small nod. "I'll be sorry that from now on, we'll only be seeing each other in huge groups of other Family representatives, probably at my base."

"Well, perhaps we can make a little time. There are always coffee breaks." The limousine pulled up in front of Adelina. "Until then, I'll enjoy watching you present in the Tiagaro conference room."

"I'll do my best to impress," Adelina promised, putting her hand on his arm and smiling radiantly up at him as the butterfly doors went up. "Hope to see you soon," she said to Yamamoto, shaking hands with him, and then turned to Gokudera again. "See you in a week and a half."

"You too." They exchanged social air-kisses, grinning like a couple of civilian college kids, and then Adelina smoothly got in the limousine and the Tiagaro cars streaked away.

/

* * *

When Gokudera and Yamamoto got back, it was almost one.

"I'm going to go take a shower," Gokudera mumbled, and disappeared into the Storm section of their apartment without another word.

"Alright," Yamamoto mumbled back to nobody in particular as he headed over to his Rain bathroom to shower as well.

When he got out of the shower and came out of the bathroom, the apartment was totally quiet and mostly very dark. Even with just minimal light while toweling his hair, however, it was obvious that the Rain bedroom, which was connected to the bathroom he had been using, was empty save for himself. A little bit of a quiet listen confirmed that all the rest of the Rain apartment was vacant as well, which was entirely unsurprising. So that meant that either Gokudera was somewhere in the Storm apartment, probably working late again, or that he had crashed and gone to bed without him. Yamamoto wasn't sure which was worse.

He dried the rest of himself off slowly, got on boxers and some cut-off sweat pants, and, just to be safe, tiptoed over into the Storm apartment, feeling like an intruder.

Though the door was almost all the way closed, there was a faint sliver of light coming from a crack in the Storm bedroom doorway. Yamamoto moved towards it, cautiously. He almost knocked before he realized how ridiculous and depressing that would be, and gently pushed the door open.

Gokudera was in his bed and under the covers, clean and changed into his sleeping clothes and not sleeping. He wasn't working either. He was just lying in the dim glow of his bedside lamp, blinkingly slowly at the ceiling with his hands behind his head. When Yamamoto walked in, he glanced over at him and then promptly switched off the light.

After a blinking a couple of times in surprise, Yamamoto cautiously approached the bed and got in from the opposite side.

"…Uhm…" he mumbled as he got in the bed, for some reason being careful not to touch Gokudera. "…We're free tomorrow, right?"

Gokudera shifted a little. "Tomorrow's the weekend. Of course we're free."

"So, uh… are we just chilling tomorrow or what?"

"Look, why do always feel the need to–" Gokudera cut himself off, perhaps thinking that he was being snappier than usual because he was sleepy. He let out a short sigh. "Talk to me in the morning," he said firmly, somewhat obligatorily gave Yamamoto a good night peck on the cheek, and turned over.

"…Okay. Good night." Yamamoto kissed him and rolled away; resigned himself to sleep.

|/

/

The next morning, he woke up alone.

When he walked out of the bedroom, he met Gokudera in the living room. Gokudera was still in his pajamas, meaning that it hadn't been long since he'd woken, was drinking coffee, and was texting. It was late morning.

"Morning," Yamamoto said. "Who's that?"

"Damien," came the reply. Gokudera looked up, still grinning at whatever it was that Damien had texted him. "And hi. Damien wants to come over."

"What, now? But–"

"No, not now. For lunch."

"He can't just invite himself over!"

"Of course he didn't invite himself over," Gokudera said, getting up with his half-finished mug of coffee. "He suggested meeting for lunch somewhere else, but _I_ told him that he could just come over. You don't mind, do you?" he asked carelessly.

"Oh. No, no I don't mind. Uh, what's he want to meet you for? If it's work-related, then…"

"Us. Not just me; he wanted to meet us. And, I mean, it's a safe assumption that he asks us on yesterday's trip, but it won't be work-related."

"Yesterday's trip is the epitome of work-related," Yamamoto grumbled under his breath, but offered no further comment. He wasn't close with the Storm Chief Secretary, but they were on good terms nonetheless and he felt that it would be juvenile to resent him out of a bit of personal jealousy. He looked at the time. "So, we're going to meet him in about an hour?"

"Yup." Gokudera drank some more of his coffee. "You want some of this?"

"Yeah, sure," Yamamoto told him, not paying attention. His head was slightly spinning from the news that Damien was going to come over in about forty-five minutes. "You know, he could really have given us some notice. Like, he–"

"–Takeshi," Gokudera said, interrupting him and looking at him a bit weird. "It's _Damien._ And we got up late. Why don't you want to see him? I would understand if _I_ didn't want to see him—I only see him almost everyday at work—but what gives with you?"

"It's not that I don't want to see him, it's just that this comes as a bit of a surprise to me when I woke up five seconds ago," Yamamoto told him, easing him down. "I'm cool with Damien."

Gokudera shrugged and went over to the kitchen to make some more coffee. "Okay. Anyway, so this answers your question from the last night. This counts as chilling, right?"

"…Sure." Yamamoto really didn't think that hanging out with Gokudera's closest work associate counted as chilling, but didn't want to argue. He laughed a little awkwardly. "Won't this be a bit awkward, though?"

"Why, because he knows about Adelina? Trust me, that bastard thinks this whole thing is some sort of elaborate prank, but he's on your side," Gokudera said in his way of being reassuring. "And he's deadly serious about everything. He probably wants to meet us today because he wants to check up on us. And, probably," he said, adding in an afterthought, "to laugh at me."

"Laugh at you?"

"Yeah. He was cracking up on me last time we talked about what I'm doing with Adelina. He made me promise to talk to you."

"Well…Not that I don't appreciate that, but…I don't know, but why is all this his business, anyway? Outside of work, I mean. Do you tell him about the meetings with Adelina at work?"

"When I feel up to it," Gokudera said coolly, sliding the cup of coffee he'd just made over to Yamamoto. "But I less tell him than he asks."

"What's he so interested in this for?"

"I don't know; Why don't you ask him when he comes over?"

"I don't want to talk to him about this! I'm already annoyed that Tsuna's breathing down my neck!"

"Well, maybe he won't talk about it," Gokudera said, now subtly crossing the line from saying reassuring bullshit to lying. "Look, if you really don't want to meet him, I can make up some sort of excuse and you can clear out while he's here."

"No, I'll stay," Yamamoto said quickly, almost feeling like he was responding to a threat. He didn't care anymore if this was him being jealous – he'd rather be safe than sorry. But he couldn't shake the feeling that he would be repeating last night's unspoken rivalry for Gokudera, just with a different, perhaps more dangerous, contender. It was confusing how Gokudera, usually so astute with the way that people operated, wasn't picking up on this.

Gokudera smirked and then laughed, just as Damien had done the last time they had met.

"Yeah, that's what I thought," he said.

/

* * *

**To answer your question, the result of the chess game between Gokudera and Adelina is deliberately left out. Who do you think won (and how)? Does anyone really know? Can anybody know?**

**There was something of a touch of cruelty in this chapter. Like when someone says something, and they're playing around, but they like to see the other person squirm too.**

**It doesn't necessarily require sadistic intent to do this, I don't think. Maybe just a bit of over-curiousness.**

**I'm thinking of writing more on this theme for the next chapter; also, maybe some sexual frustration. **

**Tell me what you think.**

**And please, _review._**


	19. Breakdown

**Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. I know I haven't updated. **

**I was trying to get in to college/university and deal with personal problems all at the same time.**

**But at long last, I strangled away a bit of time and energy and forced out something.**

/

* * *

At around 12:30, the doorbell in the Storm apartment rang.

Yamamoto, who had been sitting in the Rain apartment and trying to distract himself with something or other on his computer, couldn't resist a small sigh when he heard the faint chime of the doorbell from where he was. He closed the lid of his laptop with a snap and walked to where Damien had just entered, hoping irrationally that the Storm Secretary wouldn't bring up anything about Adelina.

Damien and he both entered the Storm living room at about the same time.

"Hello," Yamamoto said, smiling naturally enough as he walked in.

"Hey," Damien responded, grinning and sitting down on one of the couches. "Sorry about calling on you like this," he said, just out of polite habit. "You tired from yesterday's trip?"

"Ah, you know it takes a lot more than that to take us out," Gokudera told him, smirking and sitting on a nearby armchair. "My trip went very nicely, thanks. You missed out on sunny Sicily."

"My beautiful home island," Damien said, putting a hand to his heart in a mockery of being homesick. "I got out of there as fast as I conceivably could but I'll still strangle anyone who dares to speak ill of it. Pretty little place, though. I think it compensates for its inherent evil by being visually irresistible."

"Adelina likes it very much," Gokudera commented. "Almost more than she likes me, I should think."

"Well, how much does she like Sicily?" Damien drawled, smiling lazily but eyes sharply cut with a glint.

Gokudera halfway smirked but shrugged. "I'd guess a lot."

Damien grinned back. "Excellent. Everything's going according as planned, then?" he said, and then glanced at Yamamoto.

"Pretty much, yes." Gokudera flickered his eyes towards Yamamoto as well, none too discreetly. He didn't want to deal with another argument and wanted to make this evident. "But at any rate," he said, obviously changing the subject, "Talking about things going as planned, you want to eat lunch now?"

"Yes, actually, if that's okay with you," Damien responded, immediately picking up the cue that had been obviously thrown his way. Less than fifteen minutes into their apartment and he had already learned that he would have to be more careful than he had thought he would have to be.

But being more careful or not, he had called this lunch almost purely to see how Yamamoto was reacting to the situation with Adelina and how it was affecting the relationship. He also knew that Gokudera knew his intentions and that the Storm, by inviting him into his house, had given him tacit approval or at least acceptance. So, after a suitable interval of chatting about random things, Damien brought up Adelina and The Deal again when they were finishing lunch.

"Say, that reminds me, is the next meeting that you have with Adelina informal or formal?"

"Formal. It'll be for business with other Families, so we won't be alone." Gokudera gestured vaguely towards Yamamoto. "Not that we were really alone before, but you get my meaning."

"Yeah. Hmm, well, that explains something. So, if you're not going to meet her in any private setting after the last time, how's this going to work, then?"

"Coffee breaks, apparently. I'm going to live the graduate student experience I never had. Snatching make-out sessions between seminars," Gokudera quipped, sitting back in his chair and almost pointedly taking a sip of his coffee. He easily ignored that Yamamoto had almost imperceptibly lifted his eyebrows.

Damian allowed himself a quick laugh, having learned something else new about the Guardians' relationship. "Hey, it could be fun. I think it's sort of a pity that none of us ever lived that. But, in all seriousness… is that it?"

"Well, don't rush me. What's that one quote… You can't force love, or something like that?" The two Storm Flame-wielders glanced discreetly at the one Rain Flame user. "Probably we'll meet for afters too." Gokudera tapped his fingernail on his plate thoughtfully and then got up to take everyone's plates. Clink, clink, clink, went the plates as they knocked against each other. Then, with a "I'll go make some coffee, shall I?" he swung out of the dining room swinging door to head for the kitchen.

When he'd left, the remaining Storm user drummed the tips of his fingers on the cleared tabletop and smiled kindly at the Rain after a moment. "You've been awfully quiet," he commented, lowering his tone but speaking quickly. Gokudera would be back in a minute or so, he knew.

Yamamoto smiled awkwardly. He wasn't sure how to respond when he knew that the other man knew that he knew that they had been talking about Adelina to test him out. His head was buzzing unpleasantly. "Forgive me if talking about the whole, err_, thing_ with Adelina isn't my favorite topic in the world. Uhm, I suppose you knew that Hayato and I don't exactly see eye to eye on that?"

"That's understandable. He doesn't talk about it with or in front of you, does he?"

"No, not since we…" Admitting that he'd fought with Gokudera in front of Damien somehow felt like he was losing. "Not until you came."

Damien nodded. He'd lost his smile. "Okay," he said. He sounded obviously sincere, though he was speaking both faster and quieter. "Do you wish he would?"

"No, because it's not working. Did Gokudera put you up to this?"

"If he had, why would I have waited until he left to speak with you?"

"To set me up. And, he could still overhe–"

"–He's half-deaf. Surely you know this."

"Why not just ask me separately to–"

"You're not stupid. Because he would suspect, of course. And I do intend to ask you."

"What?!" Yamamoto shout-whispered. "What are you–"

"Ten o'clock. Office building rooftop. Can you make it?"

"Well, I don't _know_, but–"

"How do you think the media is going to react when they hear that they're dating? They'll flip their shit for sure," Damien suddenly said, returning to his normal tone and volume. Yamamoto had just enough time to rearrange his face into a less shell-shocked one when Gokudera walked back through the swinging door into the dining room.

"Oh, well, I don't pay attention to the so-called celebrity media anymore. The media makes everything into a reality-show drama," the Rain Guardian just managed to stutter out as the Storm pushed mugs of coffee across the table.

"Isn't that the truth," said Storm commented as he sat back down. His tone seemed regular enough to Yamamoto at least, but then again he had fooled wiser and cleverer people than Yamamoto. It was impossible to know if he knew that he'd been talked about behind his back. "I give them maybe a month until they make up some story about some impending fall-out."

"Less time than that. The media has less faith in relationships than does anyone or anything else." Despite his nervousness and complete insecurity in everything, Yamamoto had enough confidence in this to speak up. "Seems like misery will always be the most popular thing to talk about."

/

* * *

Hours after the Storm Secretary had left, Yamamoto was still left wondering if he should go meet him at ten on the office rooftop. On the one hand, he could make it without arousing suspicion. Because he always had had a habit of going on short walks after dinner, walks which he usually went on by himself, he could easily make 30 minutes of unaccounted time. But on the other hand… was it right? Despite the almost complete disregard that Gokudera was showing him on the Deal with Adelina, he at least had come clean about it. If Gokudera ever found out that he and Damien had met secretly like this…He didn't even want to think about it.

Yamamoto didn't make his final decision until after dinner when the first thing that Gokudera did after putting away his plates was to disappear into his side of the apartment. Then, he knew he would go.

At around 9:50, he shuffled over to the Storm division of their apartment just to drop a note.

"I'm going to…you know, go on my walk and maybe get a coke or something," he said, waving his hand dazedly. "You want anything?"

"Thanks but no thanks," Gokudera responded, glancing up only for a split second before going back to his computer. "How're you going to sleep later if you're going to drink coke?"

"Well…I'm sort of in the mood for coke, but maybe, I'll get something else," Yamamoto mumbled as he walked away and out the door.

Stepping out of the apartment, he listened closely to the sound of the door shutting behind him and locking automatically before he could pick up his heels to head for the roof. He didn't quite know why he was both walking at a brisk pace and taking the stairs instead of just using the elevator, but he stopped questioning everything when he got to the roof and saw Damien waiting for him.

\

|\

|/

/

"Hey," Damien said, in exactly the same way as he had done earlier in the day. "So you came. Right on time, too. Good for you."

"Did he put you up to this?" Yamamoto couldn't help blurting out. He suddenly felt quite childlike under the other man's cool gaze. "Is this this some sort of…some sort of test?"

"Relax. It's not a test. He didn't put me up to this, though I did request to speak with you for both his and your benefit. I promise I am not lying, and that I am being completely serious. Before I start, how much time do you have?"

"Thirty minutes, about."

"That's more than enough time if you don't interrupt me. I have just a few things to tell you, but it's quite important so it's imperative that you take this seriously."

"You must be kidding me; Do you expect me to just believe you? Wh–Why are you so…not afraid? Assuming that you're going to say something about lunch today and Gokudera…you have as much to lose as me if he ever finds out about this!"

"Well…not really, but either way I don't think he'll be too pissed if he finds out about this. And you don't have to believe me, of course, but even if this was a test and I was to report everything said here tonight to Gokudera after the fact, I don't think it'll hurt you, by which I mean I don't think it'll worsen your relationship."

"You…What do you mean "worsen"?!"

"Look, can I give you a full summary of what really happened today? When I asked to meet for lunch today, all of us knew what I was about. It was because of the whole 'thing with Adelina,' as you put it. The why was because of my curiosity, concern, nosiness, if you want to call it that, on the situation. But it was really the how that was important, and that was how you and Gokudera react to the Deal with Adelina in the context of your relationship. And I learned a few things today. Are you following me so far?"

Yamamoto nodded and motioned for him to go on.

"Good. The first was that you, as in the both of you, have a fundamental difference—and the word "fundamental" is key here—in perception that neither of you will relax. You're already upset, and we can't turn back the clock. The second is that he's willing to appease you to keep the peace, but he doesn't and won't sympathize with you. The third is that both of your are tiptoeing around each other, on everything, and I frankly don't like that."

"So what's your point? I could have figured out all this by myself. This is hardly news. And since when did I need your approval on–"

"–My point is that I think you and he should break up."

In the silence that followed after this statement, the rush of cars in the background seemed to increase in volume. Yamamoto didn't know whether he should laugh at or rebut this statement, so in the end he ended up doing both.

"Wait, haha, what? Look, what I do with my own relationship is entirely up to me, okay?" He laughed some more. "Where'd you even get that from?"

"I don't think you two are working, that's all," Damien responded, unperturbed by being laughed at. "You can laugh all you want, but I'm being serious. I'm going to tell Gokudera the exact same once I get the chance, so..."

"Look, you can't just…You think he'll listen to you? Why exactly, or at all, do you think we should break up? This is just so ridiculous! He and I have been through so much stuff together and you think we should break up this seven-some year relationship because of this one thing?"

"Well, from a business standpoint, it doesn't matter how many economic downturns you've survived when your current business is making lower than the breakdown intake–"

"Yeah, but a relationship isn't quite the same as conducting business, is it?" Yamamoto snapped in more than distaste. "Or at least it _shouldn't_ be."

Damien shrugged but didn't back down. "Perhaps so. I honestly wouldn't know anything about it personally. But…either way, I think it would be better for him, at least for the moment, if you two broke it off."

"I don't _care_ what you think. I'll break it off when I damn well want to break it off!" Yamamoto felt a bit like a petulant child, but he didn't care about that either at the moment. "If this was all that you wanted to talk about, I think I'll leave."

"Just... Please stay for one more moment. Alright. You say that you don't want to leave him, so let me ask you this: Why _are_ you with him?" Damien was speaking very quietly and quite slowly, as though he was careful of how incensed he was making Yamamoto even if he didn't particularly care. "You don't know why you're with him, do you? You're with him out of habit, which is pretty much the exact reason why he's with you. Except it's worse for him because–"

"–I promise you that it's not worse for him. I can just guarantee that. And…and…yeah, I don't know how to say why I'm with him, but that's because it's the sort of thing that you can't put in words!"

"No, you can. I can say that I respect Gokudera because he is competent at his job and knows the ins and outs of the Mafia system. But what have you got to say about him in the context of your relationship? An objective outsider might look at this relationship and think: What sort of relationship is this? He pays you about as much attention as he would a stranger on the street right now because he's overworked."

"Yes, _because he's overworked_. We'll go back to normal when this blows over. Look, you're really not going to convince me to break things off with him just because you said so, alright? And I would rather we both pretend that this never happened. Good Night." And with that, Yamamoto left.

He felt immediately better when he had stepped off the rooftop, like he had made the right choice in not hearing out Damien to perhaps be persuaded otherwise. Still, he felt tremendously odd, somewhat guilty, and so he went down to the nearest convenience store, bought his coke and drank it, as slowly as possible. He had only been out of the house for about ten minutes, so he spent the next twenty just walking around, trying to not think so hard about what Damien had said.

/

* * *

When Yamamoto went back home, all seemed more or less the same way as he had left it.

But sometime in the first ten minutes back home, when he was in the middle of lying on his bed and watching some random show on TV, Gokudera sauntered into the Rain bedroom.

"That coke working on you?" he asked as he sat down on the bed.

"Oh…Nah. I had the decaffeinated stuff. And I walked off the sugar high. You done with work?"

"Yeah. I mean, there's always more things to do and check up on, but I could honestly just tell Damian or someone else to do it," Gokudera said, picking up the remote and turning down the TV volume. "Hmm…Speaking of which, you ran across Damien tonight, didn't you?"

Yamamoto's heart plummeted. "…Yeah," he admitted, after a moment of absolute and terrified silence. There was no hope to be had in denying it when it was clear that Damien must have called Gokudera. "What did he tell you?"

"According to him, same as he told you," Gokudera said, lying down on his back with his hands behind his head. He didn't seem to be angry, which was unexpected and also terrifying. "And I just wanted to know what you thought of it."

"I walked off," Yamamoto said immediately, as though this would somehow exonerate him. "I…I left. Didn't he say?"

"Well, yes, he told me that. So…am I to take it that you're absolutely set on us staying together even if we don't actually have much a relationship right now? You acknowledge that, don't you?"

"…Yeah. And…I mean…about staying together. Aren't…aren't you? I mean you said…before…about the whole commitment thing and all…"

"I still hold to that. I'm not suggesting that we break up, since obviously that would have repercussions that neither of us want to try to figure out, but…what about a…a break? Regular couples have breaks sometimes, right? When they just take some time off to have a breather?"

"You want to take… a break? What's that even mean?" Yamamoto's relief at not being yelled at for meeting Damien secretly was rapidly wearing off to a different fear. "How's that different from a break-up?"

"Taking a break is just to take some time off from the other person. You don't have to go through all the obligations that go with being in a relationship, but you still have the security of being with someone. It's…basically still being in the relationship, just not so up close and personal."

"And you want to take a break from me."

"Well…yes. I think it'd be good for both of us."

"That's what Damien fucking said," Yamamoto said bitterly. "And he said that he'd tell you the same thing he told me if I just left, but I didn't think he'd actually do it. Whatever happened to the law of omertá, huh? And he's from Sicily. They invented omertá there, for god's sake."

"…Takeshi, don't take it so hard," Gokudera said slowly, deciding not to point out that omertá was only applicable to Mafia information being snuck out of the Mafia, not within it. "…Look. If you don't want to go on a break, then we don't have to. I was just–"

"–If one person in a relationship says that they want out, temporary or otherwise, then it doesn't matter _what _the other person says or thinks," Yamamoto spat, snatching up the remote control. "They're _done_. So it doesn't matter what _I_ think. You want a break. So we're on a break. Go on your break." He turned the volume of the TV back up.

Gokudera was quiet for a moment, blinking almost owlishly. Then he smartly got up and headed for the door.

"Thanks," he said, pausing briefly at the threshold. "Good night." Then, just like that, he left.

/

* * *

**I usually project myself onto Gokudera, but this time it was Damien. I was dying for G and Y to break the fuck up already. It didn't make any sense that they were still together. And...now people are probably going to hate on Damien.**

**This story just gets more and more confusing the longer it gets. Damn it. And I'm trying to write realistically, here. Why does real life have to be such a motherfucking tragicomedy drama?**

**\**

**Make my day and _Review, please,_ why dontcha?  
**


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